"You need to talk to Flex." Chanel breaks the silence of the room. The movie we are watching hums as an important scene plays on, my mind suddenly too clouded to focus. I keep my eyes on the movie and I can feel her eyes staring at the side of my face. She moves up on the couch and folds her legs.
"Trev." She calls my name as if to pull me out of a trance.
"Yes, baby." I answer slightly annoyed and over the topic.
"You need to talk to Fl-"
"I heard you the first time." I interrupt calmly.
"Drop the attitude. The only reason i'm bringing it up is because he's marrying Mom soon and you're a part of the wedding party... as am I." She mumbles.
"I don't know if I want to be a best man, honestly." I answer.
Chanel is quiet. She lets out a sigh.
"Okay well can you just talk to him?" She questions. "Then make your decision after that?" Her voice is patient. I look at her and she puckers for a kiss.
I lean forward and kiss her lightly.
"Please?" She says against my lips.
I kiss her again distracted. "Huh?" I answer.
Chanel giggles.
"Forreal Trev. Just talk to him." She dismisses.
I suck my teeth and grab my phone. I reach into my blocked contacts and unblock Flex's number for maybe the 15th time this month.
I stare at the call button and before I can really think about it, Chanel pushes the call button for me.
"Ay!" I protest.
The phone begins to ring.
"Talk to him." She whispers firmly.
I take the phone and open the door to the back porch. LA opens up in front of me, the warm air and beautiful sun greeting me, the back porch is surrounded by trees and bushes, it's a little difficult to be mad on beautiful LA days. The phone has rung at least 4 times, maybe he wont answer. I close the door behind me and can hear Chanel increase the volume on the movie.
Two more rings before I hang up.
"Hello?" Flex's voice sounds the same. My heart jumps in my chest. I know part of it is excitement to hear his voice, I know part of it is anger at what he did. My head fights back and forth between the two. I force my heart under submission because for a moment it feels like I was speaking to a Father I've missed and haven't seen in a while.
I don't speak. Too many battles going on within me to find words.
"Trev, you don't have to talk. Just listen to me." He says. I can hear pain in his words and I can hear the harsh voice he puts on to cover it up.
"It was my idea to leak the tape, Emil assisted me. I gave him clear directions on how to send everything in so that I could do a rough mix and release it. It was dishonest and it was fucked up but I wouldn't have risked our relationship if I didn't think this was going to be beneficial to you. I knew if I told you about releasing it you would have dismissed the thought. It's vulnerable, its personal, it's painful. I know that and that's what makes me feel so hurt with what I did. And I do apologize for that part. I'm sorry for invading your privacy and releasing something so close to you. BUT.." Flex clears his throat. I sit on the porch bench in the shade and sit my elbows on my knees listening with little to say.
"This leaked project is 100% the start of your career in a major way. The first song, "Slow Kill" hit 4 million streams in two weeks. Do you know how big that is for a new artist? It keeps climbing up on the billboard charts. Yesterday it was number 15, I estimate next week it will be number 10. You currently have 3 songs from that leaked project on the Billboard charts. Low, but VERY present and moving up. You were depressed. You were drinking yourself to sleep if you were even sleeping at all. I listened to the songs, they were amazing. I knew what they would do." He took a few deep breathes.
"You there?" He asked me.
"You the last person on this earth I thought would do some shit like this to me. And to hear it from Mila?" There is great distaste in my voice. " Those songs didn't just hurt me when you released them, do you know what it did to Chanel? You don't think I would have gotten out that funk? You don't think I would have made an amazing song that would have done just as well as these private songs are doing? You even believe in me anymore?"
"You know all I want is the best for you. I was never tryna violate you or play you. I did what I thought was best and I admit it wasn't the best way to go about it but I love you, I respect you, I'm sorry. I don't like when we not good." He stated. It's quiet everywhere but my mind.
"I'm sorry, Trevon. I don't know how many times I have to say it before I get to have you back in my life. I want you at my wedding, you like a son to me." It's quiet again.
"I miss you, man." He continues.
I chuckle dry.
The 'I miss you' almost had me.
"Maybe we can meet up this weekend and talk, bond a little... make some new songs that will kick the leaked ones right off the Billboard. Let me make it right, Trev. Need my son back." He's put his pride aside but I can't seem to kill mine.
I push against being stubborn and I feel that it takes everything in me. Chanel would want me to go. I think about her proud kisses to my cheeks and face and thats the only reason I accept.
"Aight." I answer.
"Aight..." Flex sounds happier. "Good. Thank you." He finishes.
I end the phone call and shake my head. I decide to stay outside for a few more minutes to get my thoughts together. I still haven't spoken to Mila, and I need to get to the studio soon to finish up the song.
I open my Instagram on my phone and sure enough, she's the first person I see splashed across a music magazine page I follow. Her eyes look deceiving as she sits on a white foreign car in a seductive pose with just a tube top and shorts , her blondish curls blowing with the wind in her face. I think about how Chanel can get just as much attention in a full suit with a slicked back ponytail. My Queen, untouchable, unimaginatively beautiful.
_____________________________
We are set to meet Flex at his LA studio that looks like wealth itself. Chanel and I park in the spot closest to the entrance of the studio. She climbs out after me and I watch her chocolate long legs make their way gracefully out the car, her shorts hugging her waist and ass perfectly, her simple crop top blowing in the wind.
"Hmm." I growl watching her.
She looks at me through her shades and blushes.
Across the street we see people with cameras capturing any moments they claim to be important. We open the door and walk inside. The walls are matte black on the inside, I run my fingers against it's smoothness. I've never been to this one before. All black everything, even the large window frames that were open and let in just enough light to illuminate all the Grammy awards, plaques and trophies. Pictures of him and some of the top artists in the industry hang on the walls but not just selfies, boat parties, weddings, platinum celebrations. I suddenly feel honored to be here. It smells amazing in there though I don't know how to describe its freshness.
Chanel walks in front of me and is suddenly the object of my attention. She heads to the secretary desk and speaks to a young woman on first name basis. She's been here many times before it seems. They catch up on life a little before she introduces me.
"Carla, this is Prodigy. Baby, this is Carla." Chanel motions from one of us to the other.
I stretch out my hand to the dark skinned 20 something secretary who resmbles one of my exes from Brooklyn.
"Nice to meet you." I smile briefly.
"You too, I'm a big fan. Loved the project." She smiles delightful.
I don't return the smile back the second time and I can see Chanel's face turn to nervousness.
"Is Flex in yet?" She interrupts the moment.
"Yes, go straight to the back and turn right to your usual studio Chanel. He's waiting for you both." Carla says.
We do as told, when we are out of sight, Chanel turns to me and chuckles. Finding more humor in Carla's compliment than I did.
"Yea, real funny." I mumble.
"She doesn't know, baby." Chanel comforts still smiling. She presses her lips to mine softly.
"Mhm." I dismiss. We turn the corner to the last studio with a shiny wooden door.
Chanel turns back to me again, her handle on the door before she opens.
"Be nice." She warns.
"Yea yea...Go in." I order.
I slap her ass as she opens the door and she laughs quietly.
Flex sits in his big red studio chair, the soundboard spread out before him. He sees us and stands to his feet, a big smile on his face.
Chanel returns the smile warm and big, her arms outstretched. He hugs her first, tight and loving. Then she moves aside and our eyes meet.
Flex reaches out his hand.
"Hey." He says, attempting to read my face.
I watch his stretched out hand for a moment.
I clasp it, a small smile on my lips. Flex pulls me in to a hug with force so hard I feel like I fly across the room. I hug back tight.
I guess I missed him too.