"I'm looking in the mirror at this woman down and out. She's internally dying and knew this was not what loves about" - Ashanti (Rain on me)
IN THIS THERE WILL BE SEXUAL CONTENT AND VIOLENCE.
I N D I A N A
6:07am
I drove around for 4 hours and now I'm finally pulling up home.
I went inside the house and locked the door quietly.
I turned on the light and Tray was sitting on the couch shaking his head.
"H-hey" I stuttered nervous
"Where you been?" He question with rage in his eyes, I knew what was about to happen.. sad to say
"I went to clear my mind that's all" I said being truthful
"You cleared your mind for 3 hours?" He scrunched up his face
"You only been home for 2 days and wanna argue with me.. I'm not up for it I just told you the truth if you can't accept that you gotta go, I'm tired of yo shit" I rolled my eyes before going upstairs
Seconds later he followed me into the bedroom I took off my pants leaving the hoodie on and laid down.
"I'm sorry I just got trust issues" he said closing the door
I groaned irritated ...
"Look India, I believe you I just let the voices inside my head tell me how to run my life"
I was a emotional wreck right now, because of the abortion. I can't stop thinking about it.. but I couldn't keep the baby, so I did what had to be done. I'm letting my emotions get the best of me, I might say the wrong things and regret it.
"Do me a favor Tray" I said sitting up looking him in the eyes
"Anything Indiana"
"Leave... and never come back" I said, I didn't mean it, I mean I needed my space to heal from the bad I did. I wanted space but I wanted him to be in it.
"What?"
"Leave and never come back... I think I gotta just clear my mind more and fix myself" I looked down
"Brook come on talk to me... I didn't do nun wrong to make you feel this way so why I gotta leave ?I know somethings wrong with you, what's going on?" he said
I hate how he reads me like a book, he always knows when something's wrong.
"Tray remember when I said I slept with someone else to get revenge"
"Yeah I'm over that why?"
"I got pregnant by him"
He looked at me in disgust before standing up
His fist balled up making his veins pop out.
He's coming out... but at this point and at this moment I don't care, if he gotta take all his bottled up emotions out on me he better do what he gotta do.
"If you're gonna beat me.. beat me I don't care," I spat not thinking
"Don't push me please you might regret that shit India seriously"
"Oh shut up, maybe you should go back to jail go away forever I'm tired of you.. I'm tired of your bipolar ass, and your craziness. I wish I never met you maybe my life would be normal ya know?" I said looking right in his eyes as they started sparkling
All these different emotions made me say things that I wasn't trying to say or make come out I was built up with so sadness hurt and anger that I was just letting all my hidden emotions come out, don't get me wrong I love Tray but being single and not having to worry if you were gonna get another person everyday would be like a vacation.
He raised a eyebrow with a 'oh you don't even know how bad imma hurt you' face.
Trays eyes then turned blue I quickly got up and tried to run out the room but before I could he grabbed pushed me back onto the bed.
Blade grabbed me by the shirt and punched me in the face making me go back.
He threw me onto the ground and kicked me all in the stomach.
I tried to crawl away but I was instantly pulled back, he punched me all in my stomach, kicked me in the neck making me gasp for air.
"You're worthless.. you're a piece of shit" I heard him say before I blacked out
5:30 pm
I woke up chained up to the bed... and I had a bad pound in my head.
I looked around to see Tray... in the corner of the room, sitting on the floor covering his ears rocking back and forth
"No..." he whispered
I looked at him confused
"Go away Blade.. go away" he screamed making me jump and the sounds of the chains movement made him look up
"India baby!" He says with sadness his eyes where all watery.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I made him come out, you just gotta watch what you say"
I tried moving away as he came closer to me, I don't wanna be scared of Tray but knowing what he can do and how he can change to one person to another can make you scared.
"Don't touch me" I said in fear
Tray .. well Blade bit me multiple times but never this bad, I'm shocked I never thought this shit was goin happen.
He didn't say nothing he just unchained me and hugged me as I felt a tear drop on my bare chest.
I pushed him off me and ran to the bathroom locking the door.
I looked in the mirror looking at my swollen lip, my black eye, and the bruises on my chest going to my stomach.
I was naked, why? I don't even know
I cried hard and shook my head.. maybe I deserved this I did say some hurtful shit, but I ain't mean it.
Tray banged on the door but I ignored him
"I'm sorry" I heard him mumble
"My dad said the same shit to my mom and still did it again" I mumbled loud enough for him to hear
I heard sniffles as he busted out crying.
"Fuck! Indiana Brooklyn Marie, I'm so sorry ima make it right. I'm gonna get some help, the pills ain't working I would never hurt you. It was Blade..." he said but whispered the last past.
I ignored him rolling my eyes, I saw one of his shirts on the floor and I decided to put I it on.
I slid down on the door and cried closing my eyes drifting off to sleep.
3 hours later I finally woke up with a major headache.
I got up from the floor and opened the door .. he wasn't there, instead he was laying on the bed with a gun against his head.
"Tray no, don't do it" I ran over to him on the bed
"I'm worthless I'm crazy.. I don't deserve to live India, I'm so sorry for putting in this situation. I'm sorry for not being normal enough for you" he said as tears flowed with his words
"No Tray...you can't leave me, I don't care what you did. You have to be here for Josiah"
He looked me into my eyes and didn't say a word, his hand was close to pulling to trigger back.
I grabbed the gun as we fought over it I got on top of him and used all my strength to take the gun out his hand and threw it across the room.
He pushed me off him lightly and I my breathing was very heavy.
"I didn't want you to leave me Tray... I don't know what I would do without you he-"
He cut off my sentence pulling me into a passionate kiss making me go into shock but I shortly went along with it.
Tray literally ripped off the shirt I was wearing and threw it to the side.
"I'll buy another shirt like that later but this is more important" he mumbled into the kiss.
I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck.
We kissed for more minutes until he pulled away
"Lay back" he said
I did as told and he got on top of me kissing on my neck leaving love marks all over.
"Mmh" I moaned a little
He wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled off his basketball shorts along with his underwear.
His tool sprung out showing off his hardness making me want to put it inside me immediately.
"I'm sorry... I'm. So . Sorry" he said kissing on my neck with each word
I felt him insert inside of me, making me moan out loud.
He was going slow making me moan at the same pace... I started crying only because of what happened earlier and because of me being emotional.
"Baby... I will never hurt you again. Oh Fuck!" He groaned going harder but still slow.
It hurt because of the bruises on my stomach it ignored.
"Ughn, yes ok baby" I moaned as more tears flowed
I grabbed onto his back digging my freshly lavender nails into it.
He hissed in response before bringing my legs over my head using my thighs as support to hold on to and go deeper.
I clinched around him as he didn't speed up one bit he pulled out for a little before pounded back into me making me moan louder than before.
"Awhn" I moaned before I felt him groan really loud closing his eyes digging his nails in my thighs causing me whimper
I looked down seeing him pull out of me as his nut oozed out of me.
He laid on top of my stomach as his eyes started to close.
"I still wanna do it" he said referring to suicide
"We'll talk about this tomorrow" I sighed before closing my eyes and dosing off again.
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