Harry
I stood in front of the big blue door, the door that even after a year still made me tremble with fear. Not because I was scared of the door but more the person who lived behind it. I clutched the vintage ring box that had been in my jacket since we'd come back from Holmes Chapel and found the courage to ring the doorbell.
"Harry! What are you doing here? Is it Jessi? Has something happened?" Danny's voice boomed.
"Hi, Danny. Jessi is fine. Can I come in?" I asked, my nerves buzzed with nervousness and excitement. I knew I didn't need to do this, I mean technically he wasn't actually Jessi's Dad, but he was in the ways that counted and I wanted to do this properly.
"Sure, is everything okay?" He looked concerned as he motioned for me to come inside. I walked along the familiar hallway, lined with pictures of Jess and her Mum, and into the Living Room. "You look like you need a drink." He disappeared into the kitchen as I sat down. I carefully took off my jacket and placed it down beside me, making sure the ring box was still tucked securely in the inside pocket.
"Here you go?" I jumped as Danny tapped my shoulder with the glass of Tequila and ice, he sat down across from me with his Whiskey. "So what's this all about?"
"I - uhm - I -" My words tangled in my mouth. I couldn't get anything out.
"Calm down, Harry. Take a drink." Danny was looking more and more concerned by the second. I took a sip of my drink but it didn't help. I was still terrified.
"So mine and Jessi's anniversary is coming up in a few weeks." I started.
"Yeah. I have to admit I never thought you'd get this far, Rockstar!" He chuckled, the nickname had grown on me since the first time I'd heard it. I knew he didn't mean it nastily.
"Anyway, I have something special planned, that I could use your help with, well not really your help exactly, but I -" I was losing my train of thought again.
"Do you want to use the Ace? You know I don't have a problem with that, Son." I took another sip of my drink and tried again. The fact that he just called me son, gave me a lump in my throat.
"No, I don't need to use the Ace. I know Jess is really important to you and you are really special to her, you're more or less -"
"She's like a daughter to me, Harry. I love that girl with all my heart and I know I give you a hard time sometimes but I really am glad she found you. She's been the happiest I've ever seen her this past year, and it's all your doing. For a while there I worried she'd never be the same after her Mum died but you put her heart back together." Danny was welling up, and it surprised me, I'd never seen him this emotional before.
"That means a lot, really, I don't know what to say. The reason I'm here is I want to ask your permission -" I paused as Danny suddenly stood up. My entire body tensed and I closed my eyes waiting for him to smack me or throw me out his house but instead he hugged me, pulling me up out of my chair.
"You want my permission to marry Jess?" He let me go and, wiped away a tear that had rolled down his cheek before coughing to clear his throat.
"Yes. That is exactly why I'm here, well to get your permission to ask her, she has to say yes first." I felt myself welling up too.
"She will. She's crazy about you. Have you bought the ring yet?" Danny grinned. My hands were shaking as I tried to prize the box from its hiding place. I handed it over and chuckled as Danny's giant hands struggled to undo the tiny latch, I undid it for him and watched as his eyes widened when he lifted the lid.
"You did good kid, she'll love it." I was glad he thought so. I'd agonised over it for ages. I'd spotted the diamond first, it was grey but so fluid looking, like clouds reflected in crystal clear water. And I knew Jess would appreciate the beauty in its imperfection. I also couldn't resist adding a little flair, after all I feel like such an important piece of jewellery should reflect both of us. It made me happy that it was one of a kind, unique, just like Jessi.
-----
I left Danny's a little drunk. I stumbled into the car and was surprised to find Matt there. I didn't really need security at Danny's house.
"Are you drunk?" He asked. "Where's Jess?"
"She's out. I had a few drinks, we were celele - celele - celebrating." I finally got the word out.
"Celebrating what? Doesn't he hate you?" Matt sneered or maybe I was just imagining it.
"Apparently not, he gave me prsimon -" OK. Maybe I was more drunk than I thought.
"He gave you what?" Matt scoffed.
"He said I could ass Jess, no not ass, he said I could ask Jess to marry me!" I chuckled, leaning my head against the window. My mind wandering to thoughts about Jessi's ass, I wish I could head home and climb into bed with her but she probably wouldn't be home yet. Her, Gem and Lori made for a lethal combination.
"WHAT?!" Matt exclaimed.
"I'm going to ask Jess to marry me." My heart was racing and I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. Whatever Matt was ranting about was going in one ear and out the other.
-----
Jessi
I unlocked the door to my old apartment and kicked off my shoes. Girl's Night had tired me out. Gemma and Lori had dragged me to three different clubs, each one the same as the last. Sleazy guys, too hot and too crowded. I'd definitely been a party pooper, but I just hadn't been in the mood. I had to be up early for a meeting tomorrow. I glanced at my watch, correction; I had to be up in four hours. I carelessly got undressed as I headed towards my bed and couldn't stop a smile covering my face as I spotted the familiar body sprawled across it. Harry wasn't supposed to be here, he was supposed to be in our apartment since he'd be working late at the studio and I had to be up early. We still spent a lot of our time here, neither of us could bear to let go of my little studio apartment. It was our safe haven from the world. I climbed into bed beside him. A sigh leaving my lips as the warmth from his body soaked into my skin.
"Hey, what you doing here?" He mumbled, his hands grasping at my body, I could smell the alcohol on his breath or maybe that was mine.
"I could ask you the same, aren't you supposed to be in Tribeca?" I placed a kiss on his lips as he wrapped his arms around me. He lifted his head and looked around and I took my chance to roll over so my back pressed against his front. I needed to be the little spoon, for his hands to erase the drunken, groping hands from earlier.
"Hmm... feels like home to me." He whispered, his hand sliding down my stomach. He paused, his large hand just resting between my thighs and my breathing quickened. I was getting so turned on and he hadn't even touched me yet.
"Harry..." I begged, shoving my arse back into his erection.
"What do you want, Baby?" He groaned, kissing just beneath my ear, making me moan.
"I want you to make me cum all over your fingers." I groaned. My body tingled as he slowly started to rub my clit through my pants. He knew me back to front and inside out, nobody could make me feel as needy as he could. Maybe I should get these fingers insured? I chuckled at the thought.
"What's funny?" He pulled down my pants and quickly returned to my clit, his fingers slowly moving from side to side felt so good. I shook my head, unable to answer his question. The way he had my hips rocking into his hand had me grinding my arse into him, the little moans it forced from his mouth sent jolts of pleasure surging through my body.
"Fuck, baby! That feels awesome." Harry moaned as his middle finger circled my entrance. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to suppress a moan as he slowly slid it inside me.
"More." I begged, and he quickly added another finger, slowly sliding them in and out while he continued teasing my clit. My arse pushed against him harder while his free hand danced towards my breasts, his fingers rubbing my nipple through the thin fabric of my bra. He suddenly let out a guttural moan which in combination with his assault on my senses had my breath catching in my throat.
"You feel so good." He moaned against my neck before placing wet, hungry kisses there. His fingers were moving much faster now, curling flawlessly inside me and I couldn't think straight, my hips rocking to their own rhythm.
"Harry - I - Fuck!" I exclaimed, pleasure taking over my entire body until I was just a quivering mess in Harry's arms.
"Fuck!" Harry breathed against my neck and the sticky wetness, trickling on my back told me he needed no further help. My breathing was still uneven, but I needed his kiss so I rolled us over and pinned him to the bed, kissing him with all the passion I could summons.
"Wow!" He grinned when I eventually released him.
"I'm so glad you're not in Tribeca." I smiled.
"Not as glad as I am." He grinned, pulling me down for another kiss.
-----
My alarm was beeping, I quickly turned it off, not wanting to wake Harry. I got up and jumped in the shower, my nerves were swirling around in my stomach. I was headed for an interview at work for a field photographer position at the Columbia office in New York. I had to do an interview then a presentation of some of my portfolio and finally we'd have to take some photos on location; I think we were going to a gig, but I wasn't sure. I let the water run down my body, hoping it would help me relax but it wasn't working. This job was my plan for the future after I graduate in a month. I didn't really have a backup plan; I wanted this so badly.
Harry was convinced I would get it but he always had a crazy amount of faith in me, it was kind of nice but it got a little frustrating that he wouldn't even let me discuss the possibility of me not getting the job. I finished washing and shuddered as the after shower chill got me. I wrapped myself up in a fluffy pink towel and made my way to the wardrobe. A rattling noise from outside startled me so I decided to go investigate. As I got closer to the window, I could hear voices talking loudly and arguing too. Christ! It was 6am, what could people be fighting about at this hour? I pulled back the curtain and my heart stopped. Their cameras clicked away and I felt paralysed. I couldn't move. How did they find us here? Not here. This is where I feel safe. This is where we are safe.
"Harry!" I yelled. "Harry!"
"What? Baby? What's wrong?" Harry jumped out of bed and pulled back the curtain before quickly closing it again.
"How the fuck did they find us here?" He pulled me back from the window, his arms hugging me to his body.
"Not here Harry. I don't want them here. They already know about the house in Tribeca, LA, London. This is our place. This is home. Make them go away Harry!" I rambled but the thought of them infiltrating this sacred space terrified me.
"Jess, look at me! It'll be OK. We'll just stay at the Tribeca apartment for a little bit, when they don't find us here they'll forget about it! I'd hoped we were past this, they've left us alone ever since you were here last." Harry soothed, his green eyes piercing mine. My heart was still racing. I didn't want them here. "Baby, you okay?" He held me tight.
"I'm OK." I lied but there was nothing either of us could do about it, this was just another place where I was no longer safe. How much more of my life did they want? I didn't have much left to give them. Harry talks about keeping things for yourself but that was easy for him to say, he didn't have people on TV, telling the whole world about the worst moment of his life. He didn't have people wishing him dead. He didn't have people camped outside the one place that had felt like home, that had become a safety bubble between him and the rest of the world. This apartment was the last line in my defenses and now it was about to be breached and to be honest, it pissed me the fuck off. I took a few deep breaths and continued to get ready, doing my best to pretend they weren't there. I didn't have to deal with them yet.
I looked in the mirror. I'd done my makeup the way Lori had showed me and my hair was up in a high ponytail. I think I looked okay. Professional. I walked into the bedroom to sort out my bag and Harry whistled at me.
"You look amazing, Baby." He grinned.
"Harry, I'm so nervous. I think I might throw up." I confessed, my hands were shaking.
"Don't worry. You'll be great. Just do what you always do and it'll be a walk in the park. You got everything?" He asked, eager to help.
"I think so." I sighed, realising it was almost time to fight through the paparazzi. You'd think I'd be getting used to it by now but the way they swarmed around me like a pack of wolves hunting their prey terrified me beyond belief.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Harry asked, squeezing my hand in his. I wanted so much to say yes but I needed to learn to deal with this on my own. My phone buzzed, letting me know Jo & Matt were outside.
"No. I'll be okay. Besides, if you come they're more likely to follow us." I forced a smile.
"OK. If you're sure. I'll see you at home later. Good Luck! Even although you don't need it." He pulled me into a kiss and for a moment all my worries were gone. I opened the door to my apartment, and the noise was deafening. Come on Jess, you can do this. Keep your head down and just keep walking. I opened the main door and was relieved that Matt had them under some sort of control. There was space for me to walk and then the yelling started.
"Where's Harry?"
"Did he buy this house for you?"
"How did you cut your head?"
"Is your top Gucci?"
I pulled the car door closed and wasn't in the least bit surprised to find them following us.
"Are you okay?" Matt asked.
"No. I'm fucking pissed. Why can't they just leave us alone? I thought they'd got bored with us." I sighed.
"It was probably your injury that got them interested. Harry should take better care of you." Matt replied.
"Fuck off, Matt! I'm not a child." I snapped. I wasn't in the mood for his attitude. He mumbled something under his breath but I couldn't hear what it was and I didn't care to find out.
-----
I flung open our apartment door, anger and frustration coursing through my entire body. The Paparazzi had followed me all day, making an absolute mockery of my interview. The show we had to photograph was outdoors, so that quickly became a nightmare. Justin said not to worry but I couldn't help it, I would never get this job now.
"Harry?" I yelled and was met with silence. My heart sank into my stomach, why wasn't he here? I dropped all my stuff at the door and slammed it closed, my eyes settling on the white paper on the kitchen counter. My feet thudded angrily against the floor as I walked towards it. I snatched it up and began to read as fast as I could.
Hey Baby,
Sorry, I'm not there. Last-minute meeting with Jeffrey. You should probably make yourself something for dinner, I'll grab something while I'm out.
Can't wait to hear all about your interview.
Love you,
Harry
Kisses and hearts took up the rest of the page but even that didn't ease my mood. Did he really have to go for a meeting with Jeffrey right now? I scrunched up the paper and threw it in the bin's direction. I stomped towards the bedroom and threw myself down on the bed like a sulking teenager. I banged my fists into the mattress over and over until my anger gave way to the tears. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged my arms around them. I wished with all my heart I could go back to being a secret. This is what I get for letting my heart rule my head.
-----
"Jessi?" I called out into the dark apartment, the door swinging closed behind me. Maybe she'd gone out? I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked my messages but the last thing Jess had sent was a text saying she was on her way home. I turned back towards the door to toe off my boots and leave them in their spot beside Jessi's but spotted all her stuff abandoned by the door. She never left her work stuff by the door. I scooped it up and carried it into the office we shared, sitting it down in her desk chair. She must have gone to bed already, so I headed there next. I guess it was past 11, and she'd been up pretty early.
I walked into the bedroom and let out a sigh when I spotted her curled up on the bed, still fully clothed. I bet she hadn't even eaten. "Jess?" I said softly, my hand gently squeezing her foot.
"Leave me alone." She grumbled like a baby.
"Hey, come on sleepy head! Have you had anything to eat?" I rubbed my thumb along the arch of her foot, trying to encourage some life into her so I could make her eat.
"Not hungry." She sniffled and pulled her foot out of my grasp.
"Hey Baby, are you crying? What's happened?" I asked clambering onto the bed and lying down beside her. She didn't answer so I wrapped my arms around her and kept talking, "Jeffrey says hello!"
"Fucking Jeffrey!" She mumbled under her breath.
"Hey, what's Jeffrey done?" I chuckled. Man! She was grumpy tonight.
"How was your meeting?" She scoffed.
"Yeah good. Look, I'm sorry I had to leave. It was Alessandro, we were supposed to meet next week, but he was in town so... made sense to see him now."
"Why do you bother planning anything? I mean what is the point of your schedule if it changes every fucking day on a whim. How am I supposed to arrange anything?" She yelled.
"What do you want to arrange?"
"Nothing but that's not the point, Harry."
"Well, what the hell is the point, Jessi? Because I have no fucking clue what's going on here." I sat up on the bed and looked down at her as she started sobbing again. I sighed and stared at the ceiling, her sobs disappearing into a deafening silence.
"I don't - this isn't my life anymore, Harry. I'm not in control of anything, it's all just happening around about me and I can't handle it. I can't leave the house when I want and when I do, I have to mobilise a small army and even then I have to navigate an angry mob of people yelling insults and insane questions at me. They follow me to school, they follow me to work, they made my interview today an absolute nightmare. People who don't like me suddenly want to be my friend. My Inbox is full of a million emails all asking me stupid questions, wanting me to answer some questions for them. I have requests to endorse all sorts of nonsense and for each of them I delete, five more turn up. I missed an email from school because it got lost in the sea of shit! My Social Media for my photography is an absolute shambles, the comments full of people praising me because I'm your girlfriend or hating me for the same reason. I don't understand how you do it because I don't - I need you to be honest, is this just what it'll be like, forever? Because I don't think I can do it, Harry." She sat up to look at me and I felt like my heart was deflating, whooshing around the room like a balloon when somebody lets the end go.
"Jessi, I swear it's not always like this. I'm doing everything I can to stop the Paparazzi, I'm taking them to court to stop them waiting outside our houses and to ban them from following us once they spot us. Helen is still looking for a leak. And I thought it was working until this morning. I don't know what happened." I held my arms out towards her but she didn't move, I swear I could see her building up the walls in her mind, shutting me out. "Please, Jessi?" I begged, my fingers wrapping around her upper arm. She still didn't move, so I kept on talking. She couldn't shut out my voice. "Jeffrey can help you with all the other stuff, show you how to organise your emails... Please, just talk to me? Baby?" Still nothing but the silence so I closed my eyes in some pathetic attempt to stop the tears from falling.
I gasped when I felt her fingers brush the tears from my cheeks but more quickly replaced them. "Please don't cry." Her voice sounded loud in my ears and she climbed into my lap. My arms automatically wrapped around her, holding her as tight as I could manage. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" she paused and took a deep breath, "actually, if I'm being honest I think part of me was trying to hurt you, I had a shitty day and I was looking forward to coming home to you and you weren't here. It pissed me off." She twirled her finger around my air.
"I can understand that. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best decision. Do you want to tell me about your interview now, while I make you something to eat?" My heart inflated in my chest as she nodded her head but the fear of losing her still swirled in my head, that had been way too close for comfort. I needed to speak to Jeffrey in the morning, the sooner I cut ties with Modest the better, it was the easiest way to lose whichever arsehole was selling us out.