^^ James ^^
— James —
Soft light woke me up, the day after my accident. I didn't remember much about the accident, except that my bike was probably ruined.
'Ahh, I hope that other guy didn't crash or anything, trying to avoid me...' I sighed, and stretched slowly, or tried to. My arms were so heavy, and my head was refusing to move.
I frowned at the soft light, and instead reached out mentally, like my Guru had been teaching me for years.
Instantly, the surroundings became pure white, and I was able to move again. My astral body was submerged to the waist in a perfectly white liquid, with no horizon of any kind. I looked at my hands, and sighed at the Red dripping off of them. "Yeah, I suppose that makes sense... even killing for your country counts as killing..." the red drops hit the white water, and turned some of it a deep, bottomless red.
I dipped my hands into the water to cleanse them, and the dark spots spread, but no relief came. I sighed and then had a thought, drinking some of the white water by dipping my face to meet it, instead of using my hands.
It was sweet, almost like liquid honey, and A warm feeling filled me, unlike anything I'd ever known, but I knew the costs of euphoria; it was always a trap. I pulled away immediately, and then tried the red water. It was only metaphorical, so there was no issue of spreading blood borne diseases or whatever. This water tasted normal, like regular water. It was refreshing, but not euphoric. It was very realistic, unlike the white water.
As I thought so, a small island appeared a little ways in front of me, and another, behind me, rising up through the water. One of them was covered in things that made me blush a little, such as naked ladies in various lewd poses, and piles of gold and jewels, while the other was a single throne, empty and waiting, though a pit of vipers surrounded it.
More appeared, all full of various earthly desires, but I shook my head, and wandered away from them, though I glanced back a few times at the island covered in women and shiny things... that one was tempting.
When I left the ring of Islands, the water began to take on a pinkish tint, as if it had been diluted a bit with the blood coming off my hands. Walking was too long, so I decided to swim a bit. I'd always loved swimming, it was a calming, peaceful thing, one I was quite good at.
As soon as my face broke the water, I nearly drowned from breathing in the white water, as I screamed at the thousands of vicious-looking creatures hiding in the white water, trying to get close.
Instead of running to one of the islands, though, I shoved my hands into the water, moving them around, and turned all the water around me Red. When I hesitantly looked in the water again, I saw the beasts were circling, but avoiding the path of red I'd left behind me.
I nodded and stood up, leaving my hands in the water, and walked off in a random direction.
I wandered for what felt like years, or even decades, but I wasn't worried. I didn't get tired, and the black water could sustain me rather well, it seemed. It was peaceful, walking calmly with almost no sensation. Over the years, the water level lowered, and more and more islands appeared, but I avoided them, as they were all covered in various things I didn't really care for, except the few that made me blush.
Sometimes I would watch those islands, and it did make me feel guilty, at first, like some kind of peeping tom, but they were so very happy to oblige my wandering gaze. Then I would continue to walk, and they would pout a bit, but go about their lascivious business.
Other islands were simply confusing; one where a man in fantasy armor constantly fought a dragon, who was just protecting his cave, and I had rooted for the dragon until he won, and continued on. Another, were a woman with long, pointed ears was shooting arrows at a target with perfect accuracy, seemingly without end.
I distracted her, just once, and laughed softly when she missed, but then I paused as her entire island faded to dust, and that dust spread into the water, creating more red spots.
After several years, however, I found a curiosity; I reached the beginning of my own path of red, as I'd been walking a straight line, or so I'd thought. The seven islands were there, still, but I'd gotten the hang of this, after so many had appeared, so I simply found ways to make them all disappear, by failing their current tasks. The snakes were lured into the throne, and they dissolved; the angry man hacking at an enemy's shield missed, and cut his own leg off. So on, so on, so on.
Eventually, only the islands that made me blush were left, but For several reasons... first: I couldn't actually figure out their 'tasks'. Second: I couldn't really interact with them, because something told me to never step onto the islands; to stay in the water, no matter what.
I walked several circles, it seemed, around this little 'planet'. It seemed a ball of water, after inspection. When the water level dropped too low, however, I noticed the women (and sometimes men,) on the islands could descend closer and closer to me, and were actively attempting to do so. Soon, I witnessed some of them swimming in the white water, and disappearing, eventually leading me to believe that the 'people' on the islands were simply illusions, and their real forms were the monsters I'd seen beneath the water.
Instantly after I'd made that connection, all interest I had in those islands completely dissolved, along with the islands themselves, and I was now alone, in Ankle-Deep Ocean of Blood.
In a rush, it rose up, and I held my breath as I was surrounded by glowing lights, pulsing in the water and slowly fading, as if they couldn't handle the pressure.
"How refreshing... a Human who isn't tempted by anything... Fame... Fortune... Women... Men... Victory... Defeat... nothing..." a deep, masculine voice echoed around me, in the water.
There was no bottom, or top, and it was difficult to hold my breath, but I held on; the pain of the body was nothing, of course. My Guru would be proud of me, I think. Or perhaps not, considering her validation still mattered to me, meaning I wasn't entirely detached from the earthly plane.
"Haha! Such a cute, innocent Wish... the love of your master, that's all you want, in the end, and I didn't even think to offer it... how quaint, that your little Human Soul was beyond our attempts to tempt you..." a female voice replaced the first, and a ball of light appeared, taking the form of my Guru. "And such a plain female, too... could I not improve it?" Her womanly assets grew to perfect proportions, and her nose straightened from its slightly crooked, many-times-broken look.
I glared at the insulting creature, instantly enraged. "Don't you dare mock-" I coughed and inhaled the water, irritated now more with my idiocy; 'what moron tries to yell underwater?!?' I growled at myself.
"Ooh! Did that strike a cord?!? I think I got him with Rage!!! Brother, I think he's all yours..." she smirked, as a man who looked like a very buff version of my father appeared as well.
"Indeed... the Passion in his soul could level mountains. It is quite impressive, for a mortal to have such power in his emotions. For a Human, even more so. He will be a fine addition to the Demon Hoard." He nodded.
Instantly, I calmed myself, reminded that this was all a dream; an astral projection of my mind into the Realm of Dreams. 'Relax. Breath. Your Astral Form requires no Air. You are not Drowning, nor are you in any danger.' I slowly recovered, and pulled my legs up into a proper meditating position, closing my eyes and ignoring the creatures.
"Oh? And now the rage is gone... Curious... how do you regain control so easily?" The male asked, floating around me slowly.
I ignored him, and began softly chanting a Mantra, a mantra of detachment, as well as a mantra for peace and harmony of mind, body, and spirit. I chanted one aloud, and another in my mind, while my hands wrote them in the water around my hands, albeit slowly; I wasn't nearly at my Guru's Level when it came to multitasking.
They spoke more, but I ignored them, and after a few hours turned into days, and those stretched to years and even more decades, and even those decades seemed to multiply, reaching to what must've been centuries, at least, they finally gave up, swimming away.
As I chanted, I sank into the void. It was no longer water; that metaphor seemed to have faded with my perception of is as a necessity.
More lights appeared, and they too attempted to sway me or deceive me. They claimed to be gods, goddesses, demons, Asura, and so on, promising power, gifts, new life, but I ignored them, and was not dissuaded from my meditation.
After some time, I began to meditate on the nature of things, instead of just peace and harmony. The nature of stars was evident, but what of the space between? Was there truly a place where nothing existed? Or was it simply a place where we lowly humans couldn't quite grasp the nature of yet?
Beings came and offered the answers to these questions, but I ignored them, preferring to find answers myself, even if I was wrong. Having anything given to you removed the sense of accomplishment from achieving it yourself, after all. Relying on others for knowledge that could be achieved was lazy, in my mind. After all, someone understood these things on their own, or we wouldn't have books about them to teach from, would we? And if someone understood it, why couldn't I?
I thought about that, as well; <Ego, I, Me, Mine.> the absolute ridiculousness of Humanity, to believe it was in some way Special. That, because we could understand things, or change them, or build them, this made us Better, or Superior. It was, and will always be, Simple Arrogance.
Then there was the idea of Perfection; that there were Beings, Gods, Buddha's, that were completely without fault. Perfection was an odd thing, and it confused me for a long time. Who was right about Perfection? Everyone would say different things, to that. Everyone would say that it's better to be tall, or short, or thin or thick, or muscled or slim, a strong jaw or a round chin; perspective was therefore the key to perfection, I decided.
If you could understand someone's perspective, you could know their idea of Perfection, and their perspectives would widen yours, slowly but surely. But that led to the question: is Perfection good or bad? The pursuit of perfection had driven human progress across hundreds of thousands of years. The desire to improve was a driving force behind progress. If Perfection was found, a perfection everyone agreed with, stagnation or nirvana were the only options, right?
But what was Nirvana? The belief that you'd achieved perfection, and therefore could stop improving? Simple Arrogance, again, and then stagnation. So Perfection must therefore never be achieved; because Stagnation was therefore the only option after Perfection was achieved.
Or would there be another action? I suppose if one person disagreed with the other's perfection, then they would argue, and conflict would ensue. Humans needed conflict, after all, it was another driving force behind progress.
But was Progress... important? After all, if we could be happy with what we had, we wouldn't need Conflict, nor would we need perfection; we would achieve peace and perfection, therefore, by not chasing it... but wouldn't that make life meaningless? With no progress, you would be simply eating and drinking until you died, and what then? What had you accomplished?
I sighed, unable to answer that question, and opened my eyes.
A large being was meditating next to me, thinking seriously; he had a face of an elephant, and the body of a man. I recognized him as Ganesha, the Hindu God. He wasn't much for meditation, in the stories, as a god of Hedonism and Happiness, but if one found happiness in mediation, like the Guru did, perhaps that was still within his Sphere.
I let him alone, thinking to speak to him about the concept of accomplishment, when he was done meditating. After all, sometimes one must ask others questions, gaining their perspectives and widening your own. The arrogance of believing you didn't need others was also bad, even if it meant you must rely on worldly connections from time to time.
So I waited patiently, thinking on the subject, and waited some more... and before I knew it, what felt like a whole millennia had passed, and he opened his eyes slowly.
I opened my mouth, and he yawned noisily, stretching. "Whew!!! Now that was a Nap!!! Oh? And who are you? You seem a little small to be a god... are you a New God? A Minor God? Or maybe a Spirit? I've never seen a Spirit with so much Ur around it, but I suppose it is possible..." he leaned in slowly, and I realized he was much, much further away than I'd thought, as his eye suddenly filled my entire view, to the horizon and back.
A sort of aura around him, a deep gold, clashed with my own, the dark space I'd perceived as Void. As it did so, I hissed in pain as my own aura was burnt away like darkness as a torch is lit.
"Ahhh, my apologies... a Spirit, then, and only it's first reincarnation? How curious... and also impressive. Tell me, Spirit; whom do you pray to?" He asked, leaning back again, my perspective shifting nauseatingly until he sat right next to me, the same height as me somehow.
I cleared my mind, and shook my head. "I do not Pray." I answered simply.
He nodded. "I see. This is good. Prayer is a desperate act; begging for favor or protection or notice from a being that must handle the fate of the universe, and cannot move very quickly... by the time their prayers are heard, or even noticed, their life's have ended. But their second lives, then, can be different, more prosperous."
"I refuse to see piety as an act that warrants praise or reward. If one is pious only to receive a reward, one is not pious; if one is pious without promise of a reward, one is too simple to think for oneself. Living a life of kindness and peace, without any intention of being rewarded for it, that is good, and just. But being rewarded for simply believing what you're told, even when Dogma is Cruel to others? That is wrong." I shook my head.
He hummed, his trunk scratching one of his ears absently. "I suppose that's true. I've never seen someone like that rewarded, but it's true that those mortal Scriptures say they will. We didn't write those, of course. We gave guidance a few times here and there; interfered when something Divine or Demonic appeared, as those are our self-decided duties, but we have never written down Laws for Mankind. They invented them all themselves. We usually reject the Religions built around us. Take my word for it, for what it is worth; Only the Good are given favor, regardless of their beliefs or lack thereof."
I smiled. "That is good to hear, even from a Dream-Being. I suppose that is my subconscious wish for Fairness in the afterlife speaking. I will reflect upon my need for affirmation, I think." I closed my eyes again and settled back into my meditation, once more circulating my spirit through my body and mind, then my mind through my body and spirit, and my body through my mind and spirit.
He sat still for several decades, and then hummed. "I suppose... I could Prove it? That you are in the Spirit Realm?"
"You cannot." I refuted calmly.
He chuckled loudly, slapping his belly. "I contest!!! Your mind is made of Iron, and your Body and Spirit as well, these are all impressive, but I can prove to you that you are in the Spirit Realm! And I will do so by simply answering a question you can't answer yourself! Therefore, your mind could not have created the answer, and I must be an outside force, and you must be outside of your own mind!" He reasoned.
I hummed. "That does sound correct; my mind cannot create knowledge... though there's the possibility my mind could create something totally outlandish, and there would be no proof here to prove or disprove it... no, you still cannot convince me." I shook my head, coming to a conclusion.
He nodded. "That is true... then I shall simply ask a question, and you may think on it, as I return you to the Mortal Plane. My question is thus: 'What is Ego?'"
I opened my mouth to respond, and then frowned at a sudden pull, in my stomach, like a gnawing, hungry ache. 'I must be waking up, because I haven't eaten breakfast... I wonder if the hospital has good food?' I hummed.
My eyes closed of my own accord, and I felt my Soul rejoin my physical body.
I took a deep breath, and then opened my eyes, surprised by the crisp forest smells in the single breath. I gasped softly, at the view of a majestic mountain, covered all in Veridic Forest and burbling rivers and streams.
"Little Sage? Are you Well?" A woman's voice asked hesitantly in soft English.