Wakanda
Spring 2016
To say the mood between Nadine and Nina was subdued as they made their way back to the quarters they'd been given was easily an understatement. Barnes had been successfully frozen and was now waiting—resting, even, Nadine thought almost whimsically—peacefully as he waited for Shuri to complete her preparations to begin working on removing his programming.
Still, it felt like little consolation. He was still frozen.
That he'd at least had a few moments to reunite with his Iris was a small comfort, Nadine supposed, but part of her was still disappointed that Barnes had still opted to go along with the procedure even after Iris' arrival. The image of the younger woman standing, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, in front of Barnes' cryopod, unwilling to leave him just yet, just...watching, stuck in her mind. She'd hoped...
Ultimately, they'd all known the instant he'd told them about Shuri's recommendation that he was going to take it. It made too much sense. That his being in the state of suspended animation cryogenics offered would make what Shuri needed to do safer for him and easier for her—thus increasing the chances that it would work as they all hoped—made it all but necessary.
What wasn't necessary was him going under immediately. Not so far as Nadine was concerned. Who knew how long it would take Shuri to get her preliminary work and preparations in order so she could start on Barnes? Surely, he could've remained awake until she was actually ready to start working on him, right?
Nadine swallowed back a heavy sigh. But at the same time...she did understand. Mostly. She could somewhat understand his reasoning, that he genuinely believed it better—safer—for everyone if he was frozen.
To reduce the chance—minimal though it was, part of her argued, now that he had been offered sanctuary in Wakanda—that his programming could hurt anyone else.
Especially the people he cared about most.
Steve. Iris.
Nina.
Next to Nadine, Nina pressed against her side, her arms hugged tight around her middle as though trying to alleviate the ache there Nadine suspected she felt over watching Barnes getting put under.
She admittedly felt something similar.
It had been...peaceful. But that didn't stop how unsettling it had been. Not knowing or at least suspecting as they all did what sorts of horrible memories Barnes held of being frozen in the past. He'd never explicitly said what the experience had been like in the past, but Nadine had read between the lines. The way his features had grown guarded and nearly blank any time it had come up, his eyes haunted and almost painfully bright in his pale, drawn face as his lips pressed together, echoing the tension that had stiffened his frame? Not to mention what Nadine knew of his treatment by his handlers when he was awake...
It was easy enough to infer that it had been pure torture.
Nadine suppressed a shudder at the thought, a prickle of sensory recall skittering beneath her skin and deep into her muscles like the ghosts of a hundred thousand fire-tipped needles that sunk all the way down to the bone, radiating outward through her veins from her left hand where, for a split-second, she could almost feel the IVs from years before.
So yes. She could easily imagine the sorts of torments he'd endured.
"He is going to wake up, right?" Nina's soft, wavering question broke Nadine free from her own melancholic thoughts with a sharp snap. Arranging her features in a reassuring smile she didn't quite feel right in that moment, she squeezed Nina's shoulders gently.
"He is," she answered confidently, meeting Nina's eye as her face lifted to Nadine's. Nadine's lip quirked into a faint smirk, then. "With what you've seen of the King's sister so far, can you honestly think she won't rest until she solves this puzzle?" she questioned wryly. As she hoped, a tiny giggle escaped Nina as her fearfully apprehensive expression faded, colour beginning to seep back into her drawn, pale features.
"I suppose you're right," she ceded with a faintly wry grin of her own. Nadine smiled far more easily then, not needing to fake the expression anymore as her daughter's face began to brighten.
"Exactly," Nadine affirmed with a sly grin that immediately had the teen frowning in good-natured wariness, "she's not about to back down from the challenge anymore than you are." Nina jolted under the arm Nadine still had curled around her shoulders, looking to Nadine with wide, nearly alarmed eyes. Nadine raised a wry, even challenging brow at Nina, earning a faint wash of pink to colour her cheeks even before she started speaking.
"Don't think I didn't hear you mention to Shuri which Stark Industries server she needed to look into to find that program of Mr Stark's—or to keep an eye out for the pair of false backdoors in his second-layer firewall if she didn't feel like using the access code you gave her," Nadine pointed out dryly. Nina's flush deepened. But a defiant light was suddenly glinting in her blue-grey eyes as she hazarded a look up to Nadine.
Nadine had to swallow back a grin at how utterly unrepentant a glint it was.
"Well, if he didn't want me to use it, he shouldn't have told me where to find it," she retorted, the defiance in her eyes clear in her voice even if she wasn't quite able to meet her mom's eye. "and he did he pretty much say that it was cool for me to try it out since I helped write parts of it...in a roundabout sort of way...though," she added with a vaguely considering look to Nadine, the glint turning faintly mischievous, "I think he was thinking of me having you try it out more than my father...given that he has no idea who my father is." Nadine was severely tempted to roll her eyes even as a knotted mix of surprise and guilt and even a thread of fondness for the billionaire emerged at the admission.
But the thought was interrupted as Nina paled then, her once again wide eyes darting sharply to Nadine. Even though they'd reached the rooms they'd been given, they slowed to a stop just outside, thought of continuing inside on hold as a far more pressing thought took hold of Nina.
"He—Mr Stark doesn't know, right?" Nadine's throat closed, an ache forming next to her heart at the swirling shock of fear and vulnerability and betrayal that had suddenly formed in her daughter's expressive eyes. "He—did he know in...in Siberia?" Nina choked out in panic and dread, barely audible. "Did he know Bucky's my dad when he—" her voice—almost pleading as she pulled out from under Nadine's comforting hold to face her, reaching out to grasp Nadine's arm almost painfully in entreaty—failed then.
Nadine drew in a shaking breath against the swell of emotion her daughter's distress fuelled and tugged Nina into her arms, holding her tense frame tight.
"No, solnyshko," she soothed vehemently, barely able to keep the waver from her voice, not quite able to hold back the heartsick cast that slipped out instead. "He didn't know." And Nina burrowed into Nadine's arms with a shuddering gasp, the tension bleeding from her as relief flooded in to replace it. "He may put it together at some point after...after things I said at Clint and Laura's yesterday, but—" she pulled away, taking Nina's newly damp face in her hands, fixing her with a firm look. "But he didn't know in Siberia. I promise."
Though the bright sheen glazing Nina's eyes didn't dim, a conflicted sort of relief began to surface within them at Nadine's assurance.
Nadine could certainly understand the feeling.
It was...upsetting to say the least, to simply not know if knowing the truth would've changed anything.
On more than just this.
Nadine sighed heavily, and stroked back a wayward strand of Nina's pale hair from where it clung to her damp cheek.
"Don't dwell on this, solnyshko," she urged gently. "Hard as it may be, tempting as it may be to try and figure out if him knowing might have made him hesitate down in that damned base, you can't. All it will do is eat at you if you don't." Sniffing miserably, Nina nevertheless nodded reluctantly, even though her expressive eyes remained conflicted and uncertain.
Nadine knew that feeling too.
Contemplating 'What If's' was seductive. Devastatingly so. And haunting.
And they were horribly difficult to dislodge once they sunk their claws in.
But after a long moment, Nina nodded a little more forcefully, resolve lighting in her eyes as her jaw firmed with it.
And Nadine couldn't help the renewed swell of pride as Nina looked up to her with a tremulous but nevertheless encouraging little smile.
With a final light brush to Nina's pale hair, Nadine nudged her daughter toward the door behind them.
And unsurprisingly, she disappeared soon after into the room the twins had claimed. With a heavy sigh, Nadine sunk into the couch she'd shared with Steve before Barnes had been called away, looking around the almost painfully quiet room. Between the closed door of Natasha's room and the open door to the empty room on its other side—the one that Nadine couldn't say she was surprised that Sam had foregone in favour of a room with companionship—the door had shut after Nina with a muffled click, and a heavy silence had descended save for the momentary scuff of fabric as Nadine had sat.
Unsure whether it was a mercy or a torment, Nadine's mind was unsettlingly blank, though she could feel the ebb and flow of the mess of conflicting emotions the last few hours had whipped up, simmering just out of reach. Inevitably it would catch her out, to the point where part of her just wished it would break already, but for now she was at least somewhat thankful for the peace it afforded her.
A peace that surprisingly wasn't broken with the silence as the door to the corridor whispered open.
She only looked up as Steve settled wearily on the couch next to her, perched on the edge of the seat cushion much as she was, his knee touching hers.
They sat in silence for a long moment, neither feeling the need nor the desire to break the quiet that descended again once Steve had taken his seat. They just sat, Nadine studying Steve's guarded, weary features as he studied his loosely clasped hands where they rested on his knees.
"Everything went well," he finally murmured, not quite willing to impede on the quiet more than necessary, "Bucky's stable and ready for the next stage as soon as Shuri is; she ran T'Challa and me through what she's planning. It sounds promising." Nadine withheld a sigh. He was filling the silence.
"Are you okay?" she asked when he paused to get his thoughts in order. He looked up, his usually open features impassive even as they were considering. The moment stretched almost uncomfortably, but eventually Steve let out a low, frustrated breath, his hands rising to scrub over his face.
"Part of me can't believe he actually went through with it," he said dejectedly by way of an answer; it said pretty clearly what he was feeling without stating it explicitly, "not knowing the way I do now just what he—" and Steve's voice faltered, the rest of his thought unspoken. Not that it needed to be. Turning to him, Nadine edged closer, her arm slipping through the space beneath his to smooth her hand across his chest while the other slid across his back to ultimately embrace him, and laid her forehead against his temple.
"He needed it," she reaffirmed gently, echoing what Barnes had said when he'd been sitting on these very couches with them. "He needed to do it, even if just to prove to himself that he is in charge of his own life again." She knew Steve knew it, but she had the distinct feeling he needed to hear it said anyway.
"He doesn't deserve this," he said helplessly, his heartache on Barnes' behalf painfully clear. "He deserves..."
"More," Nadine finished definitively when Steve trailed off, her hold on him tightening. His broad frame sagged minutely. That was exactly it, and the way he leaned into her, his head turning subtly toward hers in return was more than enough acknowledgement of his appreciation.
Steve sighed, the sound heavy with resignation, his hand lifting to smooth over hers where it rested just over his collarbone, her fingertips grazing his neck. "At least he'll be safe here," he murmured, his tone subdued, even grave, though it was nevertheless threaded with relief. A subdued smile of her own stole across her lips. "T'Challa gave his word on that."
"He'll keep it," Nadine assured softly, if somewhat unnecessarily. But Steve appreciated it regardless, his expression as he leaned away just enough to face her properly saying as much before he leaned in to brush a tender, grateful kiss against her lips. Her hand rising to cup his cheek, she returned it, feeling some of her own lingering apprehensions bleed away with the uneasy tension she'd so far failed to dismiss until that moment as she did.
After a few long moments, she broke the kiss. "Let's go to bed," she murmured. His breath hitched.
"Nadine..." His voice was low and hesitant, catching faintly. It sent a pleasant shiver through her.
"Let's go to bed," she repeated, her hands smoothing down his arms to lace her fingers with his, tugging gently as she stood.
The view through the windows of their room was beautiful, the Golden City sparkling like a fiery jewel in the distance while the stars were beginning to wake as the sky faded from vibrant reds and oranges to the velvety, rich violets of twilight and finally to the blue-black of nightfall.
But beautiful as it was, she only spared it a passing moment's awe.
Though Steve—ever the gentleman, it seemed, and endearingly concerned about pushing too far, too fast—had offered to bunk with either Pietro or Sam, Nadine had quickly dismissed the idea. They'd spent more than enough time denying what had been growing between them and she wasn't interested in wasting another minute.
As far as she was concerned, she was his and he was hers. And the idea of sleeping next to him was oddly thrilling even as it was...natural.
It felt right.
And her life had long since taught her that happiness was often fleeting, after all.
Something always came along to upset it.
So why worry over something so mundane as sleeping arrangements?
Not that she was entirely thinking about sleep in that moment despite the first beckoning tendrils of it beginning to tug at her.
Not when Steve's frame was warm and solid beneath her touch as she pulled him against her. Not when his arms were curling around her and his mouth was soon trailing an exhilarating line of kisses along her jaw before capturing her mouth in a heady, consuming kiss.
Not when she needed him, to feel close to him.
To just feel him, there with her.
Just her.
Just them.
Long, languid moments passed, hands and lips meeting and caressing as articles of clothing were tugged off one by one.
But even as time seemed to slow with each delicious touch, it wasn't long before Steve had lowered her back onto the bed, covering—sheltering, a distant part of her sighed, content—her lithe frame with his broad one.
God, it was so easy with him. So easy to just...let go. To just let her mind turn off and just feel.
Not that he exactly made it difficult...
He wasn't exactly a blushing virgin, but he didn't have a wealth of experience, either. But he certainly was eager to learn, and did he learn fast.
And as a result, he more than managed to reduce her to a trembling puddle of sensation and desire.
She could barely breathe for his hands on her body, for the feel of his mouth waking currents of fire beneath her skin that was soon pooling in a quivering wave of liquid heat deep in her belly. She could only cling to him, his name a pleading moan on her tongue, her nails carding through his hair and scraping across his shoulders as she pulled him closer, nipping and kissing and worshipping every inch of him she could reach as he explored her.
And she came apart with a soft gasp, arching and shaking beneath his ministrations.
Panting as she came down, she tugged at him with shaking hands, eyes intent and heavy-lidded on his as she pulled his mouth to hers, her hands roaming his body in kind—exploring, caressing, stroking.
And soon his own breath was coming hot and fast against her neck, his magnificent body tense and insistent above her, against her, as he fought to swallow back a groan.
"Don't," she murmured, pulling him closer against her, panting with anticipation as the liquid desire in her belly surged and begged for him to touch her, to fill her, "don't hold back."
He didn't.
Her head fell back, a breathless cry gasping free as he sank into her.
And they held on to each other as if each was the only one keeping the other from drowning.
A short while later they lay curled together on the mussed sheets, the sweat of their passion cooling as their breathing slowly calmed, deliciously worn out and sated.
Definitely sated, Nadine mused as she relaxed against Steve's side, humming absently in contentment as his hand lazily smoothed up and down her side.
"I imagine it's going to be tricky finding moments like this going forward, isn't it," Steve murmured eventually, his voice rumbling beneath her cheek. She shifted, propping her chin on the back of her hand where it rested over his pec as she frowned at him curiously.
"Oh?" she countered, her lip twitching. His low chuckle vibrated through her.
"Close quarters?" he prompted playfully, raising a brow. "I doubt we're always going to have as much privacy as we do here in the foreseeable future." Nadine hummed thoughtfully, her shoulder lifting unconsciously in a faint shrug as she considered his observation.
"Not necessarily," she countered thoughtfully. "With a little work, I think Nat and I could get Nina back into school if that's what she wants—not MIT, but there are others where she could be happy, I think—and I can see the Twins deciding to go with her, wherever she ends up. We both know that, as much as Pietro enjoys the fight, he's likely to want to follow her. And...and I have a feeling Wanda, at least, is ready to rest," she said, sobering. "I could see her stepping back from the Avengers." His own features growing thoughtful, Steve slowly nodded in agreement.
"She's tired," he agreed softly before his lips thinned with concern. "But..." Nadine spared him a sympathetic look. She suspected she knew what he was thinking.
Was disappearing even possible for Wanda?
"Whether she chooses to stay with Nina and Pietro or not," Nadine continued, staring sightlessly at the pillow behind Steve's head, "With that she already knows? With a new cover and some extra training? Nat and I can work with her on tricks like disappearing into a crowd, avoiding detection, even minimizing her accent; things we'll probably be going over with her, Pietro and Nina anyway, regardless of what they decide to do. And if she does want to go out on her own?" Something Nadine's gut was suggesting was quite likely, "I have a few apartment boltholes here and there she could use to stay under the radar." She met Steve's eye, impressing how serious she was. "It's possible." Inhaling deeply as he considered her evaluation, he nodded after a moment.
"It's possible," he agreed, squeezing her side gently, prompting her to relax back against him. "It's her call." Nadine hummed. "Which just leaves Sam and Nat, I guess."
Nadine grinned slyly, then. "Good thing most of my boltholes generally have two rooms," she offered wryly. Steve frowned at the expression. Nadine nearly laughed, raising a challenging brow at her Supersoldier. "Didn't you notice the last room out there was empty? Where did you think Sam disappeared to?" Steve blinked as startled understanding spread across his features.
"They're really? I thought it was just innocent flirting..." Nadine snorted.
"Natasha? Innocent?" Steve's nose wrinkled in aggravation at her teasing, but the look broke into a wry grin as he lost the fight not to chuckle.
"I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised, should I," he sighed in playful defeat.
"Nope," Nadine agreed puckishly. He huffed, lightly digging his fingers into her side in retribution. Nadine squirmed, snickering even as he pulled her down for a silencing kiss.
When they finally surfaced several minutes later, Nadine drew back to resume her admittedly rather comfortable place partially draped across his broad chest with her chin propped on her forearm, giving her a clear view of his handsome features as he looked up at her.
Features that that had slowly grown distant and thoughtful and even faintly...sad. She frowned in concern, lifting herself just enough that she could use the hand that she'd been leaning on to trace along his jaw.
"What is it?" she prompted gently. After a moment, he sighed heavily, his gaze refocusing on her.
"I just wish..." he murmured, hesitating as he searched for the right words, "Buck...he and his girl—he and Iris barely got time to say goodbye before he went under." Nadine's chest tightened at the thought. "And after everything they've been through? Knowing that he cares about her just as much as I care about you? I just wish..." She knew what he meant as he trailed off.
It wasn't fair. And Steve wished his oldest friend could've had the chance to have what Steve had found with her, even if just for a short time before going under.
A reprieve where nothing else mattered except simply being with each other.
She drew in a long, slow breath before turning his face to hers.
"They will," she insisted, her gaze intent on his. "Once he wakes up, they'll be together." She couldn't help but smirk then, causing Steve to blink in bewilderment. "Besides, after the way Iris came after him? Do you really think she's going to leave him now? She's not about to let him go," she stated definitively. Steve huffed out a soft chuckle.
"She's pretty crazy about him, isn't she," he conceded easily, a fond smile spreading across his face as the brief melancholic spell began to lift. Nadine hummed in agreement, absently tracing her fingertips along the strong lines of his face.
"Almost as crazy as he is about her," she countered wryly. Steve laughed, the low rumble deep in his chest vibrating pleasantly beneath Nadine.
"You're not wrong," he agreed with a grin.
As his arm curled more securely around her once more in silent gratitude, Nadine stretching out her pleasantly sore muscles with a sigh before molding herself back against his larger frame, smoothing her hand across his abdomen to hug him loosely as she laid her cheek back into the hollow of his shoulder.
She very much hoped they were able to find time for many more moments like this...
She'd very nearly dozed off when Steve inhaled deeply, the familiar tic causing Nadine to look up from where her head was pillowed in the hollow of his shoulder.
"How bad was it? What they did to him." Nadine felt her features going blank on pure instinct as she considered the question. Steve didn't look at her at first, staring unseeing at the ceiling above. But when he did, he sighed heavily, his arm tightening around her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"Bad," she broke in softly. He paused, his face crumpling. "Beyond the obvious? Besides what they did to his mind or the horrific things they forced him to do? There's really no other way to put it than they tortured him." Steve let out a shuddering breath, his head falling back to the pillow as he stared intently at the ceiling. She drew herself up on her elbow to look down at him, her hand lifting to smooth along his clenched jaw. After a moment he looked to her.
"It was that bad for you too, wasn't it." Nadine fell into thought again, her fingertips absently tracing the contours of his face as she did, carefully skirting the fading bruise over his cheekbone.
"It was bad for me," she finally answered carefully, "but not nearly so bad as it was for him."
"Wasn't it?" he asked softly, peering up at her with an unsettlingly knowing look.
"Steve," she objected softly, but the look in his eyes made her counter catch in her throat.
"I may not know all that much about the all things they put you through in That Place, but I have some idea," he said grimly. "I...that you and Natasha managed to make it out the other side and still hold on to your...your humanity?" Nadine couldn't hold his eye, not with the intent and sympathetic, even admiring way he was looking at her.
"I don't know if we did, or if we just managed to find some remnants of it later," she finally admitted softly, forcibly ignoring the vulnerable tremor in her chest and the faint waver that had seeped into her voice in favour of watching her fingers trace along the planes and lines of his muscled torso, "and only then because...because we had...help; Nina, for me and the Bartons and even Fury with Nat." Steve's expression grew considering even though the sympathetic light didn't fade.
Fighting the urge to sniffle against the sticky emotion threatening to clog her throat, she lowered herself back down again, nestling closer against his side. A shuddering breath escaped as his hold on her tightened minutely, some of the tension bleeding from her frame at the small, comforting gesture.
But it wasn't long before another question surfaced. She could feel it in the way his breathing changed beneath her cheek. After a moment she glanced up to him, an uneasy anticipation surfacing at the faint, troubled crease forming between his brows, his reluctance to ask whatever was on his mind evident in the faint press of his lips.
"Why did you leave when you did?" he finally asked carefully, his voice little more than a murmur. Nadine sighed heavily, squirming faintly in his arms.
"I was weeks away from Graduation," she finally said, his absent nod and deepening frown reaffirming that he knew that already. "I couldn't stay."
"Why not?" he prompted gently when she didn't elaborate. "You'd have been effectively free after that, right? Wouldn't it have been easier to disappear after that? Keep Nina secret a little longer and just vanish once they weren't watching as closely?" Nadine gave them a brittle smile.
"To some extent, I suppose it would have been," she agreed wearily.
"So why didn't you?" Nadine bit back a heavy sigh, her chest feeling heavy simply from thinking back to that time...the fear, the uncertainty...
Some hint of it must have bled past her instinctive mask. Either that or it was the minute way her frame tensed that earned her a worried, questioning look from Steve that shortly had her continuing despite having planned on keeping the train of thought that followed to herself.
"Even if I could have hidden that I was pregnant? The Graduation 'ceremony'—if you could even call it that—involved sterilization. And it's a thorough kind." Her voice nearly broke at Steve's sharp, pained inhale as he realized her implication. "Even if I could have kept Nina's existence secret another few weeks," she forced herself to continue, her voice hoarse, "I would have lost her anyway."
"So, Nat—" Nadine nodded sadly, thankful for the low light as her vision began to blur with a warm haze. She nestled closer against Steve's side, soaking up the solid warmth of him as though it would banish the cold, gnawing sensation that always accompanied her memories from that period of her life.
"Yeah," she confirmed reluctantly after a moment, guilt fluttering in her gut. But Steve seemed to understand and said nothing more, and for that she was grateful. She felt bad enough revealing one of Natasha's secrets even if it was only because it was one inextricably linked with her own history. Nor did she want to think about what had been stolen from Natasha; another choice among many that her little sister would never be able to make for herself, and that led to another brand of guilt altogether.
Steve's hand was heavy and comforting as it slid around her waist from where it had been resting on his abdomen to join its partner around her back as he hugged her closer, pressing his cheek against her crown.
It was enough. It was more than enough. And she melted against him.
"No more secrets?" he murmured. She felt his small, fond smile against her hair just as she heard it in his voice. With a sigh that felt like it took the rest of the weight dragging at her soul with it, she shook the last dregs of it free, drawing herself up again so she could kiss him.
"No more secrets," she breathed against his lips. He smiled, his hand lifting to tangle in her pale hair as he drew her down for a languid, tender kiss even as his hand skimmed tantalizingly up her side and hers trailed across his torso, a thrill catching her breath at the muscles flexing beneath her touch.
But, tempting though it was, it didn't go much further, their kisses eventually slowing and their touches stilling back into their comfortable embrace instead of disappearing into each other once more. Not with the night passing around them and the promise of sleep—especially in each other's arms, part of Nadine mused contentedly—tempting them both. And though she wouldn't have complained at the prospect of another round—the pleasant warmth that had spread beneath her skin at his touch attesting as much—Nadine was alright with that.
Neither of them were going anywhere.
The feel of him relaxing next to her had an oddly soporific effect, her own frame relaxing in kind as a pleasant heaviness began to overtake her limbs, a comfortable peace descending around them as they lay in silence, perfectly content just to hold each other as sleep once more began to tug at the edge of her mind.
Temporarily, at least.
After a moment Steve began to fidget, drawing Nadine back from the lull of his steady heartbeat beneath her cheek. But before Nadine could do more than frown up at him, he drew himself up to his side, tentatively meeting her eye as he debated asking whatever thought had struck him. Settling more comfortably into her back, Nadine peered up at him curiously as he absently ran his hand up and down her arm.
"What about...you, uh, us," he stammered out, his cheeks suddenly stained lightly pink. Nadine grinned, suddenly bemused as she caught on to what he was asking.
The way his eyes flicked reflexively down toward her stomach for a split-second rather gave it away.
Nadine leaned up to kiss him lightly, nearly rolling her eyes at his suddenly—and rather endearingly—apprehensive expression.
"You don't have to worry about it," she assured him, lightly carding her fingers through his hair, "I took care of that ages ago." Though it wasn't her intent in the slightest, his expression grew serious then, and Nadine realized the revelation about Natasha had just come to mind.
"Permanently?" he finally asked tentatively, studying her features. Almost a little...sadly. And warmth swelled unexpectedly in Nadine's chest. Shaking her head, she pulled him down for another tender kiss.
And a considering and vaguely...relieved and even...hopeful light appeared in his ocean-hued eyes as he looked down at her.
She wasn't even sure he realized he was looking at her like that.
Like he'd never really given the prospect much thought until that moment...only to realize he liked it.
And Nadine blinked as she realized with a start that the warm, considering feeling in her chest easily mirrored what she saw written so clearly on his features.
After Nina she'd given more thought to not...to preventing any more lives for her to put in danger simply by virtue of being who—and what—she was. Besides, in her line of work? Pregnancy alone was just as much a liability as an inconvenience, not to mention the threat her lifestyle posed to a child; she'd learned that the hard way with Nina. So she'd taken precautions. But now?
With Steve?
Perhaps not while they were rogue as they were now...but if...maybe...
The idea of having not just a future with him, but...but a family?
The warm, wistful sensation swelled in her chest, spreading to wake a pleasant flutter deep in her belly.
"Maybe...maybe someday," she murmured, a gentle, unbidden smile rising to her lips. "But we should probably focus on what to do now that we're rogue for violating the terms of The Accords, first," she added wryly, her grin shifting to a fond smirk. Steve chuckled as he settled back into the sheets, his arms curling more securely around her. Once he was settled, she tucked herself closer, making herself comfortable again.
"You're probably right," he ceded, a smile in his voice. "But maybe someday."
She hummed in absent agreement, her arm slipping around his waist as he shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position.
"So what do we do next," he asked then, drawing back slightly to peer down at her. Nadine shrugged.
"What we were doing before," she dismissed, her hand twitching against his back in an aborted gesture that would've echoed her tone, earning herself a faint, wry grin. "Our jobs. I've got contacts. Resources. Just because we're rogue doesn't mean we can't still do what needs to be done."
"Have I ever mentioned you're something else," Steve chuckled, an awed light in his eyes. Nadine hummed at the look, pleased even as she swallowed back a yawn. She burrowed into his chest, finally content to take the tendrils of sleep that had been lingering on the edge of her mind up on their offer.
"Probably," she quipped back with a playfully smug grin against his chest, "and you love me for it."
His sleepy chuckle rumbled against her cheek.
"That I do," he murmured back.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
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