Oh my gosh Dyl I don't know where my notebook is. I put it under my pillow where I always put it and now it's gone. So I'm writing on a page of paper but it really feels like I've lost a big part of me.
I feel like Ben took it. If he did he'll literally know EVERYTHING about how I feel about you. And he's obviously going to tell you, I mean he's an 8 year old and he's also my brother. That means he'll take any chance he gets to sabotage my life.
He doesn't even know what cancer is... When I tell him I'm sick he says "when are you getting better?" And then when I tell him that I might not get better he thinks I'm trying to trick him. He'll understand with time. As much as he annoys the hell out of me, I really don't want to leave him. I wish I could be there to help him with his first girl problems and to see him start high school. I hate that he's going to lose his older sister, the only person that takes care of him because our parents seriously don't care.
Okay I am going to go get my notebook back. Hopefully he didn't read too much of it. I'm literally going to throw this out right now, I love you Dylan.
Okay I don't know why I keep "talking" to you as if you are actually going to read this.
Crumpling this paper up now.