II
Persephone Greene
Rolling over on my queen-sized mattress, I sighed deeply. It was only six in the morning, but I couldn't sleep in for some unknown reason. Probably pregnancy. In addition to this, my stomach was killing me, cramps shooting through my body.
I woke up a little nervous of a miscarriage, but, upon reading online found that cramps and indigestion are common in the first 12 weeks, as well as nausea. I was about three weeks in. Usually, the OBGYN won't take you until 6 weeks, but I was on a few medications for ADD I didn't know if I could take anymore. I hope taking them the past couple weeks didn't hurt the little baby. I laid in my bed and thought about everything, how the little baby would have bones and a heartbeat in a few short weeks. Without thinking, I grabbed my cell phone and called Tatiana. She picked up on the third ring.
"Yes, Ms. Greene, are we opening up shop after all?" She asked, her voice filtering through the phone with the sound of screaming children in the background.
"Oh, uh, no, actually. I was wondering if you wanted to have a, um, photoshoot today. I'm going to be getting bigger soon and just want to document the pregnancy...ya' know?"
"Oh! Ms. Greene! What a great idea! I'll ask my mama to watch over my kids. What time do you want to do it? Where you want to meet?"
"Thanks, Tati. Can we meet at like...9? At the shop? My appointment is at 1:30."
"Yeah, I'll bring my camera, you just bring yourself." She giggled and I smiled, relieved. Tatiana and I weren't close, I wasn't even close to Louis who had been working with me for a year now, but I felt like Tatiana and I would become close throughout this journey. We said our goodbyes and I looked at my phone for a moment, confused. She has a camera?
I shook it off and got out the bed, stretching out and groaning. All my muscles ached. The little one was to blame for me feeling terrible these last weeks. My body felt like lead and the smell of food made me queasy. I had been eating fruits and veggies and other things that were little to no prep for the last couple of weeks because of it.
What is the perfect soon-to-be-mama outfit? I looked through my closet, fingering through the various tops and dresses hung up. It was the beginning of June, which meant the asphalt covered city of New York was coming to a boil. I didn't have much of a selection, I hadn't had the time to go to the laundromat since the expo. So, I decided on a white cropped top and flared vertical striped rainbow pants, slipping on white sandals to complete it. Once I had showered and such I looked like I popped out of a 70s catalog and I was kind of loving it. Especially with my afro poppin', it was a little sad I couldn't get highlights for a little while.
Yesterday, on the way home, I grabbed some highly recommend (thank the Lord for Tatiana) prenatal vitamins and I took them along with eating some granola and strawberries. While I was crunching away, I tried once again to remember the face of the man I had made my baby with. It got a little clearer since I was thinking about it so much since yesterday. I had been trying to forget for so long it was a little harder to remember.
In addition to blonde hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin I could remember he was much taller than my 5'6 stature and had a strong nose and jaw. I had to give it to myself, even wasted I had good taste, but the most random detail was I could remember was he had freckles. Cute. Maybe he was a small business owner like myself. Though, I highly doubted he was prosperous. His business must be in the toilet if he couldn't even remember a condom, what's more, is he was probably a terrible lover if I couldn't remember a thing.
Or maybe I was just that drunk.
It was all a little fuzzy still.
It was nearly 8:30, so I grabbed my tote bag and stumbled out the door, making my way down the street to the shop. Tatiana was already waiting, her hair in freshly done box braids adorn with gold clips, a high-quality camera around her neck. I was a little shocked with how nicely she was dressed, a long denim colored button-up dress and white sneakers. You wouldn't know she had three children by looking at her. Black don't crack, I thought with a grin as I walked up to her. She walked around me, hyping me up and saying things like, "Booty? Poppin'!" and "Dang Ma, that brown suga' lookin' real sweet today!" I laughed at that one, feeling my face heat up.
"You're looking pretty cute yourself!" I replied, embarrassed. I hadn't received friendly support in a very long time, maybe since I was living with my mom and Aphrodite.
"Thank you, do you know where you want to take pictures?" She asked, and I thought about it before shrugging. "I know a place covered in some really pretty graffiti, its like clouds and flowers, and stuff. It'll look real good with your outfit."
"Really? Okay, sounds good! I don't really know the area all that well still." I smiled sheepishly as we started walking, Tatiana leading the way.
"So you aren't from here! I was wonderin' where your accent was from."
"Ohio, actually. It's been a dream to come back to New York since I was little. My daddy was from the Bronx. We did live here when I was little, I don't remember it. We moved 'cause my daddy got transferred for his job. He was a cop."
"He was from the Bronx? Me too! I moved to Manhattan to get away from my ex, he's a dealer and I ain't want our children to be around that. He chooses drugs. I choose family. I can't believe I dropped out of college for that man."
"You went to college?" I asked as we continued down the street, taking a right. She nodded, a tender look crossing her face as she rubbed her fingers over her camera thoughtfully.
"I was going to be a photographer for magazines, had a job lined up and everything until I got pregnant with Zaniya. Shoot, I was taking communication and journalism classes too! I had a whole plan in front of me!"
"Do you regret having your kids?"
She gave me some mean side eye for that comment. "No! I may have given some things up but my babies are what keeps me going sometimes. They were and are blessings." Tatiana sounded so sure, I was a little jealous as I wondered if I would be that way one day. "Oh! Look! There it is!" She said, sprinting ahead and spreading her arms out to a beautiful section of bricks painted as she has described. It was beautiful.
"Tati! This is beautiful!"
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Now strut your stuff ma'!"
Afterward, we went to get ice cream at a shop Tati seemed to love, and I instantly loved it too. I found Tatiana to be really sweet, in fact, I wanted to hang out with her more. She knew a lot of things about pregnancy, kids, and relationships. She was all about black empowerment and could recite a lot of Martin Luther King's quotes. Her kids, Zaniya, Taheem, and Jamele were 5, 4, and 2 and her mom watched them while she was at work. She also has a boyfriend, Issac, who she is about to have her one-year anniversary with. She rarely has time for things other than her kids, and she doesn't really use social media because of it. Which, made an idea come to me.
"Hey, Tati, you should start uploading your pictures to Instagram. It would be a good way to get your photography career back on track!" I said, the idea popping into my head. Her eyes grew wide as she pulled the spoon out her mouth.
"What?"
"You should post your art online, and do freelance photography on the side. My photos look so good! I'm sure people would pay mad cash for it. Heck, I'm going to pay you right now. I want you to be my pregnancy photographer from here on out!" Excitedly, I dug my phone out my tote bag and showed her how many people like did freelance online.
Her eyes lit up. "Really? I have an Instagram already, I just don't be usin' it like that, ya' know? Man! Why didn't I think of this? Man! Ms. Greene, you're so good!" She said, quickly making a new account for her photography while I dug around my tote for my wallet and began to pull out some money.
"Tati, call me Persephone or Seph or something. Ms. Greene sounds so old. Now, look, how much are you going to charge me for each photo? Or...however you want to do it." I asked, and she glanced up at me with shock in her eyes.
"You really finna pay me?"
"Yeah, you're my photographer now, and my friend."
"Nah, I don't charge friends. This was fun! And you just helped me so much, I never get to think about this stuff, ya' know? I got kids to feed." She said, laughing a little as I put my wallet away. "Speaking of, don't you have an appointment in like...an hour?"
"Yeah, it's a ten-minute walk from here, actually."
"Ooo! The first appointment is always a little nerve-wracking. Especially with Zaniya, 'cause Matías wasn't there. Speaking of, where's your baby daddy?" She asked, scooping her ice cream in her mouth as she looked at me expectantly.
I sighed, mixing the ice cream around in the cup. For some reason, I was all kinds of sad in a matter of seconds. Mood swings, oh, no. "I actually don't know. Just know he left me naked and alone the morning after. I was planning on not having sex till I was married, ya' know. Like, I had sex before but I started going to church when I was like 15 and told myself I would never have sex before marriage again."
"Oh dang, Ma'. I'm sorry, I just thought you had a lil' boyfriend you never talked about before." Guiltily, she twiddled her fingers, a rosy tint rising on her cheeks.
"Ha. As if. Men don't really go for this piece of chocolate. I got a mean restin' mug." I said, laughing away the awkward air that had settled over the conversation. Tatiana chuckled before joining me in a full-blown laugh. I had a dry sense of humor, but I tried sometimes.
"We should hang out more often Ms...I mean, Seph. I don't really hang out with no one anymore, 'sides my family. This was really fun! Give me some updates after your appointment, 'ight? I'll give you my number, hold up." I agreed and Tatiana pulled her phone out and gave me her number before leaving.
Off to the doctors, I went.