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"Ain't it crazy when you're love swept? You'd do anything for the one you love..."
Robyn Fenty
Onika screams in pain, writhing in the stretcher. The paramedics are all crowded around her, running their tests and I stand above her holding her hand.
"Blood levels are good! Keep her calm. Keep her calm!" The EMT shouts as I chew my bottom lip nervously.
"B-baby it's gonna be okay. Just breathe. Breathe for me," I whisper past the lump in my throat, but my words fall on deaf ears as Onika screams again.
"Her contractions must be starting," An EMT speaks over her screams,"luckily, we're right by the hospital. I'll just need basic information from you, okay?"
I nod, glancing at the doctor momentarily before focusing back on Onika as she tries to regulate her breathing.
"Whats her name?"
"O-Onika Tanya Maraj," I respond as Onika reaches for my hand, squeezing it.
The questions drag on and on and Onika's cries of pain intensifies as we make our way to the Emergency Room. The vehicle is parked and the silver doors swing open, two EMTs helping pull Onika out. I step out of the vehicle in a daze, my hands shaky and my mouth going dry. I hate hospitals... nothing good ever comes from them...
Everything seems to be drowned out as I follow the medics to a rushed delivery room. I lose them twice before I finally find the right hallway. I'm so confused as to where I'm supposed to be going.
Onika... where's Onika...
"Ma'am. Ma'am. Are you okay?" I hear a female say and my vision refocuses as I see a nurse standing in front of me, her hand on my shoulder. Other nurses behind the reception desk look concerned but I pay them no mind.
"O-Onika. She's having her-"
"Yes. Ms. Maraj is in room 17c. She's not allowed visitors at the moment but you are welcome to look through the window," the nurse says, walking into the direction, I presume, of the room. I follow her down the maze of hallways and outside of a room with a big window. Inside I see Onika being dressed into a hospital gown whilst being wet with sponges on her sweating forehead and body. She's grimacing in pain and I can't help but to get upset that she's going through such pain.
A doctor rushes past me heading to the door. I quickly notice he has a huge needle packet in his hand and I speak out, getting his attention,"a-aye. What's that?"
He stops, breathing heavily and looks through the window to the room,"epidural. Women in labor usually take it. It numbs them."
I shake my head, remembering an article I read months ago,"she doesn't need that. She doesn't want it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Can I come in?" I ask. Much to my dismay, he shakes his head with a very unsure look.
"I-I'm not su-"
"Please," I beg, raising my hands into a prayer motion. He sighs and nods, motioning me to come into the room. He comes in after me, heading to a cabinet and handing me an apron, face mask and gloves.
My throat dry, I quickly put them on with shaky hands. I look up to Onika, who's suddenly calm as the doctors put some type of stand up that brings her knees close to her chest.
"Okay Ms. Maraj, we're gonna need you to remain as calm as possible. Given your circumstances, we're not allowed to give you epidural and you'll have to push through with us. If all terms come to worse, we might have to do an emergency Cesarean Section. Ms. Fenty is here and she'll be your support person," a doctor explains, motioning me to come to her bedside. As I head over there, Onika lets out a cry and wriggles in the bed. I frantically look at the nurses and doctor and they don't seem to be very bothered.
"It's her contractions. It's slowed down from the when her water broke earlier. They'll be more painful but I suspect that things won't stray to her having to get a Cesarean Section."
A nurse speaks after the doctor, from between Onika's legs,"dilation is to an 8 now."
Time passes by and Onika's pain seems to grow worse every minute that she has her contractions. I try to guide her, encouraging her to breathe and letting her know that she's doing good, but even I, myself, am scared for her every time she's experiences pain.
I look into Onika's eyes and see fear clouded in them. I immediately grow sad and frustrated all at once. This baby needs to hurry up and be born already damn.
Onika cries out again and begins writhing in the bed. I squeeze her hand, inhaling sharply when she squeezes back with greater force.
"B-breathe baby.." I tell her as she lets out an ungodly scream. Every doctor in the room seem to jump into action and a doctor leans in towards her legs.
"The contractions are closer together. Okay, mama, we're going to need you to breathe and push when the contractions come," The doctor says.
I'm quiet as Onika squeezes my hand, cursing in Creole and gritting her teeth as she goes through the labor process. My body is shaking and I begin to feel scared for her but I try to remind myself that this is a part of the process of birthing another life.
A doctor snaps a new pair of gloves on and speaks to me," get comfortable Ms. Fenty, you're going to be here for a while."
§§§
"One final push!"A support nurse yells. I look up from the chair and stand up, rushing back to Onika's side.
"Fuck!" Onika screams, sweating beads and lifting her hips, pushing as hard as she can. I dare to look between her legs and see blood pouring out once again, making me queasy. I look away again and inhale, trying to calm myself.
She lets out somewhat of an animalistic scream and the doctors cheer in accomplishment.
But it's quickly quieted once we don't hear the baby's cries. I look at Onika, to see her trying to recover from what she just went through. Then I look at the doctors.
A doctor has the small baby boy across his arm and he slaps the butt two times...
No sound.
Onika makes out a strangled cry,"wh-why is he not crying? what's wrong with my baby? Why is he not crying?!"
I continue holding Onika's hand, preparing for the worse as the doctor repeats what he was doing.
Again, no sound.
Another doctor hurriedly cuts the umbilical cord and something else and takes the baby, carrying him out of the room. Onika is hysterical by now,"bring back my baby! Robyn, don't let them do this."
"Baby, I can't do anything about it..." I say, hanging my head and kissing her hand,"it'll be okay... they're going to see what's wrong."
Onika begins crying as another doctor comes in to clean her up. Her cries of pain and hurt resonates in the half empty room. I know I can't do anything to help her stop from feeling how she's feeling and it hurts me just as well. Just like the night that got us into this...
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, clenching my jaw as I start seeing red. Once I close the door behind me, I rip off the apron and gloves, tossing them into the trash can. I then pace the floor, my mind heavy on the night everything went downhill. Onika's scream I heard from the hallway... seeing her beaten and broken on the bed. Robert's body when I was pulled away from him, bloody and beaten. Then my mind goes to back when I was in the Barbados, enduring the same things she went through. My abusive parents... me finally being free... but killing them was the cost. Maybe this is God's way of giving me karma...
Before I know it, I'm on my knees against a wall with my hands clamped in front of me. I squeeze my eyes shut and start to speak to God, or whoever is up there and can help me and Onika in this time.
Onika Maraj
My throat is sore and I'm more enraged than anything. Robyn left me at this time I really needed her and she wasn't even that big of a help while I was giving birth. And she's been gone for almost thirty minutes, around the same time the doctors left with Kyng. I haven't heard from either the doctors or her yet.
The amount of heartbreak I'm experiencing is excruciating and I can't deal with this...
Just as the thought passes my mind, two doctors come in, looking solemn. My heart twinges and I prepare to hear the worst. One doctor comes to the foot of my bed and speaks.
"Ms. Maraj. Your baby boy is fine for the most part. The reason he was barely making any noise is because he was barely breathing whilst you were in labor. We're lucky that Doctor Allen cut the cords just in time because the baby boy was getting too much distress with it still attached. We have him on machines now and he's sleeping. As for you, get your rest and we'll have him dressed and ready by tommorow morning."
I nod, smiling weakly as the doctor asks,"and what is the baby boy's name?" He takes out a birth certificate template and pulls a pen out of his pocket.
"Kyng. With a Y. Shawn. S-h-a-w-n-. Maraj-Fenty." I say proudly. Robyn walks in as the doctor writes the name down. She looks at me with wide, questioning eyes and I smile, nodding. I watch as she jumps in joy behind me and laugh in relief.
The doctor turns and looks at her and she stops, straightening her clothes and clearing her throat, making me laugh harder.
"I understand your excitement Ms. Fenty." he says, laughing. He then turns back to me, reading from the template,"Kyng Shawn Maraj-Fenty, born July 27th at 2:20 a.m. at five pounds and eleven ounces. Congrats, mama."
I yawn, suddenly feeling tired. Robyn comes to me and kisses my forehead multiple times, praising me and saying how much she loves me. My heart becomes warm as I drift off into the darkness with my son on my mind...
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As stated before, I'm back and I will be updating as long as I get feedback and yall let me know you want it.
How are yall feeling about the birth?
Time jump or no?
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~Trina J.