There I was sitting in my Pastor Rich's living room with his wife, DawnChere. We had just ended a young women's bible study group that she hosted. I was the last one there. We were close and since my family was still in New York, DawnChere and Pastor Rich kind of adopted me. They were a second set of parents while I was studying ballet in Miami. I had just got done showing DawnChere some videos of my newest dance routine, when I heard the news.
There was a TV on in the other room and all I remember hearing was "Justin Bieber was arrested last night, right here in Miami".
I felt my pulse start to race and this unusual sense of anxiety came over me. I actually lost time...I just pictured him behind a jail cell, alone and in the darkest hours of his life. I didn't understand why I felt so connected to him. Like I could feel his pain, and it scared the shit out of me.
DawnChere must have been calling my name over and over again before I snapped out of whatever I was in. She seemed worried about me enough to ask me to stay for dinner but insisted I lay down and rest.
I remember laying down on their sectional sofa in their family room and just listening to the phone ring of the hook. I heard DawnChere asking whoever was on the phone if Justin would be released. I assumed she was talking to Rich, who was also close to Justin. Rich and my other Pastor Carl had been mentoring Justin on and off.
I was dozing in and out of consciousness, when I thought I heard DawnChere say "Well, bring him here for now. Tell Scooter he'll be safe here". I must have been dreaming because that would be weird. And that's the last thing I remember until I woke up 5 hours later.
You know when your half awake and kind of acclimating yourself to reality again?
You can hear things and sense things,but your not fully alert? Totally me in this moment. I could hear alot of people talking heatedly in another room. They kept talking about getting help and avoiding the media.
I remember stretching with my eyes still closed and feeling something warm against my bare toes. Then I heard a voice way to close..."I've been listening to you snore for over an hour. You kind of have a twinkle twinkle little star melody to your snore. Not in a cute way though. I thought about smothering you with a pillow 20 minutes ago, just to make you stop. You really should see somebody about that. So I know your up,plus you kick in your sleep."
At this point, I still hadn't opened my eyes yet. I knew who I'd see when I did. I knew Justin's voice. I was afraid to look at him. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he was sitting on the same couch that I was sprawled out on. And my toes were still touching his body. The whole thing was insane. Twilight zone stuff people! Then I replayed what he just said to me in my head. This kid had the audacity to criticize my snoring while just getting out of jail?
My snoring was due to exhaustion from feeling too much for HIM!!!!!
With my eyes still closed, I let him have it.
"At least I'm not a felon"....and then I heard him say "ouch, you go right for the jugular, princess twinkle". I nervously laughed. He did too. And then he pinched my toe and asked if I believed in toenail clippers. Who is this man child anyway? At this point I poked him harder with said toe and decided to open my eyes.
Justin was sitting there in a black hoodie, hood up, currently biting one on the strings in his mouth. His face was pale and drained. He had dark circles under his eyes. He kept tapping his knee up and down. He seemed like a little kid who was stuck in time out. I don't know how he could still be so absolutely stunning and look like the walking dead at the same time. But he did.
I didn't say anything. I just kept staring.
Justin obviously didn't like the silence.
"Can you just go back to snoring, Twinkles?
At least your awful melody was distracting me. Now I have to deal with your judgy stare. And your razor toes are still poking me. If you are trying to flirt with these bear claw toes, at least invest in a pedicure. Your toes are jacked. I mean seriously, not to be rude but there kind of disfigured."
Without thinking, I took my foot and smacked him in the face (not too hard).
And then let him have it.
"I'll have you know that I'm a classically trained ballerina. I dance in pointe shoes. They basically have a block of wood on the bottom. My toes look good right now compared to when they are cut up and bleeding from dancing. I do not snore! And at least my toes can heal! Your feet look like hobbits feet! You have the feet of a flat footed giant that doesn't match your body. Ogre feet! You have Ogre feet! And if you talk about my toes again, I'll roundhouse kick you into tomorrow!"
Justin looked stunned at my foot to his face and my rant. He then began to laugh hysterically. He was laughing so hard that he was starting to snort laugh. Which made me laugh.
It felt good to see him giggling. It felt right.
"Damn, Twinkles I needed that. You somehow made me laugh on the worst day of my life. But you should really stop stalking me. How do you know about my feet? Do you Google search pictures of me? Are you secretly obsessed with my feet or something? And I do not have Ogre feet! What the heck are Ogre feet anyway?"
Okkkkk, this kid just can't shut up. One minute I am kicking him, then laughing with him, and now I want to kick him again!
"I am not a stalker. Your Justin Bieber! Your pictures are everywhere, it's not my fault your big flat feet stand out."
* (he doesn't need to know the truth about my possible Google stalking)
I think that's when I noticed he was starting to look dejected again. Like a puppy that's been kicked. And I literally just kicked him. Wow, I'm a jerk...but he's a jerk too. This was awkward. I wanted to cheer him up somehow.
"Look Justin, I did see you in concert. And I actually thought you were pretty darn good. But I saw you before your concert too. I was in line to meet you with my cousin. She's a big fan. I walked up on you accidentally. You were not having a good day. But then you went on stage and gave this inspiring show. Your music turned me into a fan. And yeah, I've googled you."
" Twinkles it's belieber not fan. And I knew you were a stalker."
I was gonna kick the smugness right out of him. But he put his hands up in surrender.
"Twinkles, I'm joking. But thank you. I haven't been myself in forever. I'm kind of lost right now. I hate being me. I just wish I could disappear sometimes. Justin Bieber is a joke."
My turn.
"Justin, your a human being. Your gonna screw up. Yeah this seems like a big screw up...because it is. Sorry. But you gotta forgive yourself and get back up. You have so much crazy talent. I really like your songs. But I can see your in pain. You can't keep pushing it down with all the crazy stuff your doing."
He was silent for some time. It kind of made me nervous. Then he smiled.
"What's one of your favorite songs of mine?"
That was easy for me. "I really like Be, Alright. I guess after seeing you so sad and then watching you preform Be,Alright. I just was blown away."
Without warning Justin just started softly singing. He looked at me like I had a life preserver that he desperately needed. I don't know if he was singing to me or more to himself.
"Across the ocean, across the sea,
Starting to forget the way you look at me now
Over the mountains, across the sky,
Need to see your face, I need to look in your eyes
Through the storm and through the clouds
Bumps on the road and upside down now
I know it's hard, babe, to sleep at night
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Through the sorrow, and the fights,
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
All alone, in my room
Waiting for your phone call to come soon
And for you, oh, I would walk a thousand miles,
To be in your arms, holding my heart
Oh, I,
Oh, I,
I love you
And everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Through the long nights
And the bright lights
Don't you worry
'cause everything's gonna be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight
Be alright, ai-ai-ai-aight."
When he was done, I just felt an overwhelming need to touch him. I gently slid my fingers through his. He sat there and looked at our entwined fingers. It felt like as long as we were connected, we were both safe. I don't know how long we sat like that, but it felt like forever. A good forever though. Eventually Justin's manager Scooter came out of whatever meeting was happening in the other room and told him they had to go meet up with Justin's mom.
I let go of his hand and he came back to reality with me. He got up to leave and bent down to whisper in my ear.
"Thank you, Twinkles. You've helped me more than you know." He then placed a feather light kiss to my temple and was gone.
I sat there in a daze once again. All because of Justin Bieber.
10 minutes later my phone buzzed with an alert for a new text from an unknown number. It simply said:
Twinkles I'm definitely gonna come watch you do your ballerina dancing on those claw toes of yours.
Don't be mad at Rich for giving me your number. He said you would be a good friend to have. Little does he know you assaulted me with your mangled toes and your snoring. Anyways thank you.
I replied back with:
You'd be lucky to have my friendship Ogre feet! And everything's gonna be alright.
He replied:
Everything's gonna be alright :)
Somehow my snoring and toes, his smart mouth and ugly feet had formed a friendship. And maybe everything would be alright.