The boys are gone and I still can't move. Even though I really thought I was doing the right thing, it ended up hurting more people in the end. I never wanted that. I feel so sorry for everything I've done to Sophie, to Lucas and to Ash.
My phone vibrates, it's the only reason why I move. It's Mace. I don't know if it calms me down or if it makes me feel more remorseful. I sigh deeply and try to collect myself. Sophie needs my help. This isn't about my feelings. I can't begin to imagine how she must be feeling if I'm all shook up.
I get up and respond to Marcel that I'll be down in five minutes, in time for our first interview of the afternoon.
I knock at the door and get in without even waiting for a response. I hear noise in the room and I immediately look in front of me at the moving images of the telly. I walk in deeper and turn to my left to see my friend laying on the bed with her arms crossed.
I look at her without knowing what to do. I fight my own struggle to realise that she must need a best friend more than anything right now. So I walk to her bed and offer her my arms wide open. She rolls her eyes, but gives me a little smile before obliging.
"How do you feel?" I ask her as she parts from me and straightens herself against the headboard of the bed.
She sighs in annoyance and highs her eyebrows before shaking her head.
"I'm sick of them acting so reckless all the time. I'm done always forgiving Lou when he doesn't deserve it. You want to be a rockstar, then be one without me."
"You don't mean that..."
"I'm sick of being taken for granted. He's being so juvenile. I want him to succeed, I love his music, but not what fame is making him become."
"Ash told me he's using because he misses you so much."
"That's no excuse. He misses me so he gets high and doesn't call me. Bullshit!"
"If I'm understanding correctly, you just gave him an ultimatum."
"Yes."
"You're lucky only Ash got sick the other night. I've seen worst from them."
"You've mentioned the Metallica incident." I step forward and take a seat on the bed next to her, getting very curious about their past.
"Yeah.... They are so impressionable. They opened for Metallica and that's where it all began. Lucas tripped so hard, he spent all the money of the band on a motorcycle. 20 000 pounds. He doesn't even have his motorcycle licence!"
"Oh lord..."
"I can't begin to tell you all the things they've done under the influence, Grace. I know you haven't had it easy with Steeve, but neither did I. Lucas cheated on me too. He's never been physically violent, but he said regretful things he has apologised for many times. I forgave him, but I never forgot. Now that they are back at it again, I don't want to live that again. I love Lou, but he has to stop or I'm out."
I look at her as if I was seeing her for the first time, because it's true. She's been doubtful of Marcel, jealous when a girl flirted with Lucas at the bar, I can all understand why now. She's been traumatised by what happened and she doesn't want it to happen again either to her or to me.
"I love him, Grace. So much. But sometimes love is not enough." She sighs and tells me. I shiver and realise how true it is, how powerfully it applies to what I've experienced with Mace.
My phone vibrates, but I ignore it until it never stops and I realise it's a call and not a text. I take it out of my pocket and look up at Soph. She nods and I answer it.
"Grace, where are you? The interview is supposed to begin any minute." Marcel informs me with a surprisingly calm tone. It makes my heart race to hear his voice.
"I'm in the hotel, I'm coming down."
"Alright, I'll be waiting." He says and it makes me smile.
I get up from the bed, apologising to her that I have to leave, but promise her I'll come back when my day is over.
She already shares her plans to order room service when I'll join her later today. At least she smiles. I really don't know what will happen with Lucas and her. I don't want her to be sad. She is already sad to be apart from him so much.
I blow her a kiss once I've gotten off the bed and leave her room. I hate leaving her like this. I really need to find a way to fix this, but deep down, I know that it's up to Lucas.
I take the lift down and press the first floor button repeatedly to hurry the doors to close. I'm already late. I know Marcel will understand, but if the journalist is already waiting for me it doesn't leave the greatest first impression.
Just when I thought I'm not that late, the car stops at the second floor and I hear a very furious and familiar voice.
"You had one job, Kate!" I hear before the doors open, but when they do, I hear more before he sees me. "You don't seem to understand how-"
Paul stops talking and looks at me. He blinks twice and finally enters the car with me. He presses the elevator button with the same impatience as I did.
"I'm working right now. I'll have to call you back." He says on a lower tone, but still categorical. He hides his phone in his pocket as if nothing had happened. I was right! They are plotting something together!! But what? And the fact that I am stuck alone with him in this lift terrifies me. And certainly more so since I lied to him this morning, telling him shit to his face to upset him for Edith to see his true colours.
I don't want to seem intimidated, so I look straight in front of me, but I don't say a single word. It seems like an eternity before the doors close in front of us. I have never been in such a hurry to get back to Marcel. I've taken too much time to talk to Sophie, but Marcel will understand. He isn't heartless and he knows how much I care about her.
It makes me think about Ronnie. I should really text her soon and ask her how she has been holding on. I'm sure Simon is doing a great job at protecting her and entertaining her... A selfish part of me would really like for them to stop fooling around with each other, and other people, and finally admit to one another that they care.
"You're late." Paul says to me, looking ahead, wanting to make me feel inferior to him as he tugs on his suit to better his appearance.
"So are you." I respond on the same tone, and when the elevator dings, I take advantage of the delay before the doors open. "But Marcel is handling everything."
I exit the lift with satisfaction of my maliciousness hidden behind my act of naivety. But it doesn't last long. Paul takes my arms harshly, surprising me that I upset him so bad that he is causing a scene in public. Has he always been so hot blooded? Or is he that desperate to the thought to see his plans fail?
I look at his hold on my arm and how sensible my skin becomes under the strength he uses to tug me back to him. I look back up at him, scared of what he'll do to me, and this time, I can't fake an act. I'm genuinely scared. The way he looks at me, I've never seen him like this before. If eyes could kill, I would be dead.
He leans in with an expression of disgust on his face. Before he says a word, I know he is threatening me.
"Don't be so quick to defend him. He's not the boy you think he is."
"He's more of a man than you'll ever be, I know that much!" I let out with a racing heart, tugging back to free my arm, but fail. I look up and see how proud his smile grows to be, it scares me.
Does no one see what's going on? How come the security on the other side of the hall does nothing?
"I see the little crush you've got over him."
The shock is sudden, and freezes the blood in my veins. I feel exposed and I can't help but to genuinely panic. I look nervously around me, not being able to look at him because my face shows.
"Wha-aat!!?" I stutter, swallowing hard.
"I've seen how jealous you were yesterday. I see the way you always defend him. I see the way you look at him. You can't fool me." His face is hard and cocky and his judgement is clear. He sounds so confident, it's disgusting. It builds the anger inside of me.
I want to spit to his face what I know about him and Kate and that I won't let him go through with whatever plan he is doing by ruining Mace and Edith's relationship. I want to literally spit in his face. But I don't.
"Marcel has more humanity than you'll never have!" I retort in anger, fighting back to free my arm, but he lets me go without resistance this time.
I don't know why he smiles at me, but it's terribly disturbing and all I want is to escape him, so I turn around ready to walk away until his voice freeze the blood in my veins.
"Ah! I'm sure he hasn't told you how his father died." He says louder so that I can hear for ten feet away. He has succeeded. He has my attention, but I'm happy to smash the smirk of his face.
"Of course he did. He's my friend."
My confidence in that argument doesn't even convinces me. I see how badly he wants to hurt me the way I've hurt his ego today, but the look in his eyes is purely vile. His brown eyes have never been so dark, even from that far away, they petrify me.
He takes a step my way, like a beast to its prey, fire in his eyes.
"Did he tell you that HE killed his father?!"