Texting With The Avengers

By nerdybuckette

13.9K 417 215

You ask your best friend if they can help you find a job, but all they do is give you a phone number. Curious... More

•The Interview•
•Bad Hair Day•
•The Vault•
•Poetry•
•Splat•
•Respect Your Elders•
•Gif-pocolypse•
•Pirates of the Caribbean | Rummaging•
•The Avengers x Animal Crossing Logic•
•Respect Your Elders | Part 2•
•Texting With The Avengers Proudly Presents: The Christmas Special•
•Marvel as Vines•
•Short Text | Hail Octopus•
•The Avengers x Animal Crossing Logic | Part 2•
•He's Baaaaack•
•Short Text | Easter Special•
•James^3•
•Texting With Wanda•
•Loki Love (ft. Deadpool)•

•A Kind Message to Thanos•

682 17 12
By nerdybuckette

You: You evil, satanic, purple, no good, panini-chinned sack of turds.

Thanos: Wait, who are you? Aren't I supposed to be dead rn?

You: Who am I? WHO AM I? I'M A FRIGGIN' AVENGER YOU FILTHY SON OF A SNOT RAG! And I'm texting you to make sure that your afterlife is a complete hell. After all, you deserve it after all the misery that you've caused the rest of the Avengers. And let's not forget the poor fandom that you left sobbing in the theater.

Thanos: Great.

You: So how's your day going?

Thanos: Pretty decent actually.

You: Oh yeah? Is it because you had a perfectly balanced breakfast? Instead of your cereal going snap, crackle, and pop, did it just go snap, snap, and dust? Are you proud of yourself because you did some dusting around the house, you toad? Hm? HM? HMMMM?

Thanos: Actually I . . . uh . . . am in love.

You: HOW DARE YOU THINK I'M EVEN INTERESTED, SWINE!!!!!!

Thanos: No, not with you. I'm in love with Death. Lady Death, actually.

You: Wait . . . so you're actually happier in death?

Thanos: I'm happier with Death. Lol.

You: Disgusting.

You: Hey, I just realized something.

Thanos: What?

You: What kind of phone are you using?

Thanos: An iPhone. Why?

You: SO IT'S AN INFINITY PHONE, HUH? DOES THAT MEAN WHEN YOU UPDATE IT, IT REMOVES HALF OF THE DATA? WAS IT 50% OFF WHEN YOU BOUGHT IT? IS THE BATTERY ALWAYS AT 50% NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU USE IT? WHEN YOU TAKE A SELFIE, DOES ONLY HALF OF YOUR HIDEOUS, UGLY, HIDEOUS, EVIL, HIDEOUS, PURPLE FACE SHOW UP ON THE SCREEN? OH AND DID I MENTION YOU'RE HIDEOUS!?

Thanos: Please calm down.

You: Nope. I can't. Calming down is a superpower that I don't have.

Thanos: Can I not be at peace?

You: AFTER WHAT YOU PULLED!? Of course!

Thanos: Really?

You: NO!

Thanos: Are you not one of the souls that I spared?

You: Well yeah . . .

Thanos: Then you have nothing to be angry about. Let me be at peace with my love.

You: What the f—

You: No reason to—

You: YOU ERASED PEOPLE THAT I LOVED OUT OF EXISTENCE! MY FRIENDS! MY FAMILY!

Thanos: Yes, I am aware.

You: YOU DESERVE TO SUFFER FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

Thanos: Doesn't behaving this way make you just as much of a villain?

You: Uh, no, because I didn't ERASE PEOPLE FROM EXISTENCE.

Thanos: Wow.

Thanos: Can we wrap this up? I have a date with Lady Death in five.

You: AHA! I CAN MAKE YOU MISS YOUR DATE!

Thanos: Or I can just block you.

You: BLOCK ME!?

Thanos: I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier.

You: DON'T YOU DA—

Y/N has been blocked by Thanos.

Thanos: I am . . . inevitable.

Thanos: . . . Oh. I guess I should have said that before I blocked Y/N.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

184K 6.4K 80
Sequel to Good At Surviving. 》It's your time to shine now. Don't let the world sleep on you.《 #3 jamesbuchananbarnes (6/10/21) #1 thefalconandthewint...
661K 21.1K 38
wrong number story; mcu the reader accidentally texts a member of the avengers one day and then a beautifully chaotic friendship grows between them a...
178K 3.4K 31
WARNING! I wrote this more than a year ago, this This story is not purely texting, there is a slight cliche plot. Actually, its a VERY CLICHE plot. L...
44.5K 1.4K 20
18-year-old Kennedy Devine accidentally texts Tony Stark and becomes friends with him and the Avengers. (She also adds her own friends!) What happens...