"I'm afraid she's lost her memory," the doctor says, looking around at the people huddled inside my little room.
A woman with dark curly hair, probably in her early forties, starts crying. She stares at me, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable in this room I don't recognize and these people I don't know. There's a girl with clear skin and straight, bright blonde hair whose brown eyes are watering. She's looking at me, though. I don't know whether to hold the gaze or look away. I feel so out of place here.
"She has post-traumatic memory loss. It occurs when an accident, such as the recent car crash, occurs. She's perfectly fine, physically. She can come home, but let's just wait until tomorrow," he says with a slight nod.
"Will her memory ever come back?" The girl that is now wiping tears away asks.
"If memories don't start flooding back, if she doesn't start remembering things in the next two or three weeks, no. Like I said, I'm sorry," the doctor gives one last glance around the room before stepping outside.
"Brinley?" The girl asks, looking in my direction. It becomes apparent that she's talking to me.
I turn to the others in the room, feeling so confused. How do they know me? Why can't I even recall my own name? There isn't one event with any of these people I can remember.
"Clarin, honey, let's not overwhelm her," the older woman says to the young girl, now known as Clarin.
"I know. Can I just... Have a few minutes alone?" Clarin asks, looking over at the woman I assume to be her mom.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Her mom asks, frowning in concern.
"I think it is," Clarin nods, looking determined.
Her mom hesitates, looking at me carefully. I open my mouth, as if trying to explain my presence here. But I can't. I don't know how I got here. I don't remember the accident the doctor was talking about. I most certainly don't recognize these people crowding me.
"Alright," her mom says quietly, standing up from the bench. "Lets give her some time."
Everyone leaves the room except for me and Clarin. She looks at me curiously, tears still visible in her eyes. She's a beautiful girl. It seems so out of place for someone like her to cry.
"Hey," she says quietly.
I don't reply, I only stare at her expectantly.
"Um, I'm Clarin. Your sister... Twin sister, actually," Clarin smiles.
My eyes widen and I look around the room in search of a mirror. That can't be true, can it?
"Yeah, it's true," she laughs a little. "And, your name is Brinley. In case you didn't know."
I blink a few times, finding everything hard to process. I lost my memory? Who was I?
"I bet you're wondering why you're in here," she says with a sigh.
"Yeah," I say. I can't help my curiosity. I try to sit up. My side aches as I do so, and I wince, holding onto it.
"You were in an... accident two nights ago," Clarin says, looking away sadly.
"That explains the pain," I let out a dry laugh.
"Mmhm," Clarin looks down at her feet. "And as you heard you lost all your memory and stuff..."
"Really?" I ask, looking at the door. No memory of my past life. No memory of my own family. "Who're they?"
"Well, there was our mom. You could probably guess who she was," Clarin says. She's right. I can guess who that was. The woman crying uncontrollably. "And, Cheryse, our aunt was here, and Jackie your best friend. Well, besides me of course."
"Wow," I say quietly. And I feel overwhelmed again. My chest tightens and I don't know where to look. I bite my lip and furrow my eyebrows angrily. Why can't I recall anything about myself?
"There are lots of people who care about you," she says. "Oh! Owen was here earlier too. He left when you woke up though. He's a good friend of yours."
I tilt my head in thought, trying to recognize the names. Any of them. None.
"We all love you, you know?" Clarin says with a small smile, but tears gleam in her eyes.
"I don't even know who I am," I say softly.
Clarin takes a deep breath, a few tears spilling over. "I do. So if you have any questions, let me know. Everyone loved you. Everyone still does."
I feel so bad that I don't know how to comfort her. I don't know what to do. I just watch her, feeling terrible that I'm letting all these people down. I've taken their sister, their daughter, their friend away from them and replaced her with a clueless person that doesn't remember any of them.
The door across the room opens and the dark haired woman, my mom, comes in.
"Clarin, I think that's enough for today," she says. "It's almost nine. Lets give Brinley some time to sleep."
"Okay," Clarin nods, taking one glance at me before leaving the room.
My mom doesn't leave. She takes a few steps towards me. I shouldn't feel uncomfortable around my own mom, but I do. I don't really know her.
"Hey, Brinley," she crosses her arms and stands at the foot of my bed. "Are you doing alright?"
"I...I'm just so confused," I say, shaking my head.
"I know," she says softly. "It'll get easier, I promise."
She touches my hand gently before smiling sadly and exiting the room. She turns the lights off on the way out.
I fall asleep quickly, feeling drained.
*•*•*
"Let's get you home," mom says, walking me alongside Clarin.
"I'm ready to be out of that depressing hospital," Clarin lets out a long sigh.
My mom presses a button on her car keys. A small black car's lights brighten, showing that it unlocked. We all pile inside, Clarin and I in the back.
The drive is a short one, and I spend most of it watching out the window curiously. This is my town. Those are people that might know me. That could be my favorite restaurant. That could be my usual grocery store.
"Here we are," my mom exclaims, pulling the car to a stop in the driveway.
It's an average size house, tan stucco, brown shutter outside each window, a staircase leading to the front porch. There's a bench swing sitting in front of it. The door is covered in paper hearts, the center one saying 'Brinley, we love you!' I look up in surprise at Clarin. She smiles brightly.
"They're from out neighbors," she explains.
"How... Why?" I ask, feeling confused.
"I told you, people really care about you," she says. Then she opens the front door and gestures for me to enter.
The front room is large and open, with cream walls lining each side. There are family photos on each one. The floor is dark hardwood, and there is daylight shining through the window and illuminating the entire space.
Clarin guides me up the staircase. I take each step cautiously, looking around with curiosity. I know that this must have been my home every day and I knew it front and back, but now it seems so foreign. Everything does.
"This is the bathroom," she says, pointing to a door to our left. "And this is our parents' room." She moves further down the hallway. I follow. "This is Allen's room." She moves along until the hallway turns to the left. "This is my room," she points to the first door on the right. "This is yours," she points to the one across from it.
I open the door carefully, looking inside. It's a fairly plain room, with light blue walls and navy bed spread. There's a white dresser on the left, with a mirror on top. She was telling the truth. I look identical to her. I have the same long blonde hair and dark brown eyes. I have the same clear skin and natural smile. There are pictures of Clarin and I. It might take some getting used too that we look identical, because I can't tell the difference between us in the pictures.
On my bed is a phone that I assume to be mine. I turn it on and find I've got plenty of missed calls and texts.
'Where are you?' -Mom
'Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?' -Mom
'Your mom called and said you were gone.' -Owen
'Is everything okay?' -Owen
'I heard about what happened! Are you alright?' -Renae
'Your mom said something's wrong. Where are you?' -Taylor
'So you don't remember me? At all? I heard the results and stuff...' -Jackie
I don't know who is who or how I know any of these people, besides my mom. I don't know what to respond or how. I just stare blankly at the screen, trying to recall some event I may remember. I'm trying to picture their faces. I can't.
I don't remember anything. I close my eyes and try to pull any memory of anyone or anything. I draw a blank. I feel frustrated and clueless and helpless. If this is how I'm going to live the rest of my life, I'm going to drive myself completely insane.
"You okay?"
I look up to find Clarin in my doorframe. I nod, letting out a long sigh.
"Having trouble remembering who you were... Uh... Are?"
I nod again, feeling tears start to come to my eyes.
"Why don't I tell you an old story about the two of us?" She asks, walking in and sitting beside me on the edge of my bed. "One that I personally enjoy very much."
"Thanks," I say quietly.
"Okay," she lets out a long breath. "We were way back in elementary school. Our teacher was Ms. Gardner. She used to mix up our names almost every day. You would get so mad when she called you Clarin that you started breaking a crayon every time she said you were me. Eventually, she just started calling us both Brinley because she was running out of crayons."
I smile, but it is very forced. I know she's only trying to make me feel better, but seeing her cry like this makes me extremely uncomfortable.
"You were a sassy girl," she laughs. "Oh, there was this other time in middle school when I had a boyfriend, Alec. You really hated him and he secretly loved you. He only dated me to get closer to you. One day he pretended to think you were me and kissed you. You yelled at him and hit him upside his head with your science textbook. He was knocked out cold. That was the last day he went to our middle school. He transferred because he was scared of you."
I hang on to her every word, desperately trying to grasp who I'm supposed to be. And there's so much I don't know. What was the car accident? What happened?
"Thanks for telling me," I say, smiling at Clarin once it's evident she's finished.
"I figured you'd like to know a little about yourself." She stands to leave the room.
I pick up my phone again and decide to go through it a little more. I go back to the pictures. There are mostly ones of Clarin and I. There are a few with a group of people I don't know. There is one with me and a boy with dark hair and green eyes. I don't recognize him, but I'm pretty sure I was friendly with him because in the picture he's kissing my cheek.