Juneau was so rainy that Myrtle realized how lucky they'd been with the weather so far on the cruise. The rain was pouring down in buckets through the foggy air. There was a tram that lifted passengers past a dense Alaskan rainforest to the top of a mountain ... at least, that's what it was supposed to do. Myrtle couldn't even see the tram out her window for the rain and fog.
There was a tap at her cabin door and she opened it. Miles stood there looking rather bemused. "Your door. How ... ?"
"Oh, you mean the gnomes on my door? Aren't they the dearest things? Can you believe that there is a concierge on this ship? So very cooperative, too. She was delighted to print out a bunch of gnome pictures and bring me tape to put them up on the door," said Myrtle. She and Miles sat on her sofa together.
"The concierge must have thought you were insane," said Miles, shaking his head.
"Certainly not. I told her the pictures were for Jack. She couldn't be happier to help me out," said Myrtle.
"I'm wondering if I should make a bet with Elaine," said Miles thoughtfully. "We could bet on how long Red will allow those gnomes to be stuck on your stateroom door before he pulls them all off."
"At least my point will have been made," said Myrtle. "That's all that really matters. Now, what are we doing today?"
"I'd really planned on being on the tram. Now it's too foggy to see anything. I don't want to ride a tram with no view." He sounded quite dispirited.
"I thought you were Mr. Adventure," said Myrtle. "Isn't there some sort of zipline thing or something?"
Miles gave her a long-suffering look. "I don't want to dangle over the rainforest; I simply want to view it. And it appears we're completely socked in with rain."
"Then let's go shopping. I want to get some smoked salmon to bring home with me as a souvenir of the trip. And Red is forcing me to try to pawn off the snow globe on some poor shopkeeper as a return."
Miles said, "But you wouldn't have purchased it at their store."
"Red says all the stores sell the same stuff and that it shouldn't be hard to get them to accept it." Myrtle shrugged.
"Maybe. But not to pay you back for it!" said Miles.
"At any rate, I'm supposed to try. Believe me, I agree with you—it's ridiculous. It's one reason why there are gnomes taped all over my door. The snow globe cost too much for me to write it off as a loss. And I need to find something else to give Jack," said Myrtle.
"Shopping it is, then," said Miles with a sigh. "Let's dig out our rain gear."
It was raining so hard when they left the ship that they found themselves rushing from one store to another and from one awning-covered bit of sidewalk to another. What's more, no one was willing to take Jack's snow globe back.
"Bah," said Myrtle, shoving the souvenir into her massive pocketbook after her latest failed attempt at returning it. "I give up. I'll just keep it myself. Let's find Jack a stuffed animal and pick up some smoked salmon. Here's a shop we haven't been in yet."
They walked in and navigated around the huge tee-shirt display to find the stuffed animals and other goods. The shop was crowded with tourists from the ships.
Miles said under his breath, "Don't look now, but Maisy has just entered the shop."
Maisy had indeed walked in. She appeared to be perusing the magnet section of the shop. Myrtle said under her breath, "Let's talk to her. It will be good to hear from her when she's completely sober."
Maisy's mood was much improved by the lack of alcohol in her system. She greeted Myrtle and Miles cheerfully. She wore a nylon rain jacket and the hood covered her too-blonde hair. "Hi there! Killing a rainy day, like I am? I desperately needed to get off that ship. I didn't disembark when we were in Haines and Skagway, which was a huge mistake."
"It's good to be on dry land," agreed Myrtle. "And how are you doing, dear?" Myrtle fell easily into chatty old lady mode, once she realized that Maisy might be receptive to it today.
"Oh, it's all right. I'm on an Alaskan cruise, so things couldn't be too bad, you know? I guess you've heard that we're having a hastily-put-together memorial for Mother today?" Maisy gave them a questioning look. "None of us were too keen on the idea of having a big 'do' for her when we got home. We figured it was best to do it at sea and explain to everyone when we got home that we needed immediate closure."
Myrtle had the feeling that Celeste would have preferred the 'big do' at home, but she certainly wasn't around to lend her vote to the matter. She said, "I think it's a good idea. And Miles and I will come, of course."
"Of course," repeated Miles courteously, although he shot Myrtle a long-suffering look. He was no fan of funerals and he'd been to several of them recently in the days leading up to the trip.
Maisy said wryly, "That's very kind of you. I think I'd get out of it myself if I could. The family is fractious right now. Maybe it's just being trapped on the ship and that feeling that we can't escape each other. But Terrell, Randolph, and I are totally getting on each other's nerves. And meek Eugenia and loud Bettina are simply annoying. We'll all likely try very hard to stay out of each other's way once the service is over."
Myrtle affected a concerned expression. "What are Terrell and Randolph doing to be upsetting?"
"They're just so coarse!" said Maisy, waving a hand in the air.
Myrtle thought this was rather ironic, coming from Maisy.
"Terrell has been gloomily muttering how Eugenia shouldn't get a penny. He's complaining about Mother's rewrite of her will and saying darkly how he'll have his lawyers all over the document when we get back home. You know—he's just not happy about the money thing. And Randolph switches from egging Terrell on about the lawyers and the will, to being disgustingly gleeful about Mother's death. Randolph was definitely unhappy about the terms of the will and very unhappy with Eugenia."
Again, Myrtle found it ironic that Maisy would criticize anyone for being happy about her mother's death. Maisy seemed to be the happiest and most relieved of any of them when she'd gotten the news. But Myrtle gave her a sympathetic nod, anyway.
Maisy suddenly seemed bored with the conversation. She moved a few yards away from the magnets and into the tee shirts. "Which one do you like better?" she asked, pointing at two shirts.
Shopping with Maisy was mercifully short. Miles was at the end of his rope with both shopping and with Maisy, so they broke things off early and decided to catch a bite to eat in town as a change of pace. It was a wooden restaurant very close to where the ships were moored that offered the largest crab legs Myrtle and Miles had ever seen, served with hushpuppies. Myrtle had an appetizer of soup before knowing how big the crab legs were. She wondered if she'd ever eat again as she and Miles stumbled away in a food coma.
They boarded the ship in plenty of time to change into something less casual for Celeste's service. Miles tapped on Myrtle's door about fifteen minutes before it started.
The chapel was small and very cold. Randolph appeared to already have imbibed before the service. "I suppose it's five o'clock somewhere," murmured Miles disapprovingly. Terrell kept glancing at his watch. Maisy was dressed rather severely in what Myrtle imagined was an outfit her mother would have approved of. She was with her ponytailed friend Guy, who had inexplicably decided to wear a Hawaiian shirt and cut-off shorts. Bettina, on the other hand, was likely overdressed in a sparkly black dress with high heels and lots of flashy jewelry.
"Where's Eugenia?" asked Myrtle, glancing around the small room.
Miles said glumly, "Maybe she caught whatever the security guy has." His hands started moving, almost of their own volition, rubbing together as if they had imaginary hand sanitizer on them.
The service was extremely short.
Miles muttered, "Why can't we have more services like this one at home?" They stood at the close with the lone pianist giving a recessional.
"We can't, because ordinarily, the minister at home has actually met the deceased," said Myrtle. "Although this chaplain did give an extraordinary good general service under the circumstances. He somehow had the ability to make it feel personal." She peered at the family. "What are they doing? Do they not know what to do?"
The family apparently didn't. Maisy was uncertainly moving toward the chaplain, presumably to thank him on behalf of the family. Randolph appeared to have dozed off and was leaning heavily on the side of the pew. Terrell was walking with great determination toward the exit.
"For heaven's sake," hissed Myrtle. "These people. Have they never been to a funeral before? They're supposed to give us the opportunity to shake their hands or hug them and tell them how sorry we are."
Miles said, "Well then, why don't you catch Terrell and set him straight before he's back in the ship library doing crosswords?"
Myrtle and Miles quickly followed Terrell, Myrtle giving genteel coughs until she finally gave up with any pretext of subtlety and reached out her cane to jab him in the back of a leg as he left the chapel.
When Terrell whirled around, Myrtle said pleasantly, "We hoped the family was going to let us have the chance to say how sorry we are."
There was a flash of anger in his eyes. Whether Myrtle was solely responsible for it or whether it had to do with his feelings for his mother, she didn't know. He said coldly, "I assumed it; you didn't have to tell me."
Myrtle nodded. "All right. I did have one question for you. Where's Eugenia?"
"How do I know?" said Terrell furiously. "Am I her keeper?"
Miles said in a mild tone, "Have you seen her today at all?"
"No. But I haven't gone looking for her, either."
By this point, Maisy, Bettina, Randolph, and Guy were exiting the chapel.
"What's going on?" asked Maisy, raising her eyebrows at Terrell's flushed features.
"And where's Eugenia?" asked Bettina. "It's really odd that she's not here."
Myrtle noticed that Randolph looked away.
"Nothing's going on," spat Terrell. "This woman is looking for Eugenia, that's all. Nothing to do with me. Why should I care where that money-grubbing person is?"
At that moment, a solemn Red and a uniformed crew member walked around a corner to join them. He said, "I'm glad you're all still together for the service. What I've got to say may come as a bit of a shock."
He paused as if waiting for anyone to say they wanted to sit down. Everyone simply stared blankly at Red.
He continued on, quietly. "Eugenia was found dead in one of the ship's hot tubs this morning. I'm very sorry."