when i see the way you act
wondering when i'm coming back
i could do about anything
i could even learn how to love like you
monday after school, seungmin made his way to leave the school grounds. he saw hyunjin waiting in his usual place, scanning the crowd of students exiting the building. seungmin averted his eyes and tried his best to disappear among all of the people, but it was too late. "seungmin!" he heard. "do you want to go to the coffee shop today?"
"no," seungmin replied, walking forward without even a glance at hyunjin. seungmin knew hyunjin wouldn't take the hint, despite his curt answer.
"no? we can do something else if you'd rather," hyunjin tried , following him. seungmin noticed that hyunjin was playing with the hem of his shirt, seemingly more nervous than he was before. seungmin didn't want to be rude, but hyunjin wasn't giving him a choice. if this was what it would take for hyunjin to stop, he had to do it.
"no, hyunjin, i don't want to do anything with you. i don't want to do anything with anyone." seungmin stopped and took a breath . "just give up. i'm not worth it." seungmin walked away, leaving hyunjin staring wistfully after him.
each day after that , hyunjin waited at the gates after school. he never said a word, but seungmin knew he was waiting for him to agree to spend time together. he was starting to feel bad for the boy. he knew hyunjin was choosing to wait for him over being with his actual friends and other more important things. he hated the thought of hyunjin wasting his time and decided to confront him.
seungmin walked up to hyunjin. hyunjin, who had been staring at the sky, looked at seungmin in shock when he cleared his throat. the shock on his face was quickly replaced with joy. "you came!" he practically shouted, hugging the younger.
now it was seungmin that was shocked . his mind failing him , seungmin awkwardly kept his arms stiff at his sides. "hyunjin, let me go," he muttered, his words getting lost in hyunjin's shoulder.
"ah, sorry, seungmin," hyunjin said sheepishly. "i didn't think you would come. i missed you! are you ready to go on another date?"
"hyunjin, i came to ask you to stop this. like i said, i'm not worth it. i don't know why you think so fondly of me, but please just stop," seungmin begged.
hyunjin looked as though seungmin had punched him . unable to stand the sight, seungmin started to turn away. before he could move too far, hyunjin wrapped seungmin in a hug from behind.
"seungmin, quit saying things like that," hyunjin said, any hint of happiness gone from his voice. seungmin shrugged his was out of hyunjin's embrace and faced him. hyunjin's gaze was like ice, and seungmin suddenly realized how much he liked the smile that usually played on hyunjin's face.
"i'm just telling the truth," seungmin said softy, more to himself than to the other boy. hyunjin glared at him and left without a word. seungmin was stunned as hyunjin stormed away, finally understanding how it felt to be left in the dust. without realizing what he was doing, seungmin followed after him, his feet moving with a mind of their own. " hyunjin, wait !" seungmin called. he caught up to the older boy, and this time it was hyunjin's arm being grabbed. hyunjin stopped without looking at seungmin, staring coldly at the ground.
seungmin quickly realized he had no idea what to do or say, and that it was unlike him to act this way. he let go of hyunjin's arm and put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. seungmin paused a moment, trying to find the right words to express himself. he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking, calming himself down so he wouldn't rush his words. "i'm sorry, hyunjin. i'm sorry that i can't be what you want me to be. i'm sorry that i am the way i am, that i'm just... me."
hyunjin looked up, his gaze softening. "seungmin," he said, stepping closer. he rested his hand on seungmin's cheek, wiping away a tear in the process. seungmin wasn't sure when he had started crying, but he leaned into the touch in relief. "it may be hard for you to believe this, but i like the way you are. i have no plans to leave you anytime soon, so you may as well just accept it," hyunjin continued, pulling seungjin into a tight hug. seungmin slowly wrapped his arms around hyunjins torso and let the tears come, allowing himself to be held for the first time in his life.