A.N.: Thank you everybody who decided to join me on this ride :)
Warnings: Just kinda confused and torn Loki
From then on, Loki was more attentive towards his surroundings. He knew he should not try to find the girl again. And yet he so desperately wanted to. To solve this mystery that had found its way into his dull life. This whole situation had thrown him into deep conflict with himself and his initial curiosity was slowly turning into anger.
He had always hated himself, that was no secret. But now that he wanted nothing more than to find this girl, he hated himself even more. It was a distraction, nothing more. He had more important plans to attend to! But he was just so intrigued and fascinated and... Could not bring his mind to shut up about her. For that, it made him hate her as well.
His days he spent brooding in the most shadowy places of the palace and its surroundings. At night he would aimlessly wander the halls and corridors and somehow he would always end up back at the kitchen. Though now, he was always alone in the darkness.
The tenth night after their little chat, he once more came to collect his meal. But as he looked down onto the well-laid table, he sighed and rolled his eyes. By all the nine realms, what was happening to him?! Slowly he turned on his heels and locked the kitchen door from the inside. Then he opened a window and finally used his magic to bring himself back to his room. A few hours later he returned, finding the plate empty and neatly washed up. He unlocked the door and left the kitchen. Then, finally, his mind allowed him to think of other things once more. The first time in two weeks.
He continued this procedure for another week, all the while torturing himself mentally. She was a small fly and he the spider in his web. And still, he set the table for her.
It appeared to him to be so wrong, everything he had been doing lately. Thinking about her. About their talk. And giving her a direct invitation to steal his food. Also, he hadn't eaten all that much himself. It all was utterly stupid. But then, why did he continue to do it anyway?
Every time he saw another soul during his walks through the palace, they would always jump out of his way. Almost no one wanted to deal with him and the rest despised him nonetheless. His mood had gotten so bad, a rumor had started that he was up to some sinister things once more. Others said he had finally gone mad once and for all. But everyone had somehow collectively decided to avoid him even more than before.
Honestly, it didn't bother Loki much, he was way more concerned about his own behavior.
After another week, he had finally regained control over his mind. The incident in the kitchen was pushed back to the darkest corner of his mind. She was no more than another face he had once upon a time laid eyes upon.
That was when he decided to take a walk through the palace garden late at night. The night was seemingly the only time he left his chambers these days. It allowed him to avoid the curious views from the lowly peasants.
The further away he walked from the palace, the better he felt. Once he reached his destination, he sighed. Two trees, in perfect symmetry. From the outside, there was nothing that could have given away his secret. He smiled and walked on between the two trees. The landscape changed and he found himself standing on a clearing with a lovely natural pool, surrounded by large rocks.
This had been his hideaway all throughout his childhood. A picture perfect little place, securely hidden by as many delusions as his magic as a child would allow him. Of course, he had come back and changed a few things, making it even more uninviting for any strange or hostile views.
But this time when he stepped into the opening, he noticed the difference immediately.
"How...?" He asked loudly, anger and irritation not even remotely hidden from his voice. "How DARE you come to this place?!" His voice thundered through the clearing.
And there they were once more, the girl and his endlessly torturing thoughts.
Slowly she walked towards Loki who had to retain himself from killing this little worm right on the spot.
"Hello." She said calmly and came to a stop only a couple feet in front of Loki. Now he could finally see her more clearly, for this night was bright with stars and a rather full moon. She looked young. But her eyes seemed to bear the wisdom of many lifetimes.
"How were you able to come here?" Loki whispered full of rage and a hint of wonder. She frowned, opening her mouth but closing it again quickly. Finally she replied. "There was a door between those two trees and I walked right through it and well, here I am." All the while she didn't look at his eyes, but rather at his shoulders, his hands, his legs.
Loki was irritated to say the least. Normally his barrier would block out everyone except for himself and well, his mother, because she also...
"You are a creature of magic." He said gravely, taking a step closer to the girl. She didn't flinch nor move, which surprised him.
"And that makes you so angry?" She asked quietly and finally looked him in the eyes. And in that moment something strange happened. Not the romantic kind of strange, but the strange kind of strange. Loki was taken aback as suddenly images flooded through his mind. Horrible, dark images. Imagines he could not quite put meaning to, until he saw a little girl that looked terribly beaten up and scared. And then the pain hit him like a lightning, forcing him to his knees and finally to the ground. As suddenly as it came, it was all gone again.
Panting he lay on his back and his eyes began to slowly adjust to the real world again. It took him a second to remind himself of his current situation, but then he jumped to his feet. The girl was still laying on the ground, breathing heavily.
Without a second thought he let a blade of ice appear in his hand and stood over her small body.
"I thought you were a nice guy." She chuckled breathlessly while Loki pressed her torso back to the ground with his foot.
"You little worm know nothing about me!" He hissed, while his eyes pierced hers. "YOU have no right to be here!"
"Well, you didn't mind when you let me into the palace every night." She answered with a smirk.
Loki's hand with the blade in it began to shake ever so slightly, so did his voice.
"Because the palace is my father's home. I wouldn't care if the rats came and overtook the damn place!" He shouted angrily. "But this little piece of nothing, this utterly unimportant place, this is mine alone. And I will not allow anyone to take it from me." His voice began shaking even more and he lifted the blade and... saw the images of the frightened, beat up little girl in his head once more. The blade hit the ground less than an inch next to her head. With a frustrated groan he stepped away from her, running his hands through his hair in despair. What was he doing!? He should punish her for intruding. He should just end it here and never think of it again. But he couldn't.
"I'm sorry." She finally said and got up, walking towards Loki. A second before she could place a hand on his shoulder his own hand shot up to stop her.
"Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again." He said in a warning, but not angry tone. In an instant he dropped her hand and turned to leave. With his back to her he finally spoke up gain. "I expect you to leave before sunrise. And don't come back to the palace. If I ever have to lay eyes upon you again, you will come to know just now nice I am."
With that he left her standing in the middle of the opening and marched right through the secret entrance.
Once outside he did not get far, before he heard her voice call out to him.
"What's your name?" She asked. "I at least want to know to the name of the nicest man I ever met."
He stopped walking, closed his eyes and sighed. "My name is Loki." With that, he brought himself back to his chambers. He was not in the mood for something as mundane as walking. To be precise he was not in the mood for anything at all. Thus he undressed himself for the sake of a hot bath. Once in the comfort of the water, he closed his eyes, hoping he would just fall asleep and drown.
A.N.: Hello everyone! As promised. here's the next chapter :) I hope you enjoy it! If you'd like me to update more than once a week let me know pls! And also, do you think the summary for this story is alright or is there something I can do to make it more interesting? I would really appreciate your help! Also I'm gonna try this new thing where I do a preview for the next chapter, so here we go:
Next chapter:
- kinda dark Loki, but we're getting brighter!
- some fun brotherly action
- also the next chapter will be longer
Hugs, K.