Requested by 00luckylightning00
Summary; Peter has a presentation but manages to f*** it up and everything goes wrong.
Includes nothing but swearing.
Peter let out a heavy breath, standing exhaustedly up from his seat. The bell's ringing was a bit too loud, piercing through his ears, though Peter was too relieved to care. The day was over. Sure, he had close to a hundred assignments waiting for him, but no more school.
Happy drove him home, as usual, Peter talking his ears off the entire way. Despite not at all showing, it was the highlight of the chauffeur's day.
Right as Peter slopped down on his bed of exhaustion, after finishing two hours worth of homework, the door was opened in a drastic hurry.
"Pete, there's been a nuclear accident in Japan, we gotta go, now!" Steve said quickly.
Peter let out a groan. "Japan? That's far away . . . can't I just lie here for a bit? We'll still have lots of time to evacuate. . ." he murmured, stopping when Steve chuckled lightly.
"Kid, we're not evacuating, we're going there to help," he said. "You don't have to come if you don't want to."
Peter sighed and shook his head. "No, I'm coming," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"Get your suit on, meet us by the jet in—" Steve paused to glance at his watch. "—thirty seconds."
He spurted off, probably going to alert any others who hadn't heard the initial alarm. Tiredly, Peter stood up and grabbed his suit that was hanging neatly on his bedside, starting towards the quinjet landing pad.
"You sure this was a good idea?" Tony asked, lightly prodding the probably unconscious spiderling in the forearm. "You don't usually hang unresponsive from the ceiling . . ."
"What, no, I'm fine!" Peter said as he shook awake, letting out a cough as he dropped down and stood normally. "Just, tired, that's all."
Tony raised a concerned eyebrow. "Did Spangles not tell you that you didn't have to come? We could've managed it."
Peter yawned. "Yeah, he did tell me that," he muttered. "But then I remembered how helpless you guys are without me."
Tony scoffed. "Heroic as you are, you've still got school tomorrow. Now go to bed."
Peter sniffled. "Finally," he mumbled, beginning to walk in the completely wrong direction out of the jet.
Before he could get too far, Tony grabbed him by the shoulder. "That way," he corrected, rotating him facing the actual compound.
Peter ahhed and smiled sloppily at Tony. "Thanks, dad," he slurred, continuing his walk towards his long-awaited bed.
»»————- ————-««
"Whatever you do, do not let Peter go to school," Tony told his A.I, taking a sip of his newly-brewed coffee. "He didn't sleep until four am last night."
"I'm afraid Mr. Parker has already left," FRIDAY said.
Tony's face dropped and he slammed his coffee cup into the kitchen counter with disappointment. "What time did he leave?"
"He left at his usual time, 7 am, driven by Happy Hogan."
Tony furrowed his eyebrows. "What time is it now?"
"10 am, sir."
Tony huffed in annoyance; he overslept. "Where is everyone, then? 10 am is usually prank time here. When was the last time Sam and Buck weren't fighting at this hour?"
"Everyone's asleep, sir. Jetlag, from yesterday's mission." FRIDAY explained briefly. "You're the only one who runs entirely on caffeine, so naturally, you're the only one awake."
Tony rolled his eyes. "Call him, would 'ya?"
"Calling Mr. Parker," FRIDAY said, bringing up a hologram in front of Tony. Dial tones echoed through the clean kitchen.
Tony's lips forcefully curled into a smile, seeing the utterly stupid photo Peter set as his contact. It was a shot of him along with Tony, where Tony was fast asleep on his desk and Peter was doing bunny ears on him.
As the dial tones stopped, Tony glanced back to check on the status on the call. He bit his lip, seeing that Peter answered.
"Hey, kid, why'd you go to school?" Tony asked in his 'dad' voice.
Peter didn't directly reply, only a shuddering breath could be heard. "Dad . . ." he whispered. "I've made a terrible mistake."
»»————- ————-««
Peter dragged himself out of bed, slipping into some random clothes that lay in a pile of newly-done laundry. He knew he had a very good reason to stay home from school, what with jetlag and overall dysfunction. Being the overprotective soul that he was, Tony also wouldn't approve.
But staying home wasn't an option for the spider. He was determined to go, both to avoid suspicion and to do the mandatory presentations required for a grade.
"Kid, you alright?" Happy asked, for once showing some concern.
Peter inhaled sharply and murmured something in reply.
"That's a yes or no question." Happy said sternly. "Are you or are you not alright?"
"I'm fine, Hap," Peter said. "Just . . . jetlagged, I guess. We were in Japan yesterday."
Happy seemed satisfied enough with the response, turning on the car and laughing lightly. "I'm glad I don't have the whole superhero ordeal going on," he said. "Exhausting, scary, and traumatic."
Peter shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much," he muttered, blinking tiredly with his heavy eyelids. He paused for a while, before asking a purely theoretical question. "How do you stay awake, even if you're really tired?"
Happy absentmindedly replied. "Coffee, lots of it. Or energy drinks." There was silence for a while, mostly occupied by Happy regretting his words. "Don't try that, kiddo. Whatever you do, don't try that."
Peter internally swore; now he needed to find another solution to his problem. He nodded. "Yeah, no, of course, I was just . . . asking for a friend."
»»————- ————-««
The soles of Peter's shoes were literally filed by the ground. He barely lifted his feet; he was apparently expecting them to work like rollerskates. A voice resonated in the back of his head, not catching his notice until it was right in front of him.
"Peter?" Ned asked. "You . . . there?"
Peter blinked a few times to get rid of the heavy blur that clouded his vision. Oh, it was only Ned. How fun. "Yeah, unfortunately," he slurred tiredly. "I'm exhausted."
Ned wrinkled his face in concern. Peter really did look tired. "You should've stayed home."
Peter shook his head confidently. "You know I couldn't have. It's the due date of most of our papers and presentations today. I just need caffeine. Do you have any?"
Ned crossed his arms. "Yeah, just follow me to my secret stash of caffeine," he said sarcastically, although Peter didn't seem to pick up on that.
"Great. Which way?" Peter asked.
Ned sighed. "I'm kidding," he said. "Don't make me call Mr. Stark, okay? Just stay awake."
Peter nodded. "I'll try," he muttered. "Don't call dad . . . please."
"Let's hope I won't have to."
»»————- ————-««
The bell rang, waking Peter from his power-nap he slept during maths. He was extremely lucky that the presentations he had to do during the day all were pre-recorded videos, and the papers he needed to hand in were already finished. That meant that his presence was almost all that was required out of him.
Of course, there was a little bit of work, also . . .
Enough about that. Peter scrambled his things together, joining MJ in the lump heading out from the classroom. She had been filled in by Ned of Peter's current state of energy; close to zero.
"You look like shit," she said reassuringly. "Really shit."
Peter made a noise, rubbing one of his eyes. "I just have this presentation on the Roman Empire, then I can sleep until lunch. Just one more class. I can do this, can't I?"
MJ looked doubtful. "I don't know, it doesn't appear that you can . . ."
Peter pursed his lips and shrugged half-heartedly. "What's the worst thing that can happen?"
Oh, sweet, innocent Peter . . .
»»————- ————-««
"Thank you, Mr. Thompson. We really enjoyed your presentation, didn't we, class?"
Flash snickered as he sat down in his seat again, glaring at the half-asleep Penis Parker who was drooling in his seat. The teacher noticed it, but honestly just didn't care.
"Okay, uhm, Mr. Parker?" Mrs. Hollow announced, reading from a list. Her eyes fixed on the sleeping teen in the back of the room. "Mr. Parker?"
"Hmm?" Peter asked, shooting right up from the desk, acting as though never asleep. No detective was however needed to see how utterly drained he looked. Realizing it was his turn to present, he grabbed his laptop and made his way to the front of the room.
"Roman Empire, yes?" Mrs. Hollow clarified as Peter plugged in the HDMI chords to the projector.
Peter hummed, pulling up what he thought to be the right video, although way too tired to check. Wasting unnecessary energy wasn't something he was willing to do. He simply pressed play, directing everyone's attention off of him and onto the projected video. The eyes didn't stay off him for long, though.
"Ten bucks Penis will faint before the video is over," Flash whispered confidently to one of his goons.
"You got it," he replied, bumping Flash's fist discreetly to not show the teacher.
Flash proceeded to turn his attention to the projected video. A black screen displayed, with white words reading 'A film by Peter Parker'.
He scoffed quietly to himself. Peter was feeling cocky enough to add an artistic touch.
"New York, Queens. It's a rough borough, but hey, it's home," video-Peter said in a gruff tone, confusing many of the students, including Flash. What was this, an autobiography?
"Who're you talking to?" A suited man sitting in the driver's seat of an expensive car now asked. Clothed like a bodyguard, maybe?
"No-one." Peter chirped quickly in his regular tone. "Just making a little video of the trip."
Flash began picking up on whispers around the room, all talking about how they thought it was the wrong video. Flash only hoped they would shut up long enough for him to find out the actual origins of the clip.
"You know you can't show it to anyone?"
"I know."
"Then why are you narrating in that voice?"
"Hmm, because it's fun?"
"Fun?"
"So . . . uh . . . why'd they call you Happy?"
The assumed bodyguard rolled up a divider between the front and back seat, showing a reflection that confirmed it was indeed Penis Parker. What the hell was this video from? Penis wasn't cool enough to have his own staff . . . right?
"Come on, I'm not carrying your bags for you." The bodyguard continued, now on a runway and pointing to a . . . Stark Industries private jet!?
"Should I- should I maybe go to the bathroom before?"
"There's a bathroom on it."
"Woah, no pilot? That's awesome!"
There was more . . . nonsense, that Flash didn't bother to care about. It wasn't until a certain sentence came from Peter's mouth that grabbed him back. Many gasped around the classroom, but the drowsy presenter didn't notice.
"No-one's actually told me why I'm in Berlin, or what I'm doing," Peter told the camera. "Something about . . . Captain America going crazy?"
"What?" Flash uttered weakly, but everyone was too intrigued to care.
The camera soon cut to the revealing moment, the one which made Mrs. Hollow drop her coffee cup to the floor and shattering it into a thousand pieces. The moment where Peter stood in his Spider-Man suit in front of a mirror, motivating himself.
"Penis is Spider-Man!?" Flash screeched, finally waking Peter.
"What? No!" Peter muttered automatically, before grasping the situation. "Shit!"
"Mr. Parker!?" Mrs. Hollow yelled sternly.
"In my defense," Peter whispered in shock, panicking to shut the video down. His face significantly paled from that in the video. His chocolate eyes widened in fear. "I am really, really tired."
"You're actually Spider-Man . . . ?" Flash stuttered, having unknowingly shot up from his seat. "Prove it. I don't believe you."
Peter gave him a stressed look, folding his laptop together. "Uh, I'd rather not, actually. You ever heard the term 'secret' before?"
The adrenaline flooding through his veins as a side effect of the initial shock and accidental reveal of his identity kept Peter at his toes. Replying wittily to Flash kept him slightly distracted from the feelings of anxiety and failure bubbling up inside of him. He hurriedly disconnected the computer from the projector, but that didn't mean everything was undone. He wasn't a secret anymore.
A low and soft voice, too quiet for a regular ear to hear, calmed him down significantly. It was Ned, who for some reason hadn't warned Peter sooner. Anger joined the emotions he was enduring. "Peter," it whispered.
Peter's eyes met Ned's, both slightly tearful. Fury shone through Peter's, while guilt peered through Ned's.
"Why didn't you do something?" Peter asked aloud, allowing the whole class to hear their upcoming argument.
"I'm sorry," Ned defended. "It's just . . . I didn't know what it was!"
Peter rolled his eyes, starting at the door leading out to the hallway. He didn't care about class anymore. He felt betrayed and angry at himself. His phone began buzzing in his pocket, and upon seeing who it was, he answered.
"Hey, kid, why'd you go to school?" Tony asked in his 'dad' voice.
Peter didn't directly reply, only talking a shuddering breath. "Dad . . ." he whispered.
"I've made a terrible mistake . . ."