Eleven
It's been nine days. It's been nine entire days since Niall and I had come home the night of the party. It's been nine days since I've begun to notice changes in Niall again. They weren't like before; in the days where we fought about how to start our family. Actually, we don't even fight anymore. I think it's because I try my best not to bring up that I think Niall is being different lately.
During the weekend, Niall wasn't working since his project was going into its next phase: promotion. That meant that all the work that his group had done would be shown to the potential clients. There was nothing any of them could do outside of the office. I was a little glad about that because that might give Niall a chance to breathe for a bit and give him time to think of other things as well.
The other thing that was maybe the problem could be involving Grace. If that was it then maybe I should have asked Niall about it. If he was feeling uncertain about her then, as much as it pains for me to admit, then we shouldn't have replied to that email saying we were interested. I know that Niall has told me that he's okay and just scared. maybe just telling me that so I wouldn't be on him about it all the time was his way of getting me to stop pressing at his feelings.
I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the one who is just scared, which is being masked by all my buzz and excitement.
It's a Sunday afternoon now. I was currently in the kitchen making tea for Niall and I, waiting for the water to boil up in the kettle my mum had bought for us when I moved into a brand new house with Niall. She told me that a house didn't feel like a home without one. My mum was all about that close-knit feeling of family. She has always been that sort of woman.
I think I would call her up if we received the news that we were going to be having Grace. I don't know if she'd come by to help us out. We might want to try all this out on our own. Plus, Grace wasn't ours forever; so would there even be a point to introduce her to my mum? It was just going to be another person Grace had to get used to being around. That could be too stressful and I certainly didn't want to create that atmosphere during this entire process. I didn't want to make my mum a temporary grandmother either.
I had a few things to focus on with work, especially tomorrow since I would be meeting with my boss in the morning to discuss my partial departure. I was so relieved that he had been so fine with it and he wasn't just doing it so it didn't look like he was discriminating against gays in the workplace. I didn't think my boss was even that kind of man. Niall and I didn't even know if we would be getting her yet so I would probably be let back in like this meeting tomorrow never happened.
I know I need to think about those kinds of things. That's what Niall would probably tell me to do. What happened if we didn't get chosen? Of course, I'd feel heartbroken at first but then I just have to move on and get back to my life. Niall would continue working as well. Then, knowing my persistence, I'd try to get a family all over again somehow. I was never going to stop trying when it came to having a family with Niall.
As per usual I went onto our computer and logged onto my email. This time I was strictly just going to sign into my work account to see if there were any last minute things I just had to do before my time away from working. I had about twelve emails to answer, which I would do once my tea was ready. I think it would relax me and keep me from not getting tired with all these emails I had to type out; some of them would probably be rather lengthy.
Just before heading back into the kitchen to see if teatime was ready to be had, I decided to check my home email address to see if my mum or any other relatives had sent me any emails.
You have (2) Unread Messages.
Louis Tomlinson: Saving Grace-Final...
The was where I had stopped reading before I nervously pushed away from the desk. I couldn't even shout for Niall because I felt like my throat was too chocked up from even being able to say his name as my mind went on a whirlwind. My hands went to my chest and my fingers tapped against one another as I began walking around the house slowly, looking for Niall with a petrified look on my face. The final decision had been made. It was either going to be a final 'yes' or 'no'.
I couldn't stomach tea anymore.
I found Niall lounging on the couch. He had one arm propped behind his head as he searched for something to watch on the television with the remote.
I didn't clear my throat or anything to make my presence known. I just stood there helplessly until Niall figured out that I was there and I was sure the state I was in, pre-shock, would worry him a bit.
"Harry, love," Niall's voice sounded casual at first, his head never turning to look at me, "is the tea almost ready? I think I'll have some and," he stopped when he finally acknowledged me with his eyes. He set the remote down by his leg and began to sit up. "Harry, is everything okay? Come here and sit down." He moved his legs for me to sit with him.
Even if my legs felt heavy I didn't think I could sit down until I was in the computer chair again, reading the final email we may ever receive from Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik.
"Harry, can you talk to me?" His voice dropped so it was much softer. His face probably mirrored the expression that mine had.
One of my hands lifted from my chest to scratch behind my ear as I spoke incoherently before I mumbled, pointing towards the front room. "Louis, Zayn, email."
He nodded. "Okay, let me get up and then we can go look at them." He spoke to me calmly like I was some skittish animal that was ready to bolt at any moment, my eyes watching his every movement.
After Niall stood and walked over to me, he placed his arm across my shoulders as we walked back over to the computer. At this point my heart was beating rapidly in my chest and, through Niall's warmth, I could feel his as well. It was almost in-sync with my own.
"Do you want to sit in the chair or stand?" His hand rubbed up and down my back as he guided my body into the chair. The light from the screen illuminated his face as he glanced up at it after he made sure I didn't miss the chair. "Okay," he said as he let out a breath, "are you ready?"
"I think so, but, I'm scared that it's gonna tell us that we haven't been picked." I confessed to him as I looked down to my lap, shaking my head. "I don't if I can handle this sort of rejection."
"We won't find out any other way and if they don't want us, we just have to remember that they've found someone who can really tend to her needs. Someone's going to be the help that all of us want for her, Harry. We can feel sorry about it for a little while but then we need to remember that Grace and her family are so happy that she's going to get this chance at living a longer life." Niall told me and I already felt like I wanted to cry.
I wanted it to be us.
Louis Tomlinson: Saving Grace-FInal...
To: All, zmalik@ah2h.org.uk
From: Heart4Grace@ah2h.org.uk
Subject: Saving Grace-Final Decision
Good evening to all that have continued this journey with us. It is in my deepest and fondest gratitude to each and every family that has been on this journey with us thus far. As the subject of this email states, the final decision has been made.
Now, if you go to the 'A Heart to Hold' web page, you will see that Grace's name is no longer on the list of children in need and there will be a new blog entry from her father, Louis Tomlinson. He will be documenting small bits of Grace's journey to keep anyone who still cares updated on things that are going on with Grace.
We thank you all again for the time spent with us!
Zayn Malik
'A Heart to Hold'
zmalik@ah2h.org.uk
"What's the other one?" Niall asked me once I was finished reading the email out loud to him. I felt this sense of confusion because my answer wasn't coming through clearly to me.
"Um, I don't know." I said as I glanced over to see who the sender was. It was from Zayn so I didn't think twice about clicking on it and opening it to see what else he had to say. Maybe he just wanted to personal thank us for wanting to be involved with Grace Tomlinson's case since he didn't really mention who was the family chosen.
Zayn Malik: 'A Heart to Hold...
To: Harry.Styles.@yahoo.co.uk
From: zmalik@ah2h.org.uk
Subject: 'A Heart to Hold' Welcomes You!
Dear Mr. Harry Styles and Mr. Niall Horan,
After much consideration and screening, we have both had numerous conversations about who is the best fit for Grace Tomlisnon that we have come to a conclusion.
So, it is with our consent that the two of you have been selected to care-take for Miss Grace Tomlinson during her needed time as she braves a heart condition surgery that she will be receiving, which thanks to people like you who have reached out. We at 'A Heart to Hold', as well as Grace and Louis Tomlinson, welcome you to our family!
Louis and I hope to hear from you soon to get planning and to set up your official meeting with Grace Tomlinson!
Zayn Malik
'A Heart to Hold'
zmalik@ah2h.org.uk
"It's-it's us!" I said loudly as I pointed to the screen and then my head shot up to look at Niall. "Us!" I pointed between Niall and myself a few times as I tried my best to register what exactly was going on. We have been selected for Grace. We were going to meet Grace. She was going to be staying with us. Niall and would be taking care of a baby together. We were the ones who were going to fix her heart and give her that life Niall spoke so fondly of. I was going to get to experience this with Niall, the love of my life.
I don't really remember when I had jumped from the chair but my first instinct was to get my arms around Niall and hold him tightly, celebrating our victory. The victory wasn't because we beat anyone out. The victory was that we were going to get the chance to experience all of this with Grace, Louis, Zayn, and most of all, together.
Once I finally pulled away from Niall, I couldn't help but swallow back by the way he was looking at me. His hands came up from my sides and gently held my face. His thumbs softly wiped over my cheeks and I felt as my happy tears were damply being wiped along my cheeks. I continued watching Niall.
"It's us, baby." Niall told me through a weak chuckle before he pulled my face close to kiss my lips.
The decision didn't feel real but the feeling of Niall's lips on mine sure did. He was so warm as he held me to him. His lips were so soft as the slowly moved over mine.
In that moment we both felt this was our second beginning.