I thought I was fine with the whole ordeal, but Monday morning came and I couldn't focus in class. That realization smacked me in the face when Mr. Woo asked me a question and that was the second I noticed we were in his class. That a whole period had already gone by and my notebook was completely blank. Not even doodles were on it. My face burned scarlet at the looks I got.
I'd never zoned out of class that much.
An hour before lunch and I couldn't take it anymore. I asked Mr. Woo for a pass to go to the restroom, and even though I'd let him down earlier, I was still one of his favorites. He opened the desk drawer and pulled out the massive hall pass that our school used. It was the ugliest piece of wood that had been decorated by an elf that barfed glitter and paint splotches on it, and we were supposed to hang it around our necks like cattle. Presumably because it had to be visible from afar.
"Everything okay, Rory? You look kinda pale," he asked, concern creasing his brow. It warmed my heart and I offered him a smile.
"It's not my best day, but I'll be fine."
Those words echoed in my mind as I made my way to the girls' restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and, yep, despite my soft brown skin, I really was pale. I put the hall pass on the sink next to mine and opened the faucet. Hopefully some cool water would snap me out of the trance.
Thing was, I started the school year with a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I hated it. Nothing justified it. When I thought about it, everything had been going fine. Mama and papa were as usual. Toni was at college, no doubt kicking ass. My friends were awesome, Courtney enjoyed life like I knew no one else did and Lina and her boyfriend, Matt, were seriously considering moving together after high school. The only thing I could think of that really mattered to me and would devastate me if it didn't go well, was my college applications. Since, you know, my entire future hung upon them and all that. I poured all my worry on it and all my frustration on Mr. Davies.
I didn't realize that something that was so completely out of my control, like Toni getting freaking pregnant and causing a huge chasm in our family, was what my bad feeling had been all about.
Things went really bad that night after Courtney left and papa came back. Words I never thought I'd hear were volleyed between him and Toni. Toni. She who had been the ever obedient, smiling child. Papa threatened with kicking her out of the family. Mama called that back immediately after, in tears. I was so afraid for my sister, all of a sudden. I never in my life would've seen things evolving in this direction.
And at the same time, what did that mean for me? If I misstepped, if I did something papa didn't like, would he do the same thing to me? Would he rather be considered a man without children, rather than a man with imperfect daughters?
The eyes reflected back at me welled up with tears. I opened the faucet again and splashed so much water on my face that half of my hair grew damp. I took two deep breaths. Then another one.
"We're gonna be fine," I told myself. I had to get myself together.
I ran my hand through my hair, to spread out the wetness so that I wouldn't look like someone dunked my head in a toilet. I had good hair, with body and not frizzy, and I looked just fine in a second. I grabbed the hall pass, but it was so big and clunky that it slammed against the faucet and I ended up dropping it. On the floor. Let me rephrase that: on the very gross floor.
I bent down and picked it up with the tips of my fingers, trying not to question the origins of the weird stain it'd landed on. And then I saw a scribble on the wall, right under the sink.
For a good time, call Sawyer Logan at (407)...
My jaw dropped. I even dropped the hall pass again.
"Holy-" I stopped myself before I could curse. I knew his reputation through the grapevine, and also through the fact that he just never seemed to care about anything. How freaked out would he be if some randos started texting or calling him with weird propositions? I knew I'd be. Problem was I hadn't brought a pen or a marker with me, and much as I'd hate to contribute to the wall of graffiti, I'd feel even worse if I ignored it. I'd have to come back during lunch and do the deed.
I set that aside in my mind and straightened up. I was going to call Toni and check up on her after school to see how she was doing. I wondered if she'd develop any symptoms. I wondered if she had at least somebody on her corner.
Calmness washed over me after that, now that I had some semblance of a plan. I'd start out with that. After a while I was going to try to appeal to mama, because surely she also wanted to be involved. I resolved to avoid the topic with papa as much as possible.
A loud crashing sound stopped me on my tracks. I looked around, but the hallway was completely empty. And then the sound came again and I turned to it. It came from behind the boys' restroom door. I waited. When no more noise came for a few seconds, I kept walking. After all, nothing that was going on in there was any of my business.
But then I heard a scream. Not the kind that came from pain, but the one that came from really deep, bone seated anger. Which, depending on how you wanted to look at it, was kind of the same.
I hesitated, rooted to my spot. Was this really something I wanted to get involved in?
Heck no.
I kept going. And then there was the crashing sound again.
I pivoted and knocked on the door. "Hello?" All sounds stopped for a second. "Is everything okay in there?"
I thought no one would respond, but a moment later a voice rang out with, "Go away."
The voice was familiar. If I heard it again I might just be able to tell who it was.
"Are you sure?"
A strange sound. Like gurgling.
"I'm coming in," I surprised myself saying. My hand trembled as I pushed the door open. Whatever I might have expected to see, it wasn't what I saw.
Taylor Banks and Sawyer Logan, standing five feet apart, even though it was clear as day they'd been beating each other to pulps.
I looked from one to the other. Taylor was already developing a black eye and Sawyer had a split lip. Though how he could literally grin through the pain, I had no idea.
Sawyer clicked his tongue. "Check that out, Banks. Looks like you're in trouble."
I whipped my attention to him. "And you're not? Did he put that black eye on himself?"
He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. "The difference is that I'm not some star jock."
"Rory," Taylor said, ignoring the other guy now that they seemed to have lost steam. "You won't tell anybody, will you?"
I snorted and folded my arms. "Are you kidding me? You did give him a split lip. Or did he do that by himself?"
"Shit," he said as he ran his hand through his hair, casting a glare at the other boy.
"Ugh, boys are so dumb," I said, shaking my head at them. I turned to leave, thinking I'd go find Mr. Davies for this, when I was yanked by my arm.
"Please," Taylor looked down at me with a frown. "No one needs to know, right?"
His grip was actually kinda painful. I tried to pry his fingers open but he just squeezed harder. I looked up with wide eyes. Was he threatening me?
And then suddenly he flew backwards and landed on his butt. Sawyer stood between us, his back to me as he looked down at the other boy.
"Hey, I can take it but leave the princess alone, asshole."
I cringed so hard at his stupid nickname that it took me a moment to realize my heart was beating so fast it was about to trot out of my ribcage. Taylor really scared me for a second there.
"I'm telling the teachers," I said, and scrambled outside before any of them could react. I clutched the nasty hall pass to my chest as I careened down the hallway, braking to a screeching halt outside of Mr. Davies' office. I knocked on the door and heard his voice, but couldn't distinguish the words with the roaring in my ears. I just knocked again until he opened.
"Rory?" he startled at my appearance. "What's going on?"
"Taylor Banks and Sawyer Logan were fighting in the south corridor boys' restroom," I said this in one rushed breath and I had to repeat myself for clarity.
I stayed rooted to the spot and watched him go. A few minutes later he came back, escorting both boys to the principal's office. Taylor stopped glaring at Sawyer for a second to regale me with a truly nasty look. I hoped this wouldn't get me in trouble somehow. But if it did, I knew Mr. Davies would put two and two together. Those were the perks of being a teacher's pet.
And then the craziest thing happened. Sawyer stopped in front of me, grey eyes scanning me up and down, a lock of his long, blond hair obscuring one of his eyes as they set on my arm. The one Taylor had seized. Then he asked me, "Are you okay?"
My lungs stopped working. My body was overtaken by the most curious tingles.
I snapped my mouth closed and nodded. They kept walking.
Reader, I was not okay.
you:
me: