'I didn't even know when
I lost my heart to you.'
He pointedly opened the door slightly more and I went in. I hardly was able to take in the interiors of the hotel.
Gesturing me to take a seat on the couch, he went on to sit across the table.
All this time, he kept staring at me which made me strangely self conscious. I fidgeted.
"Sam.."I started.
"It's Mr. Clay to you!" He interrupted sharply and I winced.
My spirits took a dive. I barely suppressed a sob. The message was clear.
We weren't close enough to be on first name basis.
It was a mean jab to the heart. I suppressed the rising wave of emotions and reminded myself of the reason I was there.
The school.
*Flashback begins*
Amay leaned back on Sam's chest and stared down at their small village. He loved his village.
It was a small one but it had a few well to do families as well. A few like the Merchants, Sylweths and Wanders even had manors and mansions.
Most of them were scattered on the outer perimeter of the village. They usually kept to themselves and rarely visited the church. So, Amay didn't really know them.
There was a market about an hour's ride ahead from the village and another hour's ride ahead was the town Sam studied in. Amay had only been to the market a few times and he hadn't evn seen the town yet.
He often wondered what school was like. His dad had home schooled him. People reckoned it was due to the fact that he didn't have enough money but Amay knew that it was because his dad loved him too much to part with him.
Sam laid his head on Amay's shoulders and asked him,
"What are you thinking about?"
"I think there should be a school in our village so that people don't have to send their children away from them."
Sam cuddled Amay like a soft toy and kissed his cheek.
Amay yelped.
"We will build one then. You and I, when we have enough money, we will build a school from scratch. It will be huge and you can plant your favourite trees and flowers in it."
"Really?" Amay squealed in delight.
When Sam nodded, Amay turned back to hug him and Samar lost his balance. They fell back on the ground, giggling.
"Ow! You are heavy!" Sam mocked between chuckles.
"I am not!" Amay slapped him lightly and moved to get off him but Sam pulled him back so that Amay's face rested on his chest now.
Amay could hear Sam's heart beating. When Sam's chest rose, Amay would push himself up, trying to match his breathing with Sam's.
"Amay?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you too." Sam said and Amay's heart skipped a beat. No matter how many times Amay heard it, it always made his heart flutter like the first time.
He grinned to himself. He was content lying there, listening to Sam's heart beating. The world could wait.
*Flashback ends*
I took a calming breath and continued.
"Mr. Clay, I...I am here to talk about the school."
"I know why you are here." He cut me off calmly.
He knew? How did he know?
Oh, the officers might have told him.
I looked up at him. The intensity of hatred in his eyes made me shudder.
"Why does a guy like you come to the room of a stranger, late in the night?"
A guy like me?
I decided that I didn't want to hear exactly what kind of guy he thought I was. But,
"A s..stranger?"
How could he say that?
"YES!" He shouted, making me flinch.
"I DON'T KNOW YOU! I NEVER DID! YOU WERE JUST USING ME! YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME! He chuckled darkly at this and then added, "I don't know why was I ever surprised, you didn't even give a damn about your own dad, why would you even--"
"STOP!" a shout escaped me.
"Please! Just stop!" I pleaded, my eyes brimming with tears.
His words hit my psyche like bullets. I never imagined that I will see such hatred for me on his face ever.
He on the other hand appeared to derive a very sick satisfaction from watching me break down. It was so.... so cruel. I furiously wiped my tears away.
"Did I offend you? I am sorry. We veered totally off course. Let's get back to why you came here." He said in mock sympathy.
I sniffed once and started taking out the files from my bag.
"Seduce me." He said in a very deep voice.
I blinked and looked up at him.
"That's why you are here, aren't you?" He beckoned me towards him, "Come on."
My eyes widened in disbelief. "Sam?" I managed to whisper. He only smirked at me.
Just what was he implying?
How could he even think that?
More tears fell from my eyes and I bowed my head. I couldn't deal with it anymore, so with shaking hands and cloudy vision, I started putting the files back in my bag.
I decided to leave but my hands shook and the files fell across the floor.
My tears left hot trails on my cheeks. Without bothering to wipe them, I bent down to pick up the files and winced when my hand was yanked up.
"LOOK AT ME!" He snarled.
Instinctively, I tried to pull my hands back to shield my face and saw that he was staring at my promise ring.
When he noticed me looking at him, his face scrunched up in disgust. He gripped my hand and tried to snatch out the ring harshly.
The ring was a bit struck and wouldn't come off. I whimpered and tried to push him away with my other hand.
Finally, with a hard tug, it came off my finger and I stumbled back.
A sharp corner of the table grazed my left shoulder and tore up my shirt. I groaned in pain as my head hit the floor.
I saw stars, the room became hazy for a moment. It took a few minutes before my head found it's orientation again.
Samar had also fallen but he was standing up looking at the ring in veneration, a souvenir of their shared past.
When he caught me looking at him, the veneration vanished off his face and was replaced with disgust.
"You have no right to wear that, you whore!" He shouted and threw the ring across the room with a grunt.
So bewildered was I with his insensitivity that I could only gape at him.
This was not my Samar. This is not the person I fell in love with. This can't be him. This has to be someone else. My Sam would never----.
My shoulder stung, the ring finger was throbbing, my hands were bruised, my head hurt and I just lay there on the ground, trying to stop myself from breaking down completely.
This pain in my body, I could bear but ache in my heart was way beyond anything I was capable of dealing with. I didn't know how to get rid of it.
I desperately looked at him. What I saw made my insides plummet. There were tears in Sam's eyes. I stared at him, I didn't even remember the last time he cried.
Baffled, I kept looking at him. I didn't sign up for this. All of this.
I--- All I wanted was for him to be safe and then it hit me.
It was because of me. I had made him cry.
My choices had destroyed him emotionally.
For a second, I felt a mad rush of pride for our love. He loved me so much that my absence had unhinged him but then guilt hit me like a speeding truck.
I don't know what he saw in my eyes; pity, guilt or regret but his eyes softened a bit.
A stray tear aimlessly raced down his right cheek.
"Why Amay?" he asked, his voice broken, "why would you do this? Mum says that you were only after our money but I know that she is wrong."
He bent down straddling me and cupped my chin in his hands, "I know you loved me."
*What do you think? Updated on 13/12/20 Voted and comments please!*