Have you ever felt a pain so raw, like your heart was ripped from your chest?
I have.
The pain comes and goes in waves.
One minute your consumed.
The next your numb.
But here's the thing, I knew every cruel word he wrote was a lie.
I knew exactly what he was doing.
He said I didn't know him.
But I do.
He said it was never a friendship.
That I was a game to him.
He's a terrible fucking liar.
Trying to push me away, because he has no faith in himself.
For too long the world has told him he's not enough.
Everyone wants to meet him, but few take the time to know him.
He's not perfect, as you can see.
His flaws overshadow his heart.
But he chose to break me with those words.
He chose.
He took me out of the equation.
Erased me from his life.
I tried to text him,but he blocked my number.
I reached out to Scooter and Pattie, and they couldn't even get him to reason.
When theres a fracture in a normal friendship, you can try and move on.
You may eventually run into them, but they aren't constantly in your face.
Not like when your bestfriend was Justin Bieber.
Justin Bieber who's new album was being played on every radio station.
Justin Bieber who's face was on every magazine.
Justin Bieber who was on every talk show.
Imagine, you can't even watch Ellen, your favorite TV show without seeing him.
I couldn't even hate him.
Because I knew the truth.
We were connected in a rare friendship before anything else.
I kept thinking about all the times we've spent together.
Like that one time......
We were at his house, and we were bored as hell.
We had exhausted our board game wars.
We could never agree on what to watch. Justin could sit and watch Step Brothers 24/7. And we did, but sometimes a girl needs a romantic comedy every now and then.
I tried to get him to watch Notting Hill with me,and that boy made ridiculous comments through the whole damn movie.
We ended up in a pillow fight after that one.
We rarely went out in public thanks to the paps.
That night, being bored.
We came up with the most crazy ways to entertain ourselves.
It started with fruit loops...
I was hungry and grabbed a box of fruit loops. Naturally the best way to eat them is by shoving them in your mouth by the handful.
"Twinkles, good God woman, didn't your parents teach you how to eat without looking like a wild boar?"
My mouth was too full of said cereal, but I was gonna make him pay for that one.
So I walked up to him with a handful of loops while crushing them.
Then I dumped the handful on his head.
And ran like hell!
"Oh you better run, because when I catch you, your getting fruit loop mush smeared on your face. I'm gonna chew em up nice and good myself!"
Here's the thing, you can't outrun Justin.
The boy is fast as hell.
I tried to jump over the couch and he tackled me into the cushions.
He then licked the side of my face with a tongue full of fruit loop mush.
But I knew his weaknesses.
Justin Bieber was ticklish.
Especially on his sides,right above his waist.
He didn't stand a chance.
"Fuuuuck,Twinkles....please...stop...I'm gonna pee my pants. You don't fight fair."
He was right.
But at least I stopped before he wet the couch. 😆
We ended up trying to outdo each other in a fruit loop stacking competition.
He won of course.
We decided to try our hand at making pancakes, trying to stick with the breakfast food kick we were on.
Justin was stirring the batter and I was doing pirouettes around the kitchen.
So of course he had to try his hand at being a ballerina.
He wasn't half bad.
"Awww look at Ogre, the pretty ballerina!"
"You're just mad at my sick skills Twinkles. Bet you can't do as many somersaults as me!"
"Ogre your gonna lose this battle, silly stupid competitive boy!"
We then began somersaulting throughout the entire first floor of his house.
Not sure who won that one.
We both ended up with headaches and hunger pains.
We spent the rest of the night eating pancake batter outside in the backyard on the grass.
We shared a wooden spoon and a bowl of batter mixed with fruit loops.
Just talking about any and everything.
And once again fell asleep next to each other.
That was us.
It wasn't a game.
It was a connection.
A rare friendship.
I didn't know what to do with myself.
I just knew that I had to try.
I wasn't blind to the fact that he was drinking and smoking again.
Or about the girls that were photographed leaving his hotel's at all hours of the night.
I knew we was spiralling out again.
I couldn't stand by and watch it happen.
Whether he liked it or not, I wasn't going to let it happen.
Did he deserve my forgiveness?
Did he deserve my friendship?
Some people would say Hell No!
My heart said Absolutely
I knew he was more than a bestfriend.
But I was willing to push that down.
To be his friend first.
I was gonna show him what a true friend looked like.
Without anyone knowing, I was able to get a ticket to the Purpose tour.
A Pit B pass.
His first show on the tour.
I went alone.
I was prepared for his possible rejection again.
But knew I had to be there.
His fans recognized me as I stood in the pit with them.
They whispered and took my photo.
But as he floated up in that glass box...
Everyone around me disappeared.
My eyes were locked on him and him alone.
I really didn't think he'd know I was there.
But somehow his eyes found mine.
The rest of the world wasn't there.
It became a private affair between the two of us.
He would preform a song and then look me straight in the eye,almost to make sure that I hadn't disappeared.
Towards the end he sat down on the stage,between each of the pits.
He angled his body toward me.
The music started.
Somehow I was slowly being drawn towards him.
He looked down at me.
And mouthed
"You came"
He reached for my hand.
I reached for his.
Once they connected
He began singing
Life is Worth Living.
All his cruel words,his lies...
They evaporated in that moment.
We eventually let go of each other.
He went on to finish the show.
Another hand reached for mine.
It was Pattie.
She wrapped me up in a hug and took me backstage.
Pattie walked me into Justin's dressing room.
Before she turned to leave, she whispered
"He's broken, but that doesn't mean he can't be fixed.
Be the glue that fixes his fractured pieces."
All I could do was nod
Time stood still
Until he walked in.
He came rushing in and then stopped like a deer in headlights.
"Twinkles "
He slowly walked closer.
"Every word I said was a lie"
Our foreheads leaned in to touch.
"You deserve better. I had to make you believe the lie."
Our hands connected.
"I never did believe the lie,Ogre.
Bestfriends don't give up on each other.
It hurt badly.
But your my person."
I didn't know what was going to happen next between us.
I just knew that we needed each other.
Mama said there'd be boys like him.
Boys like him.
A/N: These two are taking me on a roller coaster ride.
I never know what's going to happen until I start writing their story.
I just let it spill out.
It's sloppy. It's sappy. It's complicated.
Most love stories are.
I listened to
"Boys like You by Anna Clendening"
while writing this chapter.
Check it out.
And please let me know what you think!
Reassurance with these two is life!