wednesday - 2:06 a.m.
i don't want you to tutor me either, aide!
i really don't!
what i want is for everything to go back to the way it was. i want you to forget me ever hurting you. i want to forget ever hurting you. i want you to look me in the eyes like you used to. i want you to tell your friends about me, tell them how happy i make you.
what i want is for you to call me up at one in the morning telling me how fucking upset you are because your mom and dad aren't even speaking anymore. i want you to tell me how your day was. i want you to talk to me again. i want you to want to talk to me. i want to be able to hold your hand and wait for you outside your last class. i want to wake up in the morning extra early just to pick you up and then drop you home at the end of the day.
what i want is for you to message me at the end of the night how thankful you are that i was there to save you from all the drama. i want you to run up behind me in the middle of shifting classes and jump up on my back like you used to. i want to give you piggy back rides to your next class whenever it's on the second floor just because i know how much you hate climbing stairs. i want to open the car door for you and help you down. i want you to ask me if i'd like to stay for dinner. i want to say yes.
what i want is to go up to your room after dinner and lay with you. i want to fall asleep next to you like i used to. i want to hold your hands in mine and tell you how beautiful you are. i want to tell you that i'm so grateful that i have you in my life and how without you, i'd be a mess. i want to wake up in the middle of the night and see you out on your balcony just because you can't sleep again. i want to stay out there with you. i want to hear about every single thing that bothers you and every single thing that makes you happy. i want to kiss you at the end of the night like i did once before.
oh god, aide-
i just want you back!
can't you see? i'm so fucking in love with you.
- eli
p.s.
i'm hoping the lie was that you hate me.
p.p.s.
because i'm hoping you still love me.
-
author's note:
my heart kinda hurt when i wrote this
this update is for a sweetheart named katelin. thank you for reading this!
xoxo,
daisy