"Master, why did you bring me here? I thought you said you would come by yourself." Trying my best to not look unruly, I held my hands together and stood at the side of his desk.
"You'll live here from now on."
"Live here?! Master, what have I done to anger you? Why must you keep me locked up in this cave? You know I hate caves!"
"Wait until I finish speaking."
I gulped down my fears of abandonment and tried to listen to Master's soothing voice.
"You'll be here no longer than a week. I just need to figure some things out in the mean time."
Firmly placing my hands over my ears, I imagined the darkness surrounding me, vicious growling echoing loudly in my ears, and the overwhelming stench of rotting flesh polluting my nostrils. With eyes closed and mouth mumbling, I could no longer hear Master.
"Don't leave me. I don't want to be here. Don't leave me. Don't leave me. I don't want to die." Over and over I kept muttering the same words. Shivering so intense, I could no longer control my thoughts, could no longer suppress the intense fear that locked down onto my words and actions.
I could hear it. The metal chain sliding across hard stone floor. I was being shackled again.
I was being left behind.
Two large hands placed lightly over mine. The coldness of skin allowed my breathing to become slow. Calmly whispering, I heard Master's voice once again.
"I'm not going to leave you here."
"You're going to abandon me like them."
"Rong Xin, calm down."
"I'm going to be all alone. I don't like it."
"I'm not going to leave you here by yourself. Rong Xin, haven't I always come to your rescue?"
Master... was right. He saved me from a beating in Yeguang city. He saved me from the Mantis Demon. He saved me from that demon's cave when everyone from Pingfan village betrayed me. Master was my savior.
Although I was loved my Mother and Father, I always felt bitter about my real parents leaving me all alone. Mother and Father's love for Chun Mei made me lonely. Ying Jun's love for Chun Mei made me lonely. My thoughts became unhealthy, and I started to resent Chun Mei a little, but I still loved her. So I bottled it all up. Kept it all inside. Hated myself for being undesirable. No one wanted me, but being at Bleak Night allowed me to have a different dream. A dream to grow and become a hero for myself, but I then realized that sometimes heroes like Master still need love too. I could learn to protect myself from demons and exact revenge on those who wronged me, but all I really wanted was for someone to love me.
"Master?" I opened my eyes to him standing in front of me.
I withdrew my hands from underneath his and placed them around his waist. Burrowing my head into Master's chest, my heart was at peace. Master slowly accepted my inappropriate embrace and put his arms around me as well, patting my back gently.
"Listen to me. To be very clear, both you and I will live here. I won't let you stay anywhere by yourself. Shui Jing Mountain is very tranquil. The only deadly demon here is me, and I won't-- I will never hurt you."
I nodded, brushing my head against his chest. Tears rolling down my cheeks. Master's cool body temperature alleviated the heat inside my head.
"Master?" I meekly called out to him.
"Mmm?"
"Promise you'll never leave me behind?"
"I promise."
To my surprise, Master didn't even take a moment to think before answering. It was as though he knew what his answer was going to be. Was Master falling for me? I still didn't want to get my hopes up, but each minute I spent with him, I was failing to stop my heart from yearning.
"Are you hungry?" Master stood beside me as I covered myself with a blanket and watched over the blue flames burning in the fireplace.
Nighttime fell, and I wanted to be near the light. The crystals shined even brighter at night, so I wasn't too scared. But also Master... was right beside me.
"I know you're hungry." Master leaned over to take a better look at my face. Smiling, his eyes sparkled warmly.
Was Master trying to be nice?
Walking to the dinner table behind me, Master said, "I prepared this for you."
Curious, I poked my head out from the blanket. Hopping over, I wore the blanket as a hooded cloak. My eyes were greeted by a lavish set of dishes. Steamed fish, warm rice, fried pork, tofu soup.
"Woah!"
My hunger decided to make itself known. The rumbling and chaotic sounds of an avalanche erupted from my stomach. I tried to silence it by suffocating my belly, but I knew Master heard it because he was already chuckling to himself.
I tried to play it off like I wasn't embarrassed about my stomach's temptation. Laughing awkwardly, I sat down at the table and began to eat.
With a mouth full, I asked Master, "Master, did you really cook all this?"
He really can survive without me for hundreds of years! And... He's totally husband like!
Still standing, Master replied, "It's not hard. Wu Jing told me I've learned to cook a long time ago."
"Lord Wu told you?" I took a bite of fish but was still invested in Master's words.
"Mm. Before I became a demon, I would cook for Wu Jing and I. After becoming a demon I have no need to eat normal food, although I can still enjoy it."
I gulped, "Then Master, what do you eat for energy?"
He stared at me. Putting his hands on the table, Master leaned close to my face and asked, "Why? Are you afraid I might eat you?"
"N-- No! Didn't you promise that... you won't hurt me?" My voice got quiet. I think I was done eating, couldn't swallow anymore as fear was lodged in my throat. Master's eyes did seem to display a color of hunger.
Wrapping myself back in the silky blanket, I wobbled back over to the fireplace.
Master asked, "Are you sure you're done eating? I've seen you eat before, and your level of filling your stomach surpasses this amount."
Tsk! H-- He's too mean!
Ignoring him, I focused on the flickering blaze. The blue hue reminded me of Master's inner powers. I'd never seen him used those powers before, but have heard from others that it was beautifully horrifying.
"Oh! My mud fish!" I'd completely forgotten about the mud fish. If Master was going to keep me here, how was I going to keep them alive?
Master walked over beside me, keeping his gaze on the flames as well. "I didn't think they were going to last the week in that straw bag of yours, so I released them back into the rice paddy."
"Wh-- Master, you-- When did you have to time to do all that and cook?"
Turning to me he said, "I merely teleported back and forth while you were napping."
"So you did-- You did leave me here all alone!" Panicking, I couldn't believe Master broke his promise! It hadn't even been a day yet.
"Relax, I wouldn't leave you if I thought you were in danger."
"That's true..."
Yes, Master wouldn't leave me if he thought I was in danger.
Sitting in silence, I didn't know what to say. Master looked content staring at the fire and with the quiet filling the room. Only the popping of the flames made a noise surrounding the cave.
"Master, what is it that you're trying to figure out? I mean thinking about it if you really needed someone to serve you well, Gu Yi would have been a better fit. I don't particularly do an exceptional job at cleaning or cooking."
Master didn't answer. Perhaps, I was out of line asking for him to explain himself. I was his servant, and was obligated to go where he wanted and do what he wanted.
"You know I have those dreams about the faceless woman," he finally spoke. His voice was cold and stern. "I dream of her a lot these nights, so I don't like to sleep."
Oh no... Master, I don't want you to suffer. My heart is breaking. Why won't she leave you alone?
I asked, "Does she look scary in the dreams?"
I imagined a long-haired woman in white standing creepily in the darkness. I was scaring myself with those mental images!
He looked into my eyes with a small smile extending on his face. "No, she's never scary. When I dream of her, I don't like how it makes me feel. Like the weight of a boulder resting on my chest. The urge to run to her and embrace her, but only grasping a snowy gust of wind."
Master looked so sad. I wanted to hug him and pat his back like how he tried to comfort me.
"When I ascended to a demon, I had to sacrifice the most precious thing I owned in order to fulfill the prophecy of a Demon King. The most precious thing I had was already gone... The only thing that kept me in the world of the living was my memories of her."
So Master forfeited his memories of this woman for immortality...
"I now understand why Wu Jing had his guard up against you the first time he saw your face. He was afraid you were a demon in disguise or a molded clay doll sent to fool me because you looked so much like her."
"Like the lady from your dreams?"
He nodded. "I can confirm you're not a demon nor are you a doll. However, I cannot fathom what to do if you are indeed her reincarnation. I am no longer the same person from the past, and if you are her, I'm sure there are many things that have changed about you."
Even if I am the reincarnation of this woman that haunts his dreams... it doesn't mean that things will go back to the way it was. He was now a demon and I, a servant under his sect. And he is in love with Ming Yan, not me.
"I brought you here to see if can I piece my memories together. And if..." Master trailed off. "Never mind. You must be tired. You can take the bed."
With that, Master walked away and disappeared behind a rock wall that slid open and then closed behind him. He revealed a lot of information that would lead to a sleepless night, yet I somehow felt that there were some things he was still keeping from me.
Does Master truly believe I am this woman's reincarnation? And I look exactly like her? Does Master remember her face? Her voice? Her personality? I guess that's why he brought me here. To figure out if the memories will come back and clear his conscious. Maybe he wants to move on because he no longer loves this mysterious woman. That's right. Perhaps, he wants to openly pursue Ming Yan without the mysterious woman on his mind, but because of me... he's torn. Because I look like her. I don't even know if I am her. I can't remember my past life. If the mysterious woman was someone 'precious' to him then Master must have loved her a lot. If I'm anything like her, I wish to receive genuine love from him as well.