KRIST AND SHELLI had had the right idea all along -- there was no kind of wedding that was better than a backyard wedding. Lindy had ultimately decided this as the reception began to swing into party mode in the coming night.
Pictures were taken directly after the ceremony, but to Lindy's amusement, each shot was captured on Shelli's old Polaroid camera. She liked the idea of an all-Polaroid wedding album, but found it funny that after each picture was snapped, everyone had to wait for the actual image to develop to see how it had turned out.
The party was moved underneath the tent and the candles were quickly lit to accommodate the setting sun. Lindy had to hand it to Shelli and Beth; they had decorated beautifully, and she felt like she was in the midst of a summer's eve party rather than being stuck in the dead of winter. Bowls of wildflowers were everywhere and string lights had been added in addition to the tea lights. Everything about the scenery, from the tables to the white cover of the tent glowed gold. Lindy had never thought a wedding could be so beautiful.
Together, she and Kurt greeted their guests. At that point, Charlie had been returned to her arms, so as she gave her round of thank-you's, she also had the opportunity to introduce their baby to those who had yet to meet him. Plenty of Kurt's friends from the world of rock music had shown up -- Lindy had the pleasure of meeting poignant idols in Kurt's life like Mark Arm of the Mudhoney and Michael Stipe of R.E.M..
Their other guests were a random mix of family or friends that they had each known, come to congratulate them on making things official. But one thing remained the same with each interaction; Lindy could feel everyone's wondrous stare, praising her silently with their eyes for helping to keep Kurt alive. She could tell that they all shared the same question, which was 'how?' But she honestly did not have an answer. She assumed that only Kurt really knew 'how.'
Kurt's dad was even present, along with his wife Jenny and their son Chad. Kurt had stiffened as he'd approached his father alongside Lindy, no doubt cataloguing a million reasons in his head why he shouldn't have invited him. Lindy had soothed his worries with a simple touch of her hand to his back, directing him towards the broken relationship that she would have loved to see him mend.
"You both look wonderful. And very happy," Don Cobain said slowly, staring intently at his son and explicitly stating each word, pushing as much goodwill as he could into every syllable. He looked down at Charlie with evident emotion on his face, fascinated over seeing his grandson.
"We are. Thanks for coming," Kurt said tightly.
"We're so pleased to finally see you happy, Kurt," Jenny blurted, her eyes shining with what Lindy guessed were remorseful tears. Bravely, she stepped forward to give her step son a hug. He patted her back lamely, but Lindy attempted to save the gesture by hugging Jenny back firmly with Charlie right in the middle of them.
It wasn't the most successful of reunions, but it was at least a step towards something positive on the horizon.
One of the last pair of guests that Kurt and Lindy approached were Jack and Dawn, both of them looking far more elegant than anyone else at the reception. Lindy knew it was unintended. They were both too respectable for their own good.
"Congratulations," Jack said, pulling Lindy into a hug that was maneuvered around Charlie. When she drew back, she saw his eyes burn with a glint of reluctance, as if it pained him to let her go. She could assume what he was thinking, and it must have had a lot to do with their past relationship. She wondered if he was regretting the reality that it was Kurt instead of him standing next to Lindy with a wedding band on his finger.
"I'm so happy you invited us," Dawn enthused. "And I hate to say it, but I'm freaking out a little over the fact that Kim Gordon is barely twenty feet away from us right now."
Jack held his hand out for Kurt to shake, but in a very predictable Kurt-move, he only patted Jack's shoulder and smiled. There was something behind that smile -- if Lindy stood correct, it was the slightest hint of smugness.
In the mix of it all, they both only wished that they could have slipped away to be alone, even for just a few minutes. As Kurt tugged Lindy away from a cluster of his exuberant family members, he murmured into her ear.
"How's it fair that we just got married, but I'm not even allowed to get you alone for five seconds?"
"Because we've got to be good and proper," Lindy replied, though she smiled and swayed a napping Charlie in her arms.
"Nothing about the way you look is good and proper," Kurt said, his eyes roving Lindy from top to bottom. "It's like you picked that dress knowing it would drive me fucking insane."
Lindy's face, already flushed from the evening cold, turned an even rosier shade of pink when Kurt's stare landed hungrily on her face. She was grateful that Charlie was in her arms — if he hadn't been, she would have probably kissed Kurt, and that would have surely led to their disappearance from the party.
It had been eight months, after all.
"Well, what about you? You wore the Paris suit," Lindy accused, feeling her cheeks prickle when their night in Paris floated into her mind.
"Yeah, and now I'm glad I did."
"Hi," Beth said breathlessly, suddenly appearing behind Lindy. "Kurt's mom says we should probably start serving the food she made. You and Kurt want to take Charlie over to your table and sit?"
"Wait, no, take him and I'll help serve the food —," Lindy began, starting to pass Charlie over into Beth's arms.
"Ugh, you're so sickeningly modest. It's your wedding, Lindy. We're not letting you serve the food. Go sit down," Beth said, stepping back with her hands held up.
Lindy didn't argue. She would have preferred holding Charlie as she sat anyways, indulging in the last few hours that she had with him before she and Kurt left on their honeymoon.
The honeymoon, Lindy thought sadly. Almost forgot.
Alone time with Kurt would be a gift from heaven, especially since they'd had barely had any of it without Charlie present. It would be romantic even, just the two of them, celebrating their marriage in peace and away from prying responsibility.
But Lindy had never left Charlie before. He was only two months old, and even though every newly married couple in the history of the world had gone on honeymoons, she felt like a bad mom for leaving her still-newborn son while she went off on vacation.
There was little time to ponder the matter further. Lindy and Kurt found seats at the head table, which they assumed was meant for them. As soon as they sat down, Frances scurried over and clambered into Kurt's lap. He grinned at her.
"Cake?" she asked, her face hopeful.
"Not yet. After the part where we eat dinner," Kurt told her.
She sighed and Lindy laughed in response. Only Frances would have the reaction of sighing rather than throwing a tantrum over being told to wait for cake.
"She's been begging me all night to go to you, but I know you two had your newlywed shit to attend to," Courtney said, waltzing up to the table and folding her arms across her chest. Her eyes flickered between them both, but Lindy had the feeling that she was struggling not let them linger on Kurt for a few seconds longer than normal.
"Thanks for being here, Courtney," Kurt said, his voice sincere. "Not for me and Lindy. But for Bean. I'm glad she can see that things are okay."
Courtney nodded her head in agreement before rolling her tongue across her teeth and glancing around the tented yard. Surrounded by the warmth of candlelight, Lindy admired that Courtney was indeed beautiful and it wasn't hard to see why Kurt had been so attracted to her at one point in his life.
"You're welcome. Where's the alcohol again?"
"As far as I know, all we've got is Miller Lites in the cooler and if you're lucky, Krist will make you a vodka soda."
"Guess I better go find Krist," Courtney said, spinning on her heels. She came to a jerky stop and hesitated, curling her hands at her sides and looking over her shoulder briefly. Lindy saw her red, lipsticked mouth part slightly as she sighed.
"And um . . . congratulations. The both of you."
"Thanks Courtney," Lindy acknowledged, impressed that she'd been able to maintain conversation with them without slinging around even one lighthearted insult. Perhaps her relationship with Billy Corgan was going rather well.
It took no time for Wendy, Kim and Beth to dish out the food to the guests. Everything was served on white plastic plates with disposable silverware to match. Lindy loved it — it was anything but fancy, but it was very much her taste.
At her table with Kurt sat Frances, Trae, Allie, Hannah, Wendy, Breanne, Kim, and to her pleasure, Beth. Kim and Beth were holding hands as they sat down, which made Lindy crow with delight.
"I honestly don't think I've ever seen a cuter couple in my life," Lindy cried, earning bashful looks in return from both Kim and Beth.
Several bottles of champagne were pulled out and passed around as toasts were made, most of which were exaggerated by the effects of alcohol. Beth was the first to start, crying as she ended her speech.
"Lindy, I honestly think I'd die without you. I mean, remember when I didn't believe that you had actually dated Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana? And now you're married to him! I didn't even believe you for a second. Remember how you had to prove it to me?"
Lindy blanched at Beth's mention of their earlier talks regarding Kurt, but Kurt himself was laughing into the sleeve of his white shirt, easing her embarrassment. At least he wasn't mortified.
Krist was next. He gave a philosophical speech that closed out with him comparing Lindy and Kurt's relationship to the break-up and reunion of The Velvet Underground. Lindy's forehead was creased with confusion, but Kurt was clearly amused.
Trae followed Krist, and then Shelli, and then Rosemary Carroll, and then Wendy, and then Kim, and then a few of Kurt's musician friends. Even Dave, swallowing back his shyness, stood to pronounce his joy over Kurt and Lindy's union. Everyone appeared to be incredibly happy for them judging by the amount of praise and toasting that ensued that night. The champagne ran dry and Lindy's arm hurt from raising her glass so much — after the sixth toast, she felt tipsy and was considering toasting apple juice like Frances, Breanne and Hannah.
Charlie had been passed around the table into a different set of arms for an hour, but by the time he landed back into Lindy's cradle, Kim was taking him away again.
"What are you doing?" Lindy asked, her tone slightly pinched. She knit her eyebrows when she noticed that the supposed dance floor had been cleared of the tables that held food and cake.
"It's time for your first dance," Kim grinned, bouncing Charlie lightly and sitting back down.
Lindy's eyes grew in horror. "What? No it's not. We didn't agree to dancing."
"Oh my god, I'm about to slap you," Beth said from across the table, smacking her hand down on the cloth covered top. "Have you ever been to a wedding prior to this one?"
"Kurt," Lindy started, flashing her pleading gaze towards her husband. She expected that Kurt would have none of it; there was no way that he'd actually dance in public, not in front of his family and friends. Not unless he was considerably drunk . . .
Which he surprisingly wasn't.
He smiled, standing and sliding off his suit vest before outstretching his hand. Lindy groaned.
"I sort of promised you a first dance a couple months ago, Lindy. Don't you remember?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lindy griped, slapping her palm into Kurt's and allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. Everyone was turned in their chairs, watching. Lindy saw the flash of Shelli's camera.
All of the sudden, as if in alignment with Kurt's words, music began to play out of an ordinary boombox that someone had plugged in. Lindy's face fell in shock when she heard the opening notes of the song.
"Crowded House?" she whispered.
Kurt slid his fingers in the spaces between hers, pulling her close to his chest and tilting his forehead against her own. In only a matter of seconds, the scene changed, and Lindy felt like it was only the two of them there, dancing around the backyard.
"The corniest, dumbest song ever," Kurt whispered. "But I'd dance to it with you any day."
Lindy could feel her mind slowly slipping away from the real world surrounding her and Kurt. It was easy, especially when she was wrapped so closely against him, listening to 'Don't Dream It's Over,' the same song that she had swooned over as a teenager. It had been her number one pick for a first dance song, even back when she'd known nothing of real love and marriage. But her wish had been fulfilled -- of course Kurt would make it happen despite thinking the song was ridiculous.
She knotted her fingers in the ends of his lanky blonde hair, inhaling deeply. His scent, her favorite scent, mixed easily with the smell of fresh air that came rolling off the Cascade Mountain Range in the distance. They were hardly even dancing. Mostly, Kurt just held her, swaying her back and forth in a fixed little circle. It was better that way. It made it easier for Lindy to believe that it was really only them. Their guests had melted into the background like paint on canvas, and finally, it was only her and Kurt. What made it even better was when she opened her eyes to see the anxiousness swirling in his blue irises.
He was nervous about dancing in front of an audience too. But when Lindy smiled, he smiled back, and it became very easy for Kurt to close his eyes and dance with Lindy, similarly to the way he had in her kitchen with her on a morning that felt like forever ago.
So much time had passed since then. He was alive. Really, truly alive, and actually happy about it. He had once vowed that he'd never live to witness his own first dance with Lindy, but Kurt had proved himself wrong. He'd pushed through and endured the worst emotional pain imaginable, and in that moment, he was almost positive it had all been worth it simply for that one moment.
It all came to down to dancing with Lindy at their wedding, pretending they were the only two people not just in their backyard, but for miles and miles. That's what made it worth it in the end -- that and the two precious children that sat not only but a few feet away from him.
His children.
Lindy held Kurt close, wondering if it would be remotely possible to let him go once the song was over. She could have stayed there forever, rotating in a circle with him and smiling to herself over the fact that she had managed to get Kurt Cobain to dance to Crowded House. She figured anything was possible now.
She had already seen it all.