I roll over in my well-cushioned mattress and cover my face with my long blonde hair.
It's grown to be quite long and I've stopped bothering to cut it.
I think about rising up and out of bed but I haven't the energy unless Eros calls for me. I occasionally do not even answer to Poseidon when I don't have the patience to deal with his constant advances. I don't mind the flattery, but there are certain times that I'll do nothing but reject him flatly and go back to my room with my child.
He's grown quite a bit in the past while sprouting beautiful golden locks and his eyes sparkle more and more every day.
He's going to break hearts everywhere for years to come. That is certain..and I couldn't be more proud.
Besides that, things have been quite interesting since I left Olympus.
Eventually, the interest in my adulterous actions quietened down after some time in Olympus. Eventually, I also stopped listening. The words couldn't wander around in my head anymore and very little gossip reaches this domain anyhow.
It is just me and Eros now...and occasionally Poseidon when I'm feeling lonely...and desperate for the affection I've been missing so terribly and I can't resist his advances anymore.
The bed often feels empty at night, even though I am used to sleeping alone since Hephaestus and I no longer shared a bed for most of our marriage, and my primary lover Ares, could not discretely share a bed with me even if he wanted to or was around often enough to do so. During the time that I spent with Adonis he and I would share a bed at his palace...but that has long since ended with the horns of Ares' bull.
Poseidon has been good to me but needy. His servants wait on me daily without fail as if I am their Queen. Who knows, maybe Poseidon has been foolish enough to believe that I would ever consider being his Queen - not that he has asked directly at this time...but I suspect that proposal will be coming soon.
If he were to ask, I am terrified that I would be lonely enough to say yes out of fear that I will never love again.
Such a terrible, terrible feeling that is...to give in to someone that you do not love just for the companionship and fear that you will never have such a thing again if you turn the offer down.
I hate that I find such a safety blanket so appealing...just in case Ares never returns or I never find him...or worse, he rejects me.
But I am not one to accept my fate so easily.
And I am not particularly enchanted with the idea of starting another lie of a marriage if I don't have to.
I have Eros now, thankfully, and he's becoming more of a man each day. That will have to be enough until things can be different if such a thing can bless my dark heart...
Who's to tell? But despite how large Olympus is, we are bound to cross paths again and our chemistry is undeniable. I'll have to rely on that possibility for now.
He wouldn't deny my advances, would he?
No, I pray that it doesn't come to that. I hope there might not ever be a day that he does not want me.
He's just upset. He was humiliated and left, that's all. He is not a courageous man when it comes to things that occur off of the battlefield. That is a sad truth that I have come to realize.
He could not deal with that confrontation. He could not deal with the curious and judgmental eyes spying on both of us on that terrible, terrible day.
I could not either. But I had to.
But he still left me.
I roll over and see Eros' blue eyes peering up at me over the edge of the bed.
My heart aches for his father no matter what I do but I put on a smile for him. "Who's that I spy there?" I smile brightly and scrunch up my nose. Little Eros ducks immediately, giggling in his high pitched squeal of a voice. "NO ONE!"
"Oh, really? Is that so?" I throw my legs over the side of the bed and pounce in the direction he ducked, only to find the ground bare. I stare at the spot for a moment with a scrunched expression before looking under the bed deliriously.
Perhaps my child is a better escape artist than I thought...
"Eros?" I say with a tad of annoyance but mostly worry. "Come on, this is no time for tricks."
"Mommy, I'm right here."
The voice echoes from beneath the bed. I squint and lean closer, only to suddenly be startled by the sensation of his tiny little hand cupping my cheek. "Mommy. Can't you see me?"
I stare blankly and shake my head. I must have finally lost it... "No...as a matter of fact, I don't. What in Olympus have you done to yourself, Eros?"
Eros stays quiet for a second while this realization sits in the air for both of us. "I'VE TURNED INVISIBLE! MOMMY! I'M INVISIBLE!"
Disappointment crosses my face as I accept this as one of his newfound powers finally emerging. "Yes, because that is every mother's wish...for her child to literally have the ability to disappear." I rip myself up from under the bed and sigh exaggeratedly. "How will I ever find my child again?" I play along with his happiness and try not to show my disappointment, instead turning this into the grandest game of hide and seek there ever was.
Eros giggles and shuffles under the bed before turning visible again with ease and coming up from his hiding place. He plucks up my hand in his and plants a small kiss on it. "Don't worry, mommy, I would never hide from you. You will always be able to find me..."
I stare at my boy with adoration in my eyes. How did I ever get so lucky?