-Ava's Pov-
My sandals crunch on the gravel beneath my feet as I try to put as much distance between myself and the house as possible.
My mind is a mess right now. A horrible confused mess of emotions. As I feel the tears roll down my face I'm not even sure if it's because of happiness or sadness. God, I'm fucked up.
I curse myself for not driving my own car, now having to resort to either calling a cab or walking. I decide to go with the latter for now, wanting to leave as quickly as possible.
I head towards the front gate, weaving in and out of all the vehicles parked haphazardly on the lawn an driveway.
"Ava!"
I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of Harry's deep voice but continue walking.
"Please wait!"
I'm stopped by a firm yet gentle grasp on my arm. I go over my options, resigning myself to the fact he's not going to let me just leave.
I turn around to face him, trying to avoid his worried gaze, but I can't. I look into his green eyes and I swear he can read my every thought as I look up at him.
"Ava." He says softly, reaching his hands up and whipping the tears off my cheeks with his thumb.
The act feels so intimate, having been so distant with him for so long, I only cry harder.
"Why?" I choke out.
I see the pain in his eyes as he hesitates.
"I... I wanted to." He says quietly, "When I heard it from her myself.. God I wanted to tell you. Even got on a bloody plane and came to L.A. to tell you."
The thought of him coming all the way here to tell me makes my cheeks flush.
"But you didn't."
He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair, "No. I made it all the way to your house before I realized I couldn't."
I look away from him, feeling an immense pain in my chest. Why couldn't he have just told me?
"Would you have believed me?" He asks, seeming almost afraid of the answer.
"I-I don't know." I reply honestly. "I would of wanted to."
His eyes widen in surprise at my words.
"I couldn't take telling you and you turning me away." He breathlessly states. "It would of killed me. May sound mad but by not telling you I still had some hope."
I shake my head at him, trying to understand his reasoning.
"I've never been one to make the best decisions when it comes to you. I tend to make ones that just muck everything up and end up hurting you." He looks down at his feet, ashamed of the truth in his words. "And now here I am, mates with you for two bloody days and I'm already making you cry."
"Harry..."
"No." He cuts me off, "I knew this would happen. I told myself to stay away from you, that I would only hurt you..."
"I told myself the same thing." My voice fades off as I think over the past year.
Without him.
"So where does this leave us?"
My eyes meet his again and I want to tell him. I want to tell him I've thought about him every single day. That I still say to myself that I'm over him every night, knowing full well those words will never hold any truth.
"You were my best friend Ava. I miss that. Please... tell me we can still be friends"
His words hit me like a brick wall, knocking the wind out of me.
Friends.
He wants to be friends.
How naive can I be to think he still really cares for me? Obviously he did when he found out the truth, but that was months and months ago. And things have changed. His feelings have changed. I know Harry and after this revelation, if he wanted more, he would say it.
I look away from him as I feel a few more pieces of my heart break off, disappearing around me like my unsaid words and hidden feelings.
"Please tell me what you're thinking." He begs, his voice soft and caring.
"I think I need to go home." I state, feeling numb all over. This is a lot to take in, and my mind and heart aren't sure how to process it.
"No. Stay."
"I just.... I need to go home."
"Please Ava, just stay. We can have some fun. Just hang out yeah?" His eyes are begging me as he rocks back and forth on his feet.
"How often do you get a chance to witness a properly pissed Louie in a toga?" He adds, a smirk pulling at his lips.
I narrow my eyes at him, cursing him mentally for being so damn cute. I literally just got some major shit dropped on me and he already has me fighting off a smile.
I close my eyes, able to find my resolve once his dimples are hidden from my view.
"Just not in the mood for a crowd right now." I say, trying to sound more composed. At least my tears have stopped, for now anyway.
He nods, "Yeah alright.. so I'll just go with you. Haven't been drinking so I can drive us. My cars right over there."
He points as I shake my head, "No Harry."
"Give me one good reason."
Because I need to be alone so I can cry into my pillow about how you don't love me anymore and eat a whole carton of Ben and Jerrys, I think to myself.
"I just need to figure some things out."
"Alright, I'm a great listener. You know that." He smiles at me, trying desperately hard to lighten the mood.
I shake my head again as he pouts, sticking his bottom lip out like a child,"We can bitch about Harry Styles together. The lad is a proper wanker."
I get he is trying to make me laugh so I'll feel better, but a joke is not going to solve this or make it any better. I'm mad at that bitch Leia, I'm hurt he didn't tell me the truth, I'm upset that I've pointlessly laid awake endless nights thinking about his hands on her, and I'm confused about how this makes me feel about everything.
"The fella's jokes are horrendous and I bet his willy is tiny." He chuckles.
"This isn't a joke Harry."
"I know. Course it's not." He says, suddenly turning serious, "But I'm not just gonna stand here and watch you cry without trying to make you feel better."
My heart warms at his words. He was always so concerned about me having a smile on my face. At least that hasn't changed.
"Let me just at least take you home yeah? A cab will take ages this time of night."
I sigh, knowing he's right. But that doesn't mean I want to be alone with him in his car for twenty minutes. Not when I'm not sure if I want to slap his face for what he did or jump his bones for what he didn't.
"I'll just see if Lou can give me a ride home." I decide, walking past him back towards the house.
"Lou's in no shape to drive and I'm right here. Don't be stubborn." Harry says before grabbing my hand firmly and pulling me to his car.
I try to ignore the way my hand feels in his, sparks shooting up my arm at his touch.
I make an effort to pull it away but he only grips it more firmly as we near his Range Rover.
He opens the passenger door, pushing me inside. "Don't get out." He orders before closing the door and jogging around the front of the car.
His car smells like him, clouding my thoughts as I look over at him. God I love the way he smells. I can't stop myself from wishing he was taking me back to my place for completely different reasons.
He glances over at me and smiles, making my heart skip a beat.
I sigh, realizing this is going to be a long night.
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