I was looking for siongs for the sound track for this story! SO Carly here suggested this song that I feel plays into this chapter... =D Thank you!
Chapter9
it just didn't feel right. I had woken up to a sunny day with a dreamless sleep. I stood in front of the window watching the millions of people rushig to work while I just stood there in my gray shorts and my bra. Megan stuffed her cell phone behind me and patted my shoulder. I didn't turn around. I couldn't. Everything was just a mess in my head. Nothing made sense. Megan sighed and forcefully turned me around. Her eyes were smeared with neutral shades of brown and black mascara.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her cool blue eyes stared at me trying to read me. I blinked a few times before I answered.
"Nothing just feeling a bit off." I lied watching as her straight lip turned into a frown.
"Really? You haven't said a word since last night. Barely made eye contact." she asked movin back. She studied me carefully.
"I didn't sleep last night and I just feel awful, my head is killing me." I lied again. Sure I was feeling sick but not in the sense I was putting it into.
"You should go get some sleep" she said as she kissed my cheek and gave me a hug good bye. She opened the door and ran out letting the door slowly swing shut. I ignored the way Mr.Carters son Andy was ogling me and locked the door. What to do?
I decided to catch upon my reading. I got on to the tread mill as I slipped my head phones into my ears. Now this was the plus sde to audio books. I closed my eyes as I started to walk slowly and heard the soothing voice of a guy reading. I always loved being told a story no matter what the form. I opened my eyes again watching my cell phone screen light up. I slowed to a stop and jumped off the machine. I had sweat dripping down my back and smearing last nights eye liner.
"Hi mom" I said reluctantly. She coughed then clears her throat.
"Kim." she said monoutnously. I sighed and regretted the words I had said to her atsinner the other night.
"Mom. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone overboard." I confessed feeling my back muscles tightened.
"It's my fault sweet heart. I'm sorry, but that's not why I called. I put that night behind me. I forgive you" she said and sighed. There was something else. She usually kept on talking, but right now she paused after every word choosing it carefully.
"Mom what's wrong?" I asked feeling the tension make way to my head.
"When I saw you at dinner...I though-" she paused gathering her thoughts. I took in a deep breath and waited.
"When someone loves someone they tend to do crazy things. Like listen to the kind of music the other likes even if it meant to sit in front of the speaker for four hours straight and listen to Ray Charles." she cleared her throat again.
"Mom what is it?" I asked.
"I'm tired of sitting on the couch listening to Ray Charles. I don't want to sit there with your father and listen to that awful music." she said taking in a deep breath.
"You called me to tell me how much you hate listening to Jazz? You don't have to listen mom. 0 I told her and rolled my eyes; a habit I have taken a liking to for the past two weeks.
"You don't understand" she said "I'm done-"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I'm leaving your father Kim." she said. It was so easily said, so casually stated that I didn't get what she meant until I took a few seconds to breath.
"You can't leave daddy." I whispered. Dad , no matter how much he hated for me to come here I was still his little girl.
"I am... I just did" she said with a sigh.
"Why?" I asked dropping on to the sofa. Mom's leaving dad. Okay we can get through this. She's just probably on PMS.
"I loved him, but he nver loved me. It was always a compromise. I just can't feel the sparks any more." she said I could hear myself growl.
"That's not a good enough reason to leave a sixty seven year old man alone" I said recalling dads warm eyes that have gotten cool and silver over the years.
"You inspired me" she giggled. I gripped the phone tighter.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You had three guys fighting over you- well two at least the handsome fellow with the brown eyesjuay watched you as if uo were his indulgence." she took a pause before she began again. "You were so full of life! I don't want to be tied down any more, Phil is just-boring" she said.
"Don't you dare blame your hormone problems on me!" I snapped. How could she blame her for something so hideous?
"I'm not blaming it on you. I want to thank you !" she mused. "You were so full of life!"
"I was trying to keep the two men from grabbing my boobs! That was self defense a sorry scene of my sorry love life! " I yelled and heard her gasp.
"There's no going back. I made my decisions" she said straight up. I felt my hair fall on to my face. I pulled my hair back with the free hand and took in a deep breath.
"And I made mine. You only have one daughter" I said and threw the phone across the living room. It hit the beige wall cracking and falling on to the marble floor into a million pieces.
There was a light knock on the door. I pulled on my musty blue robe and opened the wooden door to be greeted by a dozen roses. Probably for Megan. She has been going out a lot these days. She's barely home at night.
"Uh-Kim K.Damion?" the guy behind the bouget asked writing something down on his clip board. I nodded as he pushed the roses into my hands.
"These are for me?" I asked watching the gray in the guys eyes shine.
"Yes ma'm. If you would be kind enough to sign here." he said giving me a pen. I held the bouqet like a baby with my left hand while I signed the paper for a confirmation of the delivery.
"Good day" he said and left. Who could have sent me flowers? I placed them on the table and held my head between my hands. Fighting with mom and hearing that my father was going to be dumped were not on my list of things to do before I die. I looked at the flowers guessing who might have set them to me. It could be Luther he had called me over fifty times after the dinner to appogize and left voice messages saying how he would like to make it up. I pushed the flowers aside and pulled on the white card which was carved with small golden boats around the edges.
"These roses symbolizes what I hold with in. I want to see you Kim- Jake" I read to myself. Why is he doing this? He has Donna he needs to stop playing with my mind. Even though I was playing the he's married card, I knew I wanted to jump on him like a tiger jumps her prey.
I couldn't sit at home any more. I had to get out and with that I found myself typing rapidly at the office. I sighed as I watched Lily giggle. Lance poked her and she would laugh even harder. The office was Alice. Everyone was chattering and laughing during the lunch break while I tried to bury myself in work.
"Hungry?" Megan asked handing me a brown paper bag from McDonalds.
"Thanks" I said sliding the bag far away. I didn't need- want human contact.
"Stop it!" she yelled. Lance and Lily turned around to watch. Lance made his way towards me and I sighed. There was no way of getting out of this one.
"You okay Kim? Lance asked. I stared into his sky ble eyes and realized he was worried.
"Yeah-" I couldn't lie any more. I felt my throat clog up from the sobs I pushed back. No not in the office not here in front of all these people. I sighed and took deep breathes before continuing. I was holding it in. I knew it was bad but I couldn't be weak. There was no use of crying.
"Kimmy, please tell us" Megan said . She only uses that nickname when one she needs a favor or when she's truly worried.
"Mom and dad are splitting up" I mumbled. Lance nodded thought fully while Megan threw her arms around me.
"Oh darling. When did you find out?" she asked.
"This morning" I told them.
"It's going to be okay" Megan comforted me.
"I'm not a little kid Meg; they're adults, and I don't care what they do." I said and shuddered at my cool tone.
"I just don't get why." I confessed.
"Simple. She wants a boy toy but doesn't wants to cheat. I saw it coming when I heard she dyedher hair red" he said. I didn't know I I should take that as an insult or be offended but I pushed back and laughed. Lance smiled glad to put a smile on my face. I got up holding him arms length apart and kissed his cheek.
"I needed that" I told him kissing him again. This time he blushed and looked towards Lily. I waved at her and she returned the smile.
"Ms.Damion-" I heard my name but didn't turn around. I had forgotten about the roses, about the conffesssion that should never be repeated.
"Mr. Blaire." I said turning around and looked down at the floor. Lance and Megan watched me carefully and exchanged a quick glance. They rushed to their cubicles and got busy.
"You're late" he stated. I sighed.
"I know" I said.
"Meet me in my office in ten minutes" he said walking and then stopped. "Don't be late" he said and went into his office.
I shrugged at Megan who kept her mouth shut while her eyes did the talking. I ignored Lance and walked slowly towards the cooler.
"Megan are you okay? You look pale" Lily said coming around to grab one of the paper cup.
"I'm fine" I sighed.
"Mr. Blair looked a bit angry" Lily commented. I nodded drinking the water welcoming the cool liquid.
"Called me in his office..." I said to myself. Lily walked back to her cubicle leaving me alone.
His office was dim lit. The beige light from the near by lamp spilled on the floor. I looked over at the desk where papers were scattered all over in piles. Jake was on the lap top typing and looked up. He sighed then shut his laptop.
"Kim" he said getting up. He walked over to me slowly. I felt the sweat drip down my forehead as his body stood just inches away from me.
"Did you get the roses?" he asked.
"Jake I can't-"
"What?"
"Why did you send me the roses?" I asked.
"You didn't like them?" he asked his caramel eyes melting. I took a deep breath before I could stop functioning.
"I did but-"
"But what?" he inched closer his hand touched my face. His thumb rubbed the skin under my eyes. I shuddered at the pleasure.
"Jake we can't do this" I said pulling away but he had a firm grip on me. I couldn't look at him.
"Why not?" he questioned brushing his lips against mine and I sighed. His breath was enchanting. It held me erasing everything I wanted to say to him. His breath blew lightly on my face as he kissed me again.
"Please- I won't be able to control myself" I said melting in his hold.
"That's what I want. I want you Kim. I don't know for how long but I want you." he said his hands tightening around my waist.
"You're married" I whispered against his wam skin.
"Not a good enough excuse"
"It is for me" I said
"I'm going to divorce her- I want to leave her." he said and was about to kiss me when the door knob jiggled. It twisted and Jake threw me out of his arms. I balanced myself and fixed my shirt. He patted my shoulder with a sorry gaze. I nodded forgiving him for the push. I watched the door open and Donna ran through jumping on to Jake. Her red nails grabbed Jakes head and pushed it into her mouth. Her lips mushed against his which made me blush. Jake groaned pulling away slowly.
"Donna-" he said surprised.
"I'm so sorry! Jake honey I'm never going to fight with you again." she said and hugged him tightly. Jake turned to look at me and I looked away.
"Can me and my husband have a moment alone?" she asked looking me over with her steel eyes. I nodded and walked out. Jake stared at me I knew his eyes were on me.
"Having fun with the boss?" Ian asked as I stepped out. I watched his face and turned towards the elevator.
"It was just a meeting" I told him.
"Right- about?"
"None of your buisness" I said walking into the elevator. He followed as I pressed the door close button. I couldn't stay in the office. What was I doing kissing him? He is a married man- I couldn't.
Why is he doing this? I want him god yes but it's wrong. I can't have him! I can't.
"That's where you're wrong. I'm his partner and I havevery right to know what's going on. So every thing is my buisness including your meeting."
"Ian-"
"I'm warning you right now- don't get involved" he said. "It's just lust, you two will have sex and then maybe more sex then he would just throw you out and never look back like you're some kind of whore" he spat. My hand flew and slapped his cheek. His eyes turned red. They weren't sparkling but burning. His hands came across my shoulder pinning me to the wall. He pushed the stop button and the elevator stopped in mid air. His shoulders over powered me. I was scared no lie but I couldn't show that. His strong jaw clenched then un clenched then clenched again.
"I don't want to ruin your sister's marriage Ian. Trust me , you don't have to worry about me ruining her marriage." I said looking at his shoes. His grip tightened to the point where his fingers began to push into her bones.
"Donna is the last thing I care about" he said. There was banging on the door. Ian looked at the silver metal door and sighed. He let go and ran his hands through his hair. I looked at him my mouth half open. He pressed the start button and the elevator jumped open. I breathed out and in and watched Ian walk out to the street.
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