Ashley
"Ashley, shut that fucking phone off."
I jolt awake and sat up, I turn to look at Venus who was looking at me with an annoyed look on her face.
"W-What?" I stutter, looking at her completely confused.
"Your God damn phone is vibrating and its fucking irking me." Venus says, rolling her eyes at me before pulling the blanket up to her head.
I looked down at my phone and noticed that I was getting a call from my mum. I hadn't noticed my phone was vibrating until she pointed it out. "Oh, uh, yeah." I mumble.
I stayed at the hospital with Audrey because we thought Venus needed some company. I blankly started at my phone, debating if I should answer or not. Just then, Audrey throws a pillow at me mumbling something about 'Annoying' and 'Fuck'. I dodged it right before it hit my face and I threw it back at her, the pillow bounced off of the back of her head. I giggled as her hair bounced and she groans. I grabbed my phone and walked outside, answering it just before the last ring.
"Hello?" I yawn and stretch a little.
"Hey, Ash. It's mum." I hear her sigh. She sounded really sad and disappointed.
"What's wrong?" I ask, knitting my eyebrows together in concern. I run my hand through my hair and lean against the wall beside the door.
"Your dad has to go back to America when he can move again and he wants us to move there for the time that he's recovering." She says sadly. "I know you don't want to go because you've actually grown into these friends but this is what your father wants and needs."
"Oh, okay." I say quietly. I shut my eyes and and pursue my lips. As much as I want to argue and stay, I kinda owe dad one and I miss him so much. I want to stay here so bad because the people here are so great and I still have to sort my feelings and solve the big jigsaw puzzle that is called love.
"I'm sorry darling, can I talk to your brother?" She asks. I can tell she was unhappy about leaving, too.
"Nathaniel isn't with me at the moment. I'm at the hospital and he's at our friends house." I say. I didn't mean to be rude but I just hung up. I have so much mixed feelings right now and I'm just so overwhelmed.
I shove my phone in the pocket of my pajamas and walk back inside the room. Venus was awake now but Audrey was still asleep. Venus was just messing around with her phone, doing who knows what. I start to pack up my stuff and Venus looked at me puzzled.
"I thought you didn't have to go back to the UK until midnight." She says, locking her phone and putting it down.
"I have to go home and explain some things." I say dejectedly.
"What's wrong babe?" She says. She must've noticed the sad in my voice.
"Besides the fact that you're dying, I have to move again. Only this time I have to move to a different country." I explain.
"Oh, why?" She asks.
"It's a long story, I really gotta go Ve." I say, grabbing all my stuff and walking out of the hospital room. I didn't even bother changing out of my pajama pants and tank top, didn't bother to check how I looked and fix my bed head. I hauled a taxi over and I told the taxi driver the directions to Audrey's and Venus' house. I rubbed underneath my eyes and tried to straighten my hair out then put it up in a pony tail.
I got to their house not too long after and I quickly payed the taxi driver and walking down the driveway. I throw the door open and they all turned to look at me from their seats in the living room, they were watching The Addams Family. Classic.
"Ashley, hey." Harry says, sitting up in his seat. "We just ordered some pizza, come sit down and watch The Addams Family with us."
I just shook my head and dropped my stuff on the floor. I walk back outside and tried to call Niall a couple times on FaceTime but he never responded, after about four times it said he wasn't available. I groaned and curled up into a ball on the porch. I leaned my back against the wall and hid my face between my knees. Moments later, I heard the door open and close and felt somebody sit beside me. The person kept quiet for a couple of minutes before putting a hand on my shoulder and speaking.
"Ashley." I hear the soft voice of Emily. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, just got a lot in my mind." I say, looking up at her and smiling.
"Why don't you come inside and shower or something, you'll be alright." She says, hugging me before pulling me up to my feet. I nodded and grabbed some stuff to change into from my backpack and quickly took a shower. I put on a pair of shorts and my old volleyball t-shirt. I walked downstairs and found no space in the couch. I just flopped down on Harry's, Nathaniel's, & Emily's lap. Emily whined for a bit but just let it go.
"Is something bugging you? You seem irritable." Nathaniel asks.
"My braces are to tight and they're hurting me." I say, partially lying and partially saying the truth. I rolled off their laps and sat down on the floor facing them.
"We go back home at midnight so make sure to finish unfinished business." Dean says without looking up from his phone, typing things on his phone. I tried to look at his screen but he yanked it out of my view.
"Got something to hide, pretty boy?" I say, smirking at him. Sometimes I love saying that to mess with guys.
"No." He says, laughing. "I just don't like it when people look at my phone when it's none of their business."
"Amen!" Emily shouts.
This group of friends are so different from each other, but so alike at the same time.
It's so weird, but I love it.
__________________________
Venus
I giggled as Daniel sent me a funny text message, at least I found it funny. We have a weird sense of humor, it's quite difficult to explain.
"What are you laughing and smiling about?" Audrey asks, looking up from her phone.
"Oh, I'm just texting my babe." I say, giggling.
"Why do you call him babe when you guys aren't even dating." She laughs.
"Because why not? Friends call each other bae but you ain't complaining." I say, sticking my tounge out at her. It's quite a weird story how me and Danny started calling each other babe, actually. I was at school and he wasn't and we usually text the entire day when he's not at school, we text even in class (because I'm sneaky like that). One day, he was texting me when he stayed home sick and he whined about his head hurting and I texted him back saying 'Sorry babe' and I blushed. I didn't mean to call him babe, I was texting Audrey and I usually called her 'Babe' so I accidentally called Danny babe. I texted him afterwards saying how embarrassing it was and he said it was nothing. I was whining and he said 'But babe nothing. See, it isn't weird.' And we kept on texting each other, calling each other babe in every text. So it sort of became a thing.
"When am I going to meet this guy?" Audrey asks, bringing me back from my little flashback.
"During my funeral." I say nonchalantly. I've already accepted the fact that I'm going to die.
"Venus!" Audrey gasps, throwing a pillow at me. "Don't say that!"
"Well, it's true. Unless he doesn't care enough to see me be lowered six feet underground." I shrug. Sometimes I say bad things without noticing them, once I realized what I said I'd say sorry a lot. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I haven't taken my pills, sorry."
"Want me to sneak in some outside food for you so you can take your pills?" Audrey asks, getting up and gathering her stuff to leave.
"Yes please." I groan. "Hospital food is disgusting."
"Well, what do you want?"
"If you get Panda Express I will love you forever."
"Deal."
I laugh and watch her leave the room. I started to feel really lonely and looked through my list of people to FaceTime. I called Logan. He's best friend's with Daniel and I'm best friend's with Daniel therefore I'm best friend's with Logan. It only works that way, a chain of best friends. He answers it and I laughed because he had a blunt between his lips.
"Venus!" He says, putting the blunt away. "I haven't heard from you in awhile. Daniel and I miss you."
I blush and smile. "I miss you guys, too. I've been kind of just.. isolating? Myself from everyone."
"Where are you now?" He says, frowning. He must've seen how I was in a hospital bed and the fact that I had a tube in my nose.
"Hospital." I sigh. "I'm dying."
Logan fell quiet. Slowly taking it in. Logan and I were pretty tight. Best friends. It hurt knowing that I'm hurting all my friends because I couldn't get the damn chemotherapy to at least try to be alive. I can't live my life knowing I survived this fight that my mother didn't. It's just sad and unright. Not to mention the guilt trip I've been having ever since Harry shoved the truth in my face.
"What of?" He asks after a couple minutes of silence.
"Lung cancer." I gulped, stifling back my tears. "Just like my mum."
"Venus, don't cry. You'll get through this, you're strong. I know you." Logan says, smiling at me sadly.
"That's the thing, Logan, I'm not strong. I like to make it seem like I am, but I'm not. And out of all the people, you should know this." I say, biting my lip to prevent myself from frowning. Daniel and Logan are my 'go-to' people. They're the people I rant and vent to. Just spilling my problems on them with no care to the world.
"What do you mean?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows at me.
"I can't take the chemo. I'm scared. I hate this damn phobia." I say. Silently cursing myself for letting my tears spill. I drop my phone beside me and pull myself to sit up. I pull my knees to my chest and burried my face in between my knees and cried.
"I love you, Venus." Logan says after a couple of minutes. I sniffle and smile, laughing lightly to lighten the mood.
"Love you, too, Logan."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I was just laying in my hospital bed, finding it difficult to entertain myself since Audrey left to go to work a couple hours earlier and nobody is here. I was scrolling through 9GAG (A meme app/site for you noobs out there) when there was a knock on the door. I furrow my eyebrows and sit up.
"Come in." I say and the door opens. Harry stands there, giving me a small smile. "Harry if you're going to bitch at me you're welcome to just leave. I'm not up for your shit."
"I'm not here to be an asshole to you. I'm really sorry about being mean or rude to you. I just don't know how to contain myself sometimes." Harry says. "Can I come in?"
"Sure." I nod. I felt like I was dying. Well, I am dying but you know. I'm so weak at the moment I can't believe I'm letting this happen to me.
Harry steps inside and takes a seat at the chair beside me. I watch him as he takes his phone out and scrolls through his notes.
"So, I, uh, I wrote a song." He says, laughing nervously. He had a silly little crooked shy smile, looking at me in the corner of his eyes.
I raise my eyebrows and smile. "I remember the first song you made."
One time in 3rd grade Harry went up to the front of the class and sang a song he wrote about a cat. The whole class laughed at him besides me. I told him to keep chasing his dreams and that he'll get there.
"Don't go there." Harry laughs. "That was a long time ago. Though you did inspire me to write this song."
"Is it called the midget with two holes beneath her lips." I ask, laughing at my own joke. I do quite miss my snakebites though. I miss having them there to mess with.
"No," Harry laughs. "It's called 'Don't Let Me Go'. I've only got the first verse down, the bridge, and the chorus so bare with me."
I slightly frown from the title of the song but then nodded. "Let's hear it." Harry sat up straight and cleared his throat before starting to sing.
"Now, you were standing there right in front of me. I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe. All of a sudden these lights are blinding me, I never noticed how bright they would be. I saw in the corner there is a photograph, no doubt in my mind it's a picture of you. It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass. This bed was never made for two."
"I'll keep my eyes wide open. I'll keep my arms wide open. Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me go; 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone. Don't let me, Don't let me go, 'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone."
A moment of silence fell between us as I took in the song. I wonder who this song is about. It has a lot of meaning to it. It's not like 'Anaconda' by Nicki Minaj or 'Bubblegum' by Jason Derulo. It was such great lyrics I was starting to think he stole it somewhere from the internet. I knew Harry was a great singer, but I didn't know he's a great writer.
"That was really fucking good." I gasp. "Jesus Christ, Harry, how did you come up with these lyrics?"
"With a little bit of passion, inspiration, and emotions." Harry shrugged, smiling at me sheepishly. "I didn't think it was all that great, but thanks."
"Better than any piece of shit I've ever written, that's for fucking sure." I say, smiling at me. "You know, you're an asshole, but you've got a great voice and great intentions. Keep it up."
"Venus, why do you still deal with my shit sometimes even though I'm an ass to you?" Harry asks, standing up from the chair and standing beside my bed, learning on it with his elbows.
"I guess I've just got a soft spot for everybody and I understand everybody. I know everybody goes through a tough time so I try to be nice to them, at least they have a safe place around me. I hate the fact that some people are in pain and I just hope they could be happy, you know?"
"You're a great person, Venus." Harry says, smiling at me.
"By the way, Audrey fancies you." I nod and Harry's eyes widen.
"W-What?" He stutters, looking at me in utter shock.
The door opens and Dean stand there, looking at me and Harry with wide eyes.
"What the fuck is he doing here?" Dean spat. Harry flinched and stood up, putting his arms up in the air as if he was being arrested.
"Whoa there, I can talk to Venus. Don't act like you own her and you can control her. You might be dating her but that doesn't give you the fucking rights to be an ass to me. Just came here to talk, jack-ass." Harry says back, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Dean started to walk towards to Harry, like he was about to punch Harry.
"Don't fucking hurt Harry, Dean. We were just talking." I sigh. "If you hurt Harry I will be really mad."
Dean looks at me then sighs. Harry left the room, sending me a smile before walking out the door. Dean laid down beside me in my hospital bed and tried to cuddle, which was nearly impossible with all the tubes on it, but we made it happen. We made small talk until Audrey came back from work. Before Dean left, he asked me the impossible question.
"Do you still love me?"
The voice projected through the entire room. Audrey sat in the corner, trying to act like she was not paying attention.
"I don't know." I answered simply, knowing if I was just flat with him it would be less painful explaining why.
Dean simply nodded, trying to hide the fact that I just hurt him. It hurt me seeing him like this, specially if it was my fault. I truly cared and loved Dean. I didn't deserve him. I'm a terrible girlfriend and should never get the opportunity to get such a great boyfriend again.
"Okay, so this is it?" Dean asks, gulping and pushing his glasses back up his nose.
"Yeah." I choked out. I didn't realize I was crying until I started to run out of breath again. I gasped for air and I felt like I was going to die. "I CAN'T BREATH." I gasp out.
"Oh, shit, should I call a nurse or a doctor or something?!" Dean asks worriedly, Audrey stood up and was alarmed, too.
"No, just," I took a pause to try to catch my breath. "Higher the oxygen flow from the oxygen tank."
"How the fuck do you do that?" Audrey asks as she scurries over to my oxygen tank. I told her how to do it, taking pauses in between explaining since I was seriously out of breath every 5 words. By the time she fixed it I was already breathing normally and we all just burst out laughing from the stupid panic we were just in.
"Audrey, we need you back at your house. We need you to drive us to the airport." Dean tells Audrey. Audrey looks at me for permission, as if I would stop her.
"Go, you're needed. I'll be right here." I nod at her.
"But what if you can't breath again?" Audrey asks concernedly. I love Audrey, she's one of the only people who've actually expressed how much she loved and cared about me. At this point I'm proud to call her my Audrey. The Audrey Hepburn to my James Dean.
"I've got this little button to press for emergencies." I say pointing to my call light. It's a little red button connected by a wire to the wall, if you press it doctor's and nurses rush over to help.
"True, true." Audrey says. "Dean, you go on ahead downstairs to my car. I'll be down with you in a little bit." Dean nodded and started heading towards the door, he opens it and looks at me.
"I had a fun time being the person who could be there for you, bye Venus. I'll remember you." Dean says before walking out the door and closing it behind them. I couple of tears escaped my eye and Audrey hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. Audrey pulls away and looks at me with pity. I hate that look. I don't want to be pitied.
"Why don't you know if you love him?" Audrey asks.
"The same reason why I do know I love him." I tell her.
"How?"
"Anti-depressants don't only block the feeling of depression. But also blocks the feeling of everything. Like, love, for example. I'm taking anti-depressants because I love him and want to get better for him."
__________________________
Harry
After Audrey picked us up from the house we drove back to hospital because everyone wanted to say their goodbyes to Venus. Audrey and I stayed in the car, Dean went to walk around, the rest were saying goodbye. Audrey plugged her phone into her car and started playing songs by Ed Sheeran.
"Ed Sheeran is so good." I say, smiling at her.
Audrey looks at me in shock, as if I just said I kill bunnies in my freetime. "You know who Ed Sheeran is?!"
"Yeah?" I ask, chuckling and knitting my eyebrows together. "Why is that a surprise?"
"But you're a boy." She says. "Boys don't know who Ed Sheeran is."
"Ed Sheeran is from Britain and I'm from Britain, only idiots wouldn't know who he is."
We proceeded to make small talk and then I remembered what Venus told me earlier. Should I tell Audrey about it? Venus kind of said it to me out of nowhere and it caught me off guard.
"Venus told me you fancied me." I blurt out and my eyes widen. I blush and laughed nervously.
"Fancied you? What?" Audrey asks dumbfoundedly. Has she never heard of that term?
"Like, you have feelings for me." I nod. Audrey's eyes widen and she blushes, looking down at her lap. She's so cute.
"God damn it, Venus." She whispers to herself.
"Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute." I chuckle. Audrey looks up at me and looks at me confused. "I think it's cute that you have a little crush on me when you've only known me for a couple of days."
"Really?" She asks.
"Really." I answer. I lean forward and connected our lips. At first Audrey didn't kiss back but went with it anyways. I smiled against her lips and held back a giggle because 'Kiss Me' started to play.
Note to self: Meet Ed Sheeran and thank him.
Audrey and I quickly transition to making out which is sort of difficult. Because we're in the front seats of a car, in public, in a hospital, waiting for our friends to come back. My hand rested on her thigh and she had one of her hands on my cheek.
We were rudely disturbed by knocks and we pulled away. Audrey was blushing and I groaned. Jackasses.
Audrey unlocked the car and Dean, Nathaniel, Ashley, and Emily sat inside. Emily had to lie down on everybody's laps to try to avoid being caught for having four people in the back seat. Audrey drove us to the airport and the night was chilly. I mean it is nearly midnight.
"I'll message you." I tell Audrey, winking at her and walking away.
All the check-ins and baggage deposit and security check was all a blur. I was tired and I should've been asleep several hours ago. We took our seats and got settled. I sat beside Nathaniel and Ashley and thanked the God that I wasn't sitting besides Dean or Emily because God they are annoying during flights. I just want my sleep.
I put my earphones in and out my phone on shuffle. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
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Author's note[11/29/14]: I'M SO SO SO SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD FOR NOT UPDATING I LOVE ALL OF YOU. I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY WITH SO MANY THINGS AND IT JUST SUCKS SO BAD. There's a lot of drama going on in my life and I haven't been the happiest so it's difficult for me to find inspiration to write. Not to mention the fact that I get up 5:20 in the morning and get home around 7 pm just about everyday. I stay after school to hang out with my friends and I'm in theatre so yeah. It's really difficult for me to find time to write but I swear to you guys I'm trying.
I hope you liked this chapter even though it sucks. There's going to be a lot of things going on in the next couple of chapters so get ready.
Thank you for being patient for an update.
Love you guys,
Jean Chanty xx