JENNIE KIM
I started bouncing up and down in my seat as the car that were to deliver us to the border neared Yoongi's car in the distance.
It was a burning sensation almost, something my body was definitely getting a kick out of and the way his eyes lit up when he saw me made it all worth while. I expressed my excitement by throwing my arms around his neck, his face burrowing in my neck.
"Mine." His hands tightened around my waist. "All mine."
I chuckled taking his pale face in the palm of my hands, thumbing over his nose to his lips. "Feels nice."
"That it does."
There was a sudden peak of heat in the pit of my stomach and I nearly flinched. I blinked the sensation away too deep in blurred satisfaction of holding him in my arms.
Things like this made me believe somewhere deep inside that cursed soul of his, he genuinely loved me. But for reality's sake, I decided not to think about that.
I had my hand interlocked with him as he drove towards Jimin's Manor, only hearing the sultry voices filling his dark head. I whipped my head around to look at Chaeyoung who was blankly staring out the window.
"You excited?"
She glanced at me and softly smiled. "I guess. I'm a little nervous."
"Don't be." I assured from up front. "If seeing Jimin again is what you truly want, then it shouldn't be a problem."
I exhaled, a little too coarsely when a strong squeezing corrupted in my stomach. My fingers that were interlaced with Yoongi's tightened and my head rolled dizzily. Yoongi took two looks at my before facing the road again.
I peered through my peripheral, dark hair blocking the contortion of my face. "Honey, what was that?"
"Nothing." I immediately defended realizing he picked up on the painful impression on contact. "It was.. probably just alcohol from last night."
He didn't question any further. I looked over at the side mirror to see Chaeyoung glaring at me in suspicion knowing well that I didn't have any alcohol at all. She may have forgotten me but it sure as hell looked like she didn't forget my alcohol incompetence. I swallowed my lie down my throat and looked to my interfacing stomach that oddly had a sudden mind of its own.
Chaeyoung had met with Jin in the front of the manor now and we let them be.
Amongst climbing out of the car, my eyes washed over with white, specks of darkness engulfing my reality. I had to overstep to regain consciousness almost looking to Yoongi.
It was no doubt he felt that.
"Jennie?"
I smiled it off. "Probably just a stomach cramp. Don't worry about it, honey."
Again the topic was pushed to the side and Yoongi didn't ask. I knew he didn't believe me because I saw on his face he didn't.
Forgive me, for the moment we arrived at home, celebrated my homecoming, I cut the little imaginary thread that kept his mind intact with my own.
As painful as it was, the more Yoongi stayed in my thoughts, the more vulnerable my pregnancy was to be known.
Yoongi was a simple man. He wouldn't dare ask me why I did it rather bring up that I even did. He knows and I know he knows I cut my pains and his separate but he didn't mention it. He let me have my space which irked me.
He got what he wants. The sex and the label, the life he gained from me. But what more for me? When all I want is his undivided attention and love.
Now I'm fucking pregnant for fucksake and my husband doesn't even have the decency of coming home.
The pains got worse. At least, the stomach pains that is. I read a lot of instances in Yoongi's book about shadow demon pregnancies and they're nothing but easy however maybe it's only fair that I suffer alone.
I spent the mornings covered up in the sheets, hot sweat beading down my neck and nights in the bathroom trying to drown in water from cold seizures. I missed Yoongi. Dearly— I just wanted him to hold me and tell me it was gonna be alright but maybe that was my human side talking.
All I knew was I could never tell my husband. Even if my life and my child's life depended on it.
"How was work, honey?" I asked in a hoarse voice, his dark eyes racking my body up and down.
"Fine." He answered. "Have you picked up the herbs?"
"N-no. I must've forgotten." I was busy drowning in the bathtub for x amount of hours. "I'll go pick it up. Chaeyoung is still with Jimin so—"
"Jennie, what's that on your face?"
I glanced up, noticing the white that started to spread in his sockets. His skin looked hot and the pale color was starting to darken. He was keeping in pent up anger and frustration with me that it was obvious me cutting the ties was taking a toll on him.
"Nothing." I defended quickly. "I scratched myself in the bathtub this morning."
"That's self inflicted."
"It's nothing." My teeth gritted turning away from him with a strike in my stomach.
I shuddered at the cold stinging sensation before shakily walking over to the counter. I was met with a shocking set of arms to wrap around my waist before I could collapse.
And I was breaking out in sweat.
Breath haggard, Yoongi's eyes started to warp white. "Jennie, what's happening to you?"
You've read about it before you asshole, I wanted to say.
You know. You're just in denial.
"Just miss you.."
Just once. I want him to hold me. I may or may not deserve it but I needed him. Or I could fuck everything up for the both of us.
"Bedroom."
He lifted me in his calm grasp and carefully engulfed me in his arms. Everything was fuzzy. A good fuzzy, that small energy in my stomach started to churn in a drug high fashion and I was content in my husband's. I purred against his chest and let my heavy eyelids down. But not before hearing this:
"I love you.."
"I'm happy for you guys." I grumbled out a short smile, the weight and color on my face looking a bit different. "Jimin seems like a changed man."
"I'm happy too." Chaeyoung was nearly shooting up in her seat when her fiancé's name was brought up. "I'm a little surprised how easy it is for him to give up everything for me. That isn't in his definition."
"As your man or a demon?"
"A little bit of both."
We both chuckled at that and I laid my frail hand on her lap. "I'm genuinely happy for you. I'm sorry for everything that had happened. I wish I could be that best friend you used to know and—"
"Jennie, what's wrong?" She cut me off a lot like Yoongi did when he saw the fatigue written in my eyes.
She can tell.
I swallowed down my fears and chose to reply subtly. "Just not feeling well."
"What is it about your color and face is throwing me off?" She mumbled staring me down carefully.
I looked like a wreck.
Anybody could see that. And Yoongi and I's falling relationship as of late.
The meeting had been adjourned, the blood contract signed and Jimin will no longer be someone we call our lord. The moment I saw my husband walk through those doors though, I was already gone away from congratulating Jin on his new position.
I just need to leave altogether.
I accidentally encountered the blood sucker in the halls, his eyes wavering when they met mine.
"Jennie?"
I turned around and faced whoever called me with a feigned smile. "Yeah?"
Namjoon raised an eyebrow at me. "Is there something bothering you, love?"
My breath choked up in my throat and I shook my head violently. "No. I-I'm good. I just need to go pick up some stuff."
"Let me come with you."
"No!"
His head cocked to the side at my sudden defense. I cleared my throat and sighed before just turning around and full on ignoring him.
When I got to the end of the corridor, I was suddenly pulled around from the corner and pinned to the wall. The heavy breaths ad the low growls, I knew immediately it was Yoongi.
"You know I'm fucking struggling when you shut me out, Jennie, and frankly I've had enough." He hissed at me with dark black eyes, his shadow arms curling around my ankles and wrists as he held me firmly against the wall. I stared down at him expressionless, my lips not moving. "Say something!"
I sniffled and shook my head once.
His eyes warped a translucent white, his face shaping darkly when his flesh singed away.
This was it. When Yoongi was angry, when he had nothing more than hatred in his head and blood, his truer form appeared. I've only seen it many times but this one was different. For once, I was scared. But I knew this was what I was asking for. Two days of me shaking him off? Yeah, he's not used to that.
"Jennie." His demonic voice was unrecognizable and I just blinked at him. "Don't piss me off."
"Yoongi, I'm leaving you."
And like, he blanked. With a glimpse I can see that my world had fallen apart— him.
He dropped me from his grasps, his flesh returning and his shadows hiding back into his masked figure. His eyebrows tied and his dark eyes were in confusion and fear. Fear that I've never once seen on him before. My chest tightened and I could feel the last of my human blood rushing to my neck again. In distress with my husband, I don't lack this on the usual.
He searched my firm eyes.
"Okay, where will you go and when will you be back?"
It's always that easy for him. Saying yes because he knows I'll always be crawling back and he's right. But I'm not as selfish as him— as any demon. I'm not going to give him a child that he doesn't want.
I sniffled again and curled my lip inwards before raising my hands to cup his pale face. The feeling of his vibrating form underneath made me ease. I was always proud to know my husbands comfort in his true form. If he was so aesthetically pleasing to the eye, I'm sure he'd walk around freely. Things he can never control will be his downfall. And things like this, will be mine.
I love him so much. So fucking much. Leaving him shouldn't be an option.
...
But it is.
"Honey, I love you." I mumbled while cradling his pale and veiny cheeks. My lips curled into a pouting frown, the extent to my emotions now. "I'm sorry."
"What the fuck are you on about, Jennie?" He slapped my hands away angrily and I sighed.
"Yoongi, I need to leave. Maybe for a little, a long while, enough time, okay?"
"Shut the fuck up." He snapped at me shaking his head and tightly grabbing on my wrist. "You're coming home. Now. And we're going to have a little—"
When I removed my wrist from his hold, he whipped around so fast, it was the most intimidating thing I've ever experienced. I choked on my breath and shut my eyes.
"You don't understand, Yoongi. I have to go alone."
"Jennie." He warned darkly.
That's all I needed. He's still the selfish asshole I remember the day we met. He'd never want a child. Let alone it being now.
"I'm going to Tongyeong with Namjoon."
"The fuck you are!"
I watched as his figure grew. I let the darkness that radiated off him consume me, the only thing visible being his foggy white eyes and red iris. Again, I felt his prickly arms wrap around my limbs and knowing not to fuck with his temper, I stayed compliant.
"Yoongi, let me go."
All I could hear is his low and hoarse breaths and I sighed letting my fingers graze against his shadow.
"Honey, please."
I stared directly into his eyes now and I knew he was more angrier now than ever. The red in his eyes shook and his grasp on me tightened so much I'm sure that I'll be left numb once he lets go. The pain right now was bearable and it only was because I knew it was coming from him.
"MIN YOONGI, PUT HER DOWN!"
I snapped my head towards the feared voice beside us to see Seokjin and Jisoo staring at us in horror.
"For fucksake, Yoongi. I'm pregnant."
I was dropped to the ground and I fell looking up at where my husband was last. His flesh covered up his souled shadow and his orbs for eyes were still the same. He looked to me with complete and utter consternation and I could only blink away. My fingers curled itself into the palms of my hands and the now current lord walked quickly to me.
"With a shadow demon?" Seokjin asked. "You're pregnant with a shadow demon?"
"Well who else has been fucking me, Seokjin?" I hissed at him despite his new found high authority.
"That's great. We can have two baby showers."
"Seokjin.." I whined shutting my eyes in frustration.
"I don't get what's wrong with this! Chaeyoung's child will be alone in this world and we now have another guardian who can watch over it." Seokjin nodded enthusiastically. "If anything, this is extremely beneficial. We're low on guardians and having one of a shadow descent is instrumental— that's just the obvious."
I glanced to Yoongi who blinked forward at my stomach in wide eyes. They were brown now, his eyelashes batting in disbelief. I bit down on my lip not expecting him to react in anyway good anyway.
"Namjoon's going back to Tongyeong tonight and I'm going with him." I muttered softly turning my entire body towards Seokjin. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I felt a stinging pain in my chest. Where my heart's supposed to be. And right now, I really wish I was human. "I'm going to tell Jimin and Chaeyoung over the phone. I'm really sorry I won't be here to help."
"Wait, Yoongi you're okay with this?" Seokjin glared at his new posed guardian who still looked at me torn between any feelings. "You can't be fucking serious. You're seriously letting her leave?"
"Let her do what she wants." He flinched his eyes away before walking down the hall, the stinging pain becoming a stab. A vicious tear in my self relief.
"Min Yoongi, you get back here!" Jin called for him.
But for the first time.
I hopelessly watched him leave. Because I remember I did the same only years ago and unlike him, I can't just burn a whole town down this time around.