I scowled in defiance as I sat there in the kitchen. Sean's mom looked at me apologetically as I stared down at the suddenly very interesting counter top.
"What do you want?" I growled, trying my best to remain calm. I didn't want to talk to him right now. I wasn't in the mood for a genuine heart to heart if that was what he was after.
"Jake I just want to talk. We need to talk," he stammered, raising his hands up to show he meant no harm.
"I'm not in the mood," I said curtly. I pushed myself off the stool and got up, moving to leave the room. I walked around him when he caught my arm.
"Please," he pleaded, looking at me sideways. Without turning to look at him, I froze. I was too exhausted, frustrated, and worried about Sean and our fight to deal with this right now.
"Sorry you wasted your trip over here," I said, shrugging out of his grip and continuing to walk towards the stairs.
"Jake Holmes you will not walk away from your father!" He hollered. I stopped in my tracks, my back to him.
"You want to talk? Then talk!" I shouted, causing Kristen to flinch.
"Um..I'll just give you guys some privacy," she mumbled awkwardly as she shuffled out of the room. My back was to my dad and I didn't turn around. I heard him walking up behind me.
"We are your family and you need to stop being stupid and come back home," Dad said, attempting to put his hand on my shoulder. His tone was still harsh and authoritative. I didn't like that one bit.
"Yeah you've sure treated me like family," I replied sarcastically. Smack! He slapped me hard across my face. He immediately covered his mouth in shock.
"Jake, I'm-I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that," his voice was quieter now. I shook my head as I brought my hand up to my stinging cheek.
"You should go," I said flatly, motioning to the front door. He slumped his shoulders and looked at me helplessly.
"I want you to come home."
"I'm not ready to go home. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever want to go back there," I said, avoiding his eyes. His shoulders fell further if that was even possible.
"I'm so sorry son. I'm a horrible father. Truth is I don't know what to do," he sighed deeply.
"Please just go," I said, snapping my eyes shut. Without saying another word, dad slipped out the door and I heard the engine of his car start. I stayed rooted to the spot until the sounds of the engine faded and I was sure he was gone. I opened my eyes and trudged upstairs to the guest room where I was staying. Pulling out my phone, I decided to call Sean. Where has he been?
He didn't answer, I got his voicemail. 'Hey it's me, just wondering where you are. I love you and I'm sorry. Please come home? Call me when you get this. Bye.' I sighed and ended the call. It was getting late and I was feeling so tired. I just wanted this horrible day to be over with already.
The bedroom door was open but I heard a knock. I looked up to see Kristen standing in the doorway, looking at me sadly.
"You okay hun?" She asked gently. I nodded. I brushed my fingertips against my cheek again, remembering my dad had slapped me. I winced at the fading stinging sensation.
"Have you heard from Sean? I'm worried. We had a fight earlier and I just messed up everything. I seem to be doing that a lot lately," I laughed bitterly, trying to pretend I was making a joke of it. She shook her head.
"Jake stop that. You didn't mess anything up. All of us make mistakes. I talked to Sean on the phone while your dad was here," she replied.
"Is he alright?" I asked sadly. She smilied.
"Yeah he just went to clear his head. He does that sometimes honey, don't worry. He's not mad and he said he'll be home soon."
"Okay," I replied. "Well I'm gonna get in bed. I would wait up for him but I'm exhausted," I explained. She nodded her head in understanding.
"Goodnight Jake. I hope you get some much needed rest," she said genuinely, her eyes shining with sincerity. God I wish my mom was like Kristen. Sean was so lucky.
"Thanks you too," I replied. She closed the door behind her and I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I found my toothbrush and toothpaste and sauntered over to the ensuite bathroom and quickly brushed. Once I was finished I flicked the light off in the bathroom, returned to my bedroom and promptly stripped down to my underwear. It felt so good to get out of those clothes.
I left them on the floor, crossed the room to turn the main light off and slid under the covers. It was so cool and comfortable in the sheets, which were fresh and clean smelling.
* * * *
I had no idea how long I'd been laying here. It seemed like forever. Sean never called me to let me know he got my message. Maybe he didn't come home yet I don't know. I looked over at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was 12:50. I sure hope he was home and in bed at least by now. I thought about my fight with him and how stupid it was. I loved that boy with all my heart but I'd done a pretty poor job of showing that today. I should've just been more understanding about where he was coming from.
Then I thought about my dad earlier and how he'd slapped me. Maybe I deserved it. Afterall I was being a sarcastic asshole to him. He was my father and I loved him very much, even though I didn't really show him I cared about his feelings at all. He was just trying to cope too. I guess I was just disappointed that he didn't stand up for me more.
My brother's face suddenly came to my mind vividly. He had the brightest smile, his eyes twinkling as they usually did when he found something amusing. I missed him so much it hurt. My chest felt like it was being squeezed tightly. I don't know exactly when I started crying, but I found myself sobbing silently in the darkness. All of these emotions washed over me and I just let it all out. Life is so unfair. I was sick of feeling so sad. I felt like I'd already used up all my tears recently but then here I was soaking the pillow with my watery eyes.
I thought I heard the bedroom door open but then I figured I must've imagined it. Only, I didn't imagine it. I felt the bed dip down slightly behind me and the covers shifted slightly before warm and strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. His hands were so soft and gentle. I rolled over and snuggled my face into his chest.
"I'm sorry," I said weakly, the tears still streaming down my face.
"Shhh, it's okay," Sean said, holding me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and gripped his back, clinging to him as tight as I could. I continued to cry, mostly in frustration and a feeling of hopelessness regarding my family. Sean's bare chest was damp and my nose started running. He didn't seem to mind though, as he pulled me closer and enveloped me in his warmth. "Shhh," he whispered, putting his hand around the back of my head and running his fingers through my hair. It was soothing.
I found myself starting to calm down a little and I wiped at my nose and sniffled some more. "Sorry about that," I whispered apologetically.
"Don't be," he said, putting a finger to my lips and pulling me back down to him. He kissed my lips sweetly and then I laid my head back on his bare chest. He felt so warm and his arms were so inviting.
"I love you," I murmured as I found myself drifting off to sleep. He ran the back of his hand lovingly over my cheek.
"I love you Jake," he whispered, putting his hands around my back. I smiled hearing that and promptly fell into a deep sleep.
* * * *
My phone was vibrating on the nightstand. I groaned and kept my eyes closed. They were still so heavy with sleep. I wasn't sure I was even fully awake. It stopped and I smiled as I felt Sean's arms still around me. My head was resting on his shoulder. He smelled so unbelievably good. He was the sweetest guy ever for holding me last night and calming me down. I loved him so much. He must've fallen asleep shortly after I did.
"Good morning babe," he mumbled, his voice raspy as he had just woken up. I grinned. It sounded so sexy.
"Good morning. You stayed," I murmured, snuggling my face into his neck. Mmm I loved how he smelled.
"Of course I did. I'm sorry for yesterday," he said.
"Hmm. It doesn't...ma-matter," I yawned. He craned his neck slightly and kissed my forehead.
"I don't wanna fight with you ever again," he said. I felt his warm breath on my forehead. I couldn't help but smile.
"Never again...me either," I replied.
"Did someone call you?" He asked, rubbing his fingers up and down my arm.
"I don't know. I heard my phone vibrate," I replied. I felt him lift his head up and then shift he body slightly, reaching over me for my phone on the nightstand.
"You smell so good," I mumbled, gripping his waist.
"You are so cute in the morning," he replied, leaning back down. I blinked and opened my eyes. He looked so handsome laying there with his perfect chest in full view. I couldn't resist running my hand across it and brushing my fingers on his nipples.
"Your dad text you," he said, looking over at me,
"What did he say?" I asked. Sean's eyes flicked back to my phone to read the text.
"He says he's sorry for last night and that he wants to go to lunch," he read, returning his gaze to me and raising and eyebrow. "What happened last night?"
"He was here, wanted to talk," I muttered. Sean reached down and kissed my cheek.
"And?" He asked expectantly. I shrugged.
"Er, it didn't go too well. I told him to leave. I don't really want to go to lunch with him," I replied.
"Well it would be good for you guys, maybe you can work things out, or at least begin to," Sean said.
"Yeah, unless he gets angry with me again," I shrugged.
"He got angry with you? Why?" Sean asked. I felt his body tensing under me. I twirled my fingers up and down on his chest.
"I just wasn't in the mood last night. I was worried about you and our fight, so I kind of got lippy with him," I explained. Sean grimaced.
"I'm sorry Jake I should've called. I just figured you wanted some space. I'm sorry. I won't do that again. You mean too much to me. I can't stay upset with you. I don't want you to be upset with me either," he said. I held my hand up, stopping him.
"It's okay really. I don't want to be upset with you either, or you with me, I love you." I pecked him on the lips.
"I love you too," he said, then looked over at the clock. It was 7:15. "I need to get up soon for work," Sean groaned. I chuckled.
"I forgot it's Monday and you're going back after being off. You didn't have to take off for me you know," I told him.
"I wanted to, you needed me. Plus my boss was generous and let me have more time off then I otherwise would have taken," he chuckled.
"Which I'm extremely grateful for. I got more time with you," I said, bringing my face close to his. For a long while we stared into each others' eyes.
"You should think about lunch with your dad, just think about it okay?" He finally said.
"I will," I promised, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me passionately on the lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I felt like a fire was being lit inside my stomach as I deepened the kiss. God he made me feel so incredible. His kisses always left me breathless. He suddenly jumped up out of the bed and grinned at me.
"Wanna shower with me?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.I suddenly got nervous seeing as how he reacted last time we did anything. He noticed."Hey, it's just a shower you pervert," he teased, a beautiful smile crossing his face. I punched him in the arm. "You don't have to."
"No I want to, but only if you're okay with it." I replied. He snorted."I'm the one who asked." I untangled myself from the sheets and stood up. He grabbed my hand and dragged me off to the ensuite bathroom.