LISA'S P.O.V.
"Yah! Lisa, I'm coming in!" I heard my best friend, trying to wake me up for about an hour now. I groaned in annoyance as I rolled on to my stomach and buried my face deep on the pillow.
"I want to sleep, Chaeng-ah! Let me be." I yelled back, shutting my eyes close as I try to get back to my sleep.
I released a relief sigh when the banging sound stopped and Chaeng's voice is nowhere to be heard.
Thank God she finally left my ass alone. I closed my eyes peacefully when I heard a loud sound from the door that made me startled, I screamed as I sat up on my bed and looked at the door, seeing my best friend glaring at me. I held my chest, trying to compose myself back.
"Yah! Why the fuck did you do that?! Didn't I tell you I was sleeping?" I pointed at her while yelling. She just rolled her eyes at me and went straight to my bed, crossing her arms as she was giving me her bitch face.
"Get your ass up." She demanded and I just shook my head, slumping back on my bed but she pulled me back up again making me groan in annoyance.
"Aiiiishhhh! Chaeyoung-ah! What do you want?" I exclaimed as I rub my face with annoyance and snatched my wrist away from her.
"Go take a bath now. We have school, Lisa." She simply stated and crossed her arms back again while tapping her fingers impatiently.
"I don't want to go to school today." I rolled my eyes and lied back to my bed but knowing my best friend, she quickly pulled me up again.
"Don't give me that attitude, Lisayah! You have to go to school, it's your general practice today and the event is tomorrow." She muttered, trying to pull me up but I put such heavy force to my weight, wanting to just lie down.
"Lisa, I know you are hurt right now but you don't need to mope around. I told you to give her time but you didn't listen. I understand, yeah, but you still have other priorities to spend your time with instead of being emo." She sighed as I sat down and slump my back on the head board.
Scenes from last night started playing in my mind. I sighed, tears slowly escaping my eyes. Chaeyoung quickly engulfed me in to a tight hug, comforting me as she caressed my back.
Damn, Jennie Kim is my heart breaker.
"Aishhh! Broken hearted Lisa is a lot to handle compare to the usual one." She shook her head, running her fingers through my hair. I chuckled a bit at her, playfully slapping her shoulders.
"Okay, Lalisa. Let's stop right here, yeah? You still need to take a bath. We are running late." She reminded me as she pulled away from the hug, patting my head. I groaned and pouted at her but she just shook her head.
"No uh. That ain't going to work, Manoban." She looked at me, raising her brow up.
"But I don't want to go to school today, Chaeng. I just want to stay here." I whined, crossing my arms like a five year old kid and slumping my body back on the head board.
"Are you nuts? I thought you wanted to focus on this event? Lisa, there's a lot of entertainment agency watching you all tomorrow. Mr. Yang will be very mad if you mess it up." She sighed, sitting beside me on my bed.
No matter how much I don't want to go right now but thinking about it, I know she is right. I'll have another punishment if I mess it up, knowing Mr. Yang doesn't want himself to get embarrassed in front of his 'friends' from the entertainment industry. It's our school's 23rd anniversary tomorrow and he invited his friends, of course I can't mess up or I will be doomed.
To be honest, dancing is the only thing that keeps me distracted from everything but seeing Jennie everywhere is hard. I can't seem to focus, my mind is all fuzzy whenever she's around and the fact that she is always with Kai makes it worse for me.
This is my dumb self's fault.
Groaning, I quickly stood up from my bed and faced my best friend, "Fine!" I exclaimed, putting my hair up in a messy bun.
"Remember you are still going to talk to Yoda." She reminded me, looking at me with a bland look.
Crap! I even forgot about that. Aish! Jennie Kim's effect on me.
"Oh shoot! Thank you for reminding, Chaeng. I literally forgot about that." I heaved a deep sigh as I turned around from her.
"I know. That's why I reminded you. Now, go. Take a bath. I will wait for you here." She kicked me away lightly as she lied on her back, unlocking her phone.
"Yah! You don't have to kick me!" I snickered at her while wiping the stained tears under my eyes.
"Yeah, sure. Freaking take a shower now, asshole." She bluntly spoke to me, still scrolling through her phone. I rolled my eyes and quickly went straight to my bathroom.
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My best friend dragged me along with her, groaning, I quickly snatched my hand away from her.
"Chipmunk, I can walk." I whined while crossing my arms, she rolled her eyes and mirrored me.
"Of course you can but it will take us hours to arrive in class." She mocked at me, pulling me back again with her. I sighed in defeat, not wanting to argue anymore.
A few minutes later of walking, Chaeyoung stopped and waved her hands at the other side. I looked at her in confusion and followed her gaze, only to see our friends gathered together on a bench. My best friend continued dragging me but I froze on my stance when my eyes landed on a certain brunette, sitting silently beside our friends, her eyes burning deep in me, she has bags under her eyes. She looks tired. My Nini looks tired.
My heart started beating hysterically, making a breaking sound. I snatched it back from her. Chaeyoung looked back at me, a perplexed look plastered on her face.
"You didn't tell me Jennie would be here." I whispered yelled, Jennie's eyes still on me.
"Are you dumb? We are in the same circle of friends. Of course, she would be here." She replied, snatching my wrist for the nth time now.
"Obviously. Don't mind me. Let's go." I said and started walking, dragging her along with me.
"Hey, Lisa. Hey Chipmunk. You guys are kind of late today, huh?" Jisoo Unnie greeted as she waved at us, making the girls turn their gaze on our direction.
"Well, Lisa here... was being a drama queen. I had to wake her up for almost an hour just to take a bath and attend school today." Chaeng shook her head, sitting beside Jisoo. I scratched the back of my neck, seeing Jennie still looking at me using my peripheral vision.
"That was... very unusual. Something happened, Liz?" Joy suddenly asked, a concerned look plastered on her face. I tensed on my spot, trying to find an excuse. I took a glance of Jennie and saw her looking away, obviously trying to avoid the topic.
No one knows what happened last night except for Chaeng or I don't know. I never dared to say anything to the others, I was actually glad my best friend looked out for me but knowing Jennie she probably told Jisoo Unnie about it too.
My heart is breaking yet happy just looking at this beautiful lady from the other side. Will she ever give me a chance to vocal out these feelings of mine? I can't take it anymore. I need her right in my arms.
Tears started forming in my eyes as we met our gaze, there's no negating that we still have this connection. I feel it though.
She frowned, looking down as she tried to avoid my gaze. My face expression fell, wanting her to look at me again so she could read me.
"You okay?" I heard Irene, snapping me out of my thoughts. I quickly composed myself back.
"She felt sick earlier." Chaeyoung answered for me, I sighed in relief. This is the reason why I love my best friend.
"Jennie, can we talk?" My mouth pleaded desperately before I could even stop it. Chaeyoung looked at me, an incredulous look plastered on her face. She just saved me from the situation few seconds ago... way to go, Lisa. You ain't really got no plans letting Jennie breathe for once.
Everyone went silent as the awkward air engulfed us. Jennie slowly looked up to me. I felt a hot water running down my cheeks. I quickly brought my fingers up realizing that I was crying unconsciously.
"Please?" I pleaded again, my voice croaked. Jennie just looked at me. Her tears started streaming down too. Shaking her head, she stood up and ran away from us. Run away from me.
Well, that hurts as fuck. It's like someone just took my heart out of my chest and left me bleeding, drowning on my own blood.
JENNIE'S P.O.V.
I ran away, not wanting to engage with her heart breaking pleads again. I've had enough of what happened last night and I didn't even get enough sleep, I was crying the whole night, peeking through the window from time to time only to see her still on the same spot where I left her. My heart couldn't handle the sight last night, I want to run up to her and be happy again but my mind is telling me not to do so because she will hurt me again. I don't know how can I be in love with someone this much in just a short period of time, it's unreal but Lisa made me feel what we had was real. She was a coward. I thought she was where in fact I was the coward one. I was afraid of the possible outcomes if I took a risk, I thought I was willing to dive deep but I got scared. You can't blame me. I had no assurance about everything, I didn't know where to start and when to end. I was holding into something I'm not sure if will work out or not. I just don't want to lose myself being in love like what happened to my brother.
I don't know whether to believe her anymore or not, Lisa was confusing when we were together. I don't even know if she was genuine, I don't really know if she meant everything she had told me, I don't even know if her actions were true or she is just really like that with everyone. You can't blame me not to believe her right now because she made me feel that way for almost five months but last night... last night she proved something and I don't know what to do whether to give it another try or not? But what about Tzuyu? I don't want someone getting hurt because of me, I ain't that selfish.
"And if one day she finally decided to be honest with her feelings, I'll let her go because obviously her happiness isn't found in me. It is in someone else and we all know who is that someone."
I cried at the voice of Tzuyu inside my head, could it be true?
I felt someone suddenly hugged me. I buried my face on the crook of their neck and cried. Everything is heart breaking at the moment.
Have you ever been in a situation where your heart wants to take a risk but your mind is telling you not to do so? I think that's the hardest fight ever. You are torn between not wanting to get hurt and wanting to be happy.
"Aish. Jendeuk, stop crying. Stop being stubborn." Jisoo Unnie told me, patting my back as I cry on her chest. I told her what happened last night. She was sad about what happened and told me she feels like me and Lisa are in some kind of novel.
"But it's hard, Unnie. I can't just follow my heart and get hurt again." I sobbed as I slump my body on hers.
"What's the difference? If you follow your heart, you'll get hurt. If you listen to your stupid brain, you'll still get hurt. You don't have to be torn in between because we always get hurt from time to time. Everything gives us pain you know and life is a one time offer, be happy. Pain just proves of how human tend to still love despite of being hurt." I sobbed and pulled away, looking at my Unnie as we sat down on the grass.
"I can't just follow my heart, Unnie. You have to be practical." I said, pulling my knees up as I rested my chin on there, wiping my tears away.
"Then I suggest you to follow your heart and take your brain with you. Teach yourself how to balance it. You know, sometimes our mind could be deceiving but our heart will always stay true to itself. Just like when everyone and everything deceives you and the only thing that you will hold onto is your feelings, your heart because they will never lie Jennie. They never lie... heart will lead you to your truth during your dilemmas." She smiled at me, my tears continue pouring down my cheeks slowly.
"But you will always have to risk something for you to able to reach the truth..." She trailed off, looking at me straight in the eyes.
"Are you willing to take a risk, Jen?" She asked me, her eyes searching answers in mine. I heaved a deep sigh and wiped my cheeks.
"I am but----" I was supposed to reply but she was quick to cut me off.
"There is no buts when you are willing to risk. There is no what ifs if you are willing to risk. Just risk, every risk is worth a shot, Jennie. You won't risk anything if you don't find it worthy, right?" I nodded.
"But what if it wasn't worth the shot, Unnie?" I asked softly, slightly feeling better.
"You are like doubting your feelings... but you know the important thing is that you will learn something. Something you can avoid when it happens again because you know how to handle that kind of situation now." I will never ever doubt my feelings towards Lisa. I am more than sure of what I feel with that monkey. Thinking about everything that Jisoo Unnie had said, she is right I told myself I was willing to take a risk but why am I having a hard time doing it now?
"You got hurt, that's what keeping you from taking a risk but if you want something to happen, no matter what the situation you are in. Always set aside the buts and what ifs and just focus on your reason of doing it." She heaved a sigh and looked straight, smiling in the air. It's like she knows what I was thinking.
"And what's your reason?" She quizzed, leaning her back on the tree behind us.
My reason? My reason will always be clear and loud.
"Lisa." I answered simply, she looked at me and smiled.
"Exactly! Now, give her a chance and hear her out. Just for once Jennie, get rid of your doubtful thoughts and take the risk."
"Happiness is a choice, Jennie." My heart started beating frantically as memories of Lisa and I flooded my mind, of how I feel so happy when she's around. How I feel contented when we are spending time.
"Thank you, Unnie. I think I know what to do now." I smiled and rested my head on her shoulder.
"Good. Now let's go to class." She chuckled and I shook my head.
"I want to skip first class and I need your company." I giggled and wiped the stained tears off my face.
"Okay, then. Let's skip class together." I beamed at her and she just patted my head, leaning her body back on the tree.
Remember, happiness is a choice Jennie.
And Lisa is both your choice and happiness. Take the risk.
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Hi. I'm sorry for the late update. I was sick and I'm still am ugh. I tried my best to update today because the girls took Coachella over with their power. Sksksksksksksksk I stan right queens and legends. Now everyone couldn't stop talking about them. I'm emo rn :((((
I feel like a proud stage mom lmaoooo also quick question, how old are you all? Hehe.
That's all! Have a great day ahead and happy reading ;)