December 26th, 2012
After long contemplating over night whether or not I should come out of the closet with my “friends” and see what they’re reactions were I decided…that I would. This would be the test to see who my real friends were and who the motherfuckers were who are fake.; I already called Adam so we could all meet up at is house later to play some video games. I would butter them up with video games then I would sit them all down to talk about it. I really do hope this will make me feel better in the long run because I don’t think I could walk out that house knowing all of them were fakes. Well, I guess I’ll see what happens later.
5:09
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I KNEW THEY WOULD DO THIS TO ME! I KNEW THEY WERE ALL JUDGEMENTABLE MOTHERFUCKERS! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDS WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE IF I HAD KNOWN WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN.
7:00
I fucking hate they’re guts. Now that I’m calm and done crying my eyes out me can write my experience down in my diary. Just remember to breathe in…then out. Okay, so once I got over Adam’s house we started playing video games as planned. I sat them down as planned. And we talked as planned.
“You, guys, I have something to tell you. It’s very important and you need to listen up. “I took a breather so wouldn’t stutter or my voice would come out shaky. “I’ve known this for a while and I think it’s time you’ve know; I’m gay.”
All their eyes widened and they were taken aback.
“I really hope you guys can accept me for who I am. We’ve been friends for forev—“
“Get out.” Adam suddenly said. No expression on his face.
“Huh?”
“I said, ‘get out’. Can’t faggots hear? I said GET OUT! You faggot as motherfucker! I don’t want one of you to stink up my house with your fucking faggot ass decease.”
“But you guys I—“
Suddenly they all got up from their seats on the couch and started shouting things at me; harsh words I didn’t want to hear again. I could handle ‘faggot’ but those words….they were like bricks being thrown at me. I ran out of the door and didn’t look back
Those guys were supposed to be my friends yet they were yelling such nasty things full of hatred that I didn’t expect them to say. For years we’ve been friends but just because all of a sudden I tell them about my sexual orientation they won’t speak to me again? That’s fucked up! I was numb up to that point and ran all the way to Ariel’s house. She had a feeling this would happen so she was on standby in case the worst case scenario and this was worst case scenario. I didn’t like anyone seeing me like this but I was open arms because I needed someone to be there for me; like I said these next few days would be hell served on a hot platter but my old life was coming to an end and my new life was just beginning. A new beginning for me. Things can only get worse before they get better. For right now I’ll just keep watching reruns with Ariel and eating ice cream in pajamas.