A low moan rumbled in my throat, as my body began to slowly wake up. The pain hit me like a lightning bolt, but it wasn't as bad as before, when the doctor's began sawing down the exposed bone from my ripped out wings.
I whined at their loss, feeling as if a piece of my being was gone, taken by my brother.
"Michael," I whispered into the cool cotton under my face, finally letting the memory of my lost brother, and the rage he inflicted on my body. My heart ached with sorrow, and brokenness, but I did all I could to save him, and our father had finally stepped in. I feared what his wrath would do to my soul bruised brother, but I felt my father's love, and sadness, as Steve and his Avengers wheeled me into the large hospital room.
Everything was such a blur, and I tried to filter through time with new eyes, not human, nor angel.
I remember falling, and the pain as my body hit the dirt, as well as Steve's face, and the fear settling over his brow. I could still hear the whine of a machine, and the heat as it tore into my back, but the image of Steve and his smell, blocked out my discomfort. He stayed with me for hours, while his doctor's worked on my back, whispering encouragements, and feeding me information about his teammates, especially Stark, Tasha, and James.
I had no idea how much time had passed since then, but I slowly opened my eyes, and gingerly moved my fingers and toes. My back and chest still twitched with waves of pain, but it was slight compared to before.
Angel's always healed from their wounds, unless they were taken by angelic blades, or weapons, but I was no longer a soldier of heaven.
I was something else, and had no idea how quickly my body would heal, or if it would at all, but I cautiously lifted my head, automatically feeling Steve's bright light coming from my left.
He was sleeping, and a beard covered his pale, shadowed face, while his clothes looked dirty and wrinkled. I tilted my head at the silence, and worry he carried for me, even in his dreamless sleep.
My need to comfort him forced me to sit up, even through the pain and discomfort rippling over my bandaged chest and back. I breathed through the fast waves of soreness, feeling more liberated by the human concept of pain, as I put my clean feet on the cold tile, and shakily stood up. I pulled the wires from my arms, and the small circular pads on my chest, squinting as the machines began whining, but I waved my hand, immediately quieting them. I was surprised I still had the power to do such things, but my father promised I would be neither angel or human, but a gift to humanity, as Steve's team was. I assumed my father knew I would choose to fight alongside my heart and soul, before I did, and left me with a piece of grace, in order to do that.
"(Y/n)?" Steve gasped, and leaped out of his chair, stumbling forward, into my personal space, "how..what are you doing? You're still healing, you need to be in bed.."
"I have rested long enough," I remarked, stepping back, and bowing not head, at the man standing over me. His soul burned brighter than before, and it poured into my body, calming the pain, and overwhelming questions I had about my future. I wouldn't ask him to love me, as I loved him, not when he didn't really know who I was. Oh, he knew me, and we had been tethered together for one hundred years, but as an angel who had watched over humanity for eons, I knew love wasn't something you could force onto anyone. I believed him when he told me he missed me, and he was happy, I was here, safe, but I wouldn't ask for more than that.
"Honey, the wounds on your back alone..." Steve sighed, and lifted my head with his shaky hand.
"They are healing, and will be nothing but scars soon," I relinquished, but kept my tear filled eyes down on his chest.
"Are you going to look at me?" He asked softly, and stepped close enough that my chest brushed against his, sending an unfamiliar rush of tingles over my exposed skin. It centered in my abdomen, and spread between my legs, down to my toes. The feeling was swift, and uncomfortable, but my body was transfixed by his presence, and it was undeniable. My face flamed with a blush, and my muscles twitched with a need I've never experienced.
"My body burns..." I blurted out, and finally met his blue eyes.
"Does it hurt, do you need me to get Banner?" Steve asked quickly, as his nostrils flared, and his hand seemed to get warmer as we stared at each other.
"No!" I gasped, and swallowed the lump in my throat, blushing even more as my eyes flickered to his full lips, and strong body, "no.. I, it doesn't hurt, but my skin tingles, and..I..parts of me burn..I've never felt this before..and your presence.." I looked up at him again, and watched as a shy smile spread over his lips.
"Okay, well this is a little awkward to be having this conversation when you're wounded, and probably very confused, but I feel the same, and I think it's what we humans call, attraction," he snickered, and cautiously slipped his hands around my waist, "is this okay?"
"Yes," I stammered gruffily, as I involuntarily rubbed my bandaged chest against him, whining at the friction, "attraction? And these tingles, and need...they appear because I love you?" I blantantly asked, almost laughing at the shock on his face, but even through my travels and watchful eye, I was still naive of the intimacy human relationships could share. It wasn't something I fixated on, since, as an angel, it was a feeling I would never experience, but I was experiencing it now, and lost on the feeling of heat and pain.
"I...I think so," he replied, and stared down at my lips.
The need pushed me onto my tiptoes, and I brushed my lips against his, pushing aside the ache in my chest, only caring about the soft chapped lips devouring mine. I whimpered into his arms, as lights exploded behind my eyelids, and my body burst with a new feeling, one only my human could alleviate.
"Jesus Steve, she's been layed up for a week, and here you are smothering her!?" James announced loudly, interrupting our moment, but I clung to his strong shaky body, letting him push my body behind him. It was strange to have him protect me, but I sighed into his back, and peaked over his shoulder at the dark haired soldier and his red head.
"He was not smothering me, but alleviating my..my discomfort, the burning under my skin," I murmured, and watched Steve's face turn red.
I tilted my head as Natasha bit her lip to keep from laughing, while Bucky's mouth dropped open with a snort.
"Is that angel language for horny?" James asked, as Steve shook his head, and Tasha slapped the back of James head.
"You're going to hell," Tasha snickered.
"Horny?" I asked, failing to understand the word, or the vile threat of hell.
"Oh God, please stop," Steve whined, and nodded at Bruce as he walked in, seemingly surprised that I was on my feet, conversing with Steve's teammates.
For the next few days I was relocated to back to bed, while I reluctantly answered questions, and discussed what happened after my brother killed me. Steve stayed by my side, but I was still coming to terms with large range of feeling I was experiencing, and the way my body responded to the man holding my hand.
My back took another week before the skin finally stitched itself together, to the utter surprise of Steve and Bruce, but once I was healed, and allowed to leave the lab, I was at a loss at what to do, or where to go.
It wasn't that I didn't want to take my human's hand, as he led me away from the medical room I'd been in for a few weeks, but the fear of the unknown nearly knocked me to my knees. It was also new and left me grasping at Steve's hand with unasked questions.
His team was welcoming, and Natasha and Wanda filled my mind with the idea of clothes, shopping, new foods, and the soft giggles about the men they loved.
Eating and using the bathroom disgusted me, but Tasha was a breath of fresh air, and was a very astute teacher for such things, since my human seemed at a loss.
It wasn't till Steve brought me a corndog and fries, that I actually ate a full meal, moaning as my teeth crunched into the fried dough, and crinkled cut potatoes. He laughed as we sat in the kitchen, eating, and my heart soared with the sound, but I missed his hands on my waist like he'd done weeks ago.
Tony and Steve set up a large bedroom for me, next to Wanda's, and while I thanked them for their kindness, I kept my need to be with Steve to myself. I saw him everyday, and he spent most of his time with me, as I began going through the process of learning about humanity through my eyes, not the Angel's I was before.
I didn't like sleeping alone, and every night as I said goodbye to Steve, my heart felt like it broke a little, but I would head back to my room, and sit near the window wondering if his kiss was a mistake. Something Natasha called, an urge made in the heat of the moment, but I missed the way his hands felt on my waist, and the way his lips felt on mine. He was soft, encouraging, and still held my hand, or touched my face, but that's as far as he let his feelings go.
I began to wonder if I was doing something wrong, or if I was relocated to be a friend like Bucky or Tasha. I didn't want that, I wanted him, just as desperately as my lungs needed air, but I accepted what he gave me, treasuring every moment with me, never once regretting to leave my brother or my father.
Yet, after a month of falling into a routine, and even learning how to fire a gun, which seemed to bother Steve, I couldn't sleep, and I was exhausted, but it wasn't the exhaustion that forced me outside into the dark night, with a loneliness I couldn't stifle. Tears involuntarily poured from my eyes, and wouldn't stop as I looked up into the heavens, letting the wind flow through my fingers and hair. The breeze was cold for the thin shirt and shorts I had on, but it brushed against my tears ever comforting.
I was so lost in the range of emotions, that I barely registered Steve slowly coming up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shivering body. I immediately sank into his warmth, and slid my hands over his, absorbing all I could before I went back to my room, alone.
"What's wrong angel," he whispered, near my ear, and dropped his chin onto my heaving shoulders, "do you miss.." He didn't finish, but I knew what he was going to ask, cause it was something he seemed to still be coming to terms with. The decision I made, to come here, for him.
"I..I don't know Steve," I mumured, and swallowed my sobs, "but I do not regret my decision, as you seem to believe, I miss my brother's, yes, and my father, but I belong here, with you, and your family, I just..I am trying to come to terms with what I'm feeling, and I'm failing.." I blurted my partial misgivings, only to have him slide in front of me, and slip his hand under my chin.
"I'm right here, and I can't imagine how different this is all for you, but you can tell me what's wrong," he encouraged, while he lifted my head up, and brushed my tears off my face, "let me help you, like you've helped me, okay? Tell me what you're feeling."
I briefly closed my eyes, as my skin blushed, realizing in the month I had been here, I was thinking and feeling as humans do. I was full of vulnerability, and a little scared to have my needs layed bared to him, but he was right, and I wanted him to help me, because I was tumbling on a sea of discontent, and fear.
"Please," he sighed, and layed his cool forehead down on mine, creating an intimacy I so needed from him.
"I...I miss you," I blurted out, and refused to open my eyes, "and I do not know how to deal with this onslaught of loneliness I feel when I go to my room at night, I can't sleep..I do not expect you to alleviate it, but I'm falling under the weight, and I haven't found my way..."
The wind brushed against both of us, and filled the uncomfortable silence, as his hand tightened on my chin. I had bared my soul to Steve, right there on the grass, and while I had done it before with my brother's and father, this went deeper, and left me uncomfortable, and edgy, as if I was weak.
"Look at me," Steve demanded, after a long minute, and ran a thumb over my trembling lips, lighting my skin with same tingles I'd experienced everytime I was near him, but I couldn't do as he asked, not when my heart teetered on breaking.
"No," I argued, but without conviction.
"(Y/n), I need you to look at me sweetheart," he demanded again, stronger, and ran his lips over my nose and eyelids, forcing a small sigh to escape from my lips.
I opened my eyes, and a small smile spread over his lips, and he tilted his head at me, "I miss you too, but I wanted to give you some time to acclimate yourself, and heal honey. I thought a little time would give us a better idea of who we really are, and if you really still believe I'm worth all you've had to give up for me.."
"Why do you still question your worth? And I need you, not time, for I know exactly who you are, and what you've triumphed over, why do you continue to deny your honor?" I asked tiredly, and held his wrists in my hands.
Sadness flickered over his eyes, but he centered his gaze on me, "I..I don't know, I'm still trying to come to terms with things too," he sighed, and layed his lips against my forehead, "I.. I guess I'm wondering if I'm worth all this, worth everything you've had to go through, all because you.." he paused, "honey, you gave up your place up there, protected us against your brother's, and left the only place you call home, your powers your wings...all of it for me..I just don't understand why y..."
"Is human love that much different than mine, so different that you fear it?" I demanded, and leaned back from him, becoming agitated by his lack of belief, "this was my choice, just as your sacrifices were yours, does one outweigh the other, no, and I didn't abandon my father, nor my brother's, God's love and light can be seen everywhere, felt in all things, especially in the all consuming love I feel for you. Do not question what I have known and felt for you for a century Steve, and never let my sacrifices impede your own sense of self," I sighed, and quickly stood up, and backed away, "I cannot explain this to you any better than I already have, and I tire of this..." I snapped, surprised at my anger, as the sky rumbled with my edginess.
"We're not done here angel," he argued, and burst forward, surprising me with his speed, "you've been around Natasha for a month, and you're already coming at me with the same attitude she usually saves for Buck," he snickered, and held my angry body still with strong hands.
"I don't even know what that means," I hissed, shaking with rage, and my own self pity.
"Nevermind, but I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to answer me," he sighed, and forcefully turned me around.
"If it's more questions about my own sacrifices, I'd rather go to my room," I said as strongly as I could, but reached for his shirt, blowing in the wild winds.
"No, what do you want angel?" Steve asked, and pulled me closer, overpowering the smell of grass and trees.
"I..I don't understand," I whimpered, angry at my own weakness.
"What do you want, and while I believe every word that you said, about my sacrifices and you're own, I'm asking you as a man, in love with a fallen angel, what do you want doll?" Steve asked, and placed his lips near mine, sending electricity down my body.
His question would of knocked me back, but he held me still, but didn't move his lips from mine, and drew me in. I understood his question, but only one word came to mind.
"You, all I need is you," I whispered, and placed my lips on his, and wrapped my arms around his waist. My stomach exploded, and I let him lift me off my feet, into the shelter of his arms.
"You gotta give me more than that sweetheart," he moaned into my mouth, and pulled my legs around his waist. A flame of searing heat licked my abdomen and the space in between my legs, surprising the breath from my chest.
"C'mon angel, tell me everything," he growled, sending even more tingles over my body.
I didn't know what I was doing, or how to move my lips, but he guided me, and coaxed my mouth open, and dominated it with his soft tongue. I had never felt something so visceral building inside my body, and so hot. The essence of Steve was everywhere, and it felt like I was slowly being taken over by nothing but his smell, and hard body carrying me back towards the facility.
"(Y/n)?" He whispered, and pushed me up against the steel wall, and swallowed my low moans, but I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to experience what I was feeling, and let it roll over my body. My hips wouldn't stop pushing against him, and all I could do was hang onto him, but he leaned back, and focused on my face, "please..." He demanded, gasping for breath, and unrelenting in his grip around my bottom.
"I..I want you, I want to feel your body next to me when I lay down, I want to feel your skin on mine, oh, my brightest of lights, I want to experience every little piece of life you'll give me," I whined, and leaned forward, but he kept his head back, "I need you, and I.. I feel...everything's on fire, you're the only being in the cosmo's who has the power to do that, my dearest of loves...I want to be with you, for as long as you'll have me."
"That's all I needed to hear," he snickered, and slammed his lips back on mine.
The burn in between my legs was becoming uncomfortable, but also euphoric, and my breasts ached to be touched by his calloused hands.
"Something's...somethings happening.." I grunted, as my stomach heaved, and the junction in between my legs burst with a release of pressure. Fluid flushed down the crotch of my shorts, but I couldn't stop moving, nor moaning against his mouth, "oh, what...it hurts, but feels do good...."
"Uh, yah, we'll talk about those a little later, as soon as I learn every curve, every line, of my angel," he snickered, and shut the door behind us.
One year later
"Steve, is this really necessary?" I asked, and fidgeted in the tight black dress, draping my slender body. My colorful red hair was curled, and makeup marred my natural beauty, but Tasha was adamant we play dress up, "is it customary to celebrate a newly betrothed couple, is that not what the wedding is for, I still don't understand?"
It'd been a year since that fateful night out on the quad, and while we didn't make love, that night, like I wanted too, we worshipped each other's bodies, like any young couple very much in love.
I stayed in his room, as we slowly began to find a routine for he and I, and the intensity to which we needed each other. Even if we were busy with the daily chore of being protectors of humanity, I would make sure I touched him, or kissed his body, reassuring him and myself that he was mine and I was his.
He laughed more, and seemed so happy, as I was, but I was still learning how to be human, and it caused a few issues, especially when I came to sex, and my safety.
Steve was afraid he'd hurt me, and while Natasha explained the ins and outs of sex, quite a bit more than I needed, to be honest, he was afraid he would be too big for my smaller body, but I was adamant I wanted to know him the human way of making love, no matter the pain. We in fact discussed it quite a bit, but I also learned he was, what Bucky called old fashioned, and believed in courting, or dating, but Steve and I already knew we would live together and die together. I didn't understand the concept of waiting, or why we couldn't try, but after six months, after curling up in bed, after a bath together, I pleaded to experience him as a woman in love with her man.
He only relented because he couldn't hold out any longer, as I couldn't. It hurt, but I had experienced pain before, but it was still beautiful, and I felt an even deeper connection. Tears poured from my eyes, not in pain, but because I could feel him in ways I didn't know existed. Steve was so soft, hard, and touched me as if I would break, but I was a warrior, in love with my human, and I ached to know him this way.
My soul burned brighter as he slowly sank in between my legs, and glowed a dark purple to both our surprises. I didn't understand why, neither of us did, but oh I just loved him so much more, and enjoyed his body, and every single piece of his soul as much as I could.
"Uh, you're glowing again, like when we're in bed, and sweetheart, I love you, and this serum in my blood can pretty much allow me to do almost anything, but your sex drive's wearing me out," he snickered, and came up behind me, in a dark blue three piece suit. A red handkerchief was in his pocket, and the suit brought out the blue in his eyes.
I took a minute and looked at our reflection in the floor length mirror. Our features had changed, just a bit, but our eyes were brighter, and both our bodies were more relaxed, and calm. My own body had gone through some changes, and my weight seemed to fluctuate based on my moods and the food I ate, but it centered on my bottom, legs and hips. Steve actually didn't seem to mind, enjoyed really, but as our life with each other began to come together, I began working out with Tasha, and Bucky, making my power and gift available for use.
I looked more human, and my smile was genuine, as Steve met my eyes in the mirror.
"Am I really wearing you out?" I giggled, and brushed my lips over his cheek.
"No, but we can do that later, I have a surprise for you waiting at the tower," he mumured and reached for my hand.
I turned to follow him, seeing the scars on my back, raising the skin noticeably. I didn't shy from them, but caught myself looking at them, and thinking about my brethren, and my father.
"They're just scars angel," Steve reassured, and dragged me to his truck parked out front, "and I really hope I didn't commit some sin, by letting you manhandle me before I put a ring on your finger.."
I snorted, and laughed at the human noise I made, "my father doesn't bother himself with such things, as long as you love me, and I love you, we have only been given the gift of loving one another without impunity, now, what surprise, is the party not enough..?"
"You know how Tony is, and Pepper's happy for us doll," he replied, and ran his hands through his hair as he drove through traffic and headed towards the tower, "and you'll see when we get to the tower..."
"Steve...I..I love you, and I don't need all this, but thank you.." I declared, and squeezed his hand in mine, just wanting to spend the day with him, anywhere but surrounded by people.
It was still a little difficult for me to be around dozens of people for long periods of time without being overloaded by emotions.
My teammates did not cause such problems, but my power, and internal sense of souls made it hard to be around humans that were not honorable. When I first met General Ross, I almost gagged, with turmoil, as the same lunacy and lust for power seeped through his pores. I rose above him, once he demanded my allegiance, and blood, but I used to be a soldier of God, one of his oldest, and an archangel. I was unrelenting, and used my power to remove such a despicable human away from my charges. The leery man didn't seem to care for Steve, and that's where my patience stopped. I wasn't loyal to anyone, but Steve and his team, and I didn't bow, and had a hard time keeping myself from killing him.
"I love you too, and you look beautiful," Steve commented, and kissed my hand, "honey, I'm so, you make everything I've been through worth it..."
"I understand, my brightest of lights," I sighed happily, and watched him wave through the busy streets.
"You know, I love it when you call me that," he mentioned, as we pulled into the tower, feeling a familiar, yet unfamiliar light brush against my bare skin, "and before we go to the ballroom, there something waiting for you in one of the conference room..I..I know how much you miss..I just c'mon angel."
"I don't understand, what...Steve, we've had this discussion," I growled, and crossed my arms over my chest as we stepped into the elevator, and made our way to the tenth floor.
"Hey, look at me, I know you're with me, and I'm with you, but...I wanted to do something special for you, besides finding you the perfect ring, fit for my archangel," he embued, as the doors opened, and our friends were crowded around the room. I rolled my eyes, but looked at my engagement ring. The stone shined like a soul, and silver wings guarded the diamond, surrounded by white gold. It was beautiful, and I loved it, but he could of put an onion ring on my finger and I would of been happy, which he seemed to get a kick out of.
"I told you, all I needed was you," I mumbled, and finally gave him a smile, while another brush of light brushed against my cheek, "but I don't understand...."
"(Y/n)?" A gravely voice called out, as our friends parted the way. I recognized the voice, but I stepped back, refusing to give in to the hope now blossoming in my chest, "sister..?"
My eyes finally found dark blue eyes, his dark hair, and lean body, covered in a nice jeans, a black button up, and leather jacket.
"Cas...Castiel.." I gasped, and glanced up at Steve, "you found my brother..."
"Yes..I know how much you miss home, no matter what you say, and you've mentioned Castiel's name before, as well as the names of his charges, so I found him, and wanted him to be here to celebrate with us," Steve remedied, and kissed my lips.
"I love you, and I...thank you, my dearest love," I whispered, as tears poured over my cheeks, and I ran towards my brother crashing into his chest, and letting his smell soak into my clothes and nose, "you're here...I missed you so much..I was so scared I'd never see you again.."
"Uh, should we give you guys a minute Cas?" A deep voice called out from behind him, as beautiful green eyes peered over my brother's shoulder.
"No, Dean it's fine," Castiel murmured into my hair, and squeezed my smaller body, "I missed you too, and I'm so proud of you.."
"So you're an angel too? Or were?" His charge named Dean asked, as another unfamiliar tall human stood next to Dean, shaking his head of long hair.
I calmly let go of my brother, but kept his hand in mine, refusing to let go, "I was yes, but I'm something new now," I stated proudly, "I am a soldier for humanity, as much as a friend, and soon wife of my brightest of lights..."
"She's more than that," Steve asserted, and wrapped a protective arm around my waist, "but thank you for coming, and you're welcome to stay with us as long as you want, we have rooms set up at the facility for all of you."
"Thank you Captain Rogers, I'm sure Sam and Dean would get a kick out of that," Castiel smiled, and touched my face.
"You're damn right I would, we get to stay with the Avengers.." Dean mused excitedly.
"Dean..?" His brother Sam cautioned and rolled his eyes, "thank you, and we appreciate it, it's been awhile since we've had a break..."
"Then stay at long at you need," I embued, and wrapped my arms around Castiel again, sending out a prayer to my father in thanks, and gratitude, "you were right, my brother.."
"I usually am (y/n)," Castiel snickered, "and we're here, happy, among the men and women we love most, and that's all I could ever ask for.."
"The same goes for me," I whispered, and fell back against my human, "thank you Steve..."
"You're welcome angel," he murmured, and wrapped his arms around me, surrounding me in nothing but love, and hope.