jaemin
the sky had darkened, the day's vibrancy draining away almost imperceptibly, until suddenly a distant memory.
at least, that's how it seemed to jaemin.
once again, he stood on the beach, head tilted back, trying to recall the particular hue of the sky or the joy in his heart, both of which felt unattainable, slipping easily away from his mind's eye and serenely gliding out of reach.
the ride back to the beach had been almost unbearable. renjun and jeno had tried several times to start a conversation, but jaemin simply ignored them. he didn't trust himself to speak. he knew he was being irrational, that he was only hurting himself by pushing them away, but jaemin was someone who couldn't control his emotions and who overthought everything, working himself up until beyond the point of consolation.
jaemin glanced behind him, and saw renjun standing on tiptoe to whisper something into jeno's ear. his brain tried to reassure him, telling him that they were probably just concerned about him, but his heart twisted everything until all jaemin could see was renjun and jeno, together, keeping secrets from him, and himself, excluded and alone.
lower lip beginning to quiver and eyes becoming glassy with tears,
he willed himself to maintain an unfeeling exterior, to not let them know how raw he was on the inside.
he rubbed his eyes harshly and straightened his shoulders,
fists clenched as the other two boys approached.
jaemin had been concealing his true emotions for the best part of ten years, first from bullies and then from jeno, and the mask of indifference he was desperate to portray was undermined only by the blotchy skin around his eyes and the red crescents on his palms.
i'm fine.
i don't care.
i can't let them in, that would ruin everything.
i have to push them away, even if that means pushing them closer together.
it's for the best.
renjun smiled tentatively at him, small hand reaching cautiously for jaemin's, before he thought the better of it and instead used it to push his glasses further up his nose.
unlike jaemin, renjun's feelings were plain to anyone who read his face.
concern and worry were written there, especially since renjun had no idea what had truly upset the younger boy or how to console him.
if jaemin had even glanced into his eyes, it might have proved to him that renjun did indeed care,
but jaemin kept his gaze resolutely fixed on the sand, and the unspoken message went by unbeknownst.
jeno made eye contact with renjun, and shook his head.
they had decided to give jaemin some space, and not to pressure him into telling them what was wrong,
since jeno knew from experience with the younger boy that this would only serve to worsen the situation.
they would act like everything was okay, until it was, or until jaemin decided to divulge the cause of his anger.
the three boys made their way over to the area of the beach where a large screen had been set up, and people sat on picnic blankets, both families and couples, all with upturned faces, eager and expectant.
jeno laid out the blanket they had brought and stretched out on it, gesturing for the other two boys to join him. renjun did so, and looked up at jaemin, who merely rolled his eyes and backed away, gesturing towards the small snack stall.
"i'm going to get some popcorn or some shit"
with that he turned on his heel and walked off without waiting for a reply.
jeno sighed and ran a hand through his hair wearily.
"i honestly don't know what to make of this. like, is he upset about the fab,
or even still about you coming in the first place? he can't still hate you,
if anything, i thought the opposite..."
jeno quickly closed his mouth, but renjun knew what he had left unsaid.
unsure of how to respond, he decided to act as if he hadn't quite understood.
"yeah, i mean, i thought we were becoming friends.
that's all i want, to be friends with you guys, hahaha..."
he laughed awkwardly, his cheeks turning rosy as he scratched the back of his neck.
jeno, blushed too, not because he got the ulterior message behind renjun's words (jeno wasn't the smartest cookie in the jar), but because he was imagining being more than friends with renjun.
he looked at the boy beside him, in whose large dark eyes he could see reflections of the constellations above them, whose smile was as wondrous and alluring as the call of the ocean beside them, and whose skin, he knew, was softer than the blanket beneath them.
renjun tilted his head, looking at jeno questioningly as the other boy leaned closer. the older boy's starry eyes widened and his heartbeat accelerated, until the sound was almost palpable.
all jeno could see was renjun.
all he could feel was renjun.
all he wanted was renjun.
that is until, jaemin plonked himself down on the blanket beside them, accompanied by a stranger with their arm around his shoulder.
---
(flashback woooo)
jaemin marched up to the snack stall,
glaring now that the others couldn't see his expression.
to put it politely, he was pissed.
he would be lying if he said that he hadn't expected jeno and renjun to ask him what was wrong, to try to make him feel better. he knew that he had brought this on himself, that sulking only ends up hurting the perpetrator, but he couldn't help feeling that he had a right to be affronted.
they obviously don't care about me at all.
i bet they wish i wasn't here, ruining their stupid date night.
reaching the counter he ordered without looking up.
"give me some stupid popcorn or something before my heart fully breaks, food is my only friend"
he heard a low chuckle and then a drawling voice spoke.
"i'm sorry, but i can't serve snacks to a snack, that would be condoning cannabalism."
jaemin looked up at that.
standing before him, arms folded and smirking, was the hottest boy he had ever seen.
now, jaemin considered both jeno and renjun to be hot, super hot even, but this guy was in another league.
he was über hot.
his long, dark curtains of wavy hair framed eloquent eyes, accentuated by a mole on his lower left lash-line.
his lips were full and inviting, his broad shoulders filled out his tight black t-shirt, hell, even his hands were attractive (we won't go into details).
one of those same hands reached across the counter for jaemin to shake, which he did instinctively.
the boy smiled.
"i'm hyunjin."
"jaemin."
hyunjin's smile widened as he leant forward, propping his chin on his hand.
"you look familiar...where might i have seen you before?"
"i dunno, i'm here every summer so probably you've seen me around"
"i remember now! my uncle owns the ice-cream parlour and i help out there a lot. i remember seeing you there last summer, you came a lot with this one guy."
jaemin wondered mentally how he had never noticed someone this gorgeous at a place he went to frequently, but he was all too aware that when he was with jeno, he never paid the slightest attention to his surroundings.
"well, i'm flattered that you found me memorable, even though i have no idea why"
hyunjin frowned, searching jaemin's face for sarcasm and instead finding only sincerity.
"you can't mean that. do you seriously not know how attractive you are?"
jaemin blinked in surprise, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. he was tempted to fan himself with his hand, but reminded himself to play it cool. apart from a few comments from jeno and renjun, no one had ever expressed an interest in him before, and he wasn't entirely sure how to respond to such a blunt statement.
on one hand, he could brush it off, buy his popcorn, and go - this was his usual behaviour when faced with social interaction. on the other hand, his mind was still filled with the image of renjun and jeno, inciting a shot of jealousy to poison his bloodstream.
ok so this guy's fit.
and he thinks i'm fit.
since jeno doesn't want me,
and renjun doesn't want me,
maybe he will.
feeling emboldened, jaemin made direct eye-contact with the older boy, making it obvious as he raked his gaze up and down the taller boy.
"you're not too bad yourself."
hyunjin raised an eyebrow, clearly prepared for the rebuttal.
"i know. they don't call me prince hyunjin for nothing."
jaemin scoffed, and retorted.
"isn't that a little narcissistic?"
hyunjin spread his arms in mock apology, giving jaemin a good look at his muscled physique.
"someone very wise once said, 'love yourself, love myself, peace'.
who am i to disagree?"
as he spoke he seemed to notice the younger boy's reddened eyes and slumped shoulders.
"so princess, wanna tell me who's almost fully broken your heart?"
jaemin rubbed at his face self-consciously, aware of the obvious marks of sadness he couldn't hide - yet which neither jeno nor renjun had seemed to care enough to comment on. he made a spur of the moment decision, and grabbed hyunjin's hand, pulling him out from behind the counter.
"come watch the film with me?"
hyunjin opened his mouth to reply, but before he could speak there came an indignant cough from behind jaemin.
without either boy realising, a queue had formed behind the younger boy during their conversation,
and this particular old lady clearly was unimpressed with waiting, only for the server to run off.
the black-haired boy made an exagerrated bow, apologising profusely and kissed the elderly woman's hand, leaving her a blushing, stuttering mess.
he grinned at jaemin.
"as luck would have it, my shift just ended. my mate chan's taking over from here"
he gestured at the boy who had just arrived, who immediately gave off a surfer vibe, with tousled blonde beach-waves and a golden tan. chan looked at the two boys with raised eyebrows, before giving hyunjin a mocking salute and sending a wink in jaemin's direction.
seriously, where are all these handsome guys coming from?
jaemin turned his attention back to hyunjin, and realised that he still hadn't let go of his hand. he dropped it at once, looking down shyly. he didn't notice the hurt that briefly flashed across the older boy's face, which was soon replaced with cheerful flirtation.
"so are we going to watch this film or not?"
the other boy looked back at their picnic blanket, where renjun and jeno were still sitting - very close together. hyunjin followed his gaze, and quickly realised that jaemin was trying to make someone jealous. he didn't know which boy, and he didn't like the feeling of being a pawn, but he hoped that jaemin felt the same connection as he did, and that their flirting was more than just a stratagem.
he slung an arm around jaemin's shoulders, and noticed the slight shudder that went through the younger boy at the contact. taking that as a good sign, he allowed jaemin to lead him back to the little camp.
neither boy knew exactly how they had ended up in this situation.
but they would be lying if they said there wasn't serious attraction between them.
jaemin thought hyunjin was hot.
hyunjin thought jaemin was hot.
what could be the harm in a little summer fun?
author's note
GUESS WHO'S BACK (BACK AGAIN)
idk whether you guys want this or not but i've decided to introduce some new characters and dramaaaa,
plus i love stray kids - stream side effects - and if this interaction will never happen irl then i'll just have to write it lmao
lyl xxxx