^ fucking cuties 🥺
jordan
i sent the link of the project to mr. chalamet email, making sure it successfully sent before leaning back in my desk chair. "wait... yes, fuck yeah!" i yelled, throwing my fists in the air, dragging them down my face and looking at the screen to check the time. i turned it in just an hour before due date and i felt relieved.
"you sent it?" symere asked me, walking in my room with some cookies in his hand. i turned around in the low chair to see symere sit on my bed with his feet just above the ground.
"yeah, finally. thanks for helping." i sat next to him and rested my back against the bed, completely worn out after stressing to finish the assignment in time. he fed me a cookie, giving me a close-mouthed smile, tucking his face in his shoulder jokingly after i ate it.
"no problem," he responded, slapping my belly. "i told you it was easy." i slid my hand towards his back and under his shirt, rubbing the bare skin that was under it. symere bit his lip, trying not to pay attention to my hand.
"it wasn't that easy," i mumbled, tracing my fingers along where his spine was. symere jumped at a sudden yelp from outside my door.
"AHAHA! I TOLD YOU YO ASS WASN'T FINNA WIN!" we heard destin yell outside the room.
"shut up nigga! you cheated!" we heard syd's voice follow afterwards. symere chuckled to himself and shook his head, getting on his phone.
"so what happened with you and megan?" he asked me. i stopped tracing my fingers on his back and poked at it instead. he giggled, jerking his body away from me which made my heart skip a little.
"i was gonna eat with her but she seems upset and when i ask what's wrong she said we were moving too fast. i agreed, it became awkward as fuck, then i left," i answered, lowering my hand, gritting my teeth at the memory.
"have you talk to her?"
"nah. ima wait until she texts me first. you know that aubrey graham nigga who be in yo music class i think? i think they messing around," i asked him, making him shake his head no and furrow his eyebrows.
"never mind then," i shrugged my shoulders, not really wanting to talk about her.
"when are you visiting your parents?" i asked him, snaking my hand around from his back to his stomach to pull him down with me. he complied and laid back, resting his phone between us.
"today. i told you yesterday after the movies," he pushed a dread out of my face, tucking it with the others. i looked away from his face, becoming shy at his display of affection.
"oh yeah, i forgot. can i help you pack and shit?"
"if you want to," he answered, laughing at how i asked the question. he rotated his body more until he was on his side, putting a hand on my cheek and brushing his thumb against the birthmark.
"i think it's so cute that you and alexis have the same birthmark, just like on a different cheek." i scooted my body closer his, holding the wrist of the hand that was on my cheek.
"she's my little clone. i can't wait to see her," i cheesed, enjoying the feeling of his hands on me. i closed my eyes when i felt his finger slightly glided over my lower lip and opened them back up when he cupped my cheek again, making flesh hotter.
"aw i wanna see her again. she was a sweetheart," he told me, flickering his eyes to my lips. i liked them self-consciously, leaning my face closer to his.
"maybe you can this break." he slowly nodded his head smiling, touching my nose with his. i was about press my face closer to his until his phone vibrated between us.
he wasn't paying any attention to it, leaning in more. he put a hand on the exposed skin of stomach that shown after my shirt rode up, making my skin tingle. his phone kept vibrating and vibrating.
"you should answer that," i whispered, our lips touching slightly. a groan of my name left his mouth as he lifted his body back up, snatching the phone up with an attitude before answering.
"yes?" his voices screamed irritation despite his calm tone.
yelling immediately boomed from his phone. symere cringed and back the phone away from his ear.
"my mom," he quietly mouthed. i smiled and kept quiet, watching symere roll his eyes as his mom kept yelling at him through the phone.
"okay, okay, okay, ALRIGHT! yes, i understand. i'm coming. bye, love you." he hung up the phone and toss it back on the bed. he closed his eyes and leaned his body on mine.
"she's so annoying."
i chuckled at his irritation, wanting to pull his body in my lap but refrained from it because i thought it'll be too much. symere's phone vibrated again and another notification popped up but it was a text by miguel. i clenched my jaw, preparing to ask him a question about it.
"symere, you ready to go? i know you have to pack." syd walked in, looking around jordan's room.
"yeah, my mom just called," he replied, getting off of me and stood up.
"you still coming?" he asked me, eyes full with hope. i yawned, standing up beside him after putting my phone in my pocket. i wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling his body to mine. symere smacked his lips, trying to hide his smile.
"yeah i'm still coming." i blew a raspberry on his forehead making him shove me away. i didn't move an inch and held him back to me, chuckling at his frustration.
"can y'all gay asses just date already?" we heard syd mumble as she walked away, shuffling her slides against the carpet.
••
i helped symere zip his suitcase up while he grabbed his other bags to take them to the front door. i grabbed his suitcase, placing it back on the floor to roll it out of his room.
he put his hand next to mine on the handle, blushing when our hands brushed against each other. i let go of the handle to let him pull it out the front door.
"your car is unlocked," she told symere on her way back through the entrance, putting his keys on the kitchen counter. i heard him say thank you to her before making his way to his car.
i sat in a kitchen chair, leaning my face on my open hand as i waited for symere to come back. syd snickered at me, walking around the kitchen island to stand across from me.
"what?" i asked her with happy tone, pulling my pants down to distract myself from making a face that'll give her satisfaction.
"aw, you do like him." she grinned to herself, looking down at her phone.
"he ight," i teased, turning in the chair so i wasn't sideways. i played with the chained bracelets that glowed on my brown skin, massaging the area where they might've been too tight.
"whatever. i just think it's so crazy that he liked you for such a long time. i was ready for him to get over you to be honest," she stated randomly, laying her phone flat against the countertop, and looking at me with aloof eyes.
"he's really liked me since high school?" i asked her in shock. she nodded her head slowly, rolling in her eyes. i knew he liked me, but i thought he would get over it. clearly he didn't but, as selfish as it sounds, i was kinda glad he didn't.
in high school, i was older so i didn't see him as much until we had one cooking class together but when i did, i always thought he looked cute. just cute. nothing more. it would be bold to say i was straight up attracted to him because i didn't completely know my sexuality at the time. when i reached college, i knew i liked guys but he wasn't around and i didn't feel like exploring, so lazily i stuck with girls.
my attraction to him fucked me up which is why i was always ignoring him in culinary and avoided him in college despite him being well known around already as a freshman, despite his status. i thought i was over my little infatuation with symere until he started tutoring me then the feelings came back with quickness.
even though he caught my eye again, so did megan. i actually wanted him next to me during my last football game during the season but since i was (and still am) a popular football player, i focused on her more and i guess that clouded my attraction to symere. i also didn't want people to know my sexuality.
i still don't to this day.
the idea of having a girl by my side made me more comfortable and fit the football player stereotype. i knew i wouldn't get judged or ridiculed and still would have opportunities for scholarships and positive feedback from sports news. destin, who knew i like symere before i could even figure out my feelings, always told me it didn't matter.
it did though. it mattered to the team, to me, to my bitch ass father... i bit the inside of my cheek, trying to think of ways i can avoid my dad but still see alexis.
my mind was blank.
"you okay?" syd asked me in a quiet voice. i sighed, wanting to tell her about my situation but i heard footsteps come to the door and fast, shutting me up.
"can you guys help me take the rest of the bags to the car?" symere asked in a bold voice. his look he gave us was bashful however and his cheeks were visibly flushed red, mixing in with the brown of his cheeks.
"yeah we can," syd spoke for us. my voice was stuck in my throat as i slid off the chair. syd grabbed two bags and walked out. i grab the last two, slanging them over my shoulder. symere stopped me from walking out, holding onto my shoulder gently.
i held my breath he looked at me with concern.
"you okay?" he asked me.
"yeah, i'm good." he smiled at my answer and walked out with me, closing the door unlocked. when we reached his car, syd was already done putting up the bags.
she quickly grabbed symere and brought him into a big hug. i smiled at them, putting the bags on the ground to open a car door.
"i'm gonna miss you bum," i heard syd say, still keeping sy in a tight hug. symere hummed at the affection.
"i'll be back in a week before the break is even over sis." symere patted her back, taking a small step back.
"true but it's gonna be lonely 'cause steve isn't here to bug the fuck out of me." syd said to symere, rolling her eyes as she walked with him. i finished putting the bags in the car, closing the door before standing awkwardly in front of them as they conversed.
"bye symere. i love you and text me when you make it to ya moms." syd quickly kissed his forehead, waving her tiny hand at me with a large smile before trotting off back into the building.
symere waved at her before turning his direction to me. he put his arms out to me with a soft grin. i pulled him into a hug, leaning my head down to lay my chin on top of his head. he squeezed my waist tighter.
"you hugging me like you not finna see me in forever," i told him playfully, secretly enjoying how admirable he was being.
"shut up and don't ruin the moment." he backed away from me, adjusting the keys in his hand. he looked up at me through his dark brown eyes, begging me to say something else. i cleared my throat and shifted my left foot against the concrete.
"ight, um, i'll see you later?" symere says, grabbing the car door handle, lightly gripping it. he twitched his nose in anticipation. for what? i don't know. but they way he was glanced at my lips then shyly look down answered my question. i can do this... it's just like kissing a girl. right?
"okay, text me or facetime me. whatever you want. bye symere," i told him after just standing there, not really not knowing what to do.
i walked backwards with my hands in my jacket pocket. symere's face expressed defeat though he sported a lopsided smile.
"bye jordan." he turned around to pull open his car door as i faced the opposite direction, thinking about where my next destination was gonna be. my heart felt heavy. it's just symere... it's just a guy. a guy i'm starting to really like. destin's words slowly replayed in my head.
there's nothing wrong with liking symere...
i had to do it and now, not later. if i didn't do it now, i would definitely regret it later. quickly turning around, i jogged back to symere's car. he rolled down his window with a confused expression.
"aye, can you step out?" i asked him, the anticipation running through my blood causing my hands to shake beside my legs.
"um, okay..." he trailed off, waiting for me to step back as he opened the car door and stepped out. i dried my sweaty hands on my jeans, staring at symere who leaned on his car waiting on me to say something to him.
"jordan, what's up? are you oka-"
i looked around to make sure the coast was clear before stepping in front of him quickly, pressing my front flushed against his. i took his face in my hands, closing my eyes and pulling his face to mine, connecting my lips with his softly.
he responded immediately, humming when i started to move my lips against his carefully. he kissed me with ease. his lips... they were soft and warm and everything i imagined it to be.
symere wrapped his tinier arms around my neck and stood on his tippy toes to kiss me easier. i lowered my hands to his waist, gripping it lightly despite the excitement that ran through my body and the heat that rushed to my stomach. i felt like i was suffocating and it felt amazing.
his lips felt so good.
his body felt like it was meant to be against mine.
i was on cloud nine.
we pulled back at the same time, breathing heavily to catch our breath, the passionate kiss still burning on our lips. he unwrapped his arms from around my neck, placing his plans flat against my chest, feeling my firm muscles under my shirt as he lowered his feet.
"why'd you do that?" he asked me in a hush tone with smile. i bit my bottom lip, our faces still very close. i gently pushed his back against his car with our bodies still connected. i looked at him up and down, licking my lips.
"because if i didn't do it now i would've regretted it." he looked down at my response, trying to hide his faint grin. i put a hand under his chin to lift his head back up, pecking his lips one more time. he fluttered his eyes as i pulled away from him with all my strength, subsiding the urge to kiss his lips again.
"did you regret it?" his voice was quiet and his body was slumped.
"nah. not at all." i shook my head. symere's phone rang in his pocket loudly. he checked who was calling and showed me the screen that displayed his mom's contact name.
"okay i really gotta go. if i don't, her annoying ass is gonna keep calling me," he told me. i chuckled and nodded my head, grabbing his hand to rub his tattooed knuckles before letting go.
"ight. i'm gonna miss you." he perked his head up at my honesty and held his arms out. i gave him a hug, patting his ass playfully which made him shove me away slightly.
"i'll miss you too. i'll facetime you." his phone kept on ringing.
"okay, great. bye sy," i waved and he waved back, getting back in his car and started it. i turned around, trotting back to the building with a calm aura, hearing the sound of the engine growling become lower and lower.
••
"i'm not visiting my parents until wednesday. there's nothing to do," i complained, tossing a football in the air while destin cooks.
"thee jordan carter has nothing to do on spring break? that's a fucking shocker," he sneered at me, stirring his food more aggressively. i held the football in my hand, tracing my fingers over it.
"have you ever thought about quitting football?" i asked destin who looked complete stressed out by the way his cake mix was turning out. he stopped stirring, letting the spoon slowly sink down.
"i did. well, am. i'm, uh, heading to culinary school next year. after break, i gotta make a visit," he told me with a weary expression.
in shock, i sat up from the couch, placing the football in my lap.
"you for real quit? like you told coach reeves what's up?"
destin nodded, seriousness written across his facial features. "yeah."
"why? you're great. all that scholarship money is in the trash." he shrugged his shoulders, pour the mix in a pan.
"got tired of doing something i ain't really care about over some petty ass money. you though? you should stay. don't quit if you thinking about it. you're one of the best. even coach reeves agreed you might be in NFL later in life and that says a lot coming from his hating ass."
i shook my head, putting the football down as i got up from the coach to walk to the kitchen and lean on the stone cold countertop.
"but destin you'll be gone and i need you here bruh. i-"
"jordan," he started sternly, making me shut up. "you act like i'm going to a different state. i'll still be around. i'm just over sports."
"when did you make this decision?"
"last week."
"why didn't you tell me?" i asked once more sitting straight up instead of leaning.
"because you had shit going on and i didn't wanna add on to the stress."
"this is stressing me out nigga." i emphasized to him, biting the inside of my cheek. destin put the pan in the oven and took his gloves off, turning around eventually to look at me.
"destin, you're like family to me, like a big bro. i'm about to visit my dad too and if something happens who can- who can i go to?" my chest started to tighten. i felt sick. destin picked up on my body language, quickly walking over to my side and putting both hands on my shoulders, rubbing them.
"relax. i'll always be here. always. coach reeves is always here to. nigga basically raised the both of us, right?" i nodded my head.
"exactly. it'll be alright. you have symere too who i know loves to help people especially you."
i sighed to the mention of symere. it's only been like 4 hours and i already miss him to be honest. should've got another kiss.
"i'm tired of him helping me. i'm tired of people helping me period. i can honestly handle my own but i still want you with me," i told destin who was still trying to get me to relax more.
"again i'll be here with you. even when i'm not." i didn't know what that meant but i didn't have time to think about it either 'cause destin quickly gave me a firm hug, causing me to bend my back slightly.
"i love you jordan."
"love you too des."
••