"Can't even get drunk." Spike picked up another small bottle of whiskey. "Why would anyone ever make a bottle this small? It's inhuman." Angel was still silent and unmoving in his seat with that look of deep thought and sorrow on his face. "Thousands would have died if we'd saved her."
"....Yeah." Angel responded barely over a whisper.
"She wouldn't have wanted that."
"Yeah." The brunette sighed. "Tried calling Wes. There's no answer."
"Guess she's gone then." Spike mumbled, and I had to swallow the lump forming in my throat. "It's like a bloody tease. It's, like, here's what a bottle of Jack would look like if you actually had one. Or here's a drink, but it's very far away."
"What does that mean? Really?"
"It's a play on perspective."
"Gone. What-What does it mean, that she's gone?"
"Well, in the world of men, a person dies, they stay that way."
"Unless you're a vampire."
"Or a ghost of one that saved the world."
"Or Buffy. Death doesn't have to be the end, not in our world. Rules can be broken. All you have to do is push hard enough."
"Don't get your hopes up too high, Angel." I spoke up for the first time since leaving the Deeper Well. "Some things....just can't be done. We don't know if this is one of them." Getting up, I went back to where Spike was by the table of tiny booze bottles and sat down beside him. Pulling my legs up into the seat, I rested my head on the blond's shoulder.
He shifted, raising his arm to wrap it around me while I curled up closer to his side. Spike ran his fingers through my hair in a comforting manner as my tail wrapped around my feet, and I tried not to cry. His chest rose and fell as he sighed through his nose before I felt his cheek resting on my head.
Fred was gone. Fred.
~
"So that's it? England was a bust?" Gunn questioned.
"Not entirely. We found out where the sarcophagus came from. There were thousands of 'em." Angel stated while pacing by the windows.
"Minus one."
"What about this Drogyn character? He couldn't help?"
"He couldn't. We were too late."
"I should have seen it." Lorne mumbled. "Knox. He sang for me, and I should have seen it."
"It's not your fault."
"If I had concentrated harder, read him better, maybe Fred-"
"There's a lot we might have done starting with never coming to Wolfram & Hart in the first place. We can beat ourselves up over it later, but right now-"
"Sorry, Angelcakes. I-I got nothin'. I'm sorry." Lorne got up while shaking his head before walking away.
"Lorne-"
"No, let him go." Spike told Angel. "If he's doubting himself, he won't be any good to us."
"Lorne's right. We should have seen this coming."
"Wouldn't have made a difference. Drogyn said the sarcophagus was preordained to be released. Nothing could have stopped it from arriving."
"....That's not completely true." Gunn said softly from where he stood with his back to us. "I played a round of Piñata with lab boy while you were gone. The sarcophagus was stuck in Customs, and it should have stayed there, but someone got it out."
"Who?" I slammed my hands onto the table while baring my teeth, and Gunn jolted from the unexpected action. "Knox have a partner?"
"I'm-I'm working on it."
"Oh. You're working on it. Good for you, Charles. Not a moment to lose." Wesley spoke with thick sarcasm.
"Wes. I know you're hurting. Keep your footing. I need you sharp, all of you, for Fred's sake."
"There's no Fred anymore."
"You don't know that."
"I watched it gut her from the inside out. Everything she was is gone. There is nothing left but a shell."
"Then we'll figure out a way to fill it back up."
"The thing only took over her body. Just the tip of the theological." Spike waved his hand.
"It's the soul that matters." Angel added.
"Trust us. We're kind of experts."
"What about her- if her organs have been liquefied?" Gunn asked.
"Flash fried in a pillar of fire, saving the world." The bleached-blond raised his hand and shrugged. "I got better."
"You really believe there's a chance of bringing her back?"
"Fred's soul is out there. Somewhere. We'll find it, we'll put it back where it belongs. Then we'll make every son-of-a-bitch that had a hand in this pay." Angel got to his feet, but my gaze lowered to the table in front of me.
"I'm only saying this from experience....but what if she's in Heaven? Or a place similar to it?" The room went quiet, and I glanced around at them. "Coming back here from that took a long time to recover from."
"We'll help her through it. It wasn't her time yet- she deserves to live her life." Wesley pointed at the ground before turning to Angel. "Where do we start?"
"With the big guns."
"Willow."
"Won't be the first time she rattled the dead. Last time I heard, she was in South America." Spike stated.
"We'll track her down and get her here as soon as we can. In the meantime, we need to contain Illyria. Wes, you're the only one who had contact. Any ideas where she's headed?"
"No."
"Even if we find Illyria, how do you plan on dealing with it?" I questioned. "The Old Ones are pure demons, powerful- they make a Turok Han look like a chihuahua." The guys glanced at each other before looking at me. "What?"
"Aud....you're the strongest one among us. You may not be a pure demon, but you should be just enough to capture Illyria with our help."
~
"Told you guns wouldn't work." I said while hunched over the table.
"Look, it was worth a try before making you go in." Angel huffed while taking a blade off of the wall behind his desk.
"Back in the lab, she was standing right there in front of me but there was no scent, nothing. It was like she wasn't even there." Spike stated, putting his hands on his hips as I tossed back my head and chugged the contents of the bottle.
"I know."
"Look I want Fred back as much as any of us, but seeing her there like that- Maybe she really is-"
"No." I slammed the bottle down, briefly pausing in scarfing down the food on the table in front of me. "I'm going to get Illyria, and we're all going to get Fred back. A-A soul is a soul. If I can be brought back, she can be brought back."
~
"It's her temple." Wesley stated while setting down the opened book. It was only Angel, Spike, and I that stood by him seeing as Gunn was currently in medical after Wesley had stabbed him when discovering his involvement in the sarcophagus getting into Wolfram & Hart. "This is where she was supposed to be resurrected."
"That's Illyria?"
"In its native form."
"What are these smaller bits?" Spike questioned while pointing at the illustration in the book.
"Her army of doom."
"There's a shock."
"They were entombed with her. Waiting for her return."
"To Los Angeles?"
"This is where her temple was millions of years ago, and it's still here."
"I think I would've remembered seeing something like this parked next to the Ralph's." Angel popped off.
"It's out of phase with our time stream. Only Illyria can open the gateway."
"Any idea how we stop her?"
"I think that's where I come in. I was prepping for a hard capture, but if I have to take Illyria out....so be it."
~
Watching them fight Illyria after Wesley had killed Knox, I was studying the demon's movements to figure out if there was a pattern. If I could find a pattern and one-up it, it'd make my task not as difficult as it was now. It took everything I had to not just jump out there, but this had to be done.
There was little chance just the three of them could take her. However, I had to obey the plan. They were counting on me.
"Unimpressive." Illyria said after throwing Angel and Spike to opposite sides of the room, then tossed down their swords it had taken from them. Taking in a deep breath, I stepped off the ledge I stood on and landed right in front of the demon that looked like Fred. In almost every way, it looked like her other than the blue streaks in her hair, the icy blue eyes, and the blue tint to her lips and sections of her skin.
"I guess that means it's my turn." My tail twitched, and Illyria's eyes widened a fraction.
"Ardor? You're still alive?" Her head cocked to the side and her brows furrowed. "....No. No, you're not Ardor. You're....wrong."
"I don't know who you're talking about," I tossed off my jacket and forced the fire on my scalp to spread. "but I'm definitely not Ardor." I could feel the heat rising, and my nose twitched with the scent of burning fabrics. Illyria's face became serious before I bared my teeth and ran for the demon.
We clashed with me in the offensive position as I didn't give Illyria the chance to stop blocking my attacks. There was no stable rhythm to our movements, it was just fluid and ever-changing until Illyria waved a hand.
From the corner of my eye, I saw the others going in slow motion, and even my own movements were slower. Illyria took the chance and punched me in the gut. I flew back, but my claws digging into the floor tiles stopped me after I had gone a few feet. Growling, I could feel my muscles straining to keep my speed up to keep in time with Illyria.
"I see you are very similar to Ardor, but you reek of humanity. A dirty halfbreed."
"Yeah, well, this dirty halfbreed is about to kick your ass." Slamming my hands on the floor, fire spread across the tiles and made direct headway to Illyria. The demon jumped out of the way, rolling to the side to avoid the flames before I pounced.
My fists connected heavily, but my touch didn't spread the fire on my skin to Illyria, and I didn't know why. It was either due to Illyria being an Old One or time being slowed affecting it.
I was thrown back, hitting a wall before the floor, and my tail twitched. Pushing myself up, I broke the tiles under my feet before lunging at the demon once more. Illyria was faster, blocking my fists and kicks with smooth motions and steps. My tail wrapped around a leg and I spun on my heel before throwing Illyria into a wall.
Time went back to normal, but I hadn't even noticed as I was still pushing myself to keep my speed to the max. Illyria stood and raised a hand, opening a portal and walking straight for it. Roaring, I tackled Illyria, but we both tumbled through to the other side, crashing into the temple.
I groaned after I was swung into a column, breaking through the solid, thick rock.
"You're too late." Illyria declared, already walking up the stairs as I was trying to stand. "My army will rise. This world will be mine once again."
"I....I can't let you do that." I panted, feeling how my entire body ached.
"I don't need your permission, mutt." Illyria reached the top of the stairs, and I saw the demon pause. "No. It can't be." Hurrying up the stairs, I saw Illyria on its knees before the crumbled remains of a statue. "It's gone. My world....is gone." From where I stood I could see nothing but ruins and dust. Time had touched this place and had been unkind.
Finally reaching my limit as Illyria had seemingly given up, my flames flickered out, and I was left standing there beside the demon.
"You may be able to slow time, Illyria, but nothing can avoid it in this realm." Those unnaturally blue eyes looked at me, and Illyria was suddenly gone, and a portal was open behind me.
~
"No army of doom scorchin' the Earth. Huzzah for our side." Spike raised his hand in sarcastic victory.
"We need to close the gateway to Illyria's temple. Permanently." Angel stated. "I don't want any more surprises."
"What about the leather queen?"
"She still has enough juice to be a threat."
"Enough juice that I couldn't even kick her ass." I sighed, feeling so exhausted I might just faceplant on the floor and sleep for a week.
"We regroup, and we take care of it. Wes?"
"It's all we can do. ....I'll be in the lab."
"Long day." Spike sniffed. "That offer still good? Send us abroad, roving agent and all?"
"Yeah, it's still good."
"Great. Maybe you should send Gunn....before Wes has another poke."
"You're not leaving?"
"It's what she would have wanted." Spike paused. "It's what I want." The blond got to his feet while looking at Angel. "I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important....what's happenin' here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's coming, Angel. We can feel it. And it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illyria. Things are gonna get ugly." He gave a sad smile. "That's where I live."
~
It was now that it was final that Fred was and would forever be gone and that I wasn't fighting that I broke down. I was crying, exhausted, and hurting in more ways than one while curled up there in the dark. Unlike before, I didn't have to bawl my eyes out in the dark alone. Spike was holding me, also grieving the lost friend as I had my face buried in his chest.
He wouldn't lie and tell me everything would be okay, he was just quiet, letting me cry and mourn.