"So he will be doing ISS in school suspension for 3 days please sigh here but for now he has to go home and he will start back again tomorrow."
I waited in the office. My mom having to sign in papers and from the corner of my eye I can see mark talking to his mom and dad to the principal. "Fuck my fuckin life." I mumbled as I balled my fists feeling anger for no reason at all.
My mom finishes as she doesnt tell me anything and walks right out the door and out to the parking lot as I followed quickly getting into the front seat.
"Look mom I'm-"
"Bambam! You can't say you're sorry and do the same shit again! What? Do you think that a sorry will make up all the stuff you do? I trusted you to try your best this year! If you dont want to go to school anymore I'll send you off by yourself back to Thailand and there dont go to school!"
Shit. Its not even about the school if I'm being honest. Yes school fucking sucks I'm just terrified of thinking about the future I'm not ready for that. But what will my mom understand any of that.
I let out a mellow chuckled and sighed. "I dont want to go back to Thailand mom-"
"If you dont want to go back then why are doing all this?! What do you need counseling? You got anger issues or something? Honey you need to talk to me this isnt a question. What the hell is your father doing to say about this? C'mon answer me!"
I felt my eyes covered with my tears one falling with no regrets.
"I- I dont fucking know mom."
"You never fucking know."
She parked at her spot and down she got off. I was scared. For the first time I was actually scared to see my dad face to face. I was scared that he would literally kill me.
I walked closer to the door as I heard arguing from both of them. I opened the door and dad came down marching towards me grabbing my jacket and yanking it as I lost my balance and fell to the floor.
"You stupid little kid! You act as if you were so grown! What are we gonna do bambam?! What the hell are we gonna do about you?!"
I sat on the ground without answering. I dont know how to answer.
"I'm asking you what are we going to do about you?! Answer me or stuff will get bad bambam!"
I got my position ready in case he actually got physical. But I'm not waiting for that. I got my phone off the ground and ran passed him and out the door. Hearing his yells from behind me I continued to run I was not looking back.
How the hell did I even get here? What was the point of it? Man how I wish to just go back! Shouldve rode things slow and try but I fucking can't.
I stopped to text jinyoung I sat down by a park not knowing where to go or what to do .
Me:
Jinyoung
Me:
I dont know what to do jinyoung
Me:
I'm scared and I think I ran away from
My house idk if I want to go back
I have no where to go
I got in a fight with Mark without it
Being his fault I cant believe this
Jinyoung.
Me:
I dont know what to do
Jinyoung. I'm really scared
Me:
When you see this can you please respond?
Idk what to do I never know what to do
Jinyoung. Imsorryjinyoung
I sat down on a swing swinging as a small boy came running near me with his sister maybe and the mom on her phone.
I stopped and looked at them for a second and they looked right back waving at me. I waved back. As they played in the sand box I just found me walking towards them hoping the mom didnt find me as a kidnapper or something.
"Hey." I smiled sniffling a little as the boy didnt respond. Shit hes scared of me or something?
"Not gonna hurt you I just wanna play too if that's alright." I smiled as I got some of the sand and rolled it up into small balls.
The boy smiled as he got out some of those plastic toys to make shapes and shit.
"Is that your mom?" The boy turned around and nodded his head and the mom looked at me cautiously.
"Shes a very pretty women."
"Very" he replied.
I felt a buzz in my pocket and I quickly pulled my phone out seeing 3 messages from jinyoung.
Jinyoung💗:
Hey what happen?? Are you okay? Mark told me you 2 had a verbal and physical fight what was that about?
Jinyoung💗:
And hey hey calm down okay? I get that you're a little scared but you need to calm down where are you at and wdym you ran away from home
Jinyoung💗:
And I cant call you now until lunch since I left to the restroom after I got your texts but tell me you're alright.
Me:
Oh my God jinyoung I'm okay
But I missed up badly I shouldve
Not left my house idk why I did it
Me:
Idk why I started that whole fight
With mark I assumed that he was
Acting like a slut or a hoe or whatver
And it just happen but I swear
Idk why i did it i really dont.
Me:
I'll be back at school tomorrow
I'm just in ISS for the moment
But I home jinyoung..
I don't think i can go back
And idk what to do.
Jinyoung💗:
Goddam bambam why would you do that
Jinyoung💗:
I'd say come to my house but we're neighbors by 2 houses.
Jinyoung💗:
Where are you at then? So maybe I can come and get you after i get out and we can talk about it and see what we can do.
Jinyoung💗:
But do please come to school tomorrow alright?
Me:
I'm at a stupid park with a little kid making
Me company since I'm so alone right now
Me:
Jinyoung you dont know how sorry
I am for having you deal with me
But I really have no one else.
Me:
But please go back to class and talk to
Me when you get at lunch I dont want you getting in trouble. Not you.
Jinyoung💗:
Trust me I know you're sorry you say it all the time when you do something dumb.
Jinyoung💗:
Alright I'll call you at lunch okay to see what the hell you wanna do and see where you will sleep and all.
I let out tears off my face so much was happening but i cant just cry and cry and hope that people will feel bad for me.
"Are you okay?" The little boy asked me. I quickly cleared away my tears and laughed a little.
"Yea my friend just said a funny joke and it made me cry cause it was really funny." I said whipping my eyes completely.
"Ahh what was the joke then I'd like to hear."
"Its a little hard to understand it... that's nice it looks like an ice cream." I said as I pointed at his deformed ice cream cone.
"Yes! I love ice cream after this mommy going to take my sister and I. You want some?" He offered. Oh of course I do it would me feel a lot better.
"No no it's fine I got ice cream at home." I smiled shaping more random stuff with the sand.
"How does being grown up feel? Mommy gets to do a lot of things as a grown up but when I say if I can do something she says 'until I'm older'"
Oh dead if this boy knew.
"Growing up is a pain in the butt. Yes I guess you get to do more things but it gets hard sometimes. Trust me if I could go back to your place right now I would-"
"You can take my place right now! I still have to sit in a car seat you know? I don't like it."
I chuckled. Hes cute. "No If we switched lives you would want to go back to yours real quick."
"Why?"
"Well I guess you arent ready if you just randomly became my age and I became yours."
"You right."
The boy finally had to leave leaving me all by myself no where to go no ice cream to feel me better. No jinyoung to comfort me. No yugyeom to annoy the shit out me. No Jackson no jaebeom no mark. I think about if were still friends like that. Probably not.
I sat on the swing again. I'm so tired. But I'm not sleeping at a damn park.
I felt my phone buzz questioning if jinyoung just got out for lunch.
Mom ❤❤
Answer decline
I declined as she called again. You know how awkward it would be if I answered? But I really do want to answer I really want to go home i really do.
I laid my head on the swing chain thing and rested my head on there. Hoping my eyes wouldn't fall asleep. Maybe a small rest wouldnr hurt.
----------------------
I felt buzzing. I'm feeling buzzing.
"Ugh shit..." I looked around the sky looking a little more dimmer.
My phone buzzed again.
I looked at the time it was 4:56pm
I've been here for hours.
I saw yugyeom and jinyoung messages. Goddam.