Leo sat in the darkness, arms wrapped tightly around his knees. He rocked back and forth trying to calm himself down. His breathing was shallow, but then would suddenly come in ragged gasps and he would stop rocking and dig his nails into his arms trying to get his breath back.
'Why are you still alive?'
'Nobody wants you here'
'Nobody cares about you'
'You should just cut again'
'You should just kill yourself'
These thoughts were racing through the young Latino's mind. Each one worse than before. Each one feeling like a punch to his gut. Like all the broken pieces of his heart were pieces together just to be shattered into tinier, sharper pieces.
"I'm not meant to be happy" as Leo said it, he knew. Everything made sense now. He wasn't meant to be happy in the first place.
With newfound strength he stood up and began looking for the sharpest object he could find
'I'm not meant to be happy, but I can feel okay and cutting makes me feel okay'
Grabbing the sharpest shard of metal from the chandelier he had broken, Leo looked down at his arm, at the scabs that were almost gone from his previous cuts. He decided on a less obvious place and instead pulled down his pants til his thighs were exposed.
'Here' and he began.
First he pressed the chandelier to his skin. In one place and then another, always checking to see if a level of skin had been cut. When no blood was spilled he started dragging the shard across his skin. With little pressure he slid it across and felt his skin stinging.
'It needs to be deeper'
The small hero pressed the broken piece of chandelier against himself and slid it across his skin harshly. It tore up his skin and blood came forth. Lots of blood. But not enough. Not enough to satisfy Leo and his intense desire to hurt himself.
He kept going.
Cut after cut.
Going deeper and deeper.
When there was no more space on his thigh to keep cutting, he moved to his other thigh and started over.
His blood had successfully soaked his pants completely by the time that Leo decided to cease.
When he saw his ragged broken skin and his blood all around him, he felt lightheaded and nauseous. Pulling up his pants he scarcely had time to make it to the toilet where he puked and passed out.
A/N:
lol this is fantastic. I was gonna cut myself, but i made Leo do it instead. What the fuck is wrong with me? maybe im the one who should kill themself
who am i kidding. of course i am the one who should. Leo deserves the world.
Wolf out