9:13am Sunday, September 21
I had a dream I had really big boobs, but I was like five foot two. It was creepy. I just looked at myself outside of my body. Like I was a ghost. But that happens a lot in dreams. I look from a third perspective.
I had another dream I was a stripper and had sex with a lesbian stripper friend. I'm pretty sure she was Lana del Rey. I don't feel like getting into detail with that one, but I did rip my tights at the crotch and I was sad about it after. Because my tights had runs all the way down my legs, and I had no money to buy new tights, because I had just become a stripper so I had no money yet. What a vivid dream. Weird dreams last night. Sometimes music plays in the background of my dreams. That's always cool.
4:05pm
Jake made me so mad, because he said either I go to homecoming with him or he will go with Emma. So that made me angry. I decided to write a red letter to him then delete it. Here's what I wrote for him (never to be sent):
You're a disgusting, misogynistic pig. I don't care what you choose, because I have no feelings for you at all except dislike. I've never had even the slightest inclination to have anything more than a friendship with you, because you're boring. You're annoying, you have no spine, plus you hate yourself more than anyone else ever could.
I just cannot deal with him right now. He tries to be tough, but he's a whiny little girl who has a fit when she doesn't get her way. Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with him. He's such a bitch!! I'm just mad right now, but I don't care. He deserves it.
10:24pm
I'm making it clear - I never sent it. I'm a chicken. I'm over it, but I have not said a thing to him. I'm ignoring him. So I guess I'm not actually over it...
You know, I'm actually looking pretty hot. My bod is not too bad, boobs are perky, I'm tall. Fuck insecurities. I feel really sexy! I'm a freaking sexible sex kitten freak. I'm tired of negative bull. I'm turning over a new leaf. Sophomore year is gonna be a year to remember. I'm going to rule my life, my way.