"How was last night?" I asked my grandma as she stirred some food in a pan.
"Not too bad," she said, turning towards me before hearing a bang upstairs. "What are they doing up there?"
"Sounds like they just woke up," I said, smiling into my cup of tea. And pretty much as soon as I'd said it, the groaning started.
"Rough night?" Grandma asked Brenda and Clara as they came down the stairs, make up all over the place.
Elise and I had seen them sneak back into the house, having fallen asleep on the sofa.
"Honestly," Elise said, pulling a strand of confetti from Brenda's hair. "You both look a right state."
They both slumped into the chairs at the dining room table.
I picked up my stuff and went out into the pool area.
Sofia was wiping down the bar, whilst her son was nowhere to be seen.
"Julie," Sofia said when I approached. "Can you do me a favour?"
"Of course," I said, squinting in the sun. "What do you need?"
"Would you mind waking Nico up?"
I nodded, painting on a smile even though I wasn't really sure he'd be all that pleased to see me.
I eased the door to the restaurant fully open and went inside, shivering at the biting cold. Further I went, reaching the door I'd been through not that long ago. The memories of that night were fresh in my mind, and I felt my fingers tingle as they touched the handle— as if my body was hoping to repeat the events of the last time I was here.
I pushed on it. "Nicolás, your mum—"
I halted, swallowing my words.
Before me, Nicolás lay in bed, sheets around his lower half, dangerously low. It was quite obvious he had nothing on underneath. That wasn't what made me pause, though. The girl beside him did. She, like him, was naked beside the covers.
"God," I said, turning round to preserve their dignity. "I should have knocked, I'm sorry." I turned on my heel and speed walked all the way out of there.
I felt a strange empty feeling in my chest, but I suppressed it as soon as I saw Sofia.
"He's up," I told her.
She nodded, and motioned to someone behind me to come over. I didn't look, already knowing who it was.
"Nico," she said, as he came to stand behind me. "Take over this please." She handed him the cloth. To reach it, whether on purpose or not, his arm brushed mine. I stepped away. "I'll be back in two seconds."
He went to take her place behind the bar but as soon as she'd gone, he stood in front of me.
His eyes looked desperate. "Back there, that wasn't wh—"
I touched his arm, but took my hand away quickly. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Nicolás. You don't owe me anything."
He nodded, looking like he was about to say something before deciding against it. He went to the bar, and began wiping the already spotless counter.
I went to the other side of it, handing him some money. "What's this for?" He asked.
"Last night," I said, "For the drinks."
He took the money from me, fingers brushing against mine. I pulled my hand away. And went to go.
"Julie," he said, making me pause mid-step. He came in front of me again, and took my hand. I pulled away. "Please tell me you didn't mean it."
"Didn't mean what?"
"About us," he said, eyes searing into mine. "That we couldn't be anything."
"Nicolás," I said, reaching my hand up a touching his cheek. He leant into my hand, holding it there with his own. "You know we couldn't."
He was the one to pull away, face stony. It was like a slap in the face.
I turned before he could see my façade fall.
"Oh, sorry," I said as I almost bumped into the girl he'd been with.
As I was walking away, I heard Nicolás telling her to leave.
I could feel his stare on my back, angry and hurt.
☼ ☼ ☼
Nicolás having drinks with the girls was becoming a regular thing. I sat a distance away, trying not to let myself feel anything as Brenda flirted with Nicolás... and he flirted back.
"Have you ever been to London?" She asked, putting her red hair over one shoulder, partially exposing her ample bust.
"I haven't," he said, eyes on her's.
She lent in. "Would you?"
He came closer to her, too, voice low as he said, "I might, for you."
I swallowed a surge of bile.
"Where's all the alcohol gone?" Clara asked, looking at the empty bottles surrounding them. "Julie!"
I pretended to only just realise I was in their company. "Yes?"
She shook an empty wine bottle in my direction. I took the hint. I sighed, exasperated, as I got up and went over to the bar. Like their little get togethers, it was becoming a regular thing for me to have to practically wait on them.
I retrieved what I knew they wanted and went to give the bottles to them.
"Julie," Elise said as I placed them down by their feet. She patted the empty space beside her, right opposite Nicolás and Brenda. "Sit with us."
"I don't think so," I said, preparing to leave them, get my stuff and go back inside.
"Come on," Elise begged. "It'll be fun."
I couldn't be bothered arguing, so I sat down.
"How are you and Tim, Julie?" Clara asked. Out of all the things she'd probably been told about me and that was the thing she remembered or wanted to talk about.
We were talking independently, Brenda and Nicolás continuing their flirting, but I could tell he was listening in on their conversation.
"I don't know," I said, honestly.
"You're going to dinner with him, aren't you?" Brenda asked, straw inbetween her red lips, eyes alight. She always did love a bit of drama.
I coughed, awkwardly, avoiding the boy beside her's penetrating gaze. "Lunch. We're going to lunch, but it's not like a date or anything."
"You never know," she said, tapping me on the knee. "You could find the spark again and rekindle your romance."
"I don't know about that."
She smirked, replacing her drink on the side. "Well, they do always say that hot, wild make up sex is the best kind. Isn't that right, Nic?"
I looked at him, as did everyone else.
"Depends who it's with," he said simply.
"Want to have an argument so we can test my theory?"
I got up.
Elise looked up at me, concerned. "I'm tired," I said, trying to excuse my abruptness. "I'm going to have an early night."
☼ ☼ ☼
Even from the safety of my room, I could hear them talking, laughing, flirting. I knew I couldn't be annoyed. I shouldn't feel anything. But I did. It was frustrating, infuriating. He was frustrating, infuriating. But I couldn't change how I felt.
I wanted him. I needed him.
"I need to apologise," I said to myself, pacing around my room. I stood at the window, moving aside the curtain to see if I could see him. "Sorry, Nicolás for... for giving up because of—"
My imaginings were cut off, however, when I spotted him.
I had to sit on my bed, in fear of falling over.
Because, standing just below my window, was Nicolás and Elise... kissing.
Maybe it was stupid. No, it was definitely stupid but once I'd tucked myself into bed, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
☼ ☼ ☼
For the next few days, I avoided Nicolás at every turn. Whether it was walking in the opposite direction to him or pretending to hear gran calling and— quite literally— running away, I was dodging his impending confrontation.
I was no longer angry. And the pain in my chest had become somewhat bearable. But that didn't mean I was ready to see him.
"I can't believe you boinked that," Brenda said, biting her lip as she stared at Nicolás. So they had slept together. I bit my lip, too, but to refrain myself from crying.
Elise rolled her eyes.
"It's a shame, really," Clara said.
"How so?"
"Now I can't have a go," she said, twisting her blonde hair into a bun with her brows furrowed in disappointment. "Don't want your sloppy seconds."
I went over to the house.
"Are you feeling okay?" Grandma asked when I came in. "You look deathly pale."
"Just tired," I said. She accepted my answer but Rosa, stood behind her, didn't look so convinced, not when she caught my fleeting look at Nicolás. I hadn't looked at him all day, but for some reason, at that moment, I couldn't stop myself.
She raised her hand to my head. "You're hot, Jul." I felt my own face. I was fine. "Our freezer's broken but Sofia's got some. Go over and use it to cool down."
I sighed but went, walking quickly in the hopes that Nicolás wouldn't see me pass.
"Sofia," I said as she was about to leave. "Gran said you had some ice?" She nodded. "Do you mind if I use some?"
"Of course," she said. "It's in the freezer. I'll get Nico to show you."
"Oh, no. You really don't have t—" but she was already calling for him.
"Show Julie the ice," she said, and disappeared out of the door.
I stood, awkwardly.
"Ju—"
"The ice?" I asked, cutting him off.
He nodded, and led me into the kitchen. He gestured to the bottom drawer of the fridge.
I got what I needed and went to go. He caught my wrist.
"Don't touch me, please."
"I need to tell you something." He seemed worried, not obviously but he never usually scratched his neck so much. "About Elise and I."
"I know you two kissed," I told him. "But it's none of my business who you sleep with. It has nothing to do with me."
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
I sighed. "What do you want me to say?"
He pushed away from the counter he was leaning on and standing close in front of me.
He pulled at the ends of his hair. "Show you care! Shout at me, call me a every curse under the sun, tell me you don't want me with any other woman."
"If she makes you happy," I tried to say. My breathing was becoming harder but I'd always been good at lying through my teeth. "I'm pleased for you."
"She doesn't," he said, looking away. "She's not you."
"Oh, Nicolás," I said, running my hand up his arm. I drew it away and stepped back when I heard his mum come in.
"Did you find it?" She asked, looking between us. Stop looking at me like that, Nico. Way to be obvious.
"Yep," I said, touching her arm as I passed. "Thank you again." I refused to meet Nicolás's eye, no matter how much I wanted to.
"Nico," I heard her say as I closed the door behind me. "Get everything packed up. A storm's due."
"Yes, mama."