Betaed by ericastwilight
Edward
Bella's smile was nothing short of taunting, because I really wanted those pretty little teeth to nibble on my…
Her smile slowly turned into a smirk, and she winked. When she'd said earlier today that she'd be joining me in my cell, I'd had no idea this was what she would look like. She'd wanted front row seats to the mind-fuckery we were about to play on Jasper and Emmett.
Bella bit her lower lip and sat beside me. She'd told me when we'd discussed her plan that once I had seen her, I'd have to continue my charade if we wanted this to work.
I must admit, if she asked me to strip down to my birthday suit, I would've done it in seconds. No questions asked. I would've let her have her way with me.
My little shoulder devil started to hiss in my ear to grab her ass and whimper to make it sound real. My shoulder angel reminded my little devil that I'd whimper anyway.
I found myself answering her questions nervously, because she didn't look like the Bella I'd met hours before. She was uber-Bella from the shady underbelly of the Hellmouth, because dressed like this, she had to be a devil.
Also, her idea of playing dress-up was doing some serious things to the blood flow in my body.
I answered her last question, a bit surprised by her southern accent. "I…stole a purse."
My hard on was so painful that I tried scooting away from her uberness (yes, it's a word – now) to see if the flow would return so that I'd have normal brain functions.
Bella (aka Her Unholy Hotness) closed the distance between us, reminding me that I was supposed to play along.
The red devil (who was the spokesman for my dick) was leering at Bella's breasts, and his hands were wrapped around his tail. The angel on my left shoulder had his eyes covered by the tips of his wings, but I noticed his hand under his robe – fucker.
We all wanted a little taste of Bella's uberness, and of her boobies.
Bella explained before I left for my apartment earlier that she did a lot of theater work and had a few friends that would be helping us out. I had to admit that her friends, Butch and Rick, were scary as fuck.
Jasper looked like he was the picture of calm, but I knew better. His rigid pose on the cot told me that he was scared. Though, I couldn't be sure what had him so scared – facing his wife Alice, or Butch.
Emmett kept watching Bella and I interact, but one eye was glued on his cellmate, while his hand instinctively covered his dick.
Bella responded to my stuttered answer with a purr. "Oh, a bad boy." Her fingernail wreaked havoc on my dick, causing it to twitch. Her nail then glided over the stubble of my jaw. Damn, she was a fine actress. I could actually see her eyes smolder and her pulse quicken under her skin.
Fuck it. I grabbed the back of her head and pressed my lips against hers. I'd been waiting all day for the chance to do this. I groaned when her nails scraped my neck, as her hand descended to my chest. Her hand fisted around my t-shirt, pulling me closer. She moaned into my mouth as I parted my lips enough for her tongue to slip in and take over.
Somewhere in the distance I could hear Rosalie and Alice yelling at Jasper and Emmett, and at the moment, I didn't give a shit.
"Fucking hell, Eddie!" Emmett cursed loudly, causing Bella to pull away. "Let her breath."
Bella winked at me. "That's all right, Sugar," she said, loud enough for the others to hear. "We have all night." She licked her lips as her fingertip ran over my lips, removing the color from them.
"Oh my God. Emmett, what the hell did you do to Edward?" Rosalie asked, looking at me through the cell bars. Her hands were on her hips, and she winked at me and Bella.
"I didn't do anything," Emmett insisted with his wide eyes trained on me. "Jasper did."
"I did not," Jasper hissed, never taking his eyes off Alice, who was fuming. Damn, she was a good actress, too. "It's all Emmett's fault."
"I don't care which one of you started this, but you two need to make up to him," Rosalie said angrily as she turned to face Emmett.
During all this, Bella's fingertips were running up and down my arm, and all my blood was still flowing straight to my cock. Her lovely brown eyes looked up at me, and she mouthed, "Kiss me." I was not one to deny her.
I grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her hard. She moaned and fell back onto the cot, pulling my body with her.
"I think she's making it up to him," I heard Emmett say.
"Fuck, Elizabeth is going to kill you two," Alice scoffed. "He's going to be de-virginized in a jail cell by a hooker."
I stiffened in Bella's embrace, because I seriously wanted to kill my cousin. Bella pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, as the others continued to argue.
"It's okay, Edward. Same here," she confessed in a whisper.
I sighed in relief and frankly, surprise. I was a bit shocked to find out that someone so confident and sexy would be a virgin. I smiled sheepishly. "Is this alright?" I felt like an animal, attacking her like this.
She nodded. "We might as well enjoy the scene, too," she teased.
"Are you…enjoying this?" I asked, curious if this was just all an act.
Bella bit her lip and nodded again. I smirked and kissed her lips again, this time slowly. She sighed against my lips, parting them slightly. I slipped my tongue into her mouth as her thigh brushed against my erection.
Bella gasped, pulling away. "I don't think I need to ask if you're enjoying this."
I blushed, which caused her to laugh and snort softly. I laughed with her for a moment before shutting her up – with my mouth.
"Fuck, Rosalie!" Emmett cried out. "You called my mother!" From my peripheral vision I could see my aunt Esme stalk toward Emmett's cell.
Bella stiffened beneath me and pushed me off her. I looked at her, a little alarmed at the abrupt dismissal as we both sat up. "I haven't met her yet," she whispered.
I grinned in understanding and nodded. Bella took my hand in hers.
Esme stood before her son's cell and gave him the Look. This look was so menacing that just a few seconds of it would have your balls shriveling up to the size of raisins. That was how scary this look was.
Both Emmett and Rick whimpered in their cell. Bella's body shook with laughter just as Grandma Whitlock strutted into the room.
"Alice," Jasper hissed furiously.
"Don't you 'Alice' her," Grandma Whitlock spat, glaring at her grandson. Jasper pouted like a child and nodded. They were going to get it, but it was time to confess.
"We can have this all straightened out," Emmett said in a rushed, low voice. "All we need is Bella."
"Yeah, Alice. Just call Bella. I'm sure she'd get us out of here," Jasper said, full of hope.
"I wouldn't," Rosalie said menacingly. "I'd leave you two in here." I was starting to think she wasn't acting. She must really be pissed at Emmett. She'd always been really protective of me, because when she'd been adopted, she'd been separated from her brother, who would be about my age.
"Baby, don't be that way," Emmett said pleadingly. "Just call Bella, please."
Bella stood up and strutted over to the cell door. "That won't be necessary, sweet thang," she drawled, her expression was clearly amused.
"Oh my God," Jasper hissed, as he looked at Bella like she was the devil incarnate.
Emmett pressed his face against the bars of his cell and looked at Bella, too. "My eyes!" he cried out. "Oh God, I have to bleach out my brain!" He shuddered while Alice, Esme and Rosalie started to laugh.
Alice hadn't been kidding. Emmett really did see Bella as a little sister.
Officer Bree walked into the room and clanked her nightstick against the bars of Emmett's cell. "So are these two staying?"
Bella looked straight at Jasper and then at Emmett. She grinned. "Yes."
After we'd all been released, except for Emmett and Jasper, Bella and I stood in front of their cells.
"Bella," Emmett cooed, with his eyes scrunched closed. "You can't leave us in here."
"Oh, I'm not leaving you here, Em," she said sweetly. "My dad should be here in about two hours. He'll let you two out." She grinned and tugged on my hand.
"I hope you two have learned your lesson," I said, wrapping my arm around Bella's shoulders.
"Yeah, never fuck with a woman's purse," Jasper said. He hit his head on the wall. "I'm sorry, B. You too, Edward."
"Thank you, Jasper," Bella said, smiling at him. She turned toward Emmett expectantly.
Emmett pouted, but he jutted out his chin. "I'm not apologizing."
Bella laughed and sighed. "I didn't expect you to, but you might want to rethink that when my father comes."
Emmett visibly shuddered, but he covered it up by shrugging indifferently.
"Come on," I said and led Bella out of the room, followed by Rosalie, Alice and my aunt.
"Edward steals a purse, and he gets the girl," Emmett muttered angrily.
I turned and looked over my shoulder at him. "You bet your ass I do."
Bella snorted, laughed, and then she slapped my chest playfully. My aunt Esme was walking in front of us with a big fucking grin on her face. She was either really happy that her son was getting a lesson of a lifetime or that I'd finally found someone I clicked with. Maybe it was both.
"Thank you for this wonderful opportunity to make Emmett pay," Bree said, extending her hand to Bella. Bella smiled and shook it.
"Take it easy on them," Bella whispered. "I'm sure my father will scare them enough."
Bree rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I'll be real gentle."
Rosalie laughed and put her hand over her belly, no doubt feeling the baby move. "Play him some NYSNC or New Kids, and he'll lose his fucking mind. Alice drove him crazy with them growing up."
"Ooo, thanks, Rosalie," Bree said, rubbing her hands together gleefully. "I happen to have some of their music."
Rosalie leaned in and whispered, "What exactly happened to the sparkly peen?"
Bree laughed and shook her head. "I have a feeling that the mayor kept it."
We all laughed together while Bree picked up a small radio with an iPod attached and walked over to Emmett's cell. Some music started to play, causing him to groan loudly.
"Whoa oh oh. Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance…"
"You know I'll get you both back for this!" Emmett yelled before the door shut behind us.
Of course he would.
After Bella and I had promised to reschedule dinner at her place for tomorrow night with my family, we walked down the street to where she had her truck parked.
Her phone rang in her purse, reminding me that I really needed to have her ditch the scary ass thing. "Hello," she answered cheerfully. I used the distraction to yawn, raising my arm over head and then wrapping it around her shoulder.
Bella looked at me for a moment and burst out laughing, telling her caller to hold on. "I can't believe you just did that."
I blushed for a moment before I realized how stupid that must have looked, and I laughed with her. "Sorry," I mumbled. Bella just smiled at me and took my hand over her shoulder while she put the phone back to her ear.
"Hi, Dad," she said.
I paled. Oh sweet baby Jebus, please oh PLEASE don't have him shoot me.
"Yup, they're still in there," Bella said as she tightened her hold on my hand.
"Take it easy on them," she said firmly. "It was all in good fun. No! You can't have them strip to their boxers and cuff them to a light post." She rolled her eyes and gave me a wicked smile.
Bella stopped suddenly and paled. "No. You can't have Edward. It wasn't his fault."
I withdrew my arm from her shoulders, waiting for my funeral procession. My little devil had a noose around his neck, and his tongue hanging out. The little angel was the one holding the rope.
I was so fucking dead.
Bella argued with her father for a minute longer. "He's my age. Yes. I don't know. I don't know that either. I just met him. No, Dad. No. No!" She sighed and looked at me sheepishly. "Fine, you can meet him tomorrow. Bye." She hung up and looked up at me.
"It will be fine. He just wants to meet you and probably scare the shit out of you."
I gaped.
Her eyes widened as she tried to reassure me. "You'll survive, I swear."
I nodded, and I tried to lighten the mood. "Should I wear protective gear?"
Bella snorted and shook her head, grabbing my hand and tugging me along.
"So, Bella, where are we off to?" I asked as I pulled her closer to my side. She fit perfectly tucked against me, warm and soft.
"We?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.
"We," I said firmly as I wiggled my eyebrows. "You didn't think I'd let you leave my sight dressed like that, did you?" We stopped by a black 4x4 GMC Sierra.
"Down boy, this isn't even mine," she said as she pointed at her outfit.
I pouted, which only brought out her cute snort and laughter again. "Well, I have to go home," she said and pulled out her brick, "and put my brick in place."
"Need a hand?" I asked. My hand, of its own accord, ran over her leather-clad ass.
Oh God, fucking perfection.
The little devil on my right shoulder was panting and gesturing for me to bend her over her tailgate. The little angel on my left shoulder was swapping out his halo for horns.
She cocked her eyebrow at me again. "One hour in police custody and you think you're a rebel."
"I think it's the outfit you're wearing," I said. My voice only cracked once or twice.
"Then you should see it complete with my whip and collar," she quipped with a devious smirk.
In the span of half a second, my dick twitched twice, and my two shoulder companions clutched at their tiny hearts and keeled over.
AN: I can really picture to mini Edward's clutching at their little chests!
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