You were leaning against the old broken down tractor in front of the barn, keeping an eye on the walker infested building. You didn't trust the old wooden walls of the barn to hold against a herd of a walkers and by the sound of it, there were a lot of walkers inside.
Shouting suddenly erupted from the farmhouse and you pushed yourself off the tractor and looked over to the farmhouse to find Shane handing out guns to everyone. But, before you even had a second to process what he was doing you saw Rick, Hershel and Jimmy out the corner of your eye, but they weren't alone.
Turning your attention to them you quickly realised that they were leading two walkers towards the barn with snare poles around their necks. Okay, what the fuck was going on?
Shane and the others began running towards the barn and you sighed. Well, this was just about to turn from bad to worse.
"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." Rick tried to reason as Shane began yelling and shouting at your brother and Hershel.
You weren't really focused on what he was saying as you pulled your assault rifle off your shoulders, wincing when you flicked the safety off with your bad hand. The whole group was there now and they had two walkers on snare poles and even more walkers in the barn behind you, like hell you weren't going to have your gun ready.
Shane continued shouting as he circled around the three of them with walkers and you spared a glance at the rest of the group. You took a mental note that T-Dog, Glenn and Andrea all had guns on them, along with Daryl who had his shotgun aimed at the walker Rick was holding.
"Hershel man, let me ask you something. Could a living breathing person, could they walk away from this?" Shane questioned as he pulled the slide back on his handgun and fired a few bullets into Hershel's walker, hitting it dead centre in the stomach.
"Shane, stop!" You and Rick both yelled, but you were probably better off talking to a brick wall at the moment.
"That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?" He shouted, firing off another two bullets. "That's it's heart, it's lungs. Why is it still coming?"
"Shane, enough." Rick yelled.
"Yeah, you're right man. That is enough." Shane responded as he marched towards the walker Hershel was holding and fired a bullet through it's skull causing the walker to drop to the ground dead before Shane turned his attention back to the group.
"That is enough. Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us. Rick, it ain't like it was before. Now if y'all want to live, if you want to survive, you got to fight for it! I'm talking about fighting right here, right now!" Shane yelled, turning around and running towards the barn door.
"Shane, don't do this!" You shouted, running after him as you heard Rick shouting at Hershel to take his snare pole, but you were more focused on Shane who began slamming a pickaxe against the chains on the door. "Walsh! Stop!" You shouted, stopping a few metres behind him because you sure as hell weren't about to get any closer when he was this riled up and the barn was about to open.
"Shane, do not do this, brother." Rick yelled from behind you, but it was too late as you watched the broken padlock and chain fall to the ground.
"Y/N, get back." You heard Daryl shout from somewhere behind you and didn't have to be told twice as you took a few steps back and Shane did the same, drawing his pistol and aiming at the door as the walkers began stumbling out.
It didn't take long for you to kill the walkers, Andrea, Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl joining you and Shane as you took them down while the others stayed back. Within a minute the gunfire stopped as you stared at all the corpses scattered on the ground in front of the barn.
Nobody said anything for a few seconds as you all took in what just happened before soft groaning came from inside the barn catching your attention as you raised your rifle again, waiting for the last walker to wander out.
You stared at the door, your finger resting over the trigger as the walker stumbled through the gap of the doors and your heart stopped when you realised who it was.
"Sophia? Sophia!" Carol whimpered you glanced over your shoulder just in time to watch as she tried running to her little girl before Daryl grabbed and gently lowered her ground while she cried.
You turned back towards the barn, trying to block out Carol's sobbing as you aimed your gun towards the walker. But, as you stared at her, taking in the walker bite over her shoulder, you noticed your pocket knife still clipped to the side of her pants. It was your fault. Sophia was dead, she got bit and it was your fault.
Suddenly, Rick began walking forward as he pulled out his handgun and walked towards the little girl. Tears began blurring your vision as you stared at Sophia and you lowered your rifle, dropping to your knees unable to stop the silent tears falling down your cheeks as you watched Rick pull the trigger and Sophia hit the ground.
"Don't look. Don't look." You heard Daryl say to Carol before she got out of Daryl's grip and ran back towards camp crying and you dropped your head. This was all your fault. This was all your fault.
"Ma." Someone sobbed and you looked up through teary eyes watching as Beth dropped down beside one of the walkers who you figured must have been her mother when suddenly the walker you thought was dead grabbed her.
You weren't quick enough to do anything as you watched the guys pull the young girl away before Andrea swung the pickaxe through the walkers head, killing it instantly while you sat where you were and watched, unable to move.
Hershel quickly grabbed his crying daughter and began walking back towards their farmhouse followed by Maggie and Patricia. Rick glanced down at you, but didn't get the chance to say anything before Shane began jogging after the Greene family and he had no choice but to chase after him.
You stayed where you were, knowing Rick could handle Shane, but even if you wanted to get up and help you doubted you could. You couldn't even tear your eyes away from Sophia's body as it laid on the ground a few metres in front of you.
"Hey, don't look at her. Just, don't look." Daryl said, crouching down in front of you, blocking your view from Sophia as you looked up at him with teary eyes, but Daryl quickly shook his head like he could read your mind. "It ain't your fault."
"Go find Carol, she shouldn't be alone right now." You whispered, hating how weak your voice sounded as you stared at Daryl.
"Nah, I ain't leavin' ya." He muttered, shaking his head as he stood up and held his hand out towards you and you sighed, but grabbed his hand with your good one and let him help you up.
He pulled you into a gentle hug, surprising you by the sudden gesture, but you quickly hugged him back as tears fell down your cheeks.
-
You buried Sophia and the two members of the Greene family who were also in the barn, before you burned the rest of the walkers corpses. Carol didn't show up to Sophia's funeral, but that was the last thing on your mind when Hershel suddenly disappeared and Beth went into some kind of catatonic shock.
Rick and Glenn went after Hershel, who they thought might have went to the local bar in town, while you stayed inside the house, trying to help Beth. You weren't sure what to do, but between you, Andrea and Maggie, you kept an eye on her and tried getting her to eat and drink, but she wouldn't respond to anything.
"Y/N?" Lori suddenly called out as you walked out of Beth's bedroom to find the other woman walking through the front door. "I think Daryl's starting to make a new camp away from the group. You might want to go talk to him." Lori explained and you sighed, of course Daryl was. He was probably blaming himself as much as you were blaming yourself.
"Shit." You sighed, giving Lori a grateful nod before you walked outside.
The sun was starting to set along the horizon as you walked across the Greene property to where Daryl was currently sitting by an old chimney stack as he sharpened a stick with his knife.
"You're not planning on moving your tent out here, right?" You asked, catching his attention as he looked up with a shrug before looking back down again, seeming more amused by the stick than you. "I know we're both knew to this whole relationship thing, but I'm pretty sure you shouldn't just pack up and move away without telling the other person." You said as you sat down against the bricks beside him.
"I wasn't... I..." Daryl trailed off shaking his head as he struggled to find the words he was looking for. "Was still decidin' if I should or not." He admitted as he continued sharpening the stick with his hunting knife.
"Please don't move out here. The group needs you, I need you and after what happened I'm not sure what's going to happen next." You replied looking over at him as you rested your head back against the bricks watching as he lifted his head and gave you a small nod. You didn't like the idea of him sleeping out here by himself, so you were glad he wasn't going to.
"Carol hates me, she hasn't spoken to me since... well she hasn't really spoken to me much at all since Sophia ran away back on the highway. It's my fault she's dead. She asked me to watch her and all I did was give her daughter a knife. Sophia died and that's on me." You stated, forcing yourself not to cry as you stared out over the Greene property and watched the sunset.
"It ain't." Daryl muttered a few seconds later as he dropped the stick and tucked his knife away before moving himself closer to you until your shoulder was touching his. "I should've found her long before Otis put her in the barn. I've spent most my life out in the woods, trackin' damn animals from dusk to dawn, if anyone should've found her, it was me, but I couldn't."
"It's not your fault, Dixon. You did more for Sophia than anyone else in the group. You got shot and speared by your own bolt for that little girl. It is not your fault." You argued, turning your head towards him as your eyes locked with his.
"'N it ain't your fault either." Daryl insisted causing you to shake your head, but before you could argue any further Daryl grabbed your good hand, squeezing it gently.
Neither of you said anything for a few seconds as you stared at your hands laced together and smiled softly. Actions spoke louder than words.
-
By the time you and Daryl returned back to the farmhouse it was chaos.
Lori had apparently gone off after Rick and then Shane had gone off after her, without so much of a conversation about it. Leaving the rest of you standing around the farmhouse not really knowing what to do. Beth was still unresponsive and Maggie refused to leave her side, but you didn't blame her because if that was one of your family members then you wouldn't either.
You spent most the night trying to comfort Carl who was going out of his mind with his mother and father out there. The poor kid just lost his best friend and now he had to worry about his parents lives as well, but luckily Shane had bought Lori back within an hour. Her car apparently crashed, but other than a few scrapes and bruises she was perfectly fine.
"Where's Rick? Where are they?" Lori questioned once she finished reassuring everyone that she was okay.
You quickly glanced over at Shane who began walking away. He must have told her that Rick was back, it would've been the only way he could get her to come back to the farm. That was smart, but now she's clearly pissed.
"Look, I had to get you back here." Shane began to reason, turning around to face her and you stepped back, not wanting to get in the middle of this.
You glanced around at the rest of the group as you all stood outside by their car, the moon shining brightly in the sky above you.
"You asshole. He's my husband." Lori said angrily as she glared at Shane before she began walking towards the farmhouse.
"Lori, I will go after him. I will find him. First things first I gotta look after you. I gotta make sure the baby's alright, okay?" Shane said which caused Lori to freeze where she stood as she slowly turned back around towards him.
Well shit, looks like Rick or Lori told him about the baby already, but by the look on Lori's face at the moment it was clear she hadn't told anyone else.
"You're having a baby? Why didn't you tell me?" Carl suddenly questioned and for a moment you forgot he was even here as you looked over at your nephew who's face was hidden from the Sheriffs hat, so you couldn't tell if he was happy or not.
"I'm sure your parents were just waiting for the right moment to tell you, kiddo." You spoke up, breaking the awkward silence as you crouched down in front of Carl who nodded in understanding before you glanced over your shoulder towards the others. "Can you guys take Lori and Carl inside, make sure that she's alright and has something to eat?"
"Of course. Come on." Andrea quickly said as her, Maggie and Dale began taking your step sister and nephew back to the farmhouse, leaving you, Daryl and Shane standing by the car.
"I'm sorry, I didn't-" Shane began to apologise before you cut him off.
"It doesn't matter. You, Rick and Lori have a lot to workout and it's none of my business, but you guys have months to do that, so right now lets just focus on getting Rick, Glenn and Hershel back." You responded, looking over at Shane who was leaning against the car. He nodded in agreement and with that the three of you began to figure out the best course of action to get the others back.
It didn't take long for you guys to come up with a plan and as much as you hated the idea of waiting until morning before going after your brother, you knew it was the best choice. It was dangerous at night and you were more than likely going to get yourselves hurt or killed instead of getting them back. So, you were going to wait until morning and take one of the cars and go into town, start at the local bar and go from there.
-
You didn't sleep at all that night, nor did you really try. You spent most the night on watch duty because like hell you were sleeping while your brother and Glenn were still out there.
When you swapped with Shane on watch duty, you joined Daryl in his tent, but didn't bother to try and sleep as you laid there beside him, listening to his soft snores, waiting for daybreak which seemed like it would never come, but finally it did.
The second the sky began to light up, you were up and starting to pack the lime green car along with Shane, Daryl and T-Dog. But just as you were about to leave, a familiar red hatchback came speeding down the dirt road towards the farmhouse and you sighed with relief. They were back.
You watched as the car drove past you and parked in front of the farmhouse, but you didn't miss the stranger sitting in the backseat between Glenn and T-Dog.
You quickly jogged over to them, the others following as Rick climbed out the car first and was immediately wrapped up in a hug by Carl and followed by Lori.
You wanted nothing more than to hug Rick too, but your attention was purely on the person in the backseat with a blindfold over his head. You rested your good hand over the holster of your handgun just in case.
"Patricia, prepare the shed for surgery." Hershel instructed as he climbed out the car and you frowned, your eyes quickly scanning the three of them for any injuries that you must have missed, but they all seemed fine.
You could hear Rick and Lori talking to your left as she told him about the car accident, but that wasn't really important at the moment, not when there was a stranger tied up in their car.
"Rick, who the hell is this guy?" You questioned, cutting off their conversation as you stared at the guy, your hand still resting over your handgun. Every instinct in your body told you that whoever he was, that it wasn't anything good.
"That's Randall." Glenn answered, like that was meant to explain everything as you glanced over at the other man and raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for him to explain further before Rick spoke up.
"I'll explain everything in a minute. Let's just help Hershel get everything ready for surgery, the guy hurt his leg pretty bad." Rick instructed and with that you all began helping Hershel and Patricia move his medical gear into the shed because you weren't letting a stranger into the house even if it was to fix his leg up.
Over the next few hours, Hershel fixed up Randall's leg while Rick and Glenn explained how they found Randall or more specifically how his group found them and tried to kill them. You listened as they spoke and tried to take in every detail, including the part about Rick killing two of their men because what if there was more of them out there?
Shane seemed to be on the same page as you, but Rick was certain that Randall's group wouldn't come looking him which then turned into another argument. But, you managed to break it off before Rick and Shane had another pissing contest and persuaded them both to just sleep on it and deal with Randall the following day.
-
However, little did you know that the following day was going to turn just as chaotic as today.
Beth tried to kill herself and Hershel had to stitch up the deep cut on her wrist which wrecked the whole family. Then Maggie approached you and said that the Randall guy looked familiar for some reason, but she couldn't figure out where she had seen him from which bought forth even more issues. If she recognised Randall that meant he might know her, which then meant he might know where the farm was, which if that was true then Ricks plan of driving him 18 miles south and leaving him was stupid because he could find his way back, with his group.
"Maggie was adamant that she recognised him from somewhere. If he recognised her too then he might know where the farm is, which means your plan of driving him 18 miles south and leaving him is too risky." You stated, glancing over at Rick.
He was standing on the other side of the putout campfire where your group was currently standing around and trying to figure out what to do about Randall.
"What do we do then? How do we find out if he knows Maggie? It's not like he's just going to tell us." T-Dog spoke up, asking the question all of you were thinking.
He glanced around at the group of you and you stared at the barn where Randall was currently tied up in.
"Y/N?" Rick asked, causing you to look away from the barn, but as soon as you saw the look on your brothers face you knew exactly what he was going to ask.
"No." You stated sternly, your eyes locking with his as you shook your head.
He wanted you to get information out of Randall and you both knew there was only on way of doing that; torture.
You had enough experience in torture to last a lifetime and you did not want to use those experiences on someone. You didn't even want to think about those experiences, those dreadful, painful months locked away in a Taliban basement.
Rick and Shane were cops, they had interrogated people before, it was part of their job, but you knew Randall wouldn't just give up information about his group, Rick had already tried. No amount of police interrogation tactics would work, which again bought you back to torture.
You glanced around the group, everyone's eyes on you and Rick as they stared at you two in confusion, having no idea what you guys were talking about. Although by the sad look on Shanes face you knew he had figured it out and he was smart enough to realise that it was the only way.
Rick couldn't ask anyone else to do it, none of the other women would even like the idea of torture and the other guys? They wouldn't even know where to begin, but you did.
"You can't ask me to do that." You said, focusing back on Rick as you absently rubbed at the scar over your good wrist from the tight chain that was locked around it during those horrible months.
"Do what?" Glenn questioned in confusion.
Rick sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he gave you a sympathetic look and boy were you getting sick of seeing that expression.
"This is too much to ask. I know it is. But I have to ask it, it's the only way." He insisted.
"You ask me to walk down that path... You won't like what walks back out." You warned your eyes never leaving Ricks.
You knew it was the only way, it was the only way to guarantee that your group was safe. You couldn't risk Randall's group showing up and killing all of you. It was the only way.
"Wait, you're not talking about torturing him? He's a kid." Dale stated, clearly having caught on with what you two were talking about as he stared at you in disbelief, but you just nodded.
There was no point trying to argue with the older man, this had to be done. He didn't want to torture the kid. You had seen what kids could do, raised the wrong way and exposed to stuff like the Taliban, they could be just as ruthless as men and you knew that. But, you didn't want to torture him because you knew it would bring up old memories, memories you had spent years trying to forget.
"I'd give anything not to have you do this, you know that." Rick said sincerely and you nodded. You knew he didn't want this either, but what else could you do?
"I'll do it." Daryl spoke up from beside you and you glanced over at him to find him already looking at you. "He's a kid, can't be that hard to get information from him."
"Dixon, you don't have to-" You began to say before he cut you off.
"Nah, I'll do it." He replied, adjusting the strap of his crossbow over his shoulder before he began walking off towards the barn where Randall had been tied up.
You watched Daryl until he disappeared inside before you turned back to Rick with a questioning look, but your brother just shrugged his shoulders.
You didn't like the idea of Daryl having to try get the information out of the kid. He shouldn't have to do that, but you knew he did it so you didn't have to and for that you were grateful.
"I still don't like this." Dale commented when the group of you began heading back towards your camp you had set up out the front of the Greene house.
"We have to make sure his group isn't going to show up in the middle of the night and kill us in our sleep. It's the only way." You responded looking over at the older man before you sat down in your deck chair by the putout campfire, resting your injured arm over your lap as everyone else followed and did the same.
"That's a bit dramatic." Dale replied.
"You don't know what people are capable of. Even before all of this, there are some seriously fucked up people out there and some of his group already tried shooting Rick, Glenn and Hershel. I'm not going to risk the rest of their group coming to finish the job." You stated, glancing around at the rest of the group to make sure that they actually understood the gravity of the situation and by the shocked looks on their faces, they did.
-
A/N- Alright, so it looks like this will become my usual posting time from now on. As I said in my last chapter, life has just been hectic and I'll only be able to update on the weekends.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts below. But, until next time stay safe everyone and have a great day xx