Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. - Marianne Williamson
Morgan
I woke up from my sleep suddenly thirsty. It always been like this, my sleeping schedule wasn't the best so i'll wake up for something to drink or to use the bathroom. Crawling out of my bed i hung my body off the side sliding down until my bare feet touched the floor.
"Faye, fucking listen to me! I'm getting custody of my daughter whether you like or not." i heard my daddy say a bad word. Tip toeing out of my room, i made sure to walk along the floor boards that i knew that didn't creek.
"Antonio you won't take my baby. Not my baby." I heard her sob, the sound of her crying made me stop walking. I didn't like when she cry.
"Faye, you wont be able to provide for her if you don't have a job to get any money. You need me and if you don't have me what can you do for her?" My dad fussed, i heard a cuss word whisper out of my mother mouth before i heard a smacking sound followed by the sound of things shattering. I got an sadden feeling in my heart as i crepes down the steps into the kitchen.
My mommy and daddy normally fought like this, i try not to get in between it because i don't want to be yelled at. Since the stairs led into the kitchen i quickly stood on top of my step stool that was already in front of the counter where the Faust was. I easily and quietly turned it on and filled up my favorite cup half way.
"Faye i'm not fucking playing with you! Stop fucking hitting me." my dad sounded mad. He normally don't get mad but when he does i get scared, he stayed to his word and never got mad at me because it frighten me.
"What? Your gonna hit me? I dare you! I fucking dare you Antonti-" that's when i heard her scream which nearly made me drop my cup.
"I'm getting tired of you hitting me like I'm your damn bitch. Faye i'll kill your ass and don't think i wont."
My heart sped up, i never heard him say something that mean. i drunk some my water before carefully stepping down. Walking in the direction of the living room, what i seen made my eyes widen.
"I'll love to see you do it." was what she said stabbing him in the chest. The first time, he grabbed her arm before falling to the floor where she kept stabbing him with the small knife she normally kept in her purse.
Dropping the cup onto the floor the water that was still inside flooded around my feet, as a scream escaped my lips and a tear ran down my face.
"Mor-gann" my dad voice cracked i stand in the puddle of water not able to move, i was in shock. My mom quickly pulled the knife out and ran to me. "Morgan, look everything will be alright!"
shaking my head no, my lip quivered, "You hurt daddy! I hate you!"
"Morgan." I looked up to see Vivian looking at me. I was unfamiliar with the look in her eyes but i brushed it off. With the whole feud we basically had-- i don't know what made me actually tell her that. I never told anybody that story. Not even Loren. I felt somewhat relieved that i did then again i feel what i felt than.
"When i went 'M.I.A' on Chris for some months, what actually happened was i was hiding from my mom. Before her condition got brutal, Andre told her where i stayed and she went looking. I had to wait until she gave up to come back." i said, i've been wanting to say that for a while. It isn't no point to tell Chris that because i'm not even a factor in his life.
I was tired of people thinking i left because he supposedly got a baby mama or i was fucking with somebody else, it wasn't either. I was mad as hell when Vivian came but with Andre trying to play make up or something i had to leave.
Vivian nodded, "Have you ever thought of forgiving her?" she asked. I sighed and looked up.
"No. I haven't." i responded.
"I lied, i have actually but the thoughts were quickly erased with my hatred for her. Every time i thought of it, i couldn't go through with it. Maybe she did do it out of self defense, she got time for her actions, she has to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. But when i think of actually forgiving her-- i'll think of my dad and wonder what he'll been like now but that's all i could do. he's gone." words aimlessly flown out of mouth.
"Hatred? I doubt it was hatred Morgan. You probably think it's hatred when its just your heart aching. You don't hate her. You hate what she did."
i chewed on my bottom lip.
"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them." Vivian said, i cocked up an eyebrow.
"Now where you get that from?"
She tried to straight face me before a small laugh erupted from inside her, "It's a quote, by Bruce Lee. But seriously Morgan."
"Look, I don't know what Andre thought that you talking to me would do. But she hasn't tried to admit it, I'm pretty sure all she would say is she was defending her self after being in jail for ten years."
"She hasn't tried? if she haven't tired than why in hell did Andre give her your address? Why did you go hide out for a while? If she wasn't going to try to do something to make peace. The thing is you haven't let her try. Three's a 99.9% she apologized for her actions in her letters while she served time for her mistakes but no you were holding grudges and didn't even try to look at them. I met your mother before, even though i didn't know about you being her daughter, i could tell something was bothering her but she didn't tell me."
"Why does it matter whether if i forgive her or not! Im the one traumatized!"
"So is she, she lost her daughter because of what she done, she know shes wrong. If she thought she was right she wouldn't even waste her breath on trying to apologize to you. I'm not telling you to forget what she did because i'm sure that event is craved into your skull, i'm saying to forgive because if you don't. in the long run it will hurt you and you will regret not doing it."
I sighed as she picked opened up her purse and pulled out two twenties and placed them on the table.
"Did you drive?" she asked,
"No, I let Loren borrow my car so she dropped me off." i mumbled, she nodded and checked her phone. "C'mon." she said, she started to walk before stopping and looking back, "Morgan forreal." I sighed and grabbed my stuff and placed my glasses over my eyes and following her out.
She walked over to a Cadillac ELR, and unlocked the doors and got inside the driver side, even though it was an odd feeling i got inside the passenger side and she pulled off after i strapped myself in.
She was going down a main street, when my thoughts basically jumped around in my head. "When did you meet my mother?" i asked. Confused, i remember when she said that.
"I know Andre because my cousin is divorcing him. I met her a few times during parties." I just nodded. "So it runs in the family huh?"
"What does?" she asked, she glanced at me for a second before focusing on the road.
"Being a bitch. Amber your cousin? I can see how you two are related."
"Awe thanks for the compliment, i can see how you and Andre are related, because i really dislike the both fo you." she retorted.
I rolled my eyes. "Andre isn't friendly did you owe him something to talk to me?"
Vivian stayed quiet, as if she was thinking on what to say. "I'm just nice. We aren't friends. i dislike him and he dislikes me. We have our differences."
That how the rest of ride went, not paying attention to where we were going i noticed we were at a hosptial when we parked. "No."
Vivian smacked her lips. "Morgan get out the damn car."
"Hell no."
"I'm helping you out. Your the one holding shit for nearly twenty years that should be forgiven. Now get out of my damn car."
"Ain't nobody tell you to help me."
"Andre actually did but you'll be thanking me when things changes." I didn't answer and got out the car with her following. Walking inside the lobby of the hospital, i instantly shivered. I felt weak and my heart beated against my chest.
" Which room is Faye Locket in?" Vivian spoke, i bit my lip--with me doing this I'M sure by tomorrow i'll have a sore on my lip. The women at the desk nodded and typed the name into the computer.
"She's only accepting family, what are you to her?" the women said,
Vivian pointed to me, "That's her daughter." the women nodded, "room 123T, floor 3." Vivian urged me to go. But i couldn't i just couldn't.
"Morgan, just go. I'll be down here." i nodded before stepping onto the elevator. it felt like i was on there for centuries until it made the sound indicating i was on the right floor. Since the first door slash room was 120, i walked slowly until i stopped at the third door, frozen.
Am i really about to do this?
Before i could knock the door opened itself and stood there was a sadden Andrew--- Andre's father or my mothers husband. He stared at me before clearing his throat.
"You come see her when she's dying. Nice." he muttered, i narrowed my eyes at him.
"Yeah i came to see her, not you so get out of my way." i said he huffed and walked out closing the door behind him. Looking down at the floor i looked up to see a bed in the middle of the medium sized room.
"Andrew did you leave y-yet?" her voice was hoarse, i noticed her tall frame body laying in the bed hooked up to different things around the bed. A sudden ache hit my chest. She looked dead.
"Andrew? Is that yo--" her sentence was cut off when she sat up and noticed me. "Morgan?" her voice came out as a whisper. i stayed nearly the door, i couldn't find myself walking closer, maybe staying near the door would help me escape when i need to.
"My baby?" she croaked, happiness warmed her voice, it was evident. "Please..Please come.." she motioned me to come near her, i slowly moved my feet across the floor until i was near her frail body. She looked fraglie. She turned her body in the bed and wrapped her skinny arms around my body.My arms nervously yet awkwardly ended up on her back rubbing it softly.
"Look at you.. Your so beautiful. I knew you were so beautiful, thanks to the social media of your modeling Andre provided for me, now i see it in person... My baby is grown up. How old are you?"
"24." I muttered, she smiled weakly as a tear veneered her cheek. Her hands held onto mines as she just stared at me, "I can't believe this.. I just can't... I missed everything. Because of one mistake.. I'm sorry Morgan, i'm sorry. I was sorry when i did it. If i could've taken it back i would, but it wouldn't matter, if it never happened i still wouldn't been in your life and i was afraid of losing my baby girl. I didn't mean to kill him. I couldn't let him take you!"
Tears aimlessly ran down her face, "Morgan twenty years i tired to reconnect with you but it just wouldn't happen. Please forgive me, Morgan i know you hate me but please... i know i was wrong for doing that, taking your father away from you. It was a mistake."
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.
I didn't know i was crying myself. "I forgive you." I sniveled.
**
My mom smiled at me-- or stared for a while. We talked for hours and i told her alot of things i've done. With me modeling, friends, love life-- which is something i need to reconsider. "Baby, you'll find the right one soon. Your still young, live it up before you settle down.
It was a sudden knock on the door before Andre walked through the door casually, he stopped when he noticed me. "Vivian need to get paid or something because...." he trialed off as he smiled sheepishly. Yeah Vivian did help me because i would never had the courage to drive myself. But it wasn't fully her i could've gotten out her car and walked off and went home but i actually came up here.
"Vivian? Isn't that A-mber's cousin?" My mom croaked, she held her chest as she coughed again. Andre quickly grabbed her glass of water and handed it to her. She pulled the cup to her lips and drunk it until the coughing died down.
"Yeah ma." Andre said, my mom nodded. "She's a sweet girl, i wasn't even mad you cheated on Amber with her those years ago. Maybe when the divorce is finalized you could get her." she shook her head and laugh speaking to Andre.
Andre eyes widen as he scratched his neck, "It's been years since that happened, we both got over it and she has kids and a man. I'm alright." He drawled, my mom ohed while i was confused.
When Amber called off the engagement four years ago because Andre cheated it was with Vivian?
"Well lucky him." she smiled, Lucky Chris.. He's stuck with a bitch.
She ain't that bad though. She's alright.
"Andre, You can leave now." She gave him a looked and yawned, i looked at him and he was unfamiliar glint in his eyes i caught. He hugged her, kissed her cheek and whispered something in her ear before leaving out.
When he left, the door shut and the room became silent and her face became relaxed.
"Morgan, you wanna know something?" she said, i looked up and hmed wanting her to continue what she was going to say.
"I'm finally at peace." she confided,
"What do you mean?"
"The pain that has been over my heart for years, finally lifted. i feel complete, i finally spoken to my baby again but now that's over with, i can finally leave while being peaceful."
"Mom what are you saying?" I was getting scared at what she was saying.
She grabbed my hand and caressed her thumb over it, "I know i wasn't there to tell you this everyday but I love you. I've been in pain with my condition for too long, i was just waiting for a miracle to happen so i could finally apologize to you."
"Don't leave me, i just got you back.." i sobbed she smiled softly and raised my hand to her mouth and kissed it.
"Morgan, i would never leave you.. I'll always be here with you but in your heart. You forgave me, you re-accepted me into your heart." She looked at me in the eye and a tear ran down her face, "You still have your brother, auntie and uncle."
"I love you baby girl.:" and she closed her eyes, a minute later the sound the machine monitoring her heart beeped indicating her heart stopped. And that's when i broke down.
"No.no.no.no..Mom.." i shook her body but i didn't get a response. "I love you, i just got you back!" i sobbed, i heard the door open and arms wrapped around my body, "Shhh... Morgan its going to be alright." Andre hugged me tightly as i cried, this wasn't fair.
"I just got her back and now she's gone!" my body heaved heavily in his, he kissed my forehead trying to sooth me.
"She just got you back but she knew what she had to do so she didn't suffer anymore." he spoke, i whimpered, first my dad and now her.
___
Okay, i cried writing this. But please vote and comment i know wattpad has been a bitch of not notifying people when updates appear but yeah. But this will be the last of Morgan. Her little scene is off, just wanted to add somebody else into the mix, so back to Chris and Vivian for the rest of the chapters and probably Alex,Jake,Terri,Loren :)
Let me wake up to some feedback, i didn't waste my tears for nothing Lmfao.
-Kennedy