Chapter 28
Lance's POV...
(Hospital Chapel----->)
I tried to keep my pace even as I walked through the hospital entrance; I tried not to run as my anxiety threatened to choke me. Sofia had called me almost in hysterics saying that the Doctors decided to take Thad back to surgery after giving him blood transfusions all day. She said something about them telling her that Thad had internal bleeding and the transfusions weren’t helping, so the Doctors were taking him back to the Operating Room to find the source of the bleeding. It took all that I had to deal with the rest of my shift and sign off to the oncoming shift before blazing a trail out of there. It was taking all my will power and every molecule of energy to remain strong and stoic for everyone, when in reality I felt like I was going to shatter apart at any minute.
I just needed the love of my life to open those gorgeous eyes of his and look at me. I needed him to wiggle his toes and his fingers so the fear of paralysis is put to rest. God, I just needed for him to be alright, for him to be whole and hale, because if he lost his chance to be a firefighter. He would be devastated. This was his dream and I was beyond pissed that Kelly and Shaun tried to take it from him over petty bullshit. Why the Hell didn’t they come after me? Thank God Kelly was such an insipid tattling little bitch and that Chuck was in charge of equipment that day onsite, or else Shaun may have had another opportunity to finish his quest in hurting or even killing Thad. Fuck, the good Lord was looking out for Shaun, because I would have taken great pleasure in watching the life drain out of his eyes as I choked the fucker to death.
Keeping up the pretense and being strong for my crew for the remainder of our shift has left me completely and truly drained. I don’t know if I will be able to handle any more bad news. My steps faltered and I could feel my knees buckling right here in the hallway leading me to the surgical waiting room. What if he doesn’t make it? What if he does and he realizes his dream is lost to him? I would love him if he had no arms, no legs; if he was partially or fully paralyzed, as long as he drew breath, I would be there for him. But would he want me to? Here he was through no fault of his own, fighting for his life to return to normal. It was all because of me and my stupid mistake with Kelly.
I can’t lose him, not ever. The Commissioner was all set to turn a blind eye if I played nice and stepped into the running for his office. That would solve the fraternization problem, and although I was still on the fence about doing it. The choice has been taken from me. But I needed Thad to be awake; I needed for him to be on board with my decision to do what it takes to protect the crew as well as our relationship. Drawing a shaky breath, I leaned against the wall and tried to shore up my courage for whatever it was that I was going to hear about Thad’s surgery when I walked through those waiting room doors.
Suddenly I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see my best friend and my right hand man standing there with a look of understanding on his face. My entire crew was standing behind him and one by one they stepped up to me and placed their hands on my back physically offering me the strength I needed to walk through those doors, and I had to blink a few times to clear my vision. For these guys I would take on the responsibilities of the Commissioner’s office to make sure they were good.
I nodded my head at them and the stepped back and they flanked me as I walked the remaining few yards to the waiting room. My hand shook as I reached out and pushed the door open. My gaze swung around the almost empty room until they landed on Sophia huddled in the corner with Henri comforting her on one side and Nate on the other. She gave me a preoccupied smile before she went back to wringing her handkerchief. Nate leaned over and kissed her cheek as we all filed into the room and closed the door behind us. He jumped to his feet as Xavier approached him and I had to look away as my friend embraced his man and nuzzled his cheek against the side of Nate’s disheveled hair. Robbie squeezed his slender body in between them and snuggled against Nate as well.
I looked to Henri and he just shook his head letting me know that there wasn’t anything else he needed to tell me about Thad’s surgery so far. So I blew out a pent up breath and dropped my exhausted and aching body into a chair and proceeded to go quietly insane.
Damn, this sucked ass big time, I looked up at the clock and it’s going on close to three hours since Sophia had called and told me they were taking him back to surgery. They must have found something by now, how long did it take to fix whatever they needed to fix. Jumping up I ran my hands through my hair and went to the window to gaze unseeing out into the surrounding parking lot of the Medical Center. I wondered if I banged my head against the plane glass hard enough would that stop my frantic brain from working overtime.
Just then the doors swooshed open and I spun on my heels praying it was Thad’s team of Doctors, but to my surprise it was Christy and some of the hospital volunteers. They were loaded down with bags of food and coffee for everyone. Sofia immediately hopped to her feet, seeing that there was something she could do other than worrying about her son. Then she went right up to Christy like they were old friends and thanked her for stopping by her catering company and picking up the food. It dawned on me that they did in fact know each other, and most likely it was Mama Martin checking up on her cub and getting Christy every time she called the station house.
I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to staring at nothing outside the window as Sophia made sure to gather the troops and that everyone had something to eat. I knew my nervous gut would probably protest anything that I might attempt to put in it, so I didn’t even make a move towards the smorgasbord of sandwiches and such. But knowing my mother-in-law, she wasn’t going to let me off the hook at all. I fully expected her to rail at me about letting her baby get hurt in the first place, but she hasn’t. Instead she has been telling me to be strong and have faith that Thad is a fighter and that he will see his way through all of this, and I hung onto to those words like a lifeline.
“Lance baby, I know you haven’t had anything decent pass those lips of yours since this while mess started. Henri told me that you caught those despicable men responsible for hurting my boy. Now we need to focus and send him positive energy, and to do that we got to take care of ourselves too. So come on, eat something, if not for yourself but for Thad.” She quietly prodded me over to a chair and I slumped down into it. She handed me a loaded plate and an over large cup of steaming coffee. “Now make sure you eat all that, I don’t want any excuses.” And she went off to reclaim her seat next to Henri who handed her own plate and kissed her on her cheek. I couldn’t help but smile at them; I wanted my love for Thad to be just like that, never ending. If there is a God in heaven, please let me get the opportunity to love him until the day I draw my last breath and most likely long after that.
I dutifully ate some of the food Sophia placed in front of me and it all went down my throat like cardboard. I know it was tasty; Sophia’s food is anything but finger licking, want to lick the plate amazingly delicious. But nothing in my world will be right again until I know for sure that Thad is going to be okay. I wanted to get up and throw the damn chair at the clock that refused to move. Xavier came over and tried to hold a conversation, but I couldn’t focus on anything he was saying. And then, finally, finally two men dressed in sweaty scrubs entered the room and asked for the Martin family and I immediately jumped to my feet and hauled ass over to where Sophia, Henri, and Nat stood with apprehensive expressions on their faces.
I could feel my limbs shaking until the Doctor said those amazing words. “We found the source of bleeding, it was a nicked artery in the kidney, and he will make a full recovery. Slight swelling and trauma to the tissue surrounding his lower spine, but once it heals he will have full use of his legs and should return to regular work and activity.”
My head spun and the air whooshed out of my exhausted body as Sophia thanked them and asked when she would be able to see him, and the Doctors said another hour or so he will be wheeled back to his room. Relief so sweet rushed through my veins, and I needed some space. I nodded my head at Nate and as quickly as my legs could carry me and made a beeline for the exit. No one needed to witness my breakdown. I quickly turned several corners and funny enough I wound up right in front of the Hospital’s Chapel and I ducked inside. I was more than happy to see that I had the small quiet room to myself. And that is when I lost it.
My entire body shook like I was having some kind of seizure as the tears, and the anger, all the uncertainty, and plain helplessness of the last few days just coalesced in one giant lump of emotion as it purged from my body. I kneeled down on the floor on front of the little cross and I cried as everything in me just gave way. I just stayed there with my nose dripping and my wet face facing the floor. God only knows how long I stayed there like that, it wasn’t until a gentle hand was placed on my shoulder that I jumped and looked around to see Sophia sitting on the little bench behind me. She urged me to turn around and like a true mom she pulled a wet wipe from her purse and held my face as she wiped away my tears and my nose.
“You know, I was ready to rip you in half and call forth divorce proceedings on Henri when he finally told me what happened. I was more than ready to take on this entire city when I was told that Thaddeus was hurt, and for what, some stilted lover and not the danger of his job. It pissed me off and I was so mad that you dragged him into this crap. But Lance, once the anger and the fear for my boy cleared, I didn’t feel like that anymore. And son, I don’t blame you and you don’t need to blame yourself either. Now my son is awake and in pain, but he is refusing his medicine and he is calling for you. He made it darling, and he will continue to get better, and even I can see that it will not happen unless you are by his side. My boy loves you, and watching you throughout this whole ordeal, I know you love him too. And that is all a Mother can ask for her children when they have a relationship. Now come on, my baby is waiting.” She finished and literally hauled me to my feet. I squeezed her hand, for a tiny little thing she as sure strong as Hell, in both body and spirit.
We quickly made it back to Thad’s room and I could hear the Nurse cajoling him, trying to get him to take his medicine. I walked through the door only to see him holding the device to deliver the injection in his hand and stubbornly refusing to let her push the button. Henri and Nate where trying to talk to him, and Xavier and Robbie was trying to keep him from jostling himself in the bed. Everyone else was outside of the room in the hall.
“Baby, take it easy. I am here.” I said as I rushed over to the bed and shoved my crew out the way. At this point in time, I didn’t give a flying fuck who knew that this beautiful person was mine. His hair was sticking up all over his head and he looked pale and tired, but he was still the most gorgeous thing I have ever had the opportunity to look at. I brushed his hair back and he calmed down immediately. “I am here. I am not going anywhere and you are going to fine beautiful, now give me the pain control.” I said as I leaned over and brushed his chapped lips with mine. I licked them to ease the dryness a bit as I pushed the device to administer his pain relief and soon enough those pretty eyes of his fluttered as sleep claimed him. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief.
“Alrighty then, chop, chop time to go. My baby needs his rest. Thank ya’ll for being here, you can come back tomorrow. Now who is coming to the house for dinner?” Sophia inquired as she herded everybody including the medical staff out of the room. She turned and winked at me before solidly closing the door. I could still hear her delegating to the masses as she organized them to meet her at her home. The woman was a force to be reckoned with, but she was going to be my mother-in-law and I had to love her.
I brushed his hair off his forehead and bent down to give him a kiss on his cool cheek before getting up and dimming the lights of his room. I dragged the chair as close as I could get it next to his bed and sat down and held his hand. He snuffled in his sleep and fidgeted to the side a bit and went back to sleep. And I just laid my head next to his thigh and watched over him until my own eyes felt droopy and all the exhaustion finally caught up with me. I drifted off feeling a lot lighter knowing that the love of my life was going to be alright.