XI.
This morning Will woke up with a little surprise. It was a surprise because it hadn't happen to him for years, but here he was lying in bed and feeling all hot and desperate.
There was this wet dream he had and he didn't know what it was all about but he knew it was explicit. He still felt the imaginary hands on his hips and the urge to feel something that was more, more than this. Maybe, he thought, he already had come in his pants and he needed a lot of courage to take a look, but his pants were still dry. Will let the bed sheets down again and sighed. He could take a cold shower now or he could just go for a quick wank. Before he even could decide what to do his hand wandered on it's on down his trousers and under his boxer short. The first touch hurt, it was just too sensitive and he needed to cum so bad.
Will didn't take his time; he didn't give himself much of foreplay and just went right to it. He started to stroke himself slowly but quickly got faster. This wasn't all for pleasure he just need to cum, he need to release the pressure that was building up in him. He felt blood rushing through his head, his heart beating loud and almost too fast. Will's face was hot and he was probably bright red by now so he just closed his eyes tried to concentrate on the sensation while his grip was getting harder.
He imagined big hands, rough movements and pink lips. There were images off an adam's apple and messy short hair.
Will never was one to be loud so he was surprised at himself when he accidentally let out a quiet whimper. This was still not enough so his other hand made its way to his mouth, his fingertips resting on his bottom lip and because his mouth was now wide open he couldn't help himself but let out a shy moan. He was close and he could feel it building up from his toes to his stomach.
The sensation was getting stronger and now he just held his breath, sensing the orgasm building up. Will's chest tighten, everything in him screamed after air but he forced himself to wait. He made a few last strokes, let his finger rub over his tip when he finally came hard. A loud moan coming out of his lips, his muscles tensed up and a shudder ran trough him. His heart pounded against his throat and finally he was breathing again.
The orgasm was overwhelming and it was one of the strongest he had in a long time. It took Will he few minutes to calm down again. His skin was all sticky and he made a real mess in his shorts.
The embarrassment crept upon him and he really hoped his roommate hadn't heard anything.
Standing in the bathroom, clothes undressed and looking in the big mirror he felt dirty. There wasn't a reason to be ashamed, after all this was just natural and it was definitively not the first time for him but he couldn't ignore the fact that he still felt desperate. He needed more, he needed a good shag and there was nothing to deny about it.
His eyes wandered over his body and it wasn't a new thing that he noticed how thin he had gotten for the past few month. Will let himself go, didn't take much care anymore about his health and he knew it was because I didn't feel well. This whole questioning and being helplessly in love was no good to him.
When he was in the middle of taking a shower, a cold one to punish himself, he heard how his phone beeped. Somebody probably had sent him a message and Will regretted not to just mute his phone for times like this. He finished the shower and dried himself sloppy. While he brushed his teeth he took his phone and looked who was getting on his nerves.
It was no one other than George, asking him if he was down to go to a house party today. Apparently he knew some guy who knew somebody who made a big party at his house this evening and now he wanted some company. Will blow dried his hair and thought about to turn George down but maybe it would do him good to go out for once. So he agreed to his offer and asked in the same sentence who was coming with them.
When Will entered the living room he came across Gee, who just greeted him with a knowing look on her face and Will could have died there and now. He never was going to be this loud when he was getting off.
Back in his room Will put on his favorite shirt and jeans, the one with the holes right where the knees were and turned on his computer. The video he had planned had to be online in a few hours and he still wasn't finished with cutting it, but according to his watch he still had some time left before he had to get ready for the party.
-
The music was loud, the room was full of people Will didn't know but here he was, standing in the kitchen watching George how he tried to mix him a drink.
"George... come on just make something quick." Will's urge to drink was massive but it took George like ages to finish. "What are you even trying to mix?"
George gave him a sulky look, the vodka bottle still in his right hand. "Trust me for once."
Will just nodded and let George do what he needed to do. He let his eyes wander around. There really were a lot of people he haven't seen before but he quickly noticed James and Alex standing in one corner of the living room, talking with each other, Fraser stood next to them but didn't seem to be much interested in the conversation. Will wondered if Fraser and James had made up yet and what they even had argued about.
"Here we go." Will looked down to George who just had poured pineapple juice in the two cocktails.
"Now I'm curious what you created." Will took a sip and immediately noticed the big amount of alcohol. He coughed a little surprised. "How much vodka did you put in these?"
But George just laughed and also took a sip. "It's good, isn't it?"
Will just mumbled something but still took another sip. He wanted to get drunk anyway, so why not go for it? While George made his way searching said friend he was invited by, Will decided to keep the other boys some company.
"Hi Will, where have you been?" James greeted him with a big smile.
"George wanted to show me his mixing talents." Will answered without big enthusiasm. Maybe James didn't noticed or he ignored it, but he reached for Will's glass anyway.
"Let me try." He watched while James took a big gulp and grimaced. "Well, this is strong."
Right next to him, Alex giggled at James' funny face. "But it's good I guess." James added and Will just shrugged with his shoulder.
"I let the next one be mixed by Alex." He looked over to him. "You're way better at mixing than George." Will let his hand rest on Alex' shoulder, who gave in on his touch. "I know. George's shit at it. I promise I make you a better one."
Will grinned as a response. "Thanks."
He was happy that his friends came along, without them he would have felt pretty lost at this place. George wasn't even to be seen, god knew where he was.
It didn't take long till Will first felt the alcohol going to his head and it mixed up with the blunt he had smoked at home before coming. He felt how he loosen up, laughing more easily at James bad jokes and it made him happy to be right next to Alex, for once he wasn't feeling uncomfortable in his presence. With a last sip Will finished his cocktail and pressed his hand tighter at Alex shoulder. The shorter one looked up at him with wondering eyes.
"You promised me a drink." Will noted and Alex nodded knowingly. "Sure, show me the kitchen."
Alex really was better at mixing and now Will was standing at the big balcony with a colorful cocktail, his friend was standing right next to him and they were sharing a cigarette. The night was warm and in the distance you could hear the chirping of crickets. Down at the back yard a few people were standing at a pool which glowed in a bright neon blue.
"Here." Alex gave him the cigarette and Will took a deep drag.
"I'm sorry about the other day." His friend stated and Will knew he meant it. "Don't be. I was just too harsh. Could have told you right away that I don't like talking about it." Will returned the half smoked cigarette. He looked while Alex' eyes wandered back at the people under them. Dancing and having fun.
"I just..." He made a pause. "I just kept thinking about it." Will raised his eyebrows and Alex sighed. "Never thought that you and James... it just surprised me, you know."
Will could have stopped his friend right here and now, changing the subject. But the alcohol had made him lose control about being rational so he just hummed.
"Alex..." He didn't know what to say, or how he could start to explain all the mess that was going on. "James and I... the thing we had was just a fling. Nothing serious."
Alex put the cigarette out in the next ashtray. "So, I was right? You two had something?" His voice was quiet and Will had a hard time to even understand him probably.
"God Alex, James and I just shared a few drunken kisses that was about it." Will took a big gulp of his cocktail. He needed it.
"But, do you like him?" Will shook his head in despair. "No, no we don't have feeling for each other, at least I don't have. We just kinda... comforted each other I guess."
Now Alex was the one who looked confused. The neon light of the pool shining on his face was a beautiful contrast to his pink cheeks.
"Oh? What do you mean?" Will knew Alex just wanted to be kind. He just wanted to be a friend to him and listen and maybe he was curious, who wouldn't be at a statement like this.
"Nothing big just..." Will felt his throat tighten and he was choking at his own words. "We're both kind of in a love crisis at the moment and we just comforted each other in a moment of haze."
Will noticed how Alex had started to fumble with the ribbons of his hoodie, his eyes fixated on the ground. "You never told me that you're in a love crisis. I'm your friend you can tell me stuff like this, you know."
The cocktail in his hand felt odd suddenly, so Will finished it and put the glass down on the table behind him.
"Sorry." Was all he managed to say.
"But you trust me don't you?" Will's heart broke a little when Alex looked back at him with worry and Will knew that Alex had taken it personally that he haven't told him.
"Of course I trust you Alex! I just didn't know what to tell you, I'm not even sure what I'm feeling it's just so chaotic..." Will lost the rest of the sentence but he knew he didn't have to finish it for Alex.
"Had this love crisis going on for long?" And Will just nodded in response, he should tell Alex. He should just tell him how he was helplessly in love with him for month now. He should tell him how beautiful he was, how he adored his small pink lips and his big eyes, yes even his sharp teeth. He could just tell him for years how sweet his laugh was or how he smelled like... home and maybe a little bit like vanilla and strawberry or how he kept thinking about his long fingers tracing his skin and...
This was too much and Will felt like he was losing control, the alcohol filling up his head and suddenly his mouth was unbearable dry and there was a rope around his throat because he couldn't breathe anymore.
Alex just looked concerned up to him but Will broke their eye contact and turned his face away.
"...excuse me." He mumbled before he stormed off, leaving a confused Alex behind.
Will didn't know where he was going but he made his way through the crowed of dancing and laughing people till he finally came across James, maybe he had been looking for him or maybe this was just a coincident but here he was looking lost at his friend. James gave him a confused look and before he could ask anything Will grabbed his and dragged him with him. James didn't say a single word. I didn't say anything when they both left the building; he kept silent when they went down the street till they couldn't hear the party music or the loud chatter anymore.
"Will?" James stopped and Will released his friends hand. "Will what happened?"
But Will just stood still and looked at the ground. How stupid was he? What was he doing and since when was he so overtaken by his feelings? James took a few steps in his direction and laid his hands comforting on Will's shoulders.
"Will?" He repeated softly.
"I almost told him." Will could hear how James let out a small sigh.
"What stopped you?" He tried but Will just shook his head.
"James?" The taller men hummed, showed that he was there for him. Will looked up now. He looked up at James worried face.
"When does it stop to hurt?"
He knew nobody had an answer to this, not even James so he didn't accepted him to answer or even to say something and James just hugged him. Will gave in to the hug, he moved his hands around James' back and buried his face deep in his neck.
"We should go home. I let the other boys know, okay?" His face still deep in James' hoodie Will nodded in agreement.