underscoregeoff
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underscoregeoff look at this photo i found in my archive. i can't believe it was taken way back in our pining stage! we were so ignorant lol.
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awstenknight love you ❤
underscoregeoff @awstenknight love you more ❤❤
awstenknight @underscoregeoff love you most ❤❤❤
⭐⭐⭐
You had your own Pete Wentz and Patrick combined
Writing you songs and singing them all like
Every single day
Tour brings that special pain
So fuck yourself
And fuck your feelings
I believe but not in you and me, so
So fuck yourself
And fuck your feelings
I believe but not in you and me, so
I'd unfuck you if I could (ooh ooh ooh)
I'd unlove you like I should have
Months before I did
In the months before I split
It's turbulent, turbulent
I'd unfuck you if I could (ooh ooh ooh)
I'd unlove you like I should have
Months before I did
In the months before I split
It's turbulent, turbulent
You had your own Awsten Knight, (hi)
He texted back fast, and you made him laugh back
yeah
I must be out of my mind
Well, I know I am
Let's see, where to start?
How about the messages that I still send?
Even though you blocked my number
And you'd never fucking answer
My anxiety was turbulent, and permanent
You gave me hell on Earth
And said to "work with it"
So fuck yourself
And fuck your feelings
I believe but not in you and me, so
So fuck yourself
And fuck your feelings
I believe but not in you and me, so
I'd unfuck you if I could (ooh ooh ooh)
I'd unlove you like I should have
Months before I did
In the months before I split
It's turbulent, turbulent
I'd unfuck you if I could (ooh ooh ooh)
I'd unlove you like I should have
Months before I did
In the months before I split
It's turbulent, turbulent
We had a taste of the life
But you grew complacent
And sanity laced itself
Up in the back of my mind
And that's where I left you to die
That's not me. That was me four months ago, when I was angry with him for everything. All the pain I thought he had put me through, not knowing it was me myself being the asshole. I can't lose arguments ever, but that cost me happiness last time I tried it out. He was right; I am just a slut.
My ring should say otherwise, but it doesn't. It says, "Awsten, you slept with your best friend twice behind your fiancé's back and you're going into marriage with that on your shoulders, hope you're happy with yourself." and it fucking hurts. I screwed up big time.
My eyes stared deep into the camera, unsure if recording a lyric leak was a safe thing to do. It most likely isn't, especially considering how he's back in L.A living up the life with his fucking girlfriend who's gonna pop out a kid in a few months. They really don't deserve each other. That's another thing! I know they're dating, I just know it. She tells me he's got a complicated relationship with someone else, but I know that's a fucking lie. They're together. He left to the fucking UK to cover things up because he's that fucking petty.
My alarm goes off loudly, startling my soul right out of skin. We meet our first kid in about two and a half hours, and neither of us are ready. I was going to get in a quick video while Geoff slept in but we both failed in our plans.
"Babe, hi, we gotta get going soon," my fiancé says. "I know," I reply, "just getting up,"
He invites himself into our work room, slowly creeping up on me like I'm an angry cat you wish to pet. In a way, that's completely true. I'm a pussy who runs away from danger all. The. Time. It's a surprise he still loves me even though my emotions are constantly so unpredictable. One moment I'll be the happiest man you know, and the next I'll be wishing I was dead.
"Wow, your love is so strong after all you've been through!" Or..
"Glad to see such a young couple doing so well!"
Yeah, thanks, but it's only like that on Geoff's side now. I mean, I still love him, but it's not the same because I'm not deserving of everything he gives me. He doesn't need me.
"You okay?" He asks, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his body. "Never better," I say, fake smiling. He nods, reading my tone better than my words.
"You take your medicine today?" he whispers in my ear. I lick my lips slowly. "No,"
"You need to,"
"I'm fine, I promise,"
"No you're not,"
"Yes I am,"
"Awsten,"
I stand up quickly, pushing Geoff off me as I do so. "I'll take my fucking medicine! Just stop bothering me for a while, okay?!" I yell, immediately regretting it. He doesn't flinch because it's my normal behavior before noon. I would say I'm not going to be a good husband for him, but if he can stand me after all of this then maybe I am. Maybe my fucked up head balances out everything.
"I'm sorry babe, I love you," I tell him, leaning in for a hug. "It's okay," he speaks, planting kisses all around (and on) my lips. He makes me happy. He keeps me alive. And yet I cheated on him twice.
⭐⭐⭐
geoff and judi
soooo
a little birdie told me you're meeting your first kid today ?????
:)
yes we are!!
we're both very excited
i think this is really gonna help awsten's mental health
im sure it will
after i found out i was pregnant it was actually pretty nice because it gave me a reason to take care of myself
and ik it probably won't affect aws the same way my pregnancy affected me but it still might give him something to do for a change
like he actually has to do it
he has no choice but to take care of someone
yeah. it'll get him up more
im so excited to meet them too!! im ready to be a foster aunt 😤
lol
awsten talked about a dinner... maybe we should do it tonight?? to welcome the kid??
YES TOTALLY
WE CAN GO SHOPPING WITH THEM AND COOK THEM A DINNER OF WHATEVER THEY LIKE
you seem over enthused about this
THEY'RE A FOSTER KID WHO PROBABLY HAS A HARD LIFE SO I WANT TO HELP MAKE IT AMAZING
okay then
i need to come back home after we get our kid so i can drop them off at your apartment then yall can go get the food
sounds like a plan
see you babey!!
see you too beech 😘
⭐⭐⭐
patty and judi
geoff is dropping awsten and their kid off here in a couple of hours
he's coming over?
yeah
judi i can't do that yet
I'll take you somewhere before if you want but the dinner is tonight too
why is it tonight why can't it be later
because it's for their kid. i wanted to give them a nice welcome
im not ready to see him again so soon
you're being really selfish you know that
yes but I'm gonna die if i see him
honestly he'll probably be the one to die because he has fucking depression and anxiety because of your dumbass
what
That's what you fucking missed when you shipped yourself into an entirely different country just to live with some random ass guy you met at a show
we were mutuals and i knew he was a good guy okay
it was still extremely irresponsible to live with someone you barely knew. he could've been a fucking killer and killed you to sell your body on the black market and then what? our child wouldn't have a father and i wouldn't have a best friend
we weren't close at the time so i had nothing more to lose
so you'd have rather died then come back for us
yes
well so would awsten. he told all of us that. he said he wanted to kill himself because he couldn't tell you he was sorry, which is partially your fault bc you were too caught up in being mad that you fucking blocked his number and his accounts
he had to tell geoff almost everything that happened between you two because you're were being a selfish prick
so shame on you
i didn't know it was that bad
because you never fucking answered him! you said you felt something for him but you treated him like shit
stop fucking typing i have more to say
he told me about all that shit you said about geoff and how apparently he wasn't good for him and treated him horribly when at the end of it it was you who acted like that
and don't even try telling me it wasn't your fault because it was awsten who ended the argument because he wasn't the one who didn't even try to apologize for what they did to hurt the other
if by "hurt the other" you mean me having sex with Laura then that's fucking wrong because i had every right to do that
I'm not denying that at all, because you did have the right to do that, BUT you didn't have to act like it didn't hurt him. he wanted to apologize to you for what he had said but he also wanted one in return for you treating him so poorly towards the end
i did want to apologize but i thought he hated me
he's never hated you
none of us have
including geoff
he was so mean to me i felt like i had screwed up
you did screw up but he still cared about you
platonically
so do I
i just want to be friends again
i miss him
he does too
you were there when he said that
he told you directly
he did
do you know all the details of our argument?
yes
so you know about us?
if you're talking about the sexual things then yes i do
does geoff?
to an extent
how much does he know?
he knows you two had done intimate stuff but im pretty sure he doesn't know it was sexual
if anything he probably just thinks it was a couple of exchanged kisses and whatnot
i hope that's what he thinks it is
he's not too mad at me is he?
i don't think so
i know he wasn't happy about it but i think the fact that awsten literally wanted to die was more concerning than anything
true
i can take you somewhere beforehand if you really want me to
that way you won't have to see him until tonight
how about i take you somewhere instead??
sure
but where ?
anywhere
I'll have to drop you off back home though because im a fucking chicken lmao
it's okay i understand
thank you
uwu
now get ur ass out here i wanna talk to you irl 😤😤
I'll be right theeerrreeee
⭐⭐⭐
i really love judi my god
~ryan