spring is empty
it has not brought about growth and positive change and good energy.
it has not brought me insight into myself and certainly has not moved me toward the person i'd like to believe i am.
no, spring has brought many realizations
all of them painful
it has brought long lost tears
dug up old feelings
sunflower fields overturned in autumn.
choppy waves that reek of sewage waste
in the aftermath of a winter storm.
a broken bone in the fall
left unattended
to cause a limp in the spring
of my step.
a scab
picked to blood
each time it tries to heal.
spring has brought discomfort.
a strange middle ground
not dark enough to call depression
yet too calm to name anxiety
a middle ground on which i stand
safely observing the seasonal change.
keeping it not only at arm's length but
out of sight.
out of mind
i drift