We went back to Bleak Night by carriage. Master kept his distance from me, sitting in the furthest seat. I was nervous myself and didn't know how to act around him. What did that kiss mean? Did Master somehow start to develop feelings for me? Knowing him, he'd probably avoid talking about it.
I knew for sure that it was not another demon's illusion unless Master, himself, was trying to test me. But why? He wouldn't use me as some sort of hypnotism practice. He already knew I was easily fooled by demon tricks.
Master allowed me to get off the carriage first when we arrived. Without looking at me, he walked to his chambers leaving me standing by myself at the gates. Being in his arms and having shared the same air felt like I was soaring through the skies. Feeling his coldness again after that was worse than before. Now I actually knew what it felt like to be the woman he might be interested in. I swatted away those expectations. I would only hurt myself.
Throwing pebbles into Dark Fall Lake, my thoughts were emotionally troubled. The more I thought about the kiss, the more I was tortured by thoughts that Master did love me, but maybe he didn't, and maybe he was just using me. How can one person bring you up so high and then drop you so low?
"Not tending to your Master?" Lord Wu spoke pleasantly and sat down on the stone bench behind me.
Turning around, I watched the smile on his face disappeared when he saw my gloomy expression.
"What's wrong?" He stood up and walked over. "Did Zi Huo say something to you?"
I shook my head. Slowly dragging myself to the pavilion's table, I sat down and said to Lord Wu, "I'm sorry. I don't feel like practicing tonight."
"Did something happen when you went into the city with Zi Huo today?" Lord Wu's voice was harsh and protective. He seemed ready to fight anyone who harmed a hair on my head.
"Nothing."
Kneeling down in front of me, Lord Wu patted my head softly. "He should really cherish you."
By now, I was used to Lord Wu's brotherly affection. I wasn't scared of being close to him.
"Lord Wu, although I don't feel like practicing today... Would it be okay if we just talked for awhile?"
He exhaled and sat down next to me asking, "What do you want to talk about, Little Rong Xin?"
"It's just... I don't really understand Master. He seems like a nice person, but he can be extremely cold, shutting out anyone who wants to get closer. Sometimes he does something that's completely the opposite of his nature. It gets me confused."
"Well, I can tell you that being his friend all these years he's always been like this. Since his ascension to a demon."
I stared at Lord Wu as he explained Master's complex history.
"He wasn't always a demon, you know? People tend to forget that and label him to be an evil monster. That's why he doesn't like to befriend others. Feels like they're below him."
"But why is it that he has taken a liking to you?"
"It can't be helped. I was there by his side through everything."
"Even from before he became a demon?"
"Even from before."
"What was he like before?"
Lord Wu looked into the distance, thinking about what to say. "Like any normal young man in the world of Jianghu. Eager to right the wrongs and bring justice to the enemies that took away the ones they loved."
"You both lost someone to the Immortal Sects?"
He turned to look at me with glistening eyes. "Yeah... We both lost someone."
"I'm so sorry."
"It's all right. My vengeance ended a long time ago. Zi Huo has yet to realize his true mission."
"What is it?"
"That his waiting is over."
"Who was he waiting for?"
Lord Wu smiled, "Just someone he's forgotten."
I recollected, "Ah! The woman, the one from his dreams!"
"Yeah."
"Why though, Lord Wu? Why did he forget her? And why is he waiting for her?"
Sighing, he said, "It's a long story. But to answer your questions, he forgot her after his demon birth. The process of becoming an immortal demon stripped away a lot of his humanity. Ironically he became immortal to live long enough to see her again one day but now cannot even remember her face. Our hatred and intolerance for the Immortal Sects led to us building Bleak Night, which became his new ambition in life. I believe a part of him still wants to remember her even if he, himself, wants to let go."
"She must have been someone very special to him, but..."
"How can he forget her?" Lord Wu finished my question.
I nodded. How could he forget someone he cared for? Someone he loved maybe.
"He thought it was possible Ming Yan was the woman of his dreams. She was the first person to make him weak, but when she didn't return his feelings... He built even more walls to surround himself. The dreams continue to haunt him as if to remind him that he better not forget."
"I see..."
"I have faith in you." Lord Wu tried to encourage me with his words.
"Me?"
"You love him, don't you?"
"I-- I don't know."
"I can tell that you do. You feel at peace with him like you've shared a lifetime together before."
"How did you--"
"Your eyes tell me so."
"Even if I do, he doesn't want me."
"It'll take him awhile to warm up to you. Once he likes you, he's not willing to lose you."
"I won't expect anything from Master. As long as I am in his good graces then I'll be content. And as long as I have you, Lord Wu."
"Me?"
"Yes. With you as my friend, I think I can endure anything."
"Ha. Really?" Lord Wu became shy and smiled at the ground.
"Mm! Sorry I didn't buy you anything when I went to the city today. What do you like? I'll buy it for you next time."
"You don't have to buy me anything. How about next time we go together?"
"Okay! It's a promise."