Jacob's POV
Watching from behind the couch as my mate and his family had their moment, my heart was full. The smile I sent Connor as he peered at me from over Kayden's shoulder was nothing other than purely genuine. However, that didn't stop my heart from hurting.
Connor's story, of him being beaten, violated, kept in a cage, it formed a weight in my chest that only seemed to sink. My beautiful, strong mate was hurt so much, for so long. Part of me wanted to scream, break things, sprint into the belly of the beast and rip every person in that hell hole who laid a finger on Connor to pieces. Granted, that was the animalistic part of me and my wolf agreed. He was seething with rage. The other part wanted to hold Connor in my arms and never let go. It wanted to sob at the thought of my mate being harmed.
Granted those self-deprecating thoughts were also still sitting there in the back of my mind, whispering. I'm not good enough. I can't help Connor. I'm not strong enough. Connor deserved someone strong to help him carry the weight of this right along with him. I could barely carry my own baggage without shattering, what good am I going to be to Connor now?
I shook my head, trying my best to distract myself from that particular voice. My meetings with Kayden now had been partly me learning techniques on how to be an active listener, how to help Connor during nightmares and panic attacks as he started getting flashbacks and remembering his past. The other had been dealing with my issues, learning to differentiate between constructive thoughts and destructive thoughts. I was supposed to refute any destructive thoughts with constructive ones.
I closed my eyes and dropped my head, trying to focus on breathing and maintaining constructive thoughts. The voice wanted to tell me I wasn't good enough but I think, for now, I'm handling myself pretty well, especially since I managed to get Connor to smile after a nightmare. And, even though I may not have the strength to handle all of Connor's trauma alone, I won't have to. Kayden and Paxton and the rest of Connor's family all cared and were willing to help, both with Connor and with me. I had to remember that.
I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, looking up to see Aria and Emery peeking around the doorway from the kitchen nervously. A smile pulled at my face as I looked toward them.
"What's going on?" Aria asked, walking up next to me with Emery beside her, clutching her hand. He looked nervously at the display in front of us.
"Well, Connor's memories came back. All of them, I believe." I say, trying to keep my voice light and my expression soft, so as not to scare Emery even more.
Aria whipped her head around to look at me. "Really?" She nearly yelled, her eyes the size of saucers.
I nodded and she nearly tripped over herself, yanking her hand out of Emery's grasp and running over to join the group hug her family was sharing.
When I looked back to Emery, he seemed a little shaky and maybe even pale. My heart raced a little. Everything in him was telling me to help him, to ease his nerves but I wasn't really sure how. I wiped my hands on my pants before shifting a step over so I was next to him and then squatted a little so I was closer to his height.
"Hey," I said before placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked over at me, his green eyes wide, almost hidden beneath the curtain of blonde hair covering them. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly, trying not to let how nervous I was show in my voice.
He looked back at the family before dropping his gaze down to his feet. "He remembers everything? All of it?" Emery's voice came out quiet, I could barely hear him over the sniffles and voices of Connor and the others.
"I believe so. It seemed like it when he was telling me what happened. Why?" I asked, trying to employ Kayden's active listening tactics. I kept my eyes on Emery, even though he wasn't listening.
"He just... he seemed so happy before. When he didn't remember, he was happy. Isn't he gonna be sad now that he remembers? Sometimes... sometimes I wish I didn't remember." He paused for a second and I scrambled, trying to find something to say before he spoke up again. " And also... I don't want him to be mad at me."
At this point, Emery's tone had shifted and I was almost positive he was about to cry.
"Hey." I said, dropping to my knees and using his shoulders to turn him toward me, trying to get him to look at me. "Emery, why would Connor be mad at you?"
He sniffled and wiped his arm across his nose before responding. "I didn't warn him. Not quick enough. Connor had looked back to see if the bad people were catching up and I saw the cliff come up ahead of us. I tried to say something, to warn him but I couldn't get the words out in time, I was too out of breath, I-I-" And he broke, a sob making it's way out.
"Hey, hey, no." I pulled Emery against me. He immediately folded against me. His arms around my neck and his head resting on my shoulder. "It's not your fault and Connor would never blame you. And I know what you went through wasn't good but now that Connor can remember everything, he can be properly happy. He can remember how much his family meant to him and he can remember meeting you."
"You really think so?" He sniffled, shifting and squeezing my neck a little tighter. I managed to look up to see Connor already looking at me as his family hug broke apart and he started making his way over to us.
"I do," I responded, pulling him away from me to look into his bloodshot eyes and smile. "But why don't you ask him yourself?"
His bottom lip quivered as Connor called his name. I watched as Emery turned to see Connor spread his arms open. Emery was hugging his waist before the words, "Come here," even left his lips.
I straightened up, looking over to see Paxton coming around the other side of the couch. My spine straightened. No matter how close we had gotten over the years, my alpha, and now the father of my mate, still intimidated me.
Paxton's hand fell on my shoulder but the grip didn't suggest any aggression. "You did well with Emery," he said.
"Um, thank you," I responded.
He nodded, his eyes shifting from his son to me. "Did you talk at all about what happened with him?"
I could feel my mood shift almost instantly, my body tensing and this time my wolf mainly controlled my thoughts. I knew Paxton could sense it too, as his grip on my shoulder tightened almost cautiously. My breathing quickened, trying to get my rage back in control.
"Okay, we obviously need to talk to Connor and Kayden in private about this. I can tell that you and me are probably going to need some help controlling our rage after all of this. Hopefully some of her squad of rogues will try something so we can rip them apart."
My wolf seized control for a quick moment at the mention of ripping apart the people responsible for Connor's pain, growling quietly in agreement, before I was able to get him back under control.
My wolf and I had always had a weird relationship. While we can shift from as early as a couple moths old and the bond between a man and his wolf, as far as we know, is always there. My wolf, though, was always pretty latent and he was especially distant before Connor came back. Thinking back on it now, it was probably because we had lost someone very important in our life, our best friend, our future mate. Now that we met our mate, that we have Connor back, my wolf has been much more active, emotive, and even angry. I guess it made sense, my wolf was a warrior, born to protect the pack. That protectiveness obviously extended to my mate.
I took a deep breath, calming myself and nodding.
After the happy reunions finished up and Emery had calmed down, Emery and Aria went to go play in the backyard while Connor and I got some breakfast. Paxton and Kayden joined us in the kitchen, sitting at the table as I prepared us some cereal and toast. I plopped down in the seat next to Connor after having brought over two bowls of Fruity Pebbles, a plate of toast already spread with butter, and two glasses of orange juice.
Connor dug in as I took a sip of my orange juice and regarded Paxton and Kayden nervously. They were staring at us, Connor in particular, as we ate our breakfast. Their hands were both on the table, Kayden's right fiddling with the fingers on Paxton's left absentmindedly. They were both obviously deep in thought, probably worried about Connor's mental state.
Paxton called out Connor's name as Connor came up for air, taking a sip of orange juice. His eyes flicked up, seemingly noticing for the first time that there was an air of tension in the room. He swallowed and smiled a little. "Yeah?"
"Can you - are you able to tell us anything about what happened?" Paxton asked gently. Kayden interlaced his fingers with Paxton's, squeezing his hand.
I looked back at Connor to see that the smile had slid off his face and he had shrunken in on himself a little. I could almost smell his fear and my wolf whimpered within me, wanting to pick up our mate and hold him close. He should never be scared again.
Compromising with my wolf, I reached over and grabbed Connor's hand, squeezing reassuringly. Connor glanced up at me, offering me a weak smile before turning his attention back to the table. He took a deep breath before giving them an abridged version of what he had told me earlier.
I kept my eyes closed the whole time, focusing only on my breathing, the sound of his voice, and the feeling of his hand in mine. Distantly, I could hear the quiet whimpers and cries of Kayden as he listened to his son recount the horrors he had experienced. I was just trying my best to control my wolf.
This time around, he was a little less worried about comforting Connor and more about hunting down the fuckers that hurt him and ripping them apart. I could feel similar vibes coming across the table, radiating powerfully from Paxton, which was only making it harder for me to control myself. Our alpha wanted to exact vengeance on those who hurt his son, and my wolf was ready to follow him.
"Wait," Connor said between sniffles. My eyes opened and looked to my mate. His bottom lip was quivering and his eyes were a little bloodshot but as far as I could see, he wasn't crying. "I think I remember something. Dad, I think their forces are going to attack us." He breathed, looking up at Paxton and my gaze turned to him as well.
Paxton was clutching Kayden's hand like a life line, obviously trying to maintain control over his wolf. His eyes kept flickering between their natural light green and the brilliant bright blue of his wolf. He closed his eyes and took a breath, centering himself before opening them again, revealing a steady green. "What do you mean?" He asked.
"I could hear people talking all the time. I studied them, what they said what they did, so I could get out and when I did, so I would have information. We were right about my first vision. Originally, Sadie's plan was to kidnap Rayne, to use him against her brother and hurt him. When that failed and she knew she wouldn't be able to get back into our compound, she formed a new plan. She was going to build up her numbers, keep me as a bargaining chip, and attack when she was strong enough. She was going to use me to weaken you and, eventually, take over your pack. The attack she was planning, when I was there, was going to happen on July 25th, which is a week from now, right?"
I stared at Connor. He had gained more confidence, more control over his emotions as he spoke, which just made my wolf want to puff out his chest in pride at his strength. However, a shred of fear ripped through me. There was going to be an attack on our pack in a week. I was a trained wolf of age in our pack, which meant if we were attacked, I was expected to be in the lines protecting my people.
I looked back over at Paxton, who had now shifted so he was cradling a crying Kayden into his chest. "Well, then. It looks like we are going to have to prepare ourselves for a fight."