Mad As A Hatter (Completed 20...

Od 3pointt14

3.1M 137K 95.1K

Madness can only be written in blood. //#1 in Horror, #1 in Action, #34 in Humour and WATTY AWARD WINNER: On... Více

I'VE REWRITTEN MAD AS A HATTER - AVAILABLE NOW
chapter one ◊ eno retpahc
chapter three ◊ eerht retpahc
chapter four ◊ ruof retpahc
chapter five ◊ evif retpahc
chapter six ◊ xis retpahc
chapter seven ◊ And Then She Must Do Her Homework
chapter eight ◊ thgie retpahc
chapter nine - enin retpahc
chapter ten - net retpahc
chapter eleven - nevele retpahc
chapter twelve - evlewt retpahc
chapter thirteen - neetriht retpahc
chapter fourteen ◊ the best (& favourite) chapter I've ever written in my life
chapter fifteen - neetfif retpahc
chapter sixteen - neetxis retpahc
chapter seventeen - neetneves retpahc
that new chapter - chapter eighteen
chapter nineteen - neetenin retpahc
chapter twenty - ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty one - eno ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty two - owt ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty three - eerht ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty four - ruof ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty five - evif ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty six - xis ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty seven - neves ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty eight - thgie ytnewt retpahc
chapter twenty nine
Chapter thirty: THE FIRST WAVE
Chapter thirty-one: THE MESSAGE
Chapter thirty-two: GRIM
Chapter thirty-three: FINAL WAVE
Chapter thirty-four: SAVAGE
Chapter thirty-five: CHICKEN NUGGETS
Author Note <3
VIDEO INTERVIEW!!!
MAD AS A HATTER - REWRITE AVAILABLE NOW
Amazon Prime Panic Bonus Chapter: Mad as a Hatter

chapter two ◊ owt retpahc

215K 7.7K 12.7K
Od 3pointt14

His nails plunged into the black heart, slime dripping between his fingers and onto his fancy Givenchy shoes. He squinted hard at the object.

"What, are you gonna eat it or something?" I smirked.

"I-I-I think so."

I choked on my own saliva. "Pardon?"

He twisted his hand around, fixing his gaze on the beating organ. "I-I-It is America so I'm not surprised they've enlarged their McNuggets."

Bubbling with a mix of irritation and shock, my hands did a crazy flap. "Can you not see what you're holding?!"

He wrinkled his freckled nose and peered closer. "A soggy McNugget." My silence caused him to look up, panic slicing across his face. "W-W-Why do you a-ask?"

The dots slowly connected, wiring to the mental bulb that flashed above my head. "Kid, do you need glasses?"

His feet did an awkward shuffle and his eyes fell. "M-m-my Ray-Bans are in the truck. And my c-contact lenses..."

I slapped my hand to my cheek, sliding it down with a groan. Stupidity couldn't even begin my current state. "Okay. So you haven't been able to see this entire time?"

He squinted again, eyes closing to slits. "I can see some stuff; occasional blurry things."

My system hummed, the demon souls returning for their daily Innocence. Just kill this boy, feed those bad bitches and you'll be on your merry way. Tiredly unsheathing my knife, an eerie moan whisked through the air, sending my spine upright.

The boy sensing my cautiousness, stuttered, "W-W-What's wrong-"

I sloshed through a blood puddle and swiped the dagger to his lip, putting him on mute. A high screech burst from the outside of McDonalds and I immediately pointed the dagger to the darkness that still lingered past the broken windows. Except instead of the dagger heating at the approach of humans, it was left cold.

"Demon," I whispered.

"Semen?"

As if the creature was offended, it released another thunderous screech that shook the hanging lights. "Total demon," I confirmed.

Terror emitted off the boy's features and he dropped the heart in the paper bag, crumpling the top with his balled fists. "I-I-I'd prefer it to be semen..."

I wiggled my thick brows. "What about demon semen?"

Mortified, his hands were trembling, the bag now vibrating. "D-Don't say that kinda stuff. I-It makes me uncomfortable." The next screech wobbled the tables and I heard glass crunch under heavy impact. "Why is there a d-demon outside?"

I casually picked up a thief's shotgun and answered, "Yeah...I'm not so sure myself." I stuck a look through the barrel, measuring the bullet with a single glance. "Hey my eye fits!"

He backed away, tripping over the chair behind him. "Why aren't y-you doing anything?"

I slurped a ball of spit and spewed it on the gun like a tobacco chunk, to then polish it along my bloody shirt. "I will. Gimme a sec."

"W-we don't have a"-there was a sharp howl of wind before the demon leaped through the window, its two clunky feet making an earth shaking touchdown as the cement tiles shattered beneath those hideous toenails.

"Someone needs a pedi," I said.

My eyes struggled to register the demon's truck sized body, its jagged black scales and red Sabre tooth fangs that gleamed in the sunrise. His footsteps approached us; its talons dragging across the ground to sharpen, sparks igniting. The boy squinted. "Grandma, is that you?"

My head swerved to the side and I jabbed a thumb to my chest. "Do we look like Little Red Riding Hood to you?"

The demon opened his mouth and freed a morning breath roar of alcohol, blasting our hair back like a 10,000 watt blow dryer. Pink hair and a McDonald's employee tag were wedged in its teeth.

The boy made an Ann Darrow scream and leaped in a booth. "H-How do we get rid of it?"

The demon arm swung and I dove, land sliding into a blood puddle as its scales brushed my arm hair. I coughed up the human juice and hissed, "I don't know Little Red. Why don't you fucking throw your baked cookies and see if grandma will fetch 'em?"

I instinctively rolled over, the demon fist ramming right next to my head. A Sparta war cry bellowed and the two of us froze to watch several cookies get thrown over the counter, soar for a good long second, hit the floor, roll in a circle and clatter graciously to a stop. There was complete silence. Then boy screamed back, "I don't think it likes cookies!"

I felt the demon snort above me and I took the chance, grabbing a shard of glass to repeatedly thrust into his neck. Black goo dripped into my shirt but I ignored the sticky sensation. Putting one last stab, I faced the damage and my chin hung low. "God dammit." In horrible fascination, its scales consumed the wound, filling the cuts with more scales to finally recover in seconds.

The demon growled and slapped my side with the back of its hand, sending me across the restaurant to slam into the cashier counter, knocking the one leg. My shotgun left my hands, skidding a few metres away. "Ow!" the boy yelped. I groaned and propped my elbows up and leaned over, peering on the other side of the counter to find him rubbing his head, the leg now beside him.

"What are you doing?" I snapped.

He didn't get a chance to answer because I felt a claw latch onto my ankle. My heart jolted in shock and I swiped the dagger across, cutting its wrist before scurrying off the counter. As its scales flared up to recover, my back slammed into the ground, knocking the wind out of me. Not giving me a chance to think, I rolled and scooped up the shotgun and fired at its neck. Surprised, the demon's feet weren't rooted enough as he soared through the interior, nearly tearing half of McDonalds as the outside walls collapsed. Volcanic puffs of smoke erupted, bricks toppling on one another.

"Fina-fucking-lly." Relief surged through until the smoke cleared and the demon twitched below the bricks. Then I recalled Lord Death's final advice, "Everyone has a heart, some immune to emotion and others the opposite-even demons have them. The only way you can kill demons is to destroy their heart."

My blood ran cold in dread, my gaze snapping to its open chest, the black heart not there. The demon roared again, wiggling off the bricks, shooting the familiar reek of alcohol. Either the demon ate the lesbian alcoholic or... he was the demon. Confusion hit me at the heart's disappearance and then my eyes darted to the happy meal in the boy's hand.

"Hey kid." He glanced up and my fingers were inching him to come closer. "I'm gonna have to take that happy meal back."

He protectively hugged it to his chest. "But it has my McNuggets in it."

At the corner of my eye, I saw the demon toss the brick like a fly. "Give me the bag," I bitterly ordered.

"B-but the happy meal is mine!"

The demon twisted his head back around, malicious eyes shimmering towards me. I spoke through gritting teeth, "Things change."

"You're just jealous because you like soggy nuggets too!"

I glared. "Who the fuck likes soggy nuggets?" The floor jerked as the demon rose to its feet. "If you're not gonna give it to me, at least remove the demon heart."

The colour flushed out of his face, the nauseous pale returning. "D-d-demon heart?! You said there were McNuggets in here!" The demon cracked its knuckles, its black beady eyes hounding me down.

"Listen boobnoob. Take out the heart." I listened to the rummaging of the bag, and slowly moved my hand towards the shotgun that laid inches away. "Got it out?" The demon kicked its foot back, creating a bull-like trail of dust.

"Y-Yes."

"Good. I want you to hold it tight." I gradually kneeled for the weapon. "Get a knife," I told him.

I heard the metal scrape off the counter. "O-Okay."

"Now break its heart."

This demon was gonna die.

"But that's mean!"

Or not.

The demon began to charge, starting off slow. I yellled, "Rip it to shreds!"

"No one should have to live through heartbreak!"

The demon increased its speed, opening its gigantic mouth to reveal red stained teeth. "Fucking listen to me!"

He exclaimed, "But-"

I spooned the gun in my hands, locked on the bag and pushed down the trigger, the bullet swiftly ripping through the paper, squirting blood across the boy's face, his mouth wide open as the demon dropped dead in mid air. The tile popped out of the floor from the intense blow.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until my head started pounding. I released a loud exhale, and dropped the shotgun. "That took longer than I thought. What do you think, kid?" I turned and saw the boy slowly move his hand to his cheek, smearing the blood off in shock.

"You...you...you just got ketchup on me!"

I blinked several times, debating to either aim at him or myself. Then he began to put his finger in his mouth. I lifted a protesting hand, "Don't-"

He shoved his two fingers in, tasting the demon blood. I disturbingly gazed as he then pulled it back out, smacked his lips together many times, licked his teeth and puckered his lips. "Salty."

"That wasn't"-I just sighed-"Never mind. We need to leave before any other demons pay a visit." First the thief and now the drunk man; There was no way a random drunk guy could just appear in the middle of nowhere with a bottle of alcohol.

I wasn't a fool to notice someone was summoning demons after me.

And I had a gut feeling whoever summoned them were going to be sending more.

"Let's go." I dipped my hand into a blood puddle and scavenged for the dagger to slide it in my thigh strap. I ushered the boy, stepping over the dead demon.

"We?" he asked.

I snatched up a purse and yanked out a wallet, stuffing it in my bra. "I like to think of you as a midday snack," I responded.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He halted by the doorway, voice trembling. "W-W-Why should I come with you?"

I turned over and found him clutching the bag. "Why do you stutter so much?"

"I-I'm a shy guy," he said.

"Awe," I cooed. "You're a shy guy? That has to be the cutest thing ever. Hold up." I pressed my hand to my chest. "I think...I think I feel my heart melting. So much...adorableness..." I rolled my eyes and fisted his shirt, bringing his face down to mine. "If you want to be alive in the next five seconds I suggest you grow a pair. Balls, boobs, eyes." I let go of his collar and kicked open what was left of the restaurant door. "This isn't an order. It's advice. You don't want my vomit all over your rich boy shoes. I'm allergic to cuteness."

Approaching his car, I realized it was an Infiniti and read the license plate 'NBEYOND'. My brows perked up. "Your dad has a sense of humour."

The boy didn't respond, shaken and already in the front passenger seat. Not minding the fact that he was eager to escape, I hopped in the driver seat and thanked the Lord for the keys already in ignition. "So what's your name, kid?"

His dark brown hair was jammed in the compartment as he rummaged through it, searching. "My name is Isaac."

I made a weird face and turned the keys, the engine rumbling with ease. "That's a weird name."

"I was named after Isaac Newton," he muffled, head still in the compartment.

I sniffed. "Didn't that guy like invent apples and shit?"

"No!" he harshly spat. I gave him an icy glare and he lifted his head out, shrinking back. "I-I-I mean, no." His cheeks roasted a pink and he burrowed his face back in. "A-And what's your name?"

I held the clutch and shifted gears, the tires creaking across old pavement. "I don't have one." I kicked my feet on the dashboard, using one hand for the wheel and looked at Isaac. "I did have one though. Long ago, before I became who I am now. The memories are faint."

He frowned, my eyes adjusting to his usual squints. "Everyone remembers their name. We all have one."

"Nah..."

"Ah ha!" He fumbled with something and hauled out his glasses, quickly pushing the black box frames onto his nose. He glanced up, and went ten shades whiter. His spine instantly slammed back into the window, strained nails crushing into the armrest.

My smile dropped. "I'm fat. I'm fat aren't I?"

"B-B-But...Y-Y-You're-"

"I'm what?"

+++

Dylan O'Brien as Isaac (He's perfect for the part. Don't you think?)

Thank you immensely for the vomments and I couldn't be happier! And thank you for your patience!

Question of the Post: Would you rather be a demon or angel?

Comment what you think :) Updates will be much for frequent now!

Please vote!!

Xoxo j_street

HEY: You don't need to read the previous story to understand this one since they both stories have drastic differences in plot, character and setting. So please, don't ask about how the other book is relevant to this one or if you must read the previous book to comprehend this one. Because no, you don't have to read the other book to get this and yes, things will be incorporated but just have patience.

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