[THE WOODS, CAMP GLITTER]
Quinn: *steps out of a bus and grins* Hello and happy summer, everyone! Welcome back to Hamilton Reacts to Stuff! We just arrived at Camp Glitter, and we're ready for some summer fun. Say hi, guys!
Philip and Theo: *run out of the bus and check the place out*
Hamilton: *slowly steps out of the bus, his hand twitching at his side* So... you mean there's no working. Like you were serious about that.
Quinn: Yes, Alex, I was serious about that. This is vacation!
Hamilton: ...Why.
King George: *tiptoes out of the bus, holding the edges of his cape like a dress* Ew. Ew. Ew. There's so much dirt.
Quinn: Yeah, outside's kinda like that.
Washington: *follows King George outside* Perhaps you should have worn some more camping-appropriate clothes, King George. *is wearing jeans, hiking boots, a t-shirt, and a hat*
King George: And dress like a sloppy peasant? I don't think so!
Angelica: *sighs and pushes past him* This isn't my idea of fun, not by a long shot... but maybe it'll end up being nice. Just us, hanging out and playing games.
Quinn: Trust me, you guys are gonna love Camp Glitter. *starts heading towards camp*
Hamilton: How did you even get a camp named after yourself, anyway?
Quinn: I'm the boss. I can do what I want. *hits the whip* Alright, y'all, here are the cabins. *gestures to two cabins* Guys in the one on the left, girls in the one on the right.
King George: You mean we're sharing? Like... like inmates?!
Jefferson: Yes, exactly like inmates.
Quinn: Or like roommates! It all depends on how you look at things. Now, we're gonna have a lot of fun over the next few weeks, but I've got a plan to make things a little more interesting...
Hamilton: Oh God, things are interesting enough.
Quinn: SamBam260 gave me an excellent idea! Over our time together at camp, you guys'll split into pairs. You and your partner will compete against the other pairs in different events to try to earn points. The winning team will become the kings and/or queens of Camp Glitter!
Laurens: Cool!
Jefferson: No.
Madison: Is this mandatory?
Quinn: Sure is!
Hamilton: *sighs* Fine. Laurens, you wanna team up?
Laurens: Sure, man!
Everyone: *starts forming pairs*
Quinn: No, no, no, *chuckles* no. You guys don't get to choose, unfortunately.
Jefferson: What.
Quinn: *grins crazily* I've got the pairings right here! *rolls out a long scroll for them to see*
Hamilton and Jefferson
Herc and Samuel
King George and Washington
Angelica and Burr
Laurens and Eliza
Peggy and Maria
Laff and Madison
Hamilton: *eyes as wide as dinner plates* What... I have to be on a team... with JEFFERSON?
Jefferson: Quinn, you did this on purpose!
Quinn: *smiles innocently* Me? Tommy, my feelings are hurt.
Herc: And there's no way in [bleep!]ing [bleep!] I'm competing with Sammy. He's such a-
Eliza: *glares sharply at*
Herc: OW MY EYE! *falls*
Burr: Out of all the people I could've been partners with, why did it have to be... *looks over at Angelica*
Angelica: *walks past him snootily* Don't make me lose. Okay?
Burr: *shivers*
King George: I am not playing this. It requires too much dirt.
Quinn: Sorry, buddy, but you gotta play.
King George: Hmmm. Well, at least I have a worthy teammate. Next to Washington, you all look small.
Everyone: *shudders*
Hamilton: THAT'S IT I'M GOING HOME. *turns around and tries to head back to the bus*
[The bus zooms away]
Hamilton: [BLEEP!]
Eliza: ALEXANDER!
Maria: *says quietly to Peggy* Well, I guess we're partners. I'll do my best.
Peggy: *grins* We'll do better than that. Those boys are going down.
Philip: *runs over to Quinn* Hey, Quinn... how come me and Theo aren't on any teams?
Quinn: Oh, this is only for the grown-ups. I'm sorry, dude.
Philip: *groans* We never get to do anything fun!
Quinn: Sorry, Pip. But don't worry, because you, Theo, and Susan are gonna get to enjoy everything Camp Glitter has to offer.
Philip: Really?
Quinn: Yeah! In fact, here come your chaperones now!
[ENTER VERONICA AND J.D.]
Eliza: *eyes widen* What-
Veronica: *wearing a blue tank top and black shorts* Hey, Quinn. Wait, did you say chaperones-
Quinn: Hey, you two! Enjoying camp?
Veronica: *smiles* Yeah. We bought our summer clothes and we're going camping, just like we said we would. *swings J.D.'s hand* Now, what was that part about chaperones?
Quinn: Thanks so much for keeping an eye on the kids. *gently brings Philip and Theo to them* They're good kids, you won't even know they're there.
Veronica: You're the worst, Quinn, you know that, right?
Eliza: Wait, J.D. is watching my son?! Can't we talk about this?!
Quinn: They'll be fine. He's a changed man. Besides, Veronica's his permanent chaperone. She'll keep all the children in check.
J.D.: Excuse me?
Quinn: *turns to the Philip and Theo* Why don't you guy check out the pool?
Philip and Theo: POOL! *take off running towards the pool*
Veronica: Wait! Slow down! *grabs Susan by the hand and runs to catch up with them*
J.D.: *glares at everyone before following after Veronica*
Quinn: Yeah, we might see some of our old friends here, and maybe make new friends, too! So, the first thing we'll do at camp is our challenge, and then at night we'll gather by the campfire for s'mores, a review of the scores, and a reaction.
Jefferson: I'm already fearing for my life.
Quinn: gOoD! Now, let's put our stuff away, and then we'll get started!
[Timeskipperoo]
Quinn: Okay, our first challenge is a request from Isabella-Stories:
Madison: They're already laughing at us?
Laurens: What is this "orienteering" business anyway?
Quinn: Well, I myself have never tried it, but from my research, it seems to be part hiking, part scavenger hunt, and part race. So everyone is gonna get a compass, a map, and a punch stick... *hands these out to everyone* And you're each gonna go to a different starting point in the woods. When the game starts, you and your partner are gonna have to work as a team to have to find these different control sites, which are marked on our maps. The controls will look like this: *holds one up*
Quinn: There's a little e-punch machine on top. When you reach one, you're gonna insert your punch stick into machine to mark off that you've reached it. The first team to reach every control site and get to the finish wins! Any questions?
Jefferson: *raises hand* I have one, actually.
Quinn: Yes, Thomas?
Jefferson: What's the point of this?
Quinn: It's fun! And it tests your navigation skills.
Hamilton: Yeah, and that's the last complaint I'm gonna hear from you, Thomas. If we have to do this, we're gonna win, and that won't happen with your garbage attitude.
Jefferson: What are you, my mother all of a sudden?
Quinn: Alright, you guys, enough talk. Let's get orienteering!
[Tiny timeskip]
Quinn: Okay, everyone's at their starts. *yells into a megaphone* EVERYONE READY?!
Everyone: *mixed responses of "YES," "NO," and "WHAT?!"*
Quinn: GO!
Everyone: *takes off*
Quinn: *laughs maniacally* Wow, I feel like Chris from Total Drama... I love it!
[Cut to Hamilton and Jefferson]
Hamilton: *shoves the map into Jefferson's hand* Which way is the first control?
Jefferson: *fumbling with the map* I don't know- northeast!
Hamilton: *takes off running*
Jefferson: Alexander! Wait! *runs after him, huffing*
[Cut to Maria and Eliza]
Peggy: Okay, Mari, I've got the compass. Can you work the map?
Maria: *nods* We're supposed to go... oh, that way. *points in the direction of the control.
Peggy: Perfect! Let's go!
Peggy and Maria: *take off running*
[Cut to Washington and King George]
Washington: I think one of us should hold the map, and the other the compass.
King George: I don't want to hold anything. I'm a king; I shouldn't have to do any work.
Washington: But George, it will be much easier this way. The one with the map will let the one with the compass know where to go, and the one with the compass will guide them there.
King George: Then I am holding the compass. I'm the leader. *swipes the compass from Washington*
Washington: *clenches jaw, but says nothing and looks at the map* We're supposed to go northeast.
King George: *stares at the compass* Northeast, you say...
Washington: Can you find it?
King George: Of course I can find it! I happen to be excellent with compasses! ...Ah, yes, here we are. Northeast! *points in the direction*
King George and Washington: *head in that direction*
Washington: Now, keep your eye on that compass, and make sure that we stay on the right path.
King George: Oh, hush, now. We'll be just fine.
King George and Washington: *head in the direction of the first control*
[Cut to Angelica and Burr]
Burr: I'll hold the compass, Ms. Schuyler, and you can take the map, okay?
Angelica: And just who put you in charge?
Burr: *narrows eyes* No one, but someone has to be.
Angelica: My thoughts exactly. *takes the compass*
Burr: *rolls eyes* Alright, fine... we need to head northeast.
Angelica: *studies compass and looks up in the right direction* Let's go.
Angelica and Burr: *take off for the control*
[Cut to Herc and Samuel]
Samuel: What do you want me to do, Mr. Mulligan?
Herc: *staring at the map* Shut up and keep up. *looks up* 'Kay, I've got it. *takes off*
Samuel: Mr. Mulligan! Wait! *runs after*
[Cut to Laurens and Eliza]
Laurens: Okay, Eliza, you can pick what you want to do first.
Eliza: I'll take the map. *takes the map from John* We should be heading that way. *points*
Laurens: Alright! Let's go! *takes off*
Eliza: John, wait for me! *chuckles and runs to catch up with him*
[Cut to Laff and Madison]
Madison: We need to approach this tactically. I'll hold the compass, you can take the map, and every few minutes we'll do a check to make sure we're going the right direction.
Laff: Can I use the compass? I'm pretty good with these.
Madison: *shrugs* Okay. *looks at map* We need to go this way. *points*
Laff: *takes off with the compass* Haha! AAH! MUD!
Madison: *rolls eyes and follows after him*
Quinn: *sitting in a really tall tree, using binoculars to watch everyone* And they're off! It looks like Peggy and Maria are the closest to the first control, but everyone seems to be on the right track. Who will win? It's anybody's guess!
[Another timeskip brought to you by my pet cactus and succulent.]
Jefferson: We've been walking around forever, and we still haven't found that fourth control. You sure you're using the compass right?
Hamilton: I know for certain that I'm using the compass right.
Jefferson: Lemme see- *tries to rip out of Alex's hand*
Hamilton: Wait! I see it! *points to a control in the distance*
Hamilton and Jefferson: *run over to it*
Jefferson: Wait... This is the fifth control! We skipped one! How did you do that?
Hamilton: We'll just punch this one and go back to it!
Jefferson: You can't punch them out of order, Hamilton! Were you not paying attention at all? *bridges pinch of his nose* How on earth did we skip a control.
Hamilton: Probably because you were feeding me bad information! Some map-reader you are!
Jefferson: Hamilton, I swear, I have half a mind to take off and leave you in the middle of the woods.
Hamilton: Fine! I've got the punch stick! *holds it up smugly*
Jefferson: Good luck finding anything without the map. *runs away*
Hamilton: Thomas! Get back here! THOMAS! *chases after*
[Cut to Angelica and Burr]
Angelica: *running through the woods, dropping her eyes every few seconds to check the compass*
Burr: Ms. Schuyler! We need to go this way! *points*
Angelica: Burr, don't be ridiculous. The control is northwest, so we're going northwest.
Burr: I know, but the map says there's some rough terrain coming up. We'll do better if we go around it.
Angelica: *stops running* Let me see... *checks the map* Looks like some big rocks and uneven ground...
Burr: We could try climbing through it, but I think it'll be safer and easier if we take the long way around.
Angelica: Huh. Pretty smart, Burr. I apologize for the way I treated you before.
Burr: *shrugs modestly* I'm not your enemy, Ms. Schuyler. I want to win just as much as you do... well, maybe not as much as you, you are a fierce competitor.
Angelica: *chuckles* I guess you do have a good idea every once and a while. Lead the way, sir.
Burr: *smiles and heads off*
[Cut to Peggy and Maria]
Peggy: *sticks the punch stick into the machine* Pching! That's another control! We're pretty good at this.
Maria: *chuckles* Yeah, I guess so. I've never done anything like this before, but I really like it.
Peggy: Me too! Where to next?
Maria: Uh... *looks at the map, then looks up and points* That way.
Maria and Peggy: *take off*
[Cut to Herc and Sam]
Samuel: Mr. Mulligan, if I may, perhaps I could be of some assistance-
Herc: *holds up finger* Shhhhhhhhhhh, I got this. That first control oughta be around here somewhere.
Samuel: I don't mean to be a Negative Nancy, sir, but I think we're lost.
Herc: What did I say about unhelpful comments?!
Samuel: *starts to fret* But I thought that one was pretty helpful- *stops himself* No. Sir, if I can stand up to King George, certainly I can stand up to you and your... buffoonery. We are lost, we- we're as lost as the king confronted with a coffee maker! You need my help.
Herc: And just how could you help?
Samuel: *takes the map and studies it* Yes, we are lost. The first control is across the woods that way. *points*
Herc: Well, then let's get a move on! *tries to take the map*
Samuel: *pulls it away from him* I will be doing the map-reading from here on out. *cooly turns on his heel and starts heading in the direction of the control*
Herc: *curses under his breath and follows after Samuel*
[Cut to Laurens and Eliza]
Laurens: *pulls the punch stick out of the machine* Woohoo! We're on fire! Nice map-reading, fake girlfriend! *high-fives Eliza*
Eliza: *giggles* This is pretty fun. And we're almost done, aren't we?
Laurens: Yeah! We've got this in the bag. Which way next?
Eliza: *reads the map* Southwest. *points*
Laurens: Alright, here we go! *takes off running*
Eliza: *runs after him*
[Cut to Laff and Madison]
Laff: *groans* My shoes are filthy.
Madison: Didn't you buy those hiking boots specifically for this trip?
Laff: *nods pathetically* But still...
Madison: *shakes his head* We're getting close to the sixth control. *spots it*
Laff and Madison: *hurry over to it*
Madison: *punches the stick in the machine* Only two more. We need to go this way. *points in the right direction*
Laff: Okay... and then as soon as this is over, I am going to go shower and stay inside for the rest of the day.
Madison: I'm sure Quinn won't allow that. She's all excited about outdoors time and stuff. *sniffs* But I wanna head into the shade, too. My allergies have been crazy ever since I got off the bus. Maybe we'll both get Poison Ivy, and Quinn will let us stay in bed.
Laff: *pales* Poison Ivy?! *le cri* *follows Madison*
[Cut to King George and Washington]
King George: *whines* We've been walking about forever! Why aren't we at the control yet?
Washington: Well, I'm trying to get there, but it's a little difficult when I'm not sure what direction we're going. You haven't been checking the compass.
King George: Well, I keep forgetting. And besides, I'm only doing this as a favor to you because you were too lazy to work the map and the compass.
Washington: We're in teams for a reason, George. We're supposed to work together and help each other. I'm sure I could do both on my own, but you're my teammate. I wanted you to have a job.
King George: You should want me not to have a job. I don't want one.
Washington: But I wanted you to contribute. That way, when we reach the finish, we can say it was a team effort. We worked together to achieve our goal. And besides, you can't always just be pampered and waited on. You won't be happy that way.
King George: It's worked pretty well thus far.
Washington: But nothing is more satisfying than a job well done. You'll see when you actually complete a job.
King George: I could complete a job if I wanted to!
Washington: Let's test that theory. Are you going to be our navigator or not?
King George: ...Fine. *lifts compass* Which way?
Washington: *smiles* We need to go south. Which way are we facing now?
King George: We're going... *looks at compass, then looks up, his eyes widening* Oh. We've been going east this whole time.
Washington: So that means we're a little behind aren't we? But we can catch up. Let's get a move on. *runs ahead*
King George: *grabs his cape with one hand and keeps an eye on the compass with the other as he hurries to catch up to Washington*
[GOSH DARNIT QUINN STOP WITH THE TIMESKIPS]
Quinn: *at the finish* Okay, the orienteering run is coming to a close as some of the teams have found their last control! *squints as she gazes through the woods* And here come our first-placers now! The winners are... Angelica and Aaron!
[ENTER ANGELICA AND BURR]
Burr: *drops his hands to his knees, breathless* We did it.
Angelica: *pants* Not too shabby, Mr. Burr.
Burr: *smiles at her*
Quinn: Nice job, you two! For coming in first place, you guys get 10 points!
Angelica and Burr: *grin*
[ENTER LAURENS AND ELIZA]
Laurens: Aw, man, we didn't win!
Quinn: It's okay, guys. You did great, and you get 5 points for coming in second place.
Angelica: Eliza! Nice job, little sister.
Eliza: *grins sheepishly* Thank you! It was pretty fun. And congratulations to you!
Angelica: *shudders, then smiles weakly*
[ENTER LAFF AND MADISON]
Madison: *falls to his knees, wheezing* *puffs his inhaler* Third place... not bad, Lafayette. *shakes his hand*
Quinn: You guys get three points for your third place.
Laff: *smiles as he breathes heavily* Yay. Now, may I go take a shower? I am very sticky.
Quinn: Sure, go ahead.
Laff: *hurries off to the cabin*
[Everyone else reaches the finish at varying times]
Quinn: Okay, here's the official standings!
1. Angelica and Burr
2. Laurens and Eliza
3. Laff and Madison
4. Peggy and Maria
5. Hamilton and Jefferson
6. Herc and Sam
7. King George and Washington
Quinn: Great job, everyone. What did you think of orienteering and working with your partner?
Hamilton: Atrocious. Jefferson can't read a map to save his life!
Jefferson: Excuse me? We only got lost because you were reading the compass wrong!
Hamilton: And then there's his bad attitude! I knew that would be our downfall!
Hamilton and Jefferson: *bickering*
Quinn: Guys! I brought the timeout chair with me, and if anyone needs it I'm not afraid to send them to it. *points to the timeout chair, which is is sitting in the middle of the woods* Except this time, you'll have to sit there at night, after everyone's in their cabins. Peggy and Maria? What did you think of this challenge?
Peggy: It was really fun! I mean, we didn't win, but I guess that's fine. We'll get back at them next time.
Maria: I really liked this. I love being outdoors, and it's really fun when you find a control.
Peggy: We made a good team, me and Maria. *grins at her*
Maria: *smiles back*
Herc: That was the most boring [bleep!] I've ever done.
Quinn: I saw you guys... struggling. But you still managed to get sixth place, so kudos to you.
Samuel: Thank you, but it was only because I finally got to help.
Herc: How many times are you gonna bring that up? *sighs* But yeah, turns out Farmer's pretty good with a map. I guess that helped.
Samuel: *smiles proudly*
Washington: Well, we didn't win, but I think we put in a good effort. What do you think, King George?
King George: I'm exhausted! *pushes past Quinn and plops down in a lawn chair she had set up for herself*
Washington: How did completing a job feel?
King George: *picks up the water bottle Quinn had left next to the chair and drinks it* You know, I thought it was all stuff and nonsense at first, but then we found all eight of those posts with nothing more than a map and a compass. I still don't understand what the point of it was, but frankly, I'm impressed. I'm so proud of myself.
Washington: *shakes head*
King George: I'm never doing it again, though. I've done it once, I don't need to do it again.
Quinn: Well, great job, everyone. Well, we're all gonna wash up, eat, and just hang around the camp, and we'll see you tonight for the campfire!
[Timeskip brought to you by your beautiful self! Slay, reader, slay!]
[CAMPFIRE, NIGHT]
Quinn: *roasting a marshmallow* Okay, so here we are at the campfire. Veronica and J.D. are here, too.
Veronica and J.D.: *smiling and cuddling while the fire roars*
Quinn: How were the kids, Veronica?
Veronica: Not too bad, actually. They were cool kids. We had a lot of fun in the Arts & Crafts cabin making friendship bracelets.
J.D.: *miserably rolls up his sleeve to reveal friendship bracelets going all the way to his elbow*
Veronica: *nudges playfully* Oh, you know they make you look fabulous.
J.D.: *shrugs* Well, I made an enemy knot. *holds up some braided black thread tied to look like a noose*
Everyone: *stares at him uncomfortably*
Quinn: Anyway, we're gonna do this week's reaction. We waited until the kids were in bed, because this is kinda scary. Uzuraam thought scary stories at the campfire would be a fun idea, and a couple people wanted these guys to react to Snarled, so we're combining the two! For those who don't know, Snarled is a YouTube series that tells scary stories.
Eliza: Oh... I don't like scary stories.
Quinn: Well, this one isn't too scary. I'm not a fan of creepy stuff either. Plus, this one is set in the woods on a camping trip, so it's perfect! It's called, "You Can't Hide From the Lady in the Woods." *presses the remote on a projector*
Samuel: Er- an "encounter?"
Jefferson: It's fine, guys. She said, "inspired." You know what that means? She went camping. Then they added a bunch of crazy stuff and said it was "inspired"by a true story.
King George: I don't think any hiking trail could be more difficult than what we did today. *haughtily shoves a s'more in his mouth*
Laurens: Yesssss go check it out!
Samuel: No, they should just stay in their tent! That sounds so dangerous! Even if there isn't a ghost lady, they could get lost in the dark!
Herc: Sam, sometimes you just gotta abandon your campsite in the middle of the night with no supplies to truly live.
Angelica: Why don't you go try it? *points to the woods*
Herc: Well, not now. There's s'mores here.
Samuel: (when they see the shape of a woman on the path) *yelps* See?! Oh, I knew this was a bad idea!
Eliza: *cuddles close to Alex*
Everyone: (when they see the shape of a woman outside their tent) *gasp and tense up*
Peggy: *screams*
Everyone: *jump in terror and snap their gazes towards Peggy*
Peggy: *cracks up laughing*
Everyone: (at the end) *shiver and look around at each other*
J.D.: *casually eating a marshmallow* That wasn't even scary.
Eliza: *hugging Alex* It was for me...
Hamilton: *holds her close and kisses her head*
King George: I agree with Yellow. It wasn't scary at all.
Angelica: *quickly taps King George's back without him knowing* BAH!
King George: *yelps*
Angelica: *laughs*
King George: TREASON!
Burr: I liked how the story was told. And it's not that scary when you know it's just fiction.
Quinn: Or is it?
Veronica: *wiggles fingers* Ooooooooooooh...
Quinn: So, what do you guys think of your first day at Camp Glitter?
Hamilton: Honestly, not quite as hellish as I had expected, but still very hellish.
Quinn: Oof, I gotta up my game!
Hamilton: *glares*
Quinn: Kidding! Glad you're having at least a little fun.
Eliza: Yeah, this is nice. Just all of us together, playing games and spending time as a family. It's nice to see you away from work.
Hamilton: *shrugs* I've been trying not to think about the work that's piling up for me when I get back... but it makes me happy to see you so happy, and I've loved spending this time with you. *kisses Eliza*
Madison: It has been very relaxing. Except for that asthma-inducing run, but besides that, it is nice to get my mind off of work.
Maria: *smiles* I've seen so many different birds!
Samuel: While this is different than what I'm used to, but I must say, it's quite fun.
Peggy: *raises her marshmallow stick into the air* To Camp Glitter!
Everyone: *raise marshmallow sticks* To Camp Glitter!
Quinn: *smiles at the camera* Thank you guys so much for being with us today. We'll see you next time on Hamilton Reacts to Stuff!